


Heartlines

by QueennorKing



Series: RGB Trio [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angel and Demon AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Demon AU, Hurt/Comfort, NON-GENDERED READER, NOT rated D for Disney, NSFW, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Violence, Xehanorts the bad guy who knew, demons and angels but not christian demons and angels, mostly canon compliant until story starts, no multiple worlds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 133,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23444809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueennorKing/pseuds/QueennorKing
Summary: that connect me to you.Despite what everyone was saying was the apocalypse was hurdling right around the corner, you didn't think much of it. Every day was the same, and you were going through the motions of life. That is, until you helped two lost teenagers find their way home to a man with a halo of fire.ORDemonAU that deviates from canon midway-through Days with extra lore and other things thrown in. You're just a simple person trying to live as best you can as you self-isolate from everyone and everything and, oh, the apocalypse is also happening in the background but its for the best if we try to ignore that, yeah? Until you run into some kids and their guardian and your life gets far more complicated than you ever expected.OC belongs to my friend, honeyishtar
Relationships: Axel & Saix & Reader, Axel & Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Axel (Kingdom Hearts)/Reader, Lea (Kingdom Hearts)/Reader, sea salt trio - Relationship
Series: RGB Trio [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1267376
Comments: 65
Kudos: 69





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with more Reader/Lea! This time we're going against canon  
> Do you want to change Y/N to your name or an OC's name? Here's an extension that'll help you with that!  
> https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/interactivefics/pcpjpdomcbnlkbghmchnjgeejpdlonli?hl=en  
> Thank you to my best friend and beta, honeyishtar, for helping me with this!  
> Also I know people sometimes don't like first-person, but don't be alarmed, that is not the reader's pov. It will switch to second-person when it's the reader's pov.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar for being my beta!

There were clouds, and there was blood like golden ichor. And there was myself and I, running through white streets, stained with that same gold, burnt and pillaged by the aftermath of a still-waging war. I could hear it, the last of the shouts, the last of us fleeing towards the fall.

Did we win?

But as I looked down at my bleeding arm and saw the liquid gold staining my torn clothes, I knew I didn’t have time to make sure. I kept running until there was no more street left, and then, there were clouds, and a blue, unfeeling sky. All that was left to me was what lay below.

I had never gone below the clouds before, though I had strayed from time to time, hungry for a taste of something I didn’t know. At that moment, I knew, the moment I was beyond them I would never, ever come back.

There! There are some of the others! They’ve hit the clouds... and now they’re gone.

Part of me wants to take one last look at the place I had called home, but I’ve gotten this far. I can’t turn back now. I’ve crossed the line, and I did it because I wanted to. I needed to.

I jumped, then, I fell. My wings burned as I dove below the clouds.

* * *

You woke up with a gasp, the feeling of freefall already disappearing along with your dream. Your eyes darted around your bedroom before they closed. Just another nightmare. The feeling of your sheets beneath you reminded you of that.

Your eyes opened slowly to stare at the ceiling, the shades of sunlight filtered between the curtains, dancing slowly across the walls. Touching everything but you and your blank stare.

Another day it is, then.

It was an effort to roll out of bed, numb to the hardwood under your feet. Routine to change out of your pajamas and into your work clothes. Slipping on your shoes and grabbing your wallet and keys before taking your gummiphone off the charger and closing the bedroom door behind you.

Your roommate was sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal, watching the news on the T.V. Her name was Hibiki, and that was just about all you knew about her. Her skin was dark, her hair an odd shade of purple with silver bangs that you didn’t typically see, and she had eyes that worked like an electrical fence. She was closed off and cold, but not bad. She hadn’t eaten any of your leftovers since she moved in, at least.

She gave you a nod as you passed her by and nothing more, which was fine. She wasn’t much of a talker.

As you prepared your own breakfast, you half-listened to the news anchors.

“Any updates on the Heartless invasion?”

“Yes, the flood of monsters have all but taken over the East Coast, the entirety of Destiny Islands has now been evacuated. There’s still no sign of recovery for the Islands and Radiant Garden. The Heartless have begun to move steadily towards the mid-continent. If you or a loved one live in any of these areas – “

You heard her growl, but other than a concerned glance, you didn’t ask. It was like this every time the Heartless were mentioned. You could only assume she had been displaced after they attacked.

“I’m off to work, have a nice day.” You said before opening the door.

“Yeah, you too.” She said back.

You took the stairs and walked outside the apartment complex. People were already out, walking their dogs, or taking morning jogs. Cars rolled down the stone streets at low speeds, all as Twilight Town’s signature red and orange daylight hung just over the brick buildings.

Normally, you’d be driving to work, but your car was still in the shop after its latest breakdown. It was a junkheap of a car, you knew, but you didn’t have the money to buy a new one just yet. At least your job wasn’t too far away, a thirty minute walk at best.

The shop was on the way, and the garage door was open. You poked your head in just in time for the mechanic to get out from under a car.

“Hello.” You piped up.

The older man straightened and turned his head to you. He gave you a slight smile, “Hey, kid. The car isn’t finished quite yet.”

“Still waiting on that part?”

He nodded, “Won’t be until late tomorrow, I’ll call when it’s ready.”

“Okay, thank you, Cid.”

“Not a problem.”

“Have a nice day.”

“You too.”

Cid and his family were refugees from Radiant Garden, and they were the lucky ones. There was no warning when the Heartless invaded their home, it was ground zero. From survivor reports, it was just another day like any other when the sky suddenly darkened and the strange monsters started appearing, destroying the city and slaughtering civilians left and right. They were able to evacuate some people, others were able to tuck tail and run, and many, many others were left to die.

You didn’t know everything, but the times Yuffie was around at the front desk, she would sometimes tell you little things. That they were lucky to be on the outskirts of the city when it happened, that Cid was coming home just in time for the sky to turn black, that they had to leave a lot of stuff behind when they frantically got into the van, that they were on the road for hours before finally having to stop for gas.

The news report echoed in your head. The entire east coast was overrun now, steadily coming closer. There was no sign of it stopping, no one knew how to get rid of them, and still you were going to work like it wasn’t even happening. People were still walking the streets, going about their daily lives, and they would until the imminent arrival hung over their heads.

You shook away the thoughts in your head, focusing on the sidewalk in front of you. One step at a time.

You didn’t pay any attention to the alley open to your right, barely heard the footfalls, and then you and your life were turned on its head. You fell on your butt with a grunt, dizzy from the impact. When it passed, you sat up to see who you hit.

“Aw, crap.” He hissed.

The other guy didn’t fare much better. He sat on his butt, his long legs sprawled out in front of him, nearly tangled in yours. His red hair caught the sunlight and it was like he was haloed in fire, and when he opened his eyes, they were as green as flower stems.

Your breath caught in your throat as you scrambled to get on your feet, “I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You outstretched your hand to him, “Here.”

He gave you an irritated glare, but didn’t refuse your hand as you helped him to his feet. He dusted off his clothes with a word of thanks and didn’t hang around long after that, quickly taking off again without a backwards glance.

You stood there, blinking at his disappearing figure before dusting off the back of your pants and continuing on your way. Stumbling obliviously into danger.

* * *

Lea was having a terrible-not good-very bad day.

First, he woke up late, again, after being unable to sleep, again. Then, he spilled coffee on himself after taking a drink. Not because of anything really, just his own fault. Just as he was done throwing his shirt into the laundry basket, Isa stepped outside his room, still frail, and asked where Roxas and Xion had gone.

Gone? What do you mean, gone?

_What do you mean they’re gone?!_

This, of course, meant that he had to throw on a new shirt, put on his shoes, and run around Twilight Town just short of screaming like a banshee. He even mowed over a random person in his hurry.

It had been _hours!_ Where could they be?

Lea groaned, slapping his hands to his face, safely hidden away in the shadows, away from prying eyes. _Shit. Shit, dammit, SHIT!_

His hand flew out of its own volition, a flinch of muscle memory, before he recoiled and pulled it back to his chest. The first wisps of a Dark Corridor were already fading back into the shadows.

 _Too close._ He tried to take deep breaths, _Too damn close._

After gulping down the initial panic, he turned around and let his back hit the bricks. His hands ran through his long hair, scratching at his scalp furiously.

_Where could they have gone!? Why did they leave the apartment!?_

“Fuck!” He grit out, throwing himself off the wall, “Roxas! Xion!” He called out, trying to shout but afraid of being heard. “Where are you?” He bit his tongue and started back on the search.

About thirty minutes later his gummiphone pinged and he pulled it out, hoping that it was the kids, only to be disappointed when it wasn’t.

_“Have you found them yet?”_

Lea scowled, _“No but I’ve been texting and calling.”_

_“I noticed. They left their phones here.”_

_“WTF”_ He growled low in his throat, _“Just stay there in case they come back”_

Shoving it back into his pocket, he took off through the streets. His height gave him an advantage, but an advantage doesn’t matter if they’re not there in the first place. As the minutes of searching and silence ticked by, his terror only grew. And the sun was moving uncaringly across the horizon as it had always done.

* * *

You slowly made your way back home from work, humming quietly to yourself. It wasn’t quite dark yet, though the wind was getting colder lately. Still, you knew the streets, you were familiar with some faces, and you didn’t care what happened to you, so it was fine.

That’s when you saw a halo of fire rise over the hill. That same man that you had stumbled into was standing at the swell of the street, desperately looking for something.

“Roxas!” He shouted, “Xion!” His voice was so hoarse and broken, but not from misuse. It sounded like he was ready to cry.

He finally looked out over the road, and his eyes landed on you.

“Um,” You heard yourself say, “Are you okay?”

He pulled his shoulders back and scowled down at you, “I’m fine!” Then he dashed across the street and disappeared.

You furrowed your brows as you followed his shadow until it was gone. After a moment, you shrugged and rubbed your forehead. Well, whatever was going on, you hoped it turned out okay.

And so, you took the next left and continued your walk. The minutes ticked by, and so did you, knowing full well that when you got home you would just hole up in your room again. Just the same as every other day.

That’s when you heard the sound of stifled sobs. Curious, you continued to walk on, walking right past an alley, the same one you had fallen in front of that morning if you remembered it right. You got about five steps past it before backtracking and peeking into it.

On the dirty ground where two teenagers huddled together. They knelt close to each other, their faces turned away from the open, crying into their arms, almost hidden in the shadows. You felt certain that your eyes had tricked you when you saw their outlines waver like heat radiating off a car.

Unsure of what to do, you knelt, balancing on the balls of your feet and quietly said, “Excuse me?”

They immediately stilled, their eyes rocketing towards you from over their shoulders. Now that they weren’t so hunched over, you could see that they were a boy and a girl. The boy had a mess of dirty blonde hair and the girl had wavy black hair that hung just above her shoulders. Their eyes were the same deep, fathomless blue.

A growl ripped through the boy and he shot to his feet, but you quickly held up your hands.

“I’m not here to hurt you!” You explained, “I just heard…” You cleared your throat, “Do you guys need some help?”

The boy refused to take his eyes off you, his expression something almost like a snarl as he stood over you. But the girl, while still cautious, didn’t seem so afraid. Slowly, she reached out and touched the boy’s wrist.

“We… We need help.” She whispered to him.

His lips slowly closed, but they still twitched, “But what if – “ He gulped, and you saw his anger for the fear it truly was.

After a second, she pulled herself up to stand beside him, staring down at you with eyes that made something in you shudder, “I don’t think they’re o – “ She cut herself off, rethought her words, and said, “they’re going to hurt us.”

Slowly, you stood up, “I’m definitely not here to do that.” You tried to laugh it off, but it came off as awkward more than anything, “What do you guys need?”

The boy glanced at the girl, his eyes still red from crying. The girl swallowed, “We’re lost. And we need to get home to our, uh,”

“Our brother!” He yelped, then froze at your stare, “Our… brother. Who’s at home.”

Now, did you believe them? No. Not really. But you were willing to play along.

“Okay, and where’s your home?”

They shared a look of mutual, muted agony.

“Do you know?”

They chose to look at the ground instead of at you.

 _Welp, ah, shit._ You tried not to sigh, “Okay, well, let’s start off simple. Is there any, I don’t know, landmarks that you’d recognize?”

By the looks on their faces, the answer was no.

“Take it you haven’t been here that long, huh.”

They shook their heads.

You put your hands on your hips and thought about the situation for a moment. There were two teenagers who had no idea where they were, had no idea where they were going, absolutely lost. And there was you, who knew where you were, usually knew where you were going, and… you might just end up lost in a few minutes trying to get these kids home.

You introduced yourself and asked, “What’re your names?”

Again, they looked at each other from the corners of their eyes, their brows drawn together in a line.

“That’s okay.” You recovered, despite getting a sinking feeling in your stomach.

Was this all a ploy? But, just as it might have been one, there was an equal chance that these were two frightened teenagers lost in an unfamiliar place. It didn’t matter, because they might really need your help.

You took a deep breath through your nose and twiddled with your fingers, “I know my way around this place pretty well. Why don’t we walk around together until you see something familiar?” Then, you asked, “How long have you guys been lost?”

“Since this morning.” The boy muttered after a moment.

Your eyebrows shot up, “Have you eaten?”

They shook their heads, but neither seemed particularly bothered by it.

Still, “Why don’t we get something to eat while we’re walking? There’s a place right up the street. My treat.”

You stepped out of the entrance and watched them hesitate before quietly toeing the light. Their eyes danced around the world just past the invisible barrier, then, together, they stepped outside.

You smiled in what you hoped was a comforting manner, “C’mon, follow me.”

They did, to your relief. They hung out behind you, their eyes switching from you to around the street, as if they expected someone to attack. But, again, two kids in an unfamiliar town. That was just good sense, right?

Neither of them knew what they wanted from the menu, but eventually pointed at a random item and asked for it. You paid for it, as you said you would, and pretended you didn’t see them inspect their food before taking timid bites of it. At least they didn’t spit it out.

And so, you started walking around town, the two kids following you, searching for some clue to get them home. You planned out the trek in your head, taking care not to get lost yourself.

About forty-five minutes later, you stood with your hands on your hips, the sun slowly making to set. Your eyes tracked the skyline until it fell on the clocktower. An idea came to you.

“Hey, let’s go up there.” You pointed at the tower, “Maybe you’ll notice something from up above.”

With no better ideas, they agreed.

* * *

Lea was going to lose his mind. Again and again, his mind brought him to the worst possible outcomes. That, despite being so careful, he hadn’t been careful enough. That he failed, and now Roxas and Xion were – They were –

 _Cut that out!_ He growled at himself, _I’ve got to keep looking._

And so, he continued running around, hoping for a trace of them. Slowly, he made his way up, following the steady upward climb. Until he found himself at the train station. The only place higher than that was the clocktower.

When there was no sign of the kids, he dashed to the railings and searched in vain down below.

Another growl built up in his throat and the metal creaked in his grip, “Roxas!” He whispered in an aborted scream, “Xion!”

_Where are you?_

* * *

You stood on the clocktower’s perch, overlooking the town below. The two kids stood beside you, their eyes wide as they took in the view.

“I never knew this place was so pretty…” The girl said.

The boy nodded, “It’s so big.”

You smiled gently at your home, “I used to come here a lot as a kid.”

“Why’d you stop?” The boy asked.

The smile turned bitter, “Be careful of the ledge.” You pointed out, “Don’t fall off, please.”

As if on cue, they both looked over said ledge. They didn’t seem bothered by how high up they were. Then, the boy shook the girl’s shoulder.

“Look!” He said, pointing at something below.

The girl gasped, “Axel!”

You followed his finger and saw, for the third time that day, a halo of fire.

Without another word, both of them ran for the exit. You followed.

* * *

When he heard his old name being said, he panicked, only to realize the voice was familiar.

“Xion?” He gasped, looking around, “Xion! Where are you?”

He was lucky to have stuck around long enough to see the two kids rush through the train station doors.

“Axel!” They shouted.

“Guys!” He said in relief, which quickly switched to anger, “Where have you been? What were you thinking, going outside the apartment like that?”

Ashamed, they both couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

“We saw some kids outside…” Roxas muttered, “We…”

“We just wanted to know what they were laughing about.” Xion whispered.

Lea took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Of course they did. Could he blame them? “Why didn’t you bring your phones? I got you those for a reason!”

“They were already walking away and we didn’t want to miss them.” Roxas said, “I didn’t realize we left them until we were… y’know.”

He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead, “You can’t just waltz out without telling anybody. You realize that we have to be – “ Then, he saw you, and a few things occurred to him at once.

One, he had seen you twice before. Two, he hadn’t even registered your presence, at least not as a threat. And three, though he was sure he never met you before that day, you were somehow familiar to him.

“Can I help you?” He asked, his brows furrowing.

“Oh,” Xion said, waving at you, “This is Y/N. They helped us try to find our way back home.”

He narrowed his eyes, “And brought you to the clocktower because…?”

“They thought we could see our apartment from here.”

You shrugged, “We tried walking around, but they didn’t recognize anything, so… this was all I could think of.”

Casting a sharp glance at the kids, he folded his arms and sized you up. You were human, that much he was certain. You didn’t look like a threat, but he could never be too sure. He focused in on your eyes, and though there was something empty in them, he could see that they were kind. And people like him could read humans pretty well.

After a moment, he said, “Thanks... For helping them.”

“No problem.” You smiled, “I’m just glad we were able to find you.” Then, to Roxas and Xion, “This is your brother?”

They nodded.

“Thank you for helping us.” The girl, you now knew her name was Xion, said with a small smile.

Roxas nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”

You felt yourself become a tad self-conscious, “Really, it’s no problem.” Then, to the man, Axel, “Do you know your way back home?”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine from here.” He said, ready for the entire ordeal to be over, “C’mon, you two. Let’s go.”

You watched them leave, silent, and once again alone. Your eyes were drawn to the sun, just beginning to touch the tallest of Twilight Town’s towers, absolutely unaware of what was transpiring on the world it warmed.

The man’s hair was the same color as the sunset, but his eyes were green as the grass in a meadow. And, he somehow felt familiar to you. You didn’t know how. You would remember someone like him, you would think.

With a deep breath, you made your way back home.

Your roommate was in the middle of making herself some dinner when you entered the apartment. She turned her head to you, but didn’t voice her question as to why you were so late. That’s okay, it didn’t really matter.

Once again, you fulfilled your routine: take a shower, make supper, eat, and widdle what time you had left before going to bed.

You closed your eyes and hoped that sleep came easy, and that those three got home okay.

* * *

Isa was sitting on the living room couch, staring at his phone, waiting for the others to come back. His eyes immediately fell on the door when he heard the lock click. And, thankfully, in came two sheepish children and a grumpy Lea.

He sighed, “That was incredibly foolish.” He scolded, “But I’m glad you’re back.”

Roxas and Xion mumbled their apologies as Lea crossed his arms.

“You’re lucky no one tried to kidnap you, or worse.” Lea ended gravely.

They nodded.

With a huff, Lea pushed their shoulders towards the hallway, “Get cleaned up.”

When they disappeared into their room, Lea collapsed into the sofa next to Isa, his head in his hands. “That fucking sucked.”

Isa nodded in agreement, “You’re sure no one caught wind of them?”

Knowing exactly who ‘no one’ meant, Lea shook his head, “A human helped them find me, but I don’t think they’re with them.”

“Are you sure?”

He barked a humorless laugh, “No.”

“They didn’t follow you?”

“No, I was careful.”

“Good.”

The two exhausted men sat on the couch in silence.

“Do you still feel him?” Lea asked.

The bags under Isa’s golden eyes seemed to grow, “Like needles in the back of my mind.” Sensing Lea’s concern, he was quick to add, “But I’m fighting it.”

Lea saw the hollows of his jaw, the way he shook ever so subtly, the hunch in his shoulders, how his sweats had become baggier than they were a few days ago. “I know.” He put his hand on his shoulders, “But how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

Lea’s eyes hardened, “Are you so sure about that.”

Isa closed his eyes, “As long as I sleep, I’ll be fine.”

“How bad were your dreams?”

He shuddered, “You could not imagine.”

“Give me a shot.”

His expression twisted into a grimace, “His eyes keep appearing behind me. He keeps following and following, I can hear him catching up. I try running, but he doesn’t stop. And then I’m at the Dark Margin, and when I look into the waters, I – “ Shaking, he covered his eyes with his palms, his voice breaking, “These aren’t my eyes.”

Lea’s fingers tighten slightly on his shoulder, “Isa…”

“Don’t look at me with pity.”

“I’m not. I’m worried!” He turned his face away, “You know there must be a way to get him out.”

Isa uncovered his eyes and stared at Lea from his peripheral, “The only ones who may know – “

“We are _not_ going there.”

“The only other option is to – “

“We’re not going _there,_ either!”

“Lea, if we don’t – “

Lea took his hand away and snapped, “I can handle this!”

Movement caught his attention and he saw Roxas and Xion watching them from around the corner. Isa was looking at him with such tired eyes. And an unsaid question echoed: _How long can we keep this up?_

He took a slow breath, “It’ll be okay, guys. We’ll think of something.”

None of them looked reassured. Least of all, Lea himself.


	2. From Tallest Heights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You fell, too.  
> TW: Kinda suicide-attempt and Heavy drinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna thank honeyishtar for beta-ing for me and helping me with the colors on the picture!

It happened when you were eight. 

You were tiptoeing across the clocktower’s ledge, pretending to walk across a tightrope, because why not? It seemed like such a good idea at the time, the extra thrill of danger only making it better. You were a kid, you were immortal! Nothing could hurt you from so high up. It didn’t occur to you that anyone would notice you up there. If you had, maybe you wouldn’t have fallen.

A loud shout surprised you out of your thoughtless play, “HEY, YOU, KID!”

You don’t think they meant to scare you. They were probably just scared themselves, seeing you do something so dangerous, but it didn’t matter. Your ankle twisted toward their voice and your foot went right off the ledge, and you followed after.

You saw clouds, and just enough of the clock to watch the long hand tick. Another minute had gone by. As gravity brought you to the unforgiving earth, you desperately wanted to see it move again.

Even though you knew you’d hit the ground, you never knew how much it would hurt. The pain didn’t bloom, it wasn’t pretty like a flower. It was sharp, it was ugly, it was loud, like thunder in your bones. The echo of them breaking, of your organs rupturing, of your wet blood staining the bricks underneath you.

You were only dimly aware of the screams tearing through the day as your vision began to darken. All noise began to soften as the pain became too much for your little body to handle. What was left of you was shutting off, unable to hold you any longer.

But just as it was about to end, just like it had begun, a light drifted down and warmth held you, like the sun itself. Someone was cradling you in the velvet, jagged darkness, carrying you back from the threshold.

 _“Not when I’ve finally found you.”_ Came a voice, _“It’s going to all be okay, now. Just stay here with me._

_“I won’t let you go.”_

When you woke up in the hospital, you didn’t remember anything beyond the swooping sensation when your foot slipped. Everyone said it was a miracle that you had survived at all, and you had the scars to show it.

But just as you were told to do, you stubbornly continued to live. When did you stop, and when did it become just you going through the motions?

Do you want to go back?

* * *

You stood at the auto shop’s front desk, waiting for Cid to come out of the garage. Yuffie was sitting on the wood counter, kicking her legs back and forth.

“So, what have you been up to?” She asked.

“Just work.” You shrugged.

She frowned at you, “The only thing you do is work! Tell me something else. You have to do something other than work.”

You smiled awkwardly, “Um, yesterday I helped some teenagers find their brother. That counts as something, right?”

She leaned forward, “Anything cool happen?”

“Not really?” You said after a second, “I ate out for the first time in a while and went to the clocktower.”

She gave you a pointed stare.

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

That’s when Cid entered the small room, wiping his hands on a rag, “It’s all done.”

You got out your card and paid, looking at the screen with a note of despair. Another setback, you wouldn’t be able to get that new car for a while. Not as long as you had to keep sinking money into the one you had.

“Thank you so much for taking care of it.” You said with a small smile.

Cid smiled warmly back, “Hold on, we got something for you.” He went into a room in the back and came back out with a casserole dish.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Just something for you to heat up whenever you get hungry.” He said, putting it on the counter.

You stared at it for a moment before waving your hands, “You really don’t have to!”

He gave you a pointed look, just like Yuffie’s, “It’s a gift. Please take it.” He nodded to the receipt in your hands, “Just something to thank you for your patronage.” You knew he meant, _“I know you need to save some munny. Don’t worry about groceries for a bit.”_

With self-conscious guilt, you picked up the dish, mumbling your shy thanks.

Glad that you accepted it, Yuffie and Cid smiled, “It’s not a problem, kid. Your car’s waiting out front. Drive safe.”

“Thank you.”

With your goodbyes, you opened the front door only to be met with a familiar face. The redhead from yesterday stood on the other side, his hand outstretched towards the knob that was there just a second ago. He stared at you, and you blinked right back.

“Oh.” You said, “Hello again.”

“Hi.” He replied, his brows furrowed just a little, as if your very existence confused him. Then he realized he was in your way and stepped back to let you pass.

You thanked him and took a few steps outside before you heard him speak up, “Hey, what’s your name?”

You turned, “Y/N.”

He nodded, mostly to himself, “Lea. Thanks again… for yesterday.”

You were sure Roxas and Xion had said a different name before, but maybe you were wrong. “No worries.”

You went your separate ways once again. You unlocked your old, small car and carefully put the casserole on the passenger’s seat. You considered buckling it in, but only grinned at the thought, got in the driver’s seat, and pulled out of the lot towards your apartment.

* * *

Lea looked at the receipt in his hands and sighed. He was quickly running out of the munny he had so meticulously saved from before they ran. Getting their apartment on such short notice was expensive, so was getting their junky furniture, the car, and their phones. The first of the month was becoming a looming threat with each passing week. He needed to figure out how to get more, find a job.

He got in the car. For a moment he didn’t move, then, pushed by some invisible weight, his head met the steering wheel with a soft thump.

Despite the lack of a heartbeat in his chest, he had another panic attack last night. Actually, it was a series of them, suffered in the silence of his room. For a whole day he thought one of his worst fears had come to pass. It hadn’t, but the experience still left him weak, and he hated that.

To know that man had such a hold on him, on them, that the very thought of him struck Lea with fear. What he wouldn’t do to utterly destroy him.

He remembered when he could cry, when the burn behind his eyes would weep out with or without his permission, and the quiet relief when it was over. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to be able to feel his own tears roll down his cheeks again. 

Later, he pulled into the apartment complex’s parking lot, but when he opened his door, he stopped. In the apartment was his best friend, having troubled sleep just to survive. In the apartment were the two kids he decided to throw everything away for so that they could live. In the apartment was where he paced for hours, unable to sit still or fall asleep in fear that the shadows in the corners of his eyes would come alive. In the apartment was a prison he had made for himself.

He closed the door and sat there with his hands on the wheel, staring through the window without seeing anything. He couldn’t go in there like this. Couldn’t let them see him breaking down. Their last line of defense was on the verge of collapse.

He put the car into reverse gear with an aggressive shove and backed out of the parking space before speeding off. The sky was stained red and purple with the sunset, the first of the stars blinking awake for the night.

* * *

You looked into the fridge, carefully making room for the dish sitting safely on the counter instead of being balanced in your hands. The soft click of a door being closed announced that Hibiki had come back from work.

You gave her a small smile from over the fridge door, “Hey, I got a casserole today. If you want, you can have some of it.”

She stepped around the counter and took a look at it. “Ratatouille?”

You nodded, “The mechanic’s family made it.”

She didn’t exactly turn her nose up to it, but didn’t seem interested in it either. You didn’t blame her, compared to what she made and let you taste, hers was likely superior. Not that you thought Cid’s cooking was anything to sneeze at.

“Thanks.” She said, going to her room.

You watched her disappear into the hallway, and you were suddenly and brutally aware of your own loneliness. Like a weight on your heart, slowly being suffocated under its own pressure. You tried to smile it away, but it only made it worse.

You tucked the dish away in the fridge and closed the door. Funny, how something as simple as a closed door could make you feel so empty. The pressure behind your eyes was familiar, but the tears wouldn’t come.

How much longer could you keep this up?

Your feet shuffled slowly around, then quietly brought you to the window overlooking Twilight Town. The last of the sunlight was fading across the horizon. The golds folding into rich purple, the red diving into blue, the stars replacing the sun. It was a new moon that night, it was black where it’s pale glow should’ve been.

The walls were suffocating. They always had been, but you had ignored it because it was what you knew. It was safe. You were never hurt as long as you were never known. And for so long, you were content with that.

But something was breaking, now. The pressure of years of flooding into a glass pool. The cracks were crawling up, they had been for a long time. You just didn’t notice, or maybe, you didn’t want to. But now, the sound of a lock was enough for it to all come crashing down.

You grabbed your keys and closed another door.

That hollow ache followed you down the stairs and outside and into your car. You put the car in reverse and pulled out of the lot and into the night. There wasn’t a destination you had in mind, so you drove mindlessly.

You saw other headlights belonging to other cars that belonged to other people. What was going through their minds at this time of night? Who were they going home to? Did they have people who were waiting for them? On the other side of the door, or on the other side of a screen?

Remembering the feeling of the freefall that had haunted you since you were eight, you pulled a sharp left turn and started going up the streets. Towards that tower that stood head and shoulders over all of Twilight Town. The highest point.

You didn’t know how long you had been driving. It had been some time before you decided to go back there. An hour, maybe? Of blind following, of thoughtless twists and turns, for no other reason than to taste something you had forgotten. And you hadn’t found it.

You pushed the gear into park and left the car unlocked as you ran up the incline from the station parking lot further down the hill. This hollow emptiness, this weighted pain eating away at your stomach, urging you further. It wanted you to feel something else too, but it did so with cruel intent. It was so hungry.

The station wasn’t closed yet, but they were winding down, which meant that the side entrance to the tower was still open. The door opened for you and you started up the stairs, your momentum slowing. The lights glowed orange, watching your steady ascent until they couldn’t any longer, locked behind yet another closed door.

You stood outside, heard the click behind you. The sun was gone without a trace, leaving only the stars above you. Step by step, you walked around the bend until you were right below the long hand counting the half hour.

Shadows and lights danced from within windows, yellow streetlamps illuminated the little, lived in world below. The wind was cold, raising goosebumps on your arms, and with it brought the damp scent of late autumn. Even then, the world was spinning, and it would, with or without you. How could one feel so alone in a world so alive?

When was the last time you truly spoke to someone? When was the last time you asked for the attention every human desperately craves? When was the last time you saw and asked to be seen in return?

Your feet found the ledge. Would you play trapeze again? Looking down at the bricks below, you wondered if you’d come alive, just like you did that day.

Then, without warning, raw heat clutched at your heart, so hot it almost burned. It shocked you to your core and you stumbled backwards, falling against the wall, away from the open air. Just as soon as it came, it softened. Its grip became a caress of warmth, a hug from inside your heart.

~~_“Don’t hurt yourself!_ ~~

~~_“I’m with you, don’t you remember? And I’ll always be here to bring you back.”_ ~~

The tears finally came, running freely down your cheeks in the cold, dark night. They came violently, ignoring your palms pressed against your eyes. Even then, you had a feeling that not all of them were your own.

* * *

Lea, when he was still one of them, was best known as the one to spoil himself with what the world had to offer. Sex, clothes, views, the occasional nibble here and there, and drink. And that night, he was going to drink himself into oblivion as if it were the last thing he was going to do.

The bartender looked at him over the several empty shot glasses Lea had in front of him, “Drinking like it’s the end of the world, huh?”

His vision had been blurring since two drinks ago, how many drinks he had total… he had long lost track. Still, all he could do was snicker, his hand reaching out for another glass, “You dunno the half of it.” He managed to wrap his fingers around one of the small glasses and flimsily slammed it on the counter, “‘Nother.”

The bartender grimaced at the temple of glass crumbling in front of him, hardly able to understand the words dribbling out of the stranger, “I’m gonna have to cut you off here, man.”

Rage bubbled in Lea’s gut, but whatever control he had over his fire he had lost a dozen shots ago. He could barely singe the table in the state he was in. A low growl built in his throat before he hissed, “Fffffffine.” Clumsily, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, throwing a wad of paper munny onto the counter.

He pushed himself out of his chair and stumbled onto the hardwood.

“Hey, let me call you a taxi.” The bartender said, but he brushed them off.

“’M fine!” He slurred, practically falling out the door and onto the sidewalk.

He wasn’t exactly in the good part of town, but he wasn’t necessarily the bad part either. Usually, there would be no reason to worry, except this time he was stumbling down a dark street and was beginning to lose feeling in his body. The edges of his vision were turning black. He realized he hadn’t drunk enough.

The last thought that went through his head before his long legs gave out was:

_Wait… where did I park the car…?_

Then he fell face forward onto the ground and promptly passed out.

* * *

You were slowly driving through the streets back towards your apartment. Your eyes burned and your hands shook around the wheel, and you were heading back to those four shrinking walls. The warmth in your heart hadn’t subsided, just got quiet. Did you have some sort of subconscious reaction to that place? Trauma could sometimes cause physical pain like that, right?

The hollow void was neither filled nor gone. It was waiting with hungry anticipation for the next flood, for when the glass ceiling finally shatters under the water’s weight. 

You leaned back into the seat and sighed, then your eyes practically popped out of your head. The headlights caught sight of a person half on the sidewalk and half on the street, limp and lifeless. You slammed on your breaks, the tires squealing in protest. Putting the car in park, you jumped out and flew to their side.

You paused only for a moment, immediately recognizing the mane of red hair.

“Lea?” You called out, kneeling. “Lea?!”

You shook his shoulder and got no response, so you gently pushed him onto his back. For a moment, your heart fell into your stomach. He looked like death. Then, his chest rose and fell with his breath. He reeked of booze.

A sigh of relief blew through you. Again, you shook his shoulders, “Lea, wake up!” But besides a sleepy grumble, you got no response out of him.

 _Oh, dammit._ You shut your eyes and tried to think. After a moment of brainstorming, you searched his pockets and eventually found his gummiphone. 

There were several text messages, some from Roxas and Xion, and a fair few from someone named Isa. They all were along the same vein: _Where are you???_

You tried to unlock it, planning on calling one of them to pick him up, but it was protected with a six digit passcode. You didn’t have the foggiest idea what number combination he would have.

Frowning at the phone, then at the unconscious man you only barely knew, you knew you couldn’t just leave him there. You put his phone back in his pocket and carefully pulled his long, limp arms over your shoulders, maneuvering him so that his cheek rested on your shoulder.

The street was far from empty and passerby’s were beginning to stare. You smiled nervously at a couple who had stopped a few feet away from you.

”I know him!”

Though they didn’t seem convinced, considering you had been calling out his name was enough for them to keep walking.

With that done, you got to one knee and hooked your arms around his thighs. With a grunt of effort, you heaved him up and got to your feet. You stumbled only for a moment under his gangly weight, but steadied. 

Even through his clothes, he was very warm. With a shock of fear, you turned your head to press your cheek against his. His sharp cheekbones dug unyielding into yours and he was hot, but his skin wasn’t sweaty. Still, you couldn’t take any chances in case it was a fever. 

You took a deep breath, “Okay, Lea. We’re going to my home now. Please don’t think I’m kidnapping you.”

You clumsily went back to your car and opened the passenger side door. It was difficult and awkward getting all his limbs safely in the vehicle and buckling him in. 

When you got to your apartment, you hoped no one was looking out of their windows or coming home. But, the walk to your apartment was anxiously uneventful. It was a struggle to fish for your key with him wrapped around you, but you managed by resting him between yourself and the wall. You kicked the door open and closed before you carried him to the sofa. 

You tried to lay him down gently, but your arms and legs felt like noodles after carrying him all the way from the parking lot and up flights of stairs. Still, you managed to catch his head before it met the fabric. 

Taking a second to catch your breath, you moved him around until he was comfortable. His head rested against the arm rest, but his legs dangled off the other side. It was not a big couch, still, it would have to do. 

You thought about putting him in your bed, but considering the circumstances you were sure that would freak anyone out. You didn’t want to scare him like that, that would suck immensely. 

After stretching your arms, you got up and went to the bathroom for a washcloth and soaked it in cold water. You gently put it on his forehead, hoping it would offer some relief. Then you went into the kitchen and got a glass of cold water and put it on the coffee table for him whenever he woke up.

“Uh,” you heard. You looked over your shoulder and saw Hibiki in the hallway, staring at the strange scene in front of her, “what the actual fuck?”

“He was passed out in the street!” You explained quickly, “I know him, uh, kinda.”

She looked at you like you were crazy, “And you brought him here? Really?”

“I tried using his phone to call someone he knew but it’s locked!” 

Her brows pulled taught in an annoyed grimace, then stalked towards you, but paused halfway. Her eyes zeroed in on Lea, her face went stony. 

“Just who the hell is he?”

“His name’s Lea.” 

She shook her head, opened her mouth, then promptly closed it. 

After narrowing her eyes, she took a seat on the floor, watching him, “We should stay in here in case he wakes up and decides to steal something.”

You hoped he wouldn’t do that, but she had a point. 

“I’ll go grab some pillows...” you said, getting up. You returned with a couple of them and held one out to her, “Pillow?”

She took it without looking and put it under her butt. You decided to take a seat on the floor by Lea’s legs, putting the pillow under you and leaning your shoulder against the couch. 

That warmth was humming within you, a little stronger now than it was before. It wasn’t uncomfortable like heartburn, it felt more like you were wrapped up in a heated blanket. It was peaceful, but urgent as you gazed quietly at the red hair hanging in a dirty tangle off the sofa. 

“He reeks.” Hibiki said with a curled lip.

You nodded, “He must’ve drunk a lot. I don’t know how long he was on the ground before I found him.”

“Stupid fuck.”

You shrugged. 

“Why’d you even bring him here?” She asked, leering at you.

“I couldn’t think of anything else to do.” You said sheepishly.

She shook her head, then returned to watching your surprise guest. 

You looked from one to the other, “Do you know him or something?”

“Nope, never seen him before.”

 _Then why are you looking at him like that?_ You wondered, but didn’t ask.

You tried to stay awake, even changed his washcloth a few times before you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. You dozed against the couch, and just as thought left you, it felt like someone was holding you in their arms, safe and warm.

* * *

Lea felt like he just got dunked in a tar pit; uncomfortable, grimy, gross, and a little sticky. His mouth tasted sour and putrid, his tongue felt dry. A headache was throbbing behind his eyes, and he groaned in pain. A hangover. It would pass in a few hours.

He opened his eyes, expecting to find himself in his bedroom, but the ceiling was unfamiliar. This wasn’t his bed. He tried to remember what happened that night, but it all came back foggy, he certainly didn’t remember getting home.

So… if he wasn’t home, then where the hell was he?

He bolted up, only for his headache to crack down his skull and his vision to swim dizzyingly. Something damp fell in his lap, and after his vision stilled he recognized it was a cloth. What was a wet washcloth doing on his face?

A familiar, dark sensation, like a cold drip of water going down his spine alerted him to another presence in the room. His eyes flew to a woman sitting cross-legged a few feet away from him, her eyes watching him darkly. She pulled her lips back to reveal inhumanly sharp fangs. 

But he didn’t recognize her, and now that he was aware of her, something was off. She wasn’t one of them, but the fact that he could feel _that_ , then –

“You’re awake!”

The other voice caught him off guard and his vision blurred once more when he flinched. After blinking it away, he immediately recognized you. Words weren’t quite coming to him, but his throat really did go dry when you smiled.

“I know it’s got to be scary waking up in a strange place, but please don’t worry. You’re safe.” You said with such earnestness he almost didn’t believe you.

After swallowing, he was finally able to ask, “What the fuck?”

You talked while waving your hands in the air, as if reenacting what happened, “I was driving when I saw you collapsed in the street. I couldn’t get into your phone to contact someone to get you, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I brought you here – my home.”

He stared at you for a long moment before gasping, patting his pockets for his phone and wallet, which were both still there. To say that his phone had blown up was an understatement, but by the looks of it the kids and Isa hadn’t been stupid enough to leave the apartment.

After pulling his chat with Isa up, he typed, _“Im fine be home soon.”_

To which Isa immediately replied, _“You made them cry for two hours straight. Where are you?”_

Rubbing his hand down his face, Lea looked around for a clock, “How long was I out? What time is it?”

You frowned and took out your phone, “I fell asleep… It’s two in the morning.”

He cursed, but the second he made to stand, he felt the woman’s burning glare. He paused, making eye contact with the stranger, and felt sufficiently threatened. But, she hadn’t made a move to stop him, it felt more like a warning than anything.

He refused to look away until his feet were on the floor and he was standing, only wobbling for a moment. “I gotta go.” He grumbled, stumbling a little as he tried to find the exit.

You got up, “Let me drive you.”

“’M fine.” He took a few steps and his shins hit the coffee table.

Before he met the floor, you were there, steadying him, “I’ll drive you.” You repeated, firmly this time. Then, you paused, cocking your head to the side. One of your hands was resting just below his chest, “You still feel warm. Are you sick?”

It was the first time he touched you, and it felt like something clicked into place, if just for a brief moment, before he pulled away from you.

“I’m fine.” He pushed his hair out of his face with a grimace. “You don’t have to do me any favors.”

You huffed softly, “It’s not a favor. I’m just helping.” You went to the counter and grabbed your keys, “I’ll be back.” You said to Hibiki, who only nodded silently, her eyes boring holes into the back of Lea’s head.

After opening the door, Lea didn’t offer much protest as you led him down the stairs, slowly so that he wouldn’t trip and fall. When he was in the car, he had his phone out and was typing as best as he could with the light in his face while also giving you directions.

_“I was just out”_

_“Out and not answering our calls? You’re an idiot. What happened?”_

_“Its fine”_

_“Are you on your way back?”_

_“Yea”_

_“Good. And we’re not done talking about this. I would think you’d be more responsible, especially after what happened yesterday.”_

Lea groaned, his chin tucked against his collar bone.

You glanced at him from the corners of your eyes, “Are you okay?”

He scoffed, “Just fine.” Then pointed at a street sign, “Take a right up there.”

The drive was full of uncomfortable silence, but it wasn’t long. You pulled in front of a mid-size complex and he shuffled out. But before he closed the door, he sighed and poked his head in.

“Thanks for not leaving me on the curb.”

You nodded, giving him a small smile, “Of course.”

The corners of his lips pulled up in a brief, tight grin before he gently shut the door and watched you pull away.

He sheepishly glanced up at the windows, even though he knew their apartment faced the other way. He was in a shit ton of trouble. Then, he smacked himself in the face, which only served to make his headache feel like he was being beaten with monkey cymbals.

_Where’d I leave the car?!_

* * *

You entered your home to find Hibiki sitting on the couch, seemingly lost in thought.

“Thank you for staying up.” You said apologetically.

She glanced at you from the corner of her eyes before waving it off. “It’s whatever.”

You wiped your face and eyes, exhaustion tugging on your limbs, “Goodnight.”

“Wait.”

Blinking away the sleep, you turned around to face her.

She was staring at you with the same intensity she had been staring at Lea. “Where did you meet that guy?”

You shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck, and explained your short adventure the day before, “Why?”

After a long moment, she just shook her head, “It’s nothing.” She got up, and made to walk past you, but stopped when you were shoulder to shoulder, “Just… be careful.” then went into her room, leaving you confused and slightly alarmed.

“’Kay…?” With nothing else stopping you, you went in your room and stripped down and into your pajamas and promptly fell onto your bed. Despite Hibiki’s weird warning, you couldn’t, and, frankly, didn’t want to dwell on it. You fumbled blindly for your sheets, pulling them up to your chin and you were out like a light.

* * *

Unfortunately for Lea, it would be a while until he could go to bed.

Isa, Roxas, and Xion were anxiously waiting for him in the living room, all in their sleep clothes. The moment he opened the door the two teenagers launched at him. It would have been very endearing if they hadn’t punched him in the stomach. Not hard, but the message was delivered loud and clear.

Lea sputtered, holding his gut, _“What was that -“_ then he saw their faces.

Their eyes were red and their cheeks were wet from crying. Apparently, Isa hadn’t being overdramatic about that.

“That wasn’t funny, Axel!” Roxas yelled, wiping his face, “What were you doing?!” 

Xion didn’t bother with stopping the tears running down her face, “Why didn’t you tell us you were okay?! We were scared! We thought they -“ Her face folded in on itself and another sob rocked out of her. She covered her face with her hands and turned away from him.

He had only seen them cry once before, the same day he knew he both wanted and needed to help them. It was still shocking, even as he watched it happen before his eyes, knowing their true nature.

Ignoring his stomach and headache, he put his hands on their shoulders, “I’m sorry, I -“ But the rest of his sentence got stuck in his throat when they leaned into him. Their foreheads pressed against his chest and air rushed out of him as if they had hit him again.

His arms slowly wrapped around their shoulders. It had been a long, long time since he held anyone like that.

“I’m…” He croaked, “I’m sorry.”

Quiet, unsteady steps approached them and Lea looked up to see Isa standing behind the kids. The skin around his eyes were green and purple like bruises. He raised his open hand and Lea prepared himself for a sharp sting on his cheek, but it didn’t come. Instead, the front of his shirt was bunched up in Isa’s weak fist.

“Don’t do that again.” He whispered, “What would we do if you suddenly disappeared?” He tried to shake him, but it was like a puff of wind, “You’re all we have. We can’t do this without you.”

Lea ducked his head in shame, only to be met with Roxas and Xion’s tear stained faces.

He knew. He was the only one who could protect them. They couldn’t trust anyone else. 

“I know.” He said quietly, “I’ll be better from now on.”

Xion frowned deeply at him and smacked his side lightly, “We don’t want better! We want _you_. Safe.” She brought her hands up to his chest and leaned against him again, “We just want you here with us.”

Roxas was never as forward with his emotions as his sister was, but he nodded, grabbing and shaking Lea’s arm, “So don’t do that again, okay? You promised we’d stay together.”

A little noise choked out of Lea as he tried to digest what they were saying. Lost, he turned his wide eyes to his oldest friend.

But Isa only gave him a tiny smile, “If you go get yourself drunk again, at least let one of us know.”

Despite the burning behind his eyes, Lea returned the grin, “Okay, mom.”

* * *

* * *

Deep in dreams of clouds and descents, you wept tears that weren’t your own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Munny is hard  
> Also if you're wondering why the pic is so pixelated ao3 only likes pics that are 500 px or less so...


	3. The One Winged Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You both make a little progress, you with a friend and him with his finances. Then, you find yourselves at The One Winged Angel, where sin meets heaven.  
> And he saw you throw munny at him. You're going to have an aneurysm.
> 
> NSFW chapter with an NSFW picture!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Winged Angel Playlist can be found here! Go ahead and play it when the music starts  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUS2qy3rdeBL8xSbG9w9Ake48IrZV-tgz  
> Thank you honeyishtar for being my beta and writing my favorite sour grape!

Lea was sitting on the floor in front of their thrift store sofa, cradling a mug of sweetened coffee in his hands. The hangover had long passed, but even after some sleep and a shower he still felt tired and gross. 

He had taken a peak into his wallet that morning to gauge the damage and found it to be an astronomical fuck up. It must’ve been a good night for the bar, but it was a terrible night for Lea and his poor, empty wallet. He didn’t even get the _good_ kind of drunk.

The coffee was still hot, but the scalding temperature didn’t bother him. He took a long pull and tried to think of how to break the news to Isa.

Roxas entered the living room to go into the kitchen, then returned with a mug of coffee of his own. “Morning.” He yawned, taking a seat on the sofa, his legs dangling beside Lea.

“Morning.”

“Xion fell off the bunk again.”

That got a chuckle out of Lea, only to remember that they wouldn’t be falling off if the squeaky, old bunk bed wasn’t missing its rails. “Was she okay?”

“Yeah, just scared the hell out of us.” He laughed quietly, “She made a noise, hold on, let me try...” Then he took a deep breath, paused, then made a short, shrill, guttural noise that started in the back of his throat before swiftly becoming a shriek. 

Lea burst into laughter, setting his mug aside before he spilled it on himself. 

“It’s not funny!”

Xion was standing in the mouth of the hallway, glaring at them, but it was obvious she was trying hard not to smile.

“It was hilarious and you know it!” Roxas said with a jab of his finger.

Despite trying to keep a straight face, her glower cracked open into a smile, “Fuck off!”

“Did Lea teach you that language?”

Isa appeared behind her, wrapped up in a fleece blanket, his expression one of amused disapproval. 

She gave him a smile that was only a little sorry. 

He rolled his eyes and shuffled towards the kitchen to grab some coffee of his own. The other three immediately shared a look before watching him exit with a steaming mug. He gently lowered himself onto the couch on the other side of Lea. That’s when Lea noticed the steady shiver hidden under the blanket. 

Isa held the mug in both hands and brought it to his mouth for a sip, only to immediately make a face, but he brought the steaming drink to his chest for warmth and sighed.

“Are you feeling okay?” Roxas asked, “Saix?”

Forcing a small smile, he nodded slightly, “I’ll be fine.” When the silence lingered, he added, “I’m just cold.”

Xion blinked, then rounded the couch and hopped over the back. “Excuse me.” Then brought her knees and legs up before they could hit Lea and leaned onto Isa’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around his torso below his arms. “Better?”

He went stiff as a board, then, slowly relaxed. Though Xion and Roxas weren’t known for being particularly warm, he said, “Yes, thank you.”

She grinned, snuggling in, but it fell as she felt him trembling under the blanket. She held him tighter and closed her eyes.

Lea watched with soft, mournful eyes before returning to his coffee. The news could wait, at least for a little bit.

* * *

You walked out of your room, having slept in late. It’s not like you had work or anything to worry about that day. A warm, sweet, slightly spicy smell drifted out from the living room and your mouth immediately watered. It was Hibiki cooking, and you almost went back into your room so you wouldn’t feel compelled to ask for a bite of whatever it was, but before you could you heard:

“Do you want some?”

Wondering if you heard that right, you peaked your head around the hallway corner, “What?”

She was standing at the stove in front of two frying pans, wearing an apron. She looked at you over her shoulder, “I asked if you wanted some breakfast.”

You stared at her, then at the pans. _Duh._ “You don’t mind?”

She raised an eyebrow at you in mild annoyance, “Do you want some or not?”

You jumped, “Yes! Yes, please.”

You nervously went to the island dividing the kitchen from the living room and peaked over Hibiki’s strong shoulders. In one pan were apple slices simmering in a syrup of its own juices, sugar, and spices. In the other was a fluffy pancake speckled with vanilla bean and cinnamon. There was a plate of more of them beside her.

“It smells delicious.” You said.

She gave a quiet huff of laughter, “I figured.”

You waited patiently until she plated you a few pancakes and poured the apples and syrup over it, straight out of the pan. She put it on the island in front of you with a knife and fork. You picked them up and began to eat while standing.

She set her plate on the other side of the island, watching you expectantly as she ate.

Just as you suspected, it was absolutely wonderful. Warm, sweet, light. It brought a smile to your face.

“It’s so good.” You mumbled around your mouthful, then swallowed, “Where’d you learn to cook?”

“My mom.” She said, taking a bite, “She taught me everything. Honestly, she’s better at it than me.”

“If she can do better than this I might die if I ever get a taste of it.”

She cracked a lopsided grin.

After a few more bites, the silence dragged on. You nearly let it stay that way, but yesterday reminded you of that feeling of drowning, and you wanted desperately to stay afloat. “So, uh, where’s your mom? Does she live in town?”

After casting a sideways glance at you, she shook her head, “Nah, she’s in San Fransokyo. West coast.”

Considering you were between the east coast and mid-continent, that was a long-ways away, “Oh, far away from the invasion, then.” You said without thinking, then immediately regretted it when her expression darkened. “Sorry, uh,” you looked away, putting down your fork. “that was… insensitive. Sorry.”

She didn’t respond, only shoved more food in her mouth.

You put your hands in your lap and stared at your half-eaten breakfast, feeling guilty. Of course that was a stupid thing to say.

The invasion had been going on for just under three years now. The Heartless didn’t move fast, but they were efficient. It was only a few days ago when the news said that the entire east coast was overrun. If no one could stop them, then it would only be a matter of time before the entire continent was taken over.

“You say sorry too much.”

You picked your head up and looked at her, “Sorry?”

She gave you a pointed glare, “Stop saying it.”

 _Easier said than done._ You tripped over another sorry, immediately wanting to apologize for that sorry, and just settled for saying nothing at all.

You didn’t see her lips twitch and her eyes close shut. She’d never been good at this, communicating with people. And she knew you for, what? A month or two? And she’d barely said anything to you before now. Even when you were kind enough to let her, a complete stranger, stay in your apartment when she was jobless and broke. She knew this situation was temporary, she knew she was going to leave town as soon as she had the means to, but… she also didn’t want to leave with you thinking she was ungrateful or that she didn’t like you. Especially when you’d been nothing but nice to her, though closed off.

She figured you didn’t have many friends. You didn’t stay out late, you didn’t spend hours on the phone. It got her wondering if you were in the same boat as her; stuck, unable to connect with others, alone. And, maybe, she didn’t want to be that way anymore.

Then, there was the deal with the definitely-not-trustworthy likely-not-human man that you brought home last night. She was not into that at all, especially if you were involved.

She cleared her throat, “Do you have work today?”

You shook your head, “Nope.”

“Good, me neither.” She saw the pieces of untouched food on your plate, “Do you… wanna play video games?”

Your brows drew close, but only slightly. You wondered why she was suddenly taking an interest, but that wasn’t a bad thing, right? “Sure.” You said, picking up your fork again now that you figured she wasn’t mad at you.

“Great. Let’s play that Last Dream game.”

“That’s… single-player. Do you want to take turns?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Okay.”

She gave you a tentative smile and you both returned to your breakfast.

* * *

Lea waited until the kids went to their room to find something to do before stopping Isa from going back to bed.

“Hey, I’ve got some bad news.”

Isa, standing by the hallway, stopped immediately, “What?”

He took a deep breath, “I spent all my munny on shots last night.”

There was a pause, “You did _what?_ ”

He winced, “I spent… all the munny on shots. And I also left the car somewhere.”

No words could come to Isa as he gaped at his idiot friend. He definitely tried to say something, but it just got stuck in his throat. Instead, he shook his head and tried not to devolve into biting Lea’s head off.

“That was stupid of me.”

Isa glared, “Yes.” Before the silence could drag on, he asked, “What are you going to do?”

“Get a job. What else?”

It took him a moment, but Isa eventually remembered something that Lea had mentioned before, “Wasn’t it hard enough to get the apartment without any prior history? Would a job be any different?”

Sadly, Lea nodded, “I’ll figure something out, okay?”

Isa carefully brought his blanket in closer, already losing what little energy he had just by standing on his own two feet. “I – I’d help – “

“I know you would.” Lea said, wanting to reach out, but not sure how after so long, “I’ll handle it. You just…” keep sleeping? keep fighting? keep trying to save yourself when he’s trying to take everything you are from the inside out? “take care of yourself.”

With a barely-there smile, Isa went to his room, leaving Lea in the living room.

He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. The sooner, the better. But, like Isa said, humans liked people with tangible histories. To the world, Lea didn’t exist until three short months ago. He could find somebody who could fabricate all of that, but that required munny he had been growing steadily short on and was now completely gone. The only reason he hadn’t done it sooner, gotten a job sooner, was the fear of leaving behind an easily followed paper trail, and the constant supervision that the other three needed.

He took a deep breath and went to Roxas and Xion’s bedroom. The door was left open, and the two of them were pulling out notebooks and colored pencils from their backpacks. The notebooks had a healthy level of wear and tear on them, he’d need to get them some new ones soon.

Xion flipped to a blank page, the back of the one next to it covered in little doodles. Some featured a familiar boy in red and a girl in purple and pink accompanied by orbs of green and blue. The largest drawing was of a girl in all white. 

Roxas had similar pictures, also featuring the boy, but this time accompanied by a boy in blue, sometimes drawn in black.

Lea knew what these pictures meant. They were still having dreams about him, the boy who’s darkness they were born from. The boy Lea had both helped and hindered, was it really almost a year ago? And the girl in white, who he let escape. Where was she now? Reconstructing the boy’s heart, helping his friends protect him so that the world could have one measly chance?

He knocked on the open door, “Hey. I’m going out, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Text me if you need anything, alright?”

They nodded and asked that he be safe. He grabbed his jacket on the way out.

First, he had to find the car. Then he’d worry about the job. Good thing he wasn’t human or he’d be winded by the time he found his way to the damn thing, just up the street from the bar he made about fifty mistakes in.

Just as he was taking out his keys, he took a look down the quiet road. There wasn’t any foot traffic, and after just a moment he could see why. This was the night district; it was lined with bars of various levels of clubs, and by the looks of some of the dark neon, gentlemens clubs.

A lone pedestrian pulled into a small parking lot and entered a mid-sized building. The sign above it had a slim angel wing in neon. Over it in loopy letters read: One Winged Angel.

He would have got in the car if that person hadn’t come right out and taped something onto the window. What he knew about the human world, sometimes establishments put out help wanted signs in their windows, right? Worth a shot to check it out.

The guy had gone back inside by the time he came to the window. Sure enough, there was a large poster that said: DANCERS WANTED! Exotic Dancers Needed for 6 P.M. – 1 A.M. Shift! Must be 18 Years or Older to Apply, Dance Experience Preferred! All Genders Welcome!

Next to it was a wide, very well-done poster with silhouettes of both a naked man and a woman.

THE ONE WINGED ANGEL

An Adult Club for All

Take a Look at Our Naughty Devils and We Promise You’ll See Heaven

OPEN

6:30 P.M – 12:30 A.M

Underneath was a list of weekly events and services they offered.

He crooked a smile at the irony, but he definitely had experience in the area, and he’d probably have fun with it. It certainly didn’t ask for any previous job experience, at least. There was even an Amateur's Night event on Thursdays.

He knocked on the door and put his hands in his pockets, rocking on the back of his heels until the door opened. A woman edging towards middle age with dark hair pulled into a bun and heavy-lidded eyes sized him up.

“We’re closed.”

“I know.” He grinned, exerting a bit of his charming influence, “I’m here about the job.”

Her thick eyebrows lifted up, glancing at the window where it was posted, obviously reminded that she had only just put it up. But she blinked the thought away and straightened her back, her eyes crawling down his body, then back up again.

“Can you dance?”

“I can.”

“On the pole?”

“Of course.”

She lifted her chin and studied his handsome face, then nodded, “Come in.”

* * *

You watched Hibiki play Last Dream like any common father would watch a football game. She was in the middle of duking it out with a huge demon, who was trying very hard to kick her ass into oblivion.

“Maybe… grind and come back?” You said, watching it’s fist smash a party member into a pancake.

She grumbled, but then the demon let loose an attack that wiped out the whole party and she was left with reloading from the last save, out of the cave full of over-levelled terrors.

“Fuck.” She growled, “Where’s that infinite spawn place?” She brought up the map, “Where do I go before I fuckin’ throttle someone?”

You opened your phone and looked it up, “It’s by that big lake right over there.”

She grunted and fast travelled. “I’m gonna get ten levels and kick that piece of horned jerky’s ass.”

You couldn’t hide your snort, “You know, I don’t think I even finished this game.”

“You can if you want. I didn’t erase your save file.”

You grinned tightly, remembering that you were halfway through the final mission before you got tired and decided to pick it up later. Only it had been sitting there for months, now. You felt a little guilty, especially since you probably forgot how to play it. And you were nearly at the final boss past the point of no return. That was going to be fun.

With a sigh, she passed the controller to you, “I need a snack.”

You both ended up playing it until nighttime. You yawned into your fist and checked the time.

“Aw crap, I got to go to bed.” You got up and stretched, “Early shift tomorrow.”

“Alright.” She picked up where you stopped, and chewed on her tongue for a second, “Let’s play more when you get back from work tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

And you did. That was how the next few days went, with Hibiki sometimes making meals for two and playing video games together on the couch. Maybe by the third or fourth day you started looking forward to it. She still didn’t talk much about herself, nor did she ask too many questions about you, but the conversations came easy enough with time.

After one exceptionally obnoxious day at work, you fell onto the couch and threw an arm over your eyes with a groan. The late afternoon light fell through the curtains, warming your skin. You sighed wearily.

You were still there when Hibiki returned from her shift. “I need a drink.” You said with a grimace.

She walked over to the back of the couch and looked down at you, silent. Then, she shrugged, “Alright, let’s go.”

You had almost expected an argument or a refusal, but you were glad that she agreed. You swung your legs off the sofa.

“Let me change.”

“Meet you out the door in ten.”

After freshening up and changing clothes, you grabbed your keys and found Hibiki out in the hallway. She gave you a grin, and you could’ve sworn you saw fangs, but it was probably just your imagination.

She thumped your shoulder, “I already got us a ride. Let’s get fuckin’ wasted.”

* * *

You got out of the lift and found yourselves in what was commonly known as the NightLight District, the same street you found Lea collapsed on the road. Neon lit the entire street from top to bottom and there were lines of people outside the popular clubs and groups walking up and down the sidewalk.

Hibiki grabbed your arm and pointed at a sort of hole-in-the-wall joint, “That’s the only place here that serves sake. C’mon.”

And that’s how you ended up toasted, wobbling slightly out of the bar an hour later. Hibiki didn’t seem nearly as affected as you were despite drinking almost twice as much as you did.

She smirked at you from the corner of her eyes, “Need to go home?”

“No, I’m okay.” You cleared your throat, “I can still walk a straight line.”

She shoved her hands in her pockets, “What do you want to do now?”

You looked up and down the street, “Let’s just walk that way.”

She shrugged, “Okay.”

With a little exercise in your system, your mind started to clear. Not much, but a little. In a few minutes you saw a sign hanging over a door that caught your eye.

“One Winged Angel?” You mumbled, “What’s that?”

You followed Hibiki to the poster in the window.

“It’s a strip club.” She appraised the sign, “And caters to _both_ of my tastes.” She then raised an eyebrow at you.

“Oh, hell yeah.”

With a grin that bordered on feral, she looped her arm in yours and entered the club with you in tow.

In front was a small waiting room with a rough looking woman wearing all black standing beside a pair of doors. Behind a podium was a sweeter looking woman wearing a very low cut, pink dress. She wore a pair of angel wings and devil horns to finish the ensemble.

“Hello!” She greeted with a grin, “It’s fifteen munny per patron!”

You both handed some paper munny and she counted it before saying, “The One Winged Angel wants everyone to have a safe and enjoyable experience, including our devils. For that reason, please keep your hands to yourselves unless tipping or given consent. Also, to ensure our devil’s security, no photography or video is allowed inside. There’s a bar along the back wall, and I doubt you’ll miss the main stage. If you’re looking for something quieter, there’s seats and tables closer to the walls. One of our devils will come see you there. And, most importantly,” she added with a wink, “have fun!”

The other woman opened the doors for you and music that was muffled before got louder. It wasn’t party club loud, not bad enough that you couldn’t hear yourself think, but just loud enough to make things exciting.

You stepped into the large room and swallowed. There was definitely a theme; the room was dimly lit, especially around the stage in the middle, but pink and red tinted lights glowed serenely in the corners and along the walls, glowing against the plush seats and white tables that sat there. Some were taken by solitary people, drinking and watching the dancers and others were full of groups of friends chatting and whistling away. Everything was backlit by soft lights, most in red, but along the back wall was a long bar that was painted in gentle blue light. Like hell in velvet and clouds of marble.

However, the main attraction was obviously the stage that ran through the middle of the room, meeting the right wall, parted only by a velvet curtain. The stage’s floor was built entirely of square mood lights, creating a tile effect. Through the floor and to the ceiling were five poles in total, each with its own dancer. Many of the patrons surrounded it on both sides, some parts of the crowd were denser than others depending on the one dancing.

The dancers were, of course, in varying states of undress and gender. The ones on the poles were mostly in tighter sets of lingerie, some in softer colors like violet and white, and others in dark red and black. One in particular caught your eye, the dancer that had the thickest crowd.

Music bounced off the walls, loudest at the stage and quieter near the walls where you and Hibiki stood. It wasn’t obnoxious, and as you listened to one song switch to another, you could tell the genres were a little varied.

Hibiki hummed, obviously pleased, glancing at a soft, pretty man that sashayed by. “I like it.”

You grinned yourself, nodding to the stage, “I wanna know who those guys are looking at.”

She eyed the crowd and nodded. Together, you made your way down the room towards the second dancer from the right. As you got closer, however, you started to wonder if you had seen the man before or if your drinks were tricking you.

Then, just a few feet away from the edge of the crowd, Hibiki swore.

The dancer was lean and lithe, his toned muscles moved and flexed with every seductive twist of his body, highlighted by the red lights from below. His hips were generous and wide, and when he threw a leg in the air, you could see the perfect curve of his ass. Long red hair cascaded off his shoulder in luxurious waves, and his green eyes were dark, accompanied by a smug, lecherous grin.

“Holy fuck.” You murmured, feeling heat pool in your groin.

It was Lea. Wearing very, very little. It was an entirely black little two piece. The top was something resembling a corset, fitting snugly against his ribs under his pecs. The bottoms were booty shorts of the same material, the sides open and held together by crisscrossing string. Underneath he wore fishnets, and finally, high heeled boots that came up to his knees that made his legs look divine. When he looped his knees around the pole, you saw that the soles were red.

“What is he doing _here?"_ Hibiki hissed.

“I dunno.” You said dumbly, watching raptly as he spread his legs.

People were clapping and shouting their praises, wads of munny were thrown onto the stage. It was obvious what everyone thought of him, and, well…

You pulled out your wallet and grabbed your last couple dollars, not even bothering to check what bills they were. You didn’t want them to fall short, so you balled them up and threw it the best you could. It soared over the crowd and right in front of Lea’s face, him being upside down. He watched it land onto the stage, then immediately followed its trajectory to you.

The moment his eyes met yours, you yelped and jumped behind Hibiki, who was openly glaring. Oh, shit, oh shit, he saw you. He saw you throw money at him while he was sexy dancing on the pole. And he knew you. You were going to have an aneurysm. _Shit._

Hibiki clicked her tongue and grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the stage and towards one of the empty spots near the wall. She pushed you into a loveseat and said, “I’m getting some alcohol. You stay.”

When she was gone, you put your head in your hands and cursed everything in the whole world. You were mortified, and maybe you didn’t need to be, but you couldn’t help it. Something about the way his eyes had honed in on you reminded you of a predator finding its prey. Like he was going to eat you alive, and you would be all too willing to let him.

 _He’s too sexy! I hate this!_ You screamed behind your hands. The way he sinuously wrapped himself around the pole was still all too fresh in your mind – you were too turned on for this.

The dull _thunk_ of glass hitting the table popped you out of your misery. Hibiki sat beside you, sipping on her _smirnoff_. The one in front of you was one of your favorite simple cocktails and you immediately took a drink.

“I’m never going to be able to look him in the eyes again…” You whined, watching him finish his dance with enthusiastic applause from the crowd.

She huffed, “It’s not like you see him every day.”

“I knooooww.” You sniffed and took another sip, “But if I _do_ I won’t be able to handle it!”

Her eyes tracked him as he left through the curtain and only relaxed when he wasn’t in sight. Her back hit the plush booth seat and she shook her head, “Big deal, it’s not like you saw his cock or anything.”

“Yes, but I kinda wanted to! _And he saw me!_ ”

She patted your back, “And you gave him some cash. That’s kinda the point of strip clubs, kid.”

She had a point, of course she did. You were just very embarrassed. You took a deep breath, sighed, and continued to drink in silence.

Until, of course, _of course_ , the very man you made a fool of yourself for walked out of a side door and made a beeline for your table. You didn’t notice at first until Hibiki looked up and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, for _fuck’s sake._ "

“What?” You asked, turning your head, then your eyes went wide. He was walking towards you, still in that skimpy outfit and heels. People were slipping bills into his shorts as he passed by, getting a smile or a wink in return. Your face was as red as his hair, it had to be.

He finally stood with a hand on his hip, looking down at you with an amused grin. You were going to die. You were going to die right then and there. “So, what are you doing here?”

Hibiki glowered at him, “Trying to enjoy ourselves, clearly. What does it look like, fuckwit?” Emphasis on _trying_.

You tried to find anywhere that was safe to look and eventually focused on the side of his face, but not before you met his eyes. He cocked his head to the side, his eyelids lowering. The lights reflected off his irises, something in them glowed bright red, piercing straight through you.

Your chest tightened and you pressed your legs together, trying so hard not to be obvious but no doubt failing.

He gave Hibiki a smartass smile and slipped into the booth beside you and you nearly combusted. “Last time I checked this wasn’t a small town. So, how is it that we keep running into each other like this?” He asked, leaning towards you with his chin on his hand.

You tried not to choke, “I – I – I – dunno, uh – “

He chuckled, a low, rich sound that made the hairs on your neck stand on end, “I’m teasing. Relax.” He sat back and pulled the munny out of the tight shorts and started counting them, “Thanks, by the way.” He looked straight into you out of the corner of his eye, his smile dangerous, “For the kind tip.”

You blanched, “Was it too little? It was all I had on me – “

His smile only grew, “It was plenty.” After thumbing through the bills, he stuffed them into his top with a satisfied smile.

* * *

When Lea had noticed you in the crowd, he couldn’t stop that little thrill that went up his spine he got whenever he was the subject of lust. It made this job so much fun, but the kindle he felt in his stomach burned hotter when he saw you. And that was way more interesting than anything else at the time.

Of course he recognized you, he didn’t get blackout drunk. And he knew your name, and he knew your voice, and at the time he wanted to know what you looked like without your clothes.

When you hid behind the woman he had to laugh. If you and he were anywhere else, he would’ve pounced and teased you until you were a mess, but sadly, no. He was at work and jumping into the crowds to whisk away one patron was frowned upon.

Thing was, he hadn’t been particularly attracted to you when you first met. But again, he hadn’t been attracted to anyone for a while; too much going on, too much stress. Maybe it was the environment, the heady scent of arousal all around him, the pent-up lust directed at him, the knowledge that you wouldn’t stab him in the back the moment he turned that made him drop his guard if just a bit.

He always had been so sensitive to those emotions; desire, want. And when he was the subject of said desires? He could get high off of them. Forgetting himself in the need for their attention, getting drunk off their affection. He had been a good boy so far, professional, but something about your eyes on him, dark with want, made him almost dizzy.

And, oh, you were so _cute._ So turned on you didn’t know what to do with yourself, he could smell it. He had half expected for those embers to die down after getting off the stage, but they were still burning with him sitting next to you, almost thigh to thigh.

What did it mean? If this ever happened before, he couldn’t remember. Maybe it was the potency of your arousal? How long had you been celibate? Or did it mean you would be an especially good lay? He’d be willing to find out if it meant you’d make him burn all over like this, but…

That cold drip running down his spine told him that would be a lot easier said than done. The woman on the other side of you wasn’t interested in him or hiding her aggressive suspicion. Which, if she could sense him just like he could sense her, was valid. Still, it was killing the mood.

And now he was stuck between two things: wanting to figure out what exactly the feeling meant and finding out who exactly this purple bitch was.

Brought back to the moment, he watched you shift uncomfortably, “I gotta – “ You looked at him, flushed red, then asked for Hibiki to let you out. “Be right back.”

Well, it seemed that the choice had been made for him. But before he could even open his mouth,

“Just what the _fuck_ are you?”

He blinked, “Excuse me?”

She leaned into his space, curling her fingers into a claw, her fingernails darkening. “I said. What. The _fuck. Are you?_ ”

He cast a cool glance over her, then at her hand, then at the sharp fangs she bared, “The better question is, what the fuck are you, little girl?”

She snarled, “That’s none of your fucking concern!”

“Then I don’t see what _I_ am is any business of yours.” He said with a cruel smile, completely unfazed.

She took a deep breath through her nose, her pupils shrinking into slits, “What do you want with Y/N?”

He shrugged, “Nothing, really. Just a fuck. Why?” He sniffed in her direction, “I don’t smell them on you. Unless you want them?”

She grimaced, “They’re my friend, you flaming flamingo.” Then, she leaned in closer, a low growl building in her throat, “And you’re a demon, aren’t you?”

He grinned, showing off his growing fangs. His pupils flashed red, “And if I am, then you – “ Then he closed his lips and turned his gaze to something over her shoulder, “You’re back.”

Hibiki flinched, quickly retracting her claws and shaking herself out of it. But before she could make an excuse for you both to leave, he got out of the booth and stretched.

“Back into the fray.” He sighed, “Enjoy your night.”

“Oh,” You said, watching him go, “Bye.”

It was enough for Hibiki to calm down and not drag you away immediately, but as soon as your drinks were finished you were heading out.

Before you could step out the door, the woman with the wings and horns waved, “Hold on!” You turned and she stepped around the podium and handed you a slip of paper. “From one of our devils.” She said with a wink.

You thanked her and waited until you were outside before opening it. It had a phone number on it and a name: Lea.

Hibiki looked up from ordering a lift from her phone, “Did that redheaded fuckwit _actually_ give you his fucking number?”

You blushed up to your ears.

She pressed her phone to her forehead, “Of _course_ he fucking did… I’m gonna throttle that bitch.”

You hid your burning cheeks in your hands and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar for helping with the lighting in that stripper lea picture!  
> Here's a little bonus picture that didn't really belong in the fic but i really wanted to draw it  
> https://artoutforblood.tumblr.com/post/615426999694098432/a-bonus-picture-for-my-leaself-insert  
> Also turns out that ao3 is fine with pics bigger than 500 px and i was lied to.


	4. Sea-Salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week since you went to the One Winged Angel, but you haven't called Lea. Of course, the world just keeps throwing you two at each other anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar for beta-ing!

Lea woke up feeling refreshed, as he often did after a night of hard work. Drinking in a night’s worth of attention could do wonders. He stretched languidly, happy to be in bed, then frowned when he found it empty. No, he hadn’t brought anyone home, not for a long time, so why was he –

Oh. Right.

Last night. You, that fire in his gut, the purple woman, and –

He stuffed his face into his pillow. _Why did I do that?_

He asked Beatrice to give you his number when you left. She probably did. Crap.

His phone lay charging on the floor beside his mattress. The screen was black, but he still turned it on with trepidation. And… nope. No new messages. He put it back on the floor, but as he stared at it, he wasn’t sure he was happy. He should be, right? You were practically a stranger. A nice stranger, a helpful stranger… but a stranger all the same.

With a groan, he rolled over on his side, away from his phone, towards the window. The late morning sun slid through the opening of the curtains, not quite reaching him. 

A quiet sigh filled the room as he stuffed his hand under his pillow, barely able to see the skyline over the lip of the window sill. He reached out with his other hand, but his fingers couldn’t touch it. Shutting his eyes, he let his arm fall back onto the mattress.

* * *

Being hungover sucked. 

You laid flat on your back, glaring at the ceiling. At least you didn’t have work that day, so you could suffer in peace. 

You shut your eyes and groaned. Last night was a little blurry, but not enough for you to forget the way Lea looked in those shorts, and the fact that his phone number was in the pocket of your pants somewhere on the floor. 

He had probably just been teasing or acting flirty because it was his job, and it’s not like you were desperate for a booty call, but you... kind of did want to text him. You weren’t in a hurry, but that feeling like you had known him from somewhere had become very insistent, as did this _other_ in your heart. 

There wasn’t a name for this warmth that laid beside and within you, but you weren’t stupid, you knew it wasn’t normal. But it didn’t sound like an illness, it didn’t feel like an illness, it felt... good. Maybe not quite right, but good. Less alone.

Whatever it was, it felt like it had a personality. It would go quiet for a while, like it was resting, but when it was awake it was, in a word, mischievous. Sometimes it felt like it was bouncing around, or there’d be a happy tickle, or it would just smile. Then, in moments when you felt sorry for yourself, like you were about to drown again, it felt like someone was holding you, and you could almost hear humming. You knew it couldn’t be alive, but sometimes you had to wonder.

Finally, and maybe one of the stranger things about it, whenever you dwelled on it you remembered your fall. You had no idea why, but it had to be important. 

As if it knew you were thinking of it, it seemed to dance around before squeezing, its embrace happy and warm, and maybe a little smarmy; like it knew it was only making your stomach hurt more.

You touched the spot over your heart, “Stoppppp.”

There was that humming again, like laughter, then it let go, still hanging around beside your heart.

You sighed, tracing circles on your chest, still staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t want to get up.”

The warmth glowed a little more, as if it were listening.

You didn’t say anything for a little while, “I don’t know if I’m going crazy or if you’re an actual thing. Am I just that lonely that I made you up?”

It paused for a second, then it felt like your chest got smacked with a hot water bottle.

You grimaced, “That proves nothing.”

There was a knock on your door, interrupting your thoughts. Hibiki’s voice spoke through the door.

“I’ve got fruit salad and tea to help that hangover. C’mon.”

You groaned like a creaky floorboard.

“No whining. Take a shower.”

You groaned again. The _other_ hummed happily.

* * *

After a hot shower and a new change of clothes, you sat on the couch, slowly eating Hibiki’s fruit salad and sipping green tea. No matter how you felt about the stuff, it did help with the stomachache. She was sitting at the other end of the couch with a bowl in her lap.

The T.V. was on, but the volume was low and the curtains were drawn. Hibiki was quiet beside you, watching the screen with mild interest. There was that warmth beside your heart. A slow smile pulled at your lips.

* * *

You were staring at the piece of paper for maybe the fiftieth time that week. It was crumpled and a little smudged, but still, you just couldn’t bring yourself to text him. For good reason, it wasn’t like he was exactly friendly with you in your first couple of encounters. Was this even his real number? Maybe it was a prank that they played on unsuspecting patrons.

Or, maybe you were overthinking it, and it really was just his phone number. But did you really want to call him under the implication you wanted to have sex? No, not really. You were kind of over it, to be completely honest. Yeah, he was hot, but you didn’t know him that well. And, again, he was none too friendly.

With a sigh, you put it on your bedside table, unable to throw it away.

You sat down heavily on your bed, turning your face toward the window. It was just a little after noon and the forecast said this would be the last nice day for a while. It was slightly cloudy and sunny with a beautiful blue sky, jacket weather. Tomorrow it would rain, then drop several degrees. It had been awhile since you went out, been coopt up with Hibiki playing video games for the past few days.

It would be the last nice day for a while…

With a hum, you shrugged out of the bed and got some shoes on, heading for the door.

* * *

Lea was lightly snoozing on the couch when he felt the comforting cold he had grown so fond of. Two pairs of feet stepped right up to him, but neither said anything. He frowned, but didn’t stir, waiting for one of them to do something.

There was the sound of someone turning around and the floorboards creaking –

His eyes snapped open, “If you sit on me, I _swear_ – “

Sure enough, Roxas was stepping away, cackling because that was exactly what he was going to do. Xion was laughing beside him. Little shits.

With a huff, Lea swung his legs over and onto the floor before he sat up, raising a brow at them, “Do you guys want something or are you just trying to disturb my nap?”

“We want to go for a walk.” Roxas said, “Outside.” As if he needed to clarify that.

Lea looked away for a second, out the window to the town, then back. “Why?”

“We’re tired.” Xion sighed, “We’ve been in here for months and have only gone out once.”

“When you got lost.”

“That’s why you should come with us.” She countered.

Roxas put his hands on his hips, “If I don’t get out of this apartment I’m going to lose my mind.”

Lea sighed out of his nose. He knew they’d get stir crazy eventually, but after that first panic about two weeks ago he had hoped there would be a little more time. The thought of them outside getting lost again, it made his fingers numb.

That being said, he’d been out several times to go to work, among other things, and so far everything had been okay. No sensations of ice cubes pressed between his shoulders, no living shadows, no amber eyes in the dark. He knew the consequences of getting too comfortable, but… it wasn’t fair to them to be held in the apartment forever.

“As long as you stick to me…” He said slowly, “Alright.”

They beamed and ran to their room then to the door, waiting impatiently for Lea to open it.

* * *

A flock of geese flew in a triangle over Twilight Town, honking back and forth amongst themselves. They were coming from the direction of the forest, headed south for the winter. The wind picked up for a moment, fresh and cool, before dying back down into a gentle breeze. With it carried the familiar scent of warmth that the town was known for, like cinnamon and sun on bricks.

You took a deep breath and sighed happily, stretching your hands to the clouds. It felt good to get outside. To enjoy the sunlight for a little bit. Maybe you could hit your favorite ice cream stand while you were out.

Continuing down to the Sandlot, you heard a familiar voice shouting out to you. At first you had no idea where it came from, but then another one joined it and you saw two teenagers waving at you from the back alley. Their names didn’t come to you for a second, but when they did, you found yourself smiling.

“Xion! Roxas!”

They glanced behind them before jogging towards you and you met them in the middle.

“Not lost again are you?” You asked half-seriously.

They shook their heads.

“We’re going on a walk.” Xion said, “Axel’s with us, so we’re okay.”

It took you a second, but when you looked over their heads and saw Lea standing in the mouth of the alley, it clicked.

“Lea?” You croaked, “Wh… Axel? Uh,”

The two tensed, but before they could speak, he strutted towards you.

“Just a nickname.” Lea waved off, “Not gonna tell you how I got it, though. It’s a secret.”

You grinned tightly, unsure of how to feel about yet another encounter with the man. This had the potential to get very awkward, but if he had any memory of that night in the One Winged Angel, he didn’t show it.

You put your hands in your pockets, “Alright…” Then, to the kids, “Nice day to be out. Where are you guys headed?”

They shrugged.

“We don’t know.” Roxas said, “Just looking, I guess.”

You hummed, gaze curving over to the street leading to the Tram Commons, weighing how much you felt like you wanted company. Couldn’t hurt to show them where to get the best ice cream, right? “Well, I’m going for some ice cream. We can go together if you want.”

They looked at each other, then back at Lea, who was scratching his head with a little frown directed at you. You didn’t know what he was thinking about, but staring at him, the _other_ burned a little more. Not angry, but impatient, as if it were crossing its arms and tapping its foot.

As for Lea, he didn’t know what to think. He thought you lost interest since you hadn’t called, but here you were, offering to treat them to ice cream as if it never happened in the first place. And why did that sting? It didn’t have any business hurting like that.

Besides, did Roxas and Xion even know what ice cream was? Would they eat it? But then he saw the hopeful expressions on their faces. They had no idea what you were offering, but was it the fact it was _you_ that made them want to go? Had you really made such an impression on them from one meeting?

Looking at your earnest face, he groaned internally. “Sure, why not.”

They smiled and turned to you and you nodded for them to follow you. “Have you ever had sea-salt ice cream?” You asked.

All of them looked at you like you grew a second head. You chuckled, “I know it sounds weird, but it’s good. Promise.”

The minute you stepped into the Tram Commons, they went stiff. It was a busy day, but that was a given. Still, their reaction made you pause. Especially when the three grouped together, watching the other pedestrians like they were going to get jumped.

You looked around, then rubbed your neck, “Not good in crowds, huh?”

The kids nodded and Lea narrowed his eyes. This set off some red flags, but you didn’t know for what.

Good thing you weren’t too fond of crowds when you were a kid either, but also too stubborn to go a hot day without some ice cream. You nodded towards the less-trafficked streets further from the central hub. “Let’s go this way. It’s a quieter route.”

Lea almost took them by the shoulders to keep them back, but even then he knew that was silly. He knew if you had wanted to hurt them you would have done so the first day you met. You had three separate occasions to turn on him, one of which he was utterly at your mercy. One time he gave you his phone number, something he was still kicking himself over, and nothing bad came out of it.

It would be a struggle, but he had to take the conscious step towards realizing you didn’t mean any harm. Especially when the kids obviously wanted to trust you.

With a nod, mostly to himself, he nudged them forward. Something about the relieved smile on your face made him want to smile himself. He shook himself out of it and followed close behind.

“What have you been doing?” Xion asked.

You hummed, “Playing video games, mostly. Besides work.”

“I heard of video games.” Roxas said and you had to wonder what he meant, but before you could ask he turned to Xion, “On the phone, when we were looking stuff up on Kingdompedia.”

“Oh, I didn’t see that.” She said, “What are video games?”

“They’re stuff you play with that tells a story, but you interact with it. But you need something to play it on, like,” He thought for a second, “um, something… station?”

“A… PlayStation?” You asked.

“That’s it!”

“Have you guys… you never heard of video games?”

Both shook their heads.

Lea looked like he swallowed a whole lemon, “We were poor growing up.” He explained quickly, “And they were home-schooled. Not a lot of social interaction.”

“Oh, right.” Xion said, as if just remembering that little fact.

You stared at them for a short moment before nodding and continuing your walk. “I was wondering how you guys are related, actually.”

Roxas brightened, “Xion and I are twins.”

You whipped your head around to look at one and the other. They looked nothing alike. Except… they had the same deep blue eyes, but that was it.

“They’re fraternal, of course.” Lea said, “Xion takes after dad and Roxas takes after mom. I was adopted.”

“Oh, right.” You were a little embarrassed. Of course fraternal twins were a thing, “So, how old are you?”

They paused for a moment, “Fifteen.” Roxas said with a smile.

 _These kids are weird._ You thought with a little pout. But, then again, you were much the same after you fell from the clocktower. Confused, bad memory. Sometimes you would forget where you were, even forgot your name once or twice. People would ask, and you would say… what was the name you said…

The therapist you met after the accident told you that memory problems like that were often related to trauma. Maybe something happened to them before. It would explain some things.

Xion stepped up to your side, “What video games do you play?”

“Oh, uh,” You said, then with their insistence, you explained the games you liked, which only made them ask about the stories. They were most interested in those parts, especially the ones where your choices affected the game.

“Can you play them with friends?” Roxas asked, “Like the kids outside who play together. Is it like that?”

“Some of them are multiplayer, yeah. But, Hibiki and I have been taking turns playing this game called Last Dream. She’s better at it then me, honestly.”

Xion cocked her head to the side, “Is she your… friend?”

You paused, unsure how to answer. It certainly felt like you were friends, but it had been so long since you had one you just weren’t sure anymore. “I think so.” You murmured, admittedly embarrassed by your own feelings and having to admit that in front of two teenagers and a grown adult.

Lea pursed his lips from behind you, “The purple-haired girl?”

“Yeah.”

He hummed low in his throat but otherwise didn’t comment.

“Do you know her, Axel?” Xion asked.

He shook his head, “Only met her twice, with Y/N.”

Roxas frowned at him and shoved his hands in his pockets, “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah. This path takes a little longer, but” you turned the corner and saw the ice cream stand just down the street, “there it is!”

Despite their open reservations about salty ice cream, you bought a popsicle for each of you. The children watched you closely as you peeled off the wrapper and threw it in the trash nearby and did the same themselves. You pretended not to notice them leering at you when you took a nibble.

Slowly, they took bites themselves, and it was your turn to watch as they slowly smiled.

“It’s salty. And sweet.” Roxas said, chewing the treat.

Xion nodded, instead letting it melt in her mouth, “It’s good.”

Lea was staring at them like they had just gone crazy, until they put him in the spotlight.

“Try it, Axel.” Xion urged.

He grimaced, but relented and took a bite himself. His brows knit together in confusion for a long moment before he said, “What the fuck?”

You started to laugh.

“No, I’m serious. Why is this actually good?”

You only laughed harder with the kids joining in. Despite himself, even Lea grinned.

“I’m glad you like it.” You smiled, and damn him, but it made his knees a little weak.

While licking her popsicle, Xion looked around, then up at the skyline where the clocktower stood over it all.

She gasped, “Can we go there again?”

You followed her line of sight and felt your expression fall just a little, “The clocktower?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, then to Roxas, “The view was so pretty. I want to go again.”

He nodded fervently in agreement, “Let’s go.”

Lea stared up at it with the ice cream in his mouth. There was something wistful in his expression, but also disgusted in the way he curled his lip. When you asked, he smoothed his expression passively.

“It’s nothing.” He said, “Just reminded me of something. We can go.”

“Oh? Of what?” Xion asked as you left for the tower, ice cream in hand.

He glanced at the back of your head, “Something before I met you guys.”

That got those two quiet and again. You were lost, but it wasn’t any of your business. So, you didn’t ask.

“I know a shortcut.” You said, “Shouldn’t take us long to get there.”

Roxas and Xion were a lot more animated than they were before. They were asking you questions about streets and shops and your work. Although, they were still skittish, often skirting around other pedestrians and flinching when doors opened. They would regroup around Lea like ducklings with their mother.

Lea himself was more composed, but when you glanced back you could see his narrow eyes dance around. Though he had his hands in his pockets, they were fists.

You had all finished your ice cream by the time you got to the tower, but that didn’t slow them down any. The moment you were at the top, they hurried to the ledge and grinned at the sprawling town below.

It was a bright afternoon, unlike the last two times you had been up there. The golden clouds rolled endlessly onward, the town’s signature red sunlight turned the sky a beautiful shade of violet. The wind picked up again and with it came the scent of a coming storm.

Xion and Roxas took seats on the ledge and waited for you to do the same. Lea took a seat beside Roxas, and before you could take a seat beside Xion, he patted the spot beside him. Though you had your reservations, you sat down. However, you were backed up against the wall, away from the open air.

“I really liked the ice cream.” Xion smiled, “We should get one for Saix. I wonder if he’ll eat it.”

“Saix?” You asked.

Lea waved his hand, “He’s my friend. Saix is a nickname, his name is Isa.”

“He’s sick,” Roxas added, ignoring Lea clearing his throat, “so he can’t leave the apartment.”

“Oh no.” You grimaced, “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. I hope he feels better soon.”

Xion ducked her chin, “Us too.”

After that, the conversation flowed easily. The kids would point at a random building or a flock of birds and ask questions which you answered to the best of your ability. Thankfully, you had the internet in your pocket at your disposal.

Roxas wanted to know about school, about games and vacation. Xion wanted to know about the sea, fairy tales, and the seasons. They wanted to know what people do in the day, what they did at night, about movies and friends. How do you make ice cream? Do they come in different flavors? Do you drink coffee? Where do you work and why?

Enough said, they were all odd questions. It was like they grew up in a bubble. You could feel Lea’s watchful gaze on you, gauging your reaction, but you kept yourself neutral.

“I want to go to the beach one day.” Xion said, looking far beyond the skyline, “I saw a picture of thalassa shells, I want to find one and keep it.”

Roxas leaned on his hands, “I want to go swimming.”

You put your hands in your lap and hummed, “Maybe one day you can go to the beach.”

“Will you go with us?”

You blinked, turning to Roxas, “Me?”

He nodded and Xion joined him, “You, Roxas, Axel, Saix, and me.”

You glanced at Lea, but he had his face turned away from you, busy staring at them. “I – why me?”

Roxas shrugged, “Why not?”

A small, disbelieving laugh burst out of you, “We… hardly know each other.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to hang out more.” Roxas said with a big grin, then at Lea, his smile sharper, “Right, Axel?”

Lea didn’t say anything for a second, then his chin dipped, “Yeah.”

The _other_ bounced in anticipation and joy, you blamed your smile on that. “Alright.”

He turned around to look at you, his green eyes wide. The sun dipped behind his hair, a head of fire against a halo of gold. He was staring at you like he didn’t know what you were, something strange, but surprising. Something he couldn’t quite place.

The _other_ danced within your heart.

* * *

The sun was heading towards the far horizon by the time you left the clocktower and parted ways. After Roxas and Xion were done, Lea stepped up to you with his hands in his pockets.

“Thanks for humoring them today.” He nodded to the two of them standing a short ways away, talking animatedly with each other. Then, for the first time, you saw him truly smile, “I think they had fun.”

“I was happy to.” You said, offering a small grin in return, “It was nice hanging out with you guys.”

For a moment, he only stared at your face, then he looked away, “Listen, uh,” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, making a critical decision, “I understand if you’re not interested, got the message loud and clear, but we don’t have a lot of friends here. And, if something were to ever happen to me…” He huffed, rubbing his forehead, muttering under his breath, “Why am I asking you this…”

You crossed your arms, “You need someone there for them. What about your friend? Or your parents?”

He sighed and nodded, “Isa’s illness… he can’t take care of himself right now. We don’t know when he’ll get better. And our parents aren’t in the picture.”

After that afternoon, you figured that they had left whatever situation they were in before. And you had a feeling that whatever they had left, it was bad.

You looked at him hard, then at the kids, laughing at each other about something silly.

“You don’t have to, it’s really not your problem. It’s okay – “

“Sure.”

“What?”

You shrugged, “Sure.” Then, you smiled wryly, “I still have your number.”

“Oh.” He breathed, “Good – I mean, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But just so we’re clear, I’m not a babysitter.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Buuut,” You hummed, “if you guys want to hang out, go ahead and text me. Okay?”

A slow, amazed smile brightened his eyes. He lifted his hand and pointed at his temple, “I got it memorized.”

* * *

As the three of them walked back home, Lea said, “You guys really like Y/N.”

They nodded.

“Why?”

“Because they’re nice.” Roxas said, “Does there have to be any other reason?”

Lea levelled them with a look, “You’ve only met them twice.”

“And they’ve been nice to us both times.”

“That doesn’t always mean that they are actually nice.”

Xion held her hands to her stomach, “We know what bad people are like, Axel.”

Properly scolded, he let it drop, “Right.”

They walked in silence for a long second.

“Axel,” Xion said, “the dreams of Sora are going away.”

He gasped, “What?”

Roxas hid his smile, “We’re still having them, but they’ve gotten so foggy we can barely make anything out.”

“I can still see Naminé.” She sighed in relief, “Those dreams are getting stronger.”

“You know what that means, right?” Roxas grinned, “Our hearts are growing.” He held his clenched fists to his chest, “We’re our own people.”

Though no less excited, Xion pointed out, “But if the dreams are getting weaker, then that must mean that Sora will wake up soon.” She turned her bottomless gaze to Lea, “What will the others do when that happens?”

Lea grit his teeth, swiftly digesting the news, “I figure they’ll start toying with him again. Not control him, they know better than to try that trick twice.”

“Should we help?”

Both Lea and Roxas whirled on Xion, “Huh?”

Now at a dead halt, she didn’t back down, “The Heartless are going to destroy the world. We have keyblades, too. We can help.”

Lea shot it down without hesitation, “No. We’re not getting involved.”

“If the world dies, then what will we do?”

Roxas faltered, “That… won’t be for a while, though. Right?”

“The keyblade’s chosen one and his little friends can handle it.” Lea snapped, “They’ve got the guys upstairs and the magician helping them out. They’ll be fine.”

“But – “

“We’re not going to throw ourselves into that mess just so Xehanort and his cronies can find us!” He barked, and when they got stares, he lowered his voice, “You know what he will do if he does, right?”

Xion’s indignation slipped and she shared a glance of mutual horror with Roxas.

“So, we’re staying here. We’re staying low.” He whispered, “Sora and his friends can take care of it, okay?”

She wasn’t convinced, but she wasn’t going to argue it any further. Roxas patted her shoulder and nudged her forward with Lea beside them.

* * *

Hibiki looked up from her handheld system, “Nice walk?”

You shrugged off your jacket, “Yeah. Guess who I ran into.”

She paused, then got on her knees to look at you over the couch with narrowed eyes, “It had better not be that flaming flamingo.”

You laughed, “Yeah, yeah, I saw Lea again today. And his little sister and brother.”

She recoiled, “His _what?_ ”

“I told you about the first time we met right? I think I said that I was bringing them to their brother, Lea.”

She shook her head, not at you, but at the situation. Dangerously, she gripped the edge of the couch, “He didn’t harass you for sex, did he?”

You waved your hands, “Oh, no no. I think he mostly forgot about that.”

She growled in the back of her throat, “If he makes you uncomfortable, you call me.”

“I will.” You promised, “Thank you.”

She nodded, slowly sitting back down.

You made to go to your room, but you stopped at the couch, watching her play her game. The question struggled behind your teeth before popping out, “Are we friends?”

She flinched, setting her game aside. She didn’t say anything for a minute, not quite looking at you, “Do you… want to be friends?”

“Yeah.” You said before you could stutter your way back into your hole, “I’d really like to be friends with you.”

“Good, me too.” And that was the end of that conversation, but when she smiled at the screen, it wasn’t because of the game.

* * *

There were stars. Tiny pinpricks of light in a sea of dark blue, and vast night sky. Then, lines began to connect them, constellations you didn’t recognize, and so, so many.

You were laying on your back in a shallow pool of water, a perfect mirror. The water was cool, but you weren’t wet.

It was a dream.

After you got your fill of the night sky, you sat up to take in the endless horizon. But there was a figure in white, so far away it was as big as your thumbnail. It was standing still, arm raised to the stars above, tracing the lines that connected them.

Curious, you got up and walked towards it, your footsteps making no sound. The figure grew as you got closer. It was a girl in a white dress, her blond hair swept over her shoulder. Her back was turned to you.

“Hello?” You called.

She jumped and spun around, shocked and frightened, “Who are you?”

You quickly put your hands up placatingly, “My name’s Y/N. Who’re you?”

Her glare slowly relaxed, “This is a dream.”

“I think it is, yeah.”

She huffed, pressing a hand to her forehead, “Guess I got scared for nothing. You’re not real.”

Cocking your head to the side, you said, “I’m not?”

“You can’t be.” She sighed in relief, “Normal humans don’t appear so clearly to me.”

“Why not?”

She waved at the stars in the sky, “Because your hearts aren’t strong enough.” She pointed at a bright, absolutely enormous constellation, “That’s Aqua’s heart.” Then, she pointed to a dim, small one to it’s right, “And that’s a human’s.”

You took in the group of shining stars, “Aqua?”

She nodded, folding her hands in front of her chest anxiously, “She’s been a lot closer lately. I wonder if she’s going to come here.”

“Who’s Aqua?”

“An angel.”

You scoffed, “Really. Those aren’t real.”

She grinned at you like you were naïve child, “If that’s what you want to believe.”

You put your hands in your pockets and considered the girl, “Who are you?”

“My name is Naminé.”

Then, the world blurred. Vertigo swept up your throat and you fell to your knees, but the still waters disappeared under you, as did the stars and the girl. You burned as you fell into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't even really started the next chapter and I already know it's going to be a challenging one, haha  
> Thanks to everyone who's commented and left kudos!! It's really encouraging!


	5. 82 Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 82 days of becoming important to people, and of people becoming important to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar for beta-ing this behemoth!!

You texted him at six-thirty that night.

_“Hey, this is Y/N. Is this Lea?”_

He texted back five minutes later.

_“Yea thats me”_

Then, he continued.

_“Thanks for texting me”_

_“No problem. I had fun today”_

The next text came back a few minutes later.

_“Yeah me too. Let's do it again sometime”_

You smiled at your phone, _“I’d like that”_

* * *

_“So… I’ve been wondering about something. Can I ask you something that might be a little personal?”_

_“Depends on the question._

_Shoot.”_

_“Roxas and Xion are really sheltered, and you_ _arent_ _really._ _Howd_ _that happen?”_

He took his time with the reply, _“I was adopted in my teens”_

_“Okay._

_“Why_ _arent_ _your parents in the picture anymore?”_

Again, another long pause, _“They were abusive. I grabbed Xion and Roxas and left the second I could”_

 _“_ _Thats_ _what I figured…_

_“So no outside interaction at all?”_

_“Nope”_

_“Do they go to school now?”_

He took so long you thought he wouldn’t answer, then shortly after:

_“Theyre still really confused by a lot of things right now. We’re taking things one day at a time so they dont get overwhelmed_

_“They still need to get used to not being there. It was all they knew”_

_“Makes sense…_

_“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m here if you need help”_

_“Thanks_

_“And the same to you, yknow. Ill be here”_

You found yourself smiling at your phone, _“Thank you”_

* * *

_“Hey Im going to give your number to xion and roxas”_

_“Oh? Ok_

_“Why?”_

_“Theyve been bugging me about it and wont leave me alone”_

_“lol okay go ahead”_

Within a minute, you had a couple of messages from the twins. It began with introductions, and over the past few days, became questions. Then, you shared a meme with them.

**Roxas**

_“What is that?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean what does that picture mean”_

_“Its a meme…”_

_“Whats a meme?”_

… What the fuck?

**Xion**

_“Xi do you know what a meme is?”_

_“No. What’s a meme?”_

What the fuck?

**Xion & Roxas**

_“Okay for todays lesson we’ll be taking a deep dive…”_

A few hours later you got a text from Lea.

**Lea**

_“Why are they singing about two trucks having sex what the fuck did you teach them”_

_“DO NONE OF YOU KNOW ABOUT MEMES”_

_“What the hells a meme?”_

_“WHAT THE FUCK”_

* * *

Hibiki wasn’t sure she liked – no, she absolutely _did not_ like that you were texting the flaming flamingo. And she knew you were texting him because your phone, which used to never ever go off, was buzzing with increasing frequency throughout the month. She had offhandedly asked if something was going on with work, but when you said it was _that fuckass_ and his little brats she made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat.

“Are you sure you want to dick around with that fuckwit?” She sneered.

You shrugged, “He’s actually an okay guy.”

She groaned with revulsion, “Why him?”

“… Do I have to have a reason to be nice?”

Of course you’d say something like that. “He was kinda an ass to you when you brought his drunk ass here.”

You nodded, “I remember.”

“So why are you being nice to him?”

“I don’t know. He’s been alright to me since then.”

She wanted to snap the words trapped behind her teeth: _You don’t even know what he is!_ But she couldn’t. Even when they were on the tip of her tongue, she just couldn’t say it. If she did, it would ruin… everything.

You, sitting so relaxed on the couch next to her, the naturally flowing conversation, the way your eyes lit up when she wanted to be around you. Your smile, which used to be so rare and fleeting, was lighting your face more and more often. All because she wanted to be your friend.

Her snarl melted into a pensive, sad frown. She didn’t want to ruin this.

So, she let it go, but not without grumblings. You were an adult, you were entitled to your choices and privacy, but she couldn’t stop that swoop of possessive protectiveness whenever you laughed or made a face at your phone after it chimed. You didn’t know. You couldn’t know what he was.

And, as time went on, she got antsy. She refused to be lulled into a false sense of security, refused to believe that he had no ulterior motive.

Demons don’t care about people. They can’t. Every smile that you directed at your phone was built on a lie. She knew this. You did not.

The thought that keeping this secret from you could one day wind up with you dead… No, she would keep that from ever happening.

* * *

You got a text at eight in the morning. You blearily picked up your phone charging on the bedside table beside you and took a peek. It was from Roxas.

_“Hey we need some help”_

You blinked yourself awake and tapped out a hasty reply, _“With what?”_

_“We’re out of coffee and want ice cream”_

You sighed in relief and gratitude. It was something simple, not an emergency, _“You want me to help?”_

_“Yeah can you come pick us up? We don’t want to go alone and Axel isnt awake yet”_

You glanced at your clock. It was still really early, but you knew a shop that would be open now, and the ice cream stand would open by the time you would be done there.

_“Sure, whats your address?”_

* * *

You pulled up into the front of the apartment complex and texted them to let them know you were there. Shortly after, they emerged. You rolled down your car window and waved and they climbed into the backseat.

“Alright, let’s go to the market and get you some coffee.” You said, “What kind?”

“Uh,” Roxas mumbled, pulling an empty can out of his jacket, “this kind.”

You stared at him over the shoulder of your seat, “Roxas… how did you hide that in your jacket?”

He opened his jacket to reveal a hastily sown, giant inside pocket. “It’s useful.”

You scoffed in amazement, then held out your hand, “Let me see.”

After he put it in your palm, you took a look at it, “… _This_ is the coffee you drink?”

“Yeah?” He said, “Why, what’s wrong with it?”

You almost said “this is the cheapest, crap coffee out there” before you remembered that they had grown up poor, and obviously still were. You sighed quietly, “Nothing, but I know a better kind we can get you.”

Xion leaned forward in her seat, “There’s different kinds?”

 _Oh dear._ “Yeah, I’ll get you a couple different ones so you can figure out what you like.”

“Then we can get some ice cream?” Roxas asked.

“Sure. And we can get some for Lea and your friend, too.”

They smiled real wide, almost beaming. They were absolutely _giddy_ at the prospect of getting more salty ice cream and they didn’t hide it.

“Put on your seatbelts.” You reminded them before driving off. You glanced at them through the rearview mirror and did a double take when you took a closer look at their big grins, but their mouths were closed by the time you looked again. You could’ve sworn their teeth were…

You shook yourself out of it. Probably still tired was all. Even the _other_ was still resting.

The kids stared out of the windows the whole drive, at ease behind the glass. It was a gray and cold day and there weren’t many people out.

It was relieving to see that the store was mostly empty besides a few customers and the employees. Roxas and Xion were still antsy, never straying too far from your side, but as you perused the aisles, they slowly forgot it in their curiosity. They would huddle together, whispering back and forth about something that caught their eyes. You let them be, patiently waiting for them to move on to the next item. Slowly leading them towards the coffee, you watched them gawk at most everything edible, as if they’d never seen it before.

It was a very… strange experience. But you didn’t ask the questions burning behind your tongue. Lea already told you they had been isolated for most of their lives. Best not make them self-conscious about it.

As you passed the jarred goods, Xion gasped and pointed at a thin, glass jar. “What is that?”

You walked backwards until you could get a good look at it. It was a cylinder jar full of red, slightly chunky sauce. The label on it had a plate of rice with the contents poured over it. “It’s simmer sauce.”

“Does it turn into that?”

You had to process the question, “Does it – uh, not exactly. It’s for curry, or in this case it's tikka masala.” When they continued to stare, you said, “You heat it up and eat it with rice, chicken, and veggies, typically.”

“You cook it?” Roxas asked.

“Yeah. You do that with food.”

Xion hummed, “I think I’d like to try it.”

You pocketed that line and couldn’t get it out of your head, even as they lightly squabbled about what kind of instant coffee they should get. They ended up coming down to three different brands and you couldn’t say no.

The guy at the ice cream stand raised a brow at you when the three of you showed up. “In weather like this?”

You shrugged, “Ice cream is an all season thing. Five sea-salts, please.”

“Five?” Roxas asked.

“I said I’d get one for Lea and your roommate, too.” You said, handing them two ice creams each, “You mentioned last time you wanted to get one for him.”

Two wobbly smiles met you.

“Thanks.”

* * *

After you dropped them off at their apartment, you went right back to the supermarket with a recipe pulled up on your phone.

Except, when you actually tried to make it…

You were playing on your phone when Hibiki burst out of her room and into the kitchen, “What the _fuck_ is burning?”

You paled and turned to the stove, “OH FUCK!”

The curry was stuck to the saucepan in a mess of smoking, dark sludge. You forgot to turn the burner down to let it simmer. You hadn’t even noticed the smell until you lifted the lid.

While the _other_ laughed, you groaned while scraping off as much of the burnt food into the trash as you could before giving up and throwing it into the sink to soak. You put your head in your hands and whined, “Dammit…”

Hibiki took in the sight of the kitchen, the leftover potatoes, peas, spinach, chickpeas and chicken sitting on the counter and the rice cooking in the pot on the stove. “Were you trying to make curry?”

You nodded and sighed, “It was going to be a gift…”

“For who?”

“Roxas and Xion. Lea’s siblings.”

A dark expression passed over her face but was gone in a blink of an eye, “Why curry?”

“They needed some help today so I drove them around. Went to the market and they saw some simmer sauce and wanted to try it.” You waved your hand at the soapy water in the sink, “I tried to do it the hard way, and…”

For a long moment, she only stood, staring at you. Then, she made a fist and said, “I’ll help you make it.”

Your back straightened, “You will?”

“Yeah. Looks like you’ve got enough extra stuff to make another batch. But only,” She pointed at you with a stern finger, “if I’m there when you give it to them.”

“Sure! Thank you so much!” You went to retrieve the pan, only to realize it was still ruined for another few hours, “Ah, maybe later, though.”

* * *

Lea was just getting out of his room when he smelled coffee, but not the same kind he’d been drinking for the past handful of months. But, hadn’t they gone out yesterday? He had made plans to grab some more that morning.

He entered the kitchen to see the coffee pot brewing with Xion and Roxas sitting on the counter, watching it drip into the pot.

Lea stared at the scene, “Who got coffee?”

“We did.” Xion said, tapping her feet together, “Y/N took us to the supermarket.”

“I’m sorry,” He laughed, cleaning out his ear with his finger, “what did you say?”

“We asked Y/N to help us get coffee.” Roxas repeated, “And we got ice cream for all of us, too.”

Lea went dead silent, “ _With what munny?_ ”

“They paid for it.”

He groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. There were so many things he wanted to say: Why did you go out without telling me? Why did you make Y/N pay for it all? Do you know how dangerous it is for you to be out there without me?

Then, it occurred to him that none of those questions even remotely questioned your motives. None of them questioned why they thought asking you was a good idea. None of them questioned that you would do anything to harm them. None of them questioned _you_ at all.

Of course there had to be some modicum of trust when he asked you if you’d watch out for them. Trust that you wouldn’t intentionally hurt them. But when did he start trusting _you?_

He sighed grievously, “Next time you have to let me know. If you’re out to buy something I’ll give you some cash.” He pointed a finger at them both, “You’re lucky Y/N was nice enough to get everything for you.”

“But you were sleeping!” Xion pointed back, “We didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You can wake me up whenever you need anything! I may like my naps, but I like you guys just a _little_ bit more.” He added, pinching two fingers close together.

“So…” She said, slowly smiling, “You’re not mad that we went with them?”

He paused, “No, I’m not.”

Roxas grinned slyly, “So you’re okay if we go out with them again?”

“As long as I’m there.” He shot, “Y/N won’t hurt you, but we still have to be careful. Got it memorized?”

He kicked the back of his heels against the cupboards, “When can we stop worrying about _them_?”

“When the boy hero and his pals get rid of them. That’s when.”

Neither were happy, and neither was Lea. But he was right. Until they were dead and gone, their lives were in danger. Being cautious would keep them alive, for now.

Then, Xion got off the counter and opened the freezer, proudly showing off two sea-salt ice creams, “For you and Saix.”

He blinked, then a warm smile spread across his face, “Thanks, guys.”

* * *

You and Hibiki were working together on the curry. Mostly it was just you cutting and dicing the ingredients while she gave orders and watched the saucepan, pouring various seasonings in. It already smelled miles better than your attempt.

Then, it slipped out, “Hey, Hibi, I got the chicken ready.”

She stiffened and slowly turned to you, “Hibi?”

Your mouth puckered, _shit,_ “S-Sorry! I – “

“It’s okay.” She interrupted, a faint blush on her cheeks, “You can call me Hibi.”

You went silent, “Really?”

She nodded, turning her face away from you, “Yeah. I don’t care.”

Quietly, you turned your beaming smile at the floor, “Okay.”

After a few minutes of silence, she asked, “So, what are these kids like?”

“Hm? Roxas and Xion?” You put down your knife next to the onions, “Well… they’re a little different.”

She eyed you from her peripheral, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” You fought for the words, “they’re… really sheltered. It’s not really my place to tell why, but they had a… hard childhood. They don’t understand a lot of things and don’t _know_ a lot of things.” You’re lips twitched into a fond almost-smile, “I’ve kinda become a surrogate teacher to them. They look a lot of stuff up on their phones but they need help with the details.

“To be completely honest,” You trailed off, “it’s like they don’t know how to be human.”

She went very, very quiet, staring at the pan with her face turned away from you.

“Hibi?”

She shook herself out of it, “They sound fuckin’ weird, honestly.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

You handed her the cut up vegetables and they popped and sizzled when they hit the saucepan. It looked like she wanted to say something else, but she didn’t.

“This stuff can keep for a while, but let's get it to them while it’s fresh. Tell them we’ll be there in about an hour.”

* * *

**Roxas & Xion**

_“Hey I got a surprise for you. Come outside the apartment.”_

You waited outside the building with Hibi, holding a spare casserole dish you got at the thrift shop. It was still a little warm and the smell alone made your stomach growl.

“It smells so good.” You sighed.

“I’ll make us some later.”

Your stomach cheered, “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, they walked outside and waved.

“Hey, what’s the sur…” Roxas drifted off, staring at Hibiki. Xion was as well.

Hibiki was staring back at them with wide, hard eyes.

The presence rolling off those two wasn’t like anything she had ever felt before. It was cold, just like every other normal demon’s, but it was intense. Like the very air around them was frost. It should’ve bit right through her, but with the cold came this… gentleness. If she had to put it into words, it was like being wrapped up in bed while the bitterest winter storm raged outside. These two weren’t normal.

“What the fuck – “ She started, but kept it to a whisper.

Roxas and Xion kept glancing at you then back at her.

“Oh, don’t worry guys, this is my friend, Hibiki.” You introduced with a worried smile, “She helped me make this curry.”

The two relaxed slightly, now looking at each other with knowing eyes.

“Curry?” Xion asked, “Like the simmer sauce?”

“Yeah, except we made it from scratch. You said you wanted to try it, so…” You handed it to her, “Here.”

She took it with bright eyes and sniffed, “It smells spicy.”

“It is.” You admitted, “I hope that’s okay.”

She nodded, then showed it to Roxas, “Smell!”

He did, then hummed, “It’s not like ice cream. It’s warm.”

“Yeah, that’s how it’s served. You can heat it up in the microwave or an oven – “ Your phone started to ring and you fished it out of your pocket, “Aw crap, it’s my manager. One second guys.”

When you walked out of earshot, Hibiki rounded on them, “ _What the fuck are you?_ ”

“What the fuck are _you?_ ” Roxas shot back.

“Axel said you weren’t fully human.” Xion said, glowering at her, “What do you want?”

“To protect Y/N from people like _you._ Now what the hell are you?”

“We’re demons, you silver-haired fuck.” Roxas growled, eyeing her bangs with a note of disgust, “And we’re not going to hurt them.”

“They’re our friend! We’d never hurt them.” Xion bristled.

“Demons don’t have friends.”

Roxas’ pupils began to elongate sideways in anger, “Yeah? Well we do!”

Even Xion’s temper was beginning to boil, “And Y/N’s one of them.”

Hibiki opened her mouth, but found the words dying on her lips. These two were actually angry. Demons don’t get angry. They’re not supposed to feel _at all_.

Shocked, she whispered, “What the fuck are you…?”

If she strained her hearing hard enough, there was the faintest –

“Ugh, I’ve been called in.”

The three of them snapped out of their aggression as soon as you turned around.

You scratched your head in annoyance, “I was hoping to hang out for a little while longer, but I’m needed in the next hour.”

Both kids wilted.

“Aw,” Roxas kicked the bricks.

“Before you go, Isa liked the ice cream. He couldn’t eat all of it, but he asked us to tell you thank you.” Xion said.

“And Axel said thanks for the coffee.”

You grinned triumphantly, “I’m glad to hear that. I hope you like the curry.”

With your goodbyes, you and Hibi got in the car and drove back home. She was oddly silent, tapping her knees and staring out of the front window.

“You okay?” You asked.

She shrugged lopsidedly, “Yeah. Those kids are weird.”

“Yeah, but they’re good.” You countered with a fond smile, “They’re just learning.”

“Yeah…” She turned her face to look out the passenger side window, “Sure.”

* * *

It was snowing the day you met them. Not hard, but the flakes were big and sticking to the ground and the gray clouds overhead promised more to come. The chill bit you through your coat, but not enough to make you hurry back home from your little walk.

“Sora, look out!”

Someone ran straight into your back and you stumbled. You would’ve fell right on your face if someone hadn’t grabbed your shoulders and pulled you back onto your feet.

“Ah, geez, I’m sorry!”

You turned around to face a teenage boy, probably around the twin’s age. He had wild brown hair and warm blue eyes. He wore a jacket, but he was shivering.

A girl with red hair ran up to stand beside him, “You’ve got to be more careful.”

“I’m sorry!” He laughed awkwardly, “I’m still getting used to this.” He smiled at you, “Sorry again for running into you. Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine.” You waved it off, “You kept me from falling, so thank you.”

He hummed bashfully, crossing his hands behind his head, “I’m just glad you didn’t fall.” Then the wind picked up and he shuddered, throwing his arms around himself, “Argh! It’s cold!”

The girl giggled, “Islander through and through, huh? C’mon, we have to get to the sta…tion.” She made a noise somewhere between a hiss and a groan, “By any chance, would you know the way to the train station? We’ve been walking in circles and can’t find it.”

A memory of two other kids lost in town knocked around in your head, “Sure, it’s right up at the top of the hill.” You pointed at the clocktower, “Follow me.”

“Thanks.”

As you walked, it became ever more obvious that neither of them were particularly used to the cold, though the girl took it much better than the boy. They had mentioned the boy being an islander, and considering the West Coast wasn’t known for island cities, that would mean he was likely from the East Coast. There was a reason he was in Twilight Town instead of his home.

The boy kept trying to catch snowflakes in his mouth, watching them fall with childlike wonder while the girl laughed at him. You wondered if he’d ever seen snow before.

The walk didn’t take that long, thanks to your shortcut. And you made sure to point out landmarks so they could find their way back.

“Here we are.”

The three of you stood before the clocktower.

With a relieved smile, the girl said, “Thank you. We really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” You replied, “You guys get to wherever you’re going safely, okay?”

The boy grinned, “We will. Thanks!”

They waved at you from the steps of the train station before hurrying inside. You waved back and started on your way home.

Inside the small, empty station foyer, two balls of light emerged from Sora and Kairi’s jackets.

“Garwsh, what a nice fella.” Said the green orb.

“Figures it would be Sora to run straight into something when he wasn’t looking.” The blue one quacked, “Would have been funnier if it was a stop sign.”

“Hey! I’ve been asleep for almost a year, give me a break!”

“But we were lucky we found someone who could help us get here.” Kairi pointed out, “So, in a way, Sora saved us a lot of trouble, Donald.”

The blue orb huffed good-naturedly, “Yeah, okay.”

“That’s our Sora.” The green orb chuckled.

“Anyway,” Kairi said, “we need to get to Yen Sid’s, stat. The train should be here any minute now.” She opened her jacket pocket, “C’mon, Donald.”

He groaned, “I hate the pocket.”

“Please?”

“No!”

“Perish. Get in the pocket.”

Grumbling darkly, he did as he was told.

“We can’t be seen around humans, buddy, remember?” The green orb reminded him, “They don’t take kindly to things they don’t understand.” And he slipped easily into Sora’s pocket as well.

“Thanks, Goofy.” Sora said, patting the pocket fondly, “By the way, why a train?”

Kairi shrugged, “He has to invite us. He keeps his realm tightly guarded, so it’s almost impossible to break in.”

“But we got into Hollow Bastion without being invited.”

She bit her tongue, “That wasn’t the case, actually.” She said, leading him into the main room. The station was busy enough that they wouldn’t be overheard as they stood close to the tracks, “Maleficent left the gate unlocked because she _wanted_ us to be there. She wanted us to think we broke in so we’d drop our guard.”

After letting that sink in, he groaned, “That figures. We really stepped into that one.”

With a pained frown, she nodded.

At that moment, a strange train painted blue with bright yellow stars pulled in right in front of them. It opened its doors, eerily silent.

“Here’s our ride.” Kairi said, “Let’s go.”

Goofy glowed brighter inside Sora’s pocket, “I can’t wait to see Master Yen Sid, again!”

“Shut it, you big palooka!” Donald hissed.

“But aren’t you glad to be going home for a visit, too, Donald?”

“Wack? Of course I am! But you’re glowing too bright, so shh!”

Sora and Kairi laughed and entered the train that no one but them could see.

* * *

The second time you dreamt of Naminé, she was kneeling, watching the bright night sky.

“Hi.” You called cautiously, startling her once again.

“It’s you.” She gasped.

“Mhmm.” Then frowned. Her eyes were red and she was curled in on herself. “Are you okay?”

She flinched and turned away. After a long period of silence, she finally said, “My friends left.”

“Oh… Why?”

She slowly shook her head, her blonde hair cascading off her pale shoulder, “They had to. The world’s in danger, and they can help stop it. I don’t blame them.” But her voice cracked.

You stood over her, watching her break. “Can I take a seat?” She shrugged and you sat. Even if she was just a dream, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. “Tell me about it.”

She sniffed, “Since you’re a dream, it can’t hurt, can it?” She said to herself, then shook her head again, “They had to. At least they said goodbye, even if he can’t remember me. She said we’d see each other again, but I don’t think we will.” Then, so soft you almost didn’t hear it, “I wasn’t meant to exist. I’m a mistake.”

A surge of anger swelled in your gut, “Who told you that?”

“They did.” She said quietly, but with a note of restrained anger, “The demons who took over Castle Oblivion.” Her fingers curled around her arms as she hugged herself, “They made me hurt them.” And she curled in on herself, smaller and smaller, “Made me break his heart. I didn’t want to hurt him – I don’t want to hurt anybody!” Her sobs returned, racking through her frail body, “I never wanted to hurt anyone…”

“Naminé…” Carefully, you put your palm in between her shoulder blades. Even though you had no idea what she was talking about, it was killing her inside, “It’s okay to cry. Scream it out if you want.”

And she did. You were with her for every second of it.

* * *

A few weeks later…

**Xion**

_“Hey, Y/N? Are you busy?”_

_“No whats up?”_

The three dots stood there for several minutes, until the short reply came.

_“I need someone to talk to. There’s something I have to tell you.”_

You felt your brows furrow.

_“Yeah of course. Do you want me to come over or?”_

_“Can we talk outside the apartment, please?”_

_“Yeah I’ll be there in fifteen”_ You texted as you stepped into your shoes.

* * *

Xion sat beside you on the pavement, nervously fiddling with the hem of her jacket. She couldn’t meet your eyes.

“Xion?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I don’t think I’m a girl.”

You blinked, swallowing the news. It wasn’t what you had been expecting, but it was nonetheless important. Xion was staring at you with wet eyes, and you knew this wasn’t the time to question. It was the time to be supportive, “Okay. Then, what gender are you?”

Their eyes went wide, expecting you to disbelieve them, “I’m… I read about people who are nonbinary. They’re not either boy or girl. That’s what I feel like.”

You nodded encouragingly, “Alright. What pronouns do you use?”

“They/Them.” They answered, staring at you hopefully, “You’re… You’re not mad?”

“Mad?” You scoffed, “No, never. You’re who you are and I’ll support you in whatever way I can.”

A wobbly smile split their frown, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You said, holding out an arm in invitation and they accepted it gratefully, pressing their cheek against your chest. You gave them a squeeze, “Do Lea and the others know?”

“Roxas does.” They mumbled, “He gets it. But I haven’t told Axel or Saix yet.”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes, but I don’t know… I don’t know how to.”

“Do you think he’ll be mad?”

“I don’t know.” They pressed in closer to you, “I don’t want them to hate me.”

“Why do you think they’ll hate you?”

They shook their head, “I just read that some people don’t like it.”

You sighed softly, “That’s true. But do you think Lea and Isa are the kind of people who will hate you for you being who you are?”

The answer was immediate, “No.”

“Will you tell them, then?”

After a moment, they said, “Yes.”

“Do you want me to be there with you?”

They shook their head, “No, but thank you.”

“No problem.” You patted their shoulder, “Text or call me when you do, okay? If you want to.”

They squeezed you, “Thanks, Y/N.”

“Of course, Xion. I’m here for you.”

* * *

Roxas and Xion stood in the living room, waiting for Lea and Isa to join them.

Roxas patted their shoulder, “It’ll be okay.”

They nodded with a lump in their throat, their hands clasped together in front of their stomach.

Soon after, Lea walked in, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Isa followed a minute after, wearing his blanket and several layers. He shuffled to the couch and sat down gingerly.

“So,” Lea said, falling onto the couch, “What’s going on?”

Xion swallowed, “I’m not a girl.” Then added quickly, “Or a boy.”

Both men paused, glanced at each other, then back at her.

“Okay.” Lea said.

The teenagers glanced at each other, then back at them.

“Just… okay?” Xion asked.

He shrugged, “It’s not that big of a deal for demons and angels.”

They stared. “What do you mean?” Roxas pressed.

Isa sighed, wrapping the blanket tighter around him, “Gender isn’t concrete, especially for people like us. It’s easier to think of our bodies as…” he struggled for the word, “a projection. Or perhaps clay is a better term. We can change our appearance at will, you know that.”

Roxas balled his hands into fists and relaxed them several times, thinking hard, “Yeah, took us forever to get that down.”

Lea huffed, “Yeah, several months. And most of that time you were walking around like zombies.” He put his hand over his head and sharply pulled it behind him, “Everything. Right over your heads.”

Xion grimaced, “I remember.” Then, they pouted, “But if that’s the case, why did you keep calling me ‘she’?”

They both winced, “That’s our bad.” Lea admitted, “You looked like a girl, so we defaulted to that. It’s been so long since anyone’s been born that…” His eyes drooped, “we forgot you wouldn’t know that automatically.

“Sorry, kid.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his head, “I was in the same boat as you, a long, long time ago.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. I was born in the visage of a woman, but it never felt right. One day I said, ‘fuck it’ and molded myself into a man.” He waved a hand at his body, “And here we are.”

Xion relaxed, “I’m not alone?”

His eyes went wide, then he smiled softly, “You never were.”

Tears beaded in the corners of their eyes and they all but threw themself at him, “Thank you.”

Isa put a hand on their back, “There will be a period of adjustment, but we’ll support you.”

“Yeah!” Roxas said, “We’ve got your back.”

“Got it memorized?” Lea whispered into their hair, his arms still unsure as he held them. “So, what pronouns do you go by?”

They smiled into his shirt, “They/Them.”

* * *

Isa stood in the kids’ doorway, watching them sleep soundly. There had been a lengthy discussion about the intricacies of gender, both human and other, and they were still so full of questions. Their strength was so far beyond his ken he struggled to remember that compared to himself, Lea, and all the others out there, they were still newborns.

When they emerged from the waters, they were told what their place was without room for debate, and without any other alternative, they accepted and tried to fulfill it. Now, they were in a place where they had no job, no duty to perform, no secret agenda they were to be puppetted into. They were still figuring out who they, themselves, were and how they worked and who they are. Not who they were supposed to be.

Though his body shook with exhaustion, a cold that had grown ever stronger gnawing at his marrow, he stood there. To think he had once been apathetic to them, unable to care less about their existence besides mild interest in the circumstances of their birth and the quiet jealousy he shouldn’t have felt when they took his friend’s attention.

All that time, to think he had secretly been in the same boat as them. A pawn in the machinations of a madman.

His thin, pallid hand touched the bags under eyes that were not his own.

“Hey.”

Isa let his hand drop and looked at his oldest friend over his shoulder. “Hey.”

Lea stood beside him, hearing their gentle snores with a soft expression. The two of them were silent as they quietly guarded the twins.

Isa was the one who broke it, “We’re lucky.”

“How so?”

“That they have someone else besides us to confide in.”

Knowing exactly who he was talking about, Lea nodded, “Yeah.”

“You should bring them here.”

“Excuse me?”

“I would like to meet them. To put a face to the stories.” He rearranged his grip on his blanket, “It would also help ease my apprehension. You may know them, but they’re still a stranger to me.”

Lea’s own apprehension reared its ugly head, “I don’t know…”

“If you trust them enough to let them be around Roxas and Xion without supervision, surely there’s no reason to not invite them.”

Lea sighed, “I hate it when you make good points.” He grumbled.

“That’s because I’m smarter than you.”

“Shut up.”

A weak laugh bubbled out of Isa, “It will be fine, Lea. Invite them over.”

* * *

**Y/N**

_“Hey”_

_“Hey whats up”_

_“Xion told us you helped them the other day with their gender”_

_“I’m glad it went well”_

_“Yea. I just wanted to say thanks_

_“Tbh Im glad they have you”_

_“I’m happy to be there for them”_

He smiled down at his phone with the knowledge that you meant it.

_“Im glad I took a chance on you and Im glad you picked me up off that curb. Thanks for your help”_

_“I almost turned you down lol there were a lot of mixed signals. First I thought you didnt like me then you started flirting with me then you ask if id be willing to help you. Didnt really know what to think”_

His smile turned into an embarrassed grimace.

_“Yea… sorry. Its been a bad couple of months”_

He closed his eyes before continuing to type.

_“but that wasnt a reason to treat you like that. Im sorry”_

_“hmmm. Apology accepted_

_“I like talking with you guys so it worked out in the end”_

He snorted softly.

_“Feelings mutual”_

His long fingers tapped the back of his phone in thought.

_“Isa would like to meet you but he cant leave the apartment. Would you like to drop by sometime?”_

The reply took a minute.

_“Sure! Im free this thursday”_

_“That works. Come by anytime”_

His stomach rolled as he put down his phone. It was okay that you knew where the apartment building was, but he had kept their hiding place such a tightly held secret his instincts still told him this was a bad idea. But at the same time, he trusted you. He didn’t think he’d trust anyone outside of his circle ever again.

* * *

In the fifth dream, Naminé asked you for your name.

You pointed at yourself, “I’m Y/N.”

She repeated it, “A dream with a name and a voice. You’re strange.”

“Says the girl who talks about demons and angels and stars that are actually hearts.” You shot back teasingly. “And I’m not the dream here.”

“You can’t fool me. You don’t actually exist.”

“Pretty sure I do, girlie. I banged my elbow today and that hurt like a bitch. If I was a dream, I’d wake up and not exist anymore, wouldn’t I?”

Her lips twisted into a half smile, “Fine. You’re almost real.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m arguing with a dream that I’m real. This is ridiculous.”

“And I’m arguing with a dream that I’m the real one.” She replied, “Humans don’t appear to me like you do.”

“If I’m not human, then what am I?”

She hummed, rocking from side to side, “You’re not an angel. There’s only four… well, technically, three of them left. And there’s only three Ancients, and their hearts are so big I’d have a hard time finding you at all.”

“You say demons are real.” You said coyly, “Can I be a demon?”

She huffed, “Don’t you know the myths?”

“That demons don’t have hearts, yeah yeah.”

“It’s the truth. If you didn’t have a heart, you wouldn’t appear to me at all.” Then, her expression became wistful, “There’s only two demons in all the realms that have hearts. I have dreams with them, too.”

“Friends of yours?”

She nodded, “They are. I hope to meet them face to face someday.”

“I hope so, too.” You said without thinking, then scoffed at yourself, “Alright, if I’m none of those things, then what am I?”

“A dream.”

“Oh, come on!”

Her laugh was like windchimes.

* * *

You stood anxiously in front of the apartment Lea said was theirs’. You shared the address with Hibiki as a safety precaution and she was relieved you had. She still didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him and it showed.

“I don’t care if it’s just a feeling, you text or call me the second you feel like you’re in danger! You hear me?”

“I hear you, Hibi. Thank you.”

After threats of tearing Lea limb from limb if he laid a hand on you, she finally relented enough to let you leave.

After sending a text to Lea and knocking on the door, it swung open, revealing the man himself.

It looked like he wanted to be happy to see you, but wasn’t sure. “Hey, come in.”

You walked inside and took off your shoes so they wouldn’t get their floor dirty. It had gotten slushy and gross outside after all of the snow the town had gotten off and on throughout the last two weeks. Then, when you looked around the living room, you felt yourself sober up really fast.

It was painfully bare. There was a ratty, second-hand couch in the middle of the room along with a wooden stool. No pictures hung on the walls and no books or knickknacks lined the bookshelves, except for one lone candle. The room itself was rather small, but could house a few people comfortably.

However, despite the lack of evidence of it, you could tell it was lived in. There was a blanket and a pillow thrown messily to the floor beside the couch and the candle had been lit recently, smelling of nutmeg and woodsmoke. You could see coffee rings on the stool from where you stood and a jacket was hanging off the arm of the sofa.

Lea laughed nervously, “Excuse the mess.”

“It’s okay.” You told him with a comforting smile, “Thank you for inviting me over.”

Inside your head you were monotonously screaming. _You live like this?_ _With three other people?_

“Hey, guys, Y/N’s here!” Lea shouted.

The pounding of socked feet heralded Xion and Roxas before you could even see them.

“Y/N!” Xion beamed, running over and taking your hand.

Roxas settled for standing in front of you, grinning from ear to ear, “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for having me.” You said, using your free hand to ruffle his hair which he batted away with a giggle.

A sound of a door creaking open split the banter and out from the hallway came the sickliest man you had ever seen. He had long, blue hair, brittle and thin. There was the impression of rapid weight loss, like he had no idea where his center of gravity was. His skin was waxy and yellow, his strong cheekbones hollowed and dark. But what struck you to your core was his eyes and the X-shaped scar across them. They were amber, and the bags that hung underneath them were like bruises. You’d never seen such tired, strange eyes before.

And, even through all you could see and more, he stood with his back straight and tall. His gaze focused on you and an unreadable expression crossed his face and then was gone altogether.

“Hi.” You waved, “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly, “Yes, it’s nice to finally meet you as well. My name is Isa.” He said in a calm, if strained voice.

There was an awkward pause before he slowly made his way to the sofa with unsure footing. He sat down heavily, like he lost the strength to stand at the last second.

Xion tugged on your hand and led you to the couch, making you sit at the other end with them in between you and Isa. Roxas followed, sitting on the armrest next to you while Lea hung back, watching it all.

“I wanted to thank you.” Isa said, looking at you over Xion’s head.

“For what?” You asked.

“For your thoughtful gifts. I enjoyed the ice cream.”

“We tried feeding him the curry,” Roxas added, “to warm him up, but he’s not a big eater.”

“Not for my lack of trying.” He scolded lightly.

 _‘Not a big eater’ is an understatement,_ You thought, noting the way his clothes hung off of him. “That’s okay, it’s not for everyone.”

He smiled tightly, then did a full-body shiver so strong you gasped. Roxas quickly grabbed the blanket hanging off the back of the couch and tried to get it over his shoulders. Isa shakily grabbed what he could and cocooned himself as best as he could.

Isa wasn’t a great conversationalist like Lea, he lacked that charm that made him so easy to talk to, but it was obvious he was trying his best to include you and be included himself. He _wanted_ to know about you, he _wanted_ to hear your side of the stories he’d been told, even when it physically pained him to continue on.

And you returned that same consideration. You also wanted to know more about him, you hoped for the possibility to become as close to him as you were with the other three, but despite your clawing questions about his illness, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

But Isa was a perceptive man, “My eyes are abnormal, I know.”

You gulped, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stare – “

“It’s fine.” He said, his tone holding an edge, “It’s a side effect of my illness.”

Despite how much you wanted to know what this sickness was, you didn’t want to be nosy, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s no one’s fault but mine.”

Your hands curled into fists on your knees, but not out of anger. He was in so much pain it hurt to look at him, but you did so anyway. Anything else would only cause more harm.

That’s when Lea decided to save everyone from the awkward silence that would inevitably follow, “Hey, man, you’re looking pretty tired.” He was leaning over the back of the couch and put a hand on Isa’s shoulder, “Why don’t we call it a day?”

Isa wanted to snap at him, but he was right, he was already exhausted. With a weary sigh, he carefully pushed himself off the sofa, “I’m glad I got to meet you properly. Thank you for humoring me.”

“No, no, thank you for asking me to come over.” You said, hoping you had a real smile on your face, “I’m glad I got to meet you, too. Rest well.”

* * *

In the twenty-third dream, she said that she was broken.

You sat by Naminé as she drew paint on the water with her fingers. Beautiful, moving pictures of a young boy with a girl and another boy with strange silver hair running along a sandy beach.

“My friend has silver hair.”

She shot you a strange look, “Really?”

“Yeah, except it’s just her bangs.” You pointed at your own hair, “I asked if she gets them dyed but she said they’re natural. The rest of its purple. Weird, right?”

She nodded slowly, putting her clean hands to her chin in thought, “Are you trying to tell me there’s another one…?”

This was a dream. But the dream thought _you_ were a dream when you knew _she_ was a dream. You may have given up arguing that, but it was still surreal to be treated like a figment of imagination. Especially when the other kept spouting cryptic nonsense like that.

“Another one what?”

After a pause, she reached out to the sky. With a flick of her fingers, like scrolling on a tablet, the stars moved; sideways, up, down, zooming in and out. She did it a few times, a hard line between her pale brows until she stopped. Her eyes went round.

“You were right…”

“What am I right about?”

She pointed at a constellation of weak, flickering stars. The lines between them kept fizzing and popping out, then reappearing connected to a different star. It wasn’t dying, but it wasn’t living either. It was only surviving.

“It’s so much more broken than Riku’s.” She whispered in mortification, “His was almost human. But she – “ She glared at it, thinking again, “What’s her name?”

“Hibiki.” You replied harshly, “And don’t call her broken.”

She opened her mouth, but then slowly closed it, “But I’m the same way, aren’t I?”

You considered her, “So am I.” You admitted freely, “But so what? We’re still people. And we’re still good.” You waved at the mess of disjointed stars, saying what you so desperately wanted someone to tell you when you were the same as that constellation, “So does it matter?”

She watched you quietly out of the corners of her eyes, “What if we do something bad, in the end? What if _she_ does something bad?”

You couldn’t say anything for a moment, and eventually sighed, “We all do bad things, don’t we?” You muttered, remembering your own, many failings, “We do. But as long as we apologize and do better… that’s all we can do.” You looked up at Hibiki’s heart, “And I’ll be there for her. Like I hope she’d be there for me. We’re friends, so that’s what we do.”

Naminé’s eyes slowly widened, tears beading and rolling down her cheeks, “For a dream, you’re very kind.”

You almost laughed, “I’m not a dream. I’m real. I’m human. I’m alive.” A lone tear dripped into the water below, “I’m alive.”

* * *

One visit became two, then five, then eleven. You even got your own designated spot on the couch and Isa’s phone number, though he asked that you only use it for emergencies.

His illness was still a mystery to you. You never heard of something causing a person’s eyes to change color, but whatever it was it was very real. Maybe it was like the _other_ , something you couldn’t explain but was happening anyway, except this one was malevolent to an extreme degree.

One morning, you had gotten a text from Lea asking if you’d be willing to help him out with something. Roxas and Xion’s coats were falling apart and they needed new ones desperately. He had only wanted your opinion on a good, cheap place to get nice coats, but you offered to come with him instead. There was a lot of back and forth when he found out you wanted to help pay for it, but he eventually relented.

And so, one cold but blue winter’s afternoon, you and he were walking around the Tram Commons.

“This thrift shop is nice.” You were explaining to him, “It’s a little more expensive than some others, but they take really good care of their staff and half of their proceeds goes to a charity of the month.”

Lea was walking beside you, slowly so that he didn’t end up leaving you behind with his long legs. His hands were in his pockets, and though you didn’t see it, he was smiling at you. “I’m game.”

“Cool. I was actually wondering if we should get Isa something as well…” You glanced shyly at him, “I was thinking we can stop by another shop and get him a heated blanket?”

Lea blinked, “A heated - ?” But he put two and two together before he could bungle himself, “Oh. Yeah.”

“He always looks so cold. I thought it might help.”

He hummed, turning his eyes skywards in thought, “It wouldn’t hurt. Just don’t tell him it’s a gift.”

“Okay, it’ll just show up in his room one day.” You wiggled your fingers and whispered, “A mystery.”

He smirked, imagining his friend’s confusion, “I’d like to see his face when that happens.”

With a sly smile, you put your hands in your pockets. What he didn’t know was that he was also going to find a jacket in his room one day without warning. You had plans to watch him closely while he inspected the clothes and figure out what he liked. His own jacket was threadbare and thin, though he didn’t seem bothered by it.

You looked up at his face, only barely catching him tearing his eyes off of you. The _other_ huffed dramatically and you giggled.

Lea looked back and raised a thin brow at you, “What’s so funny, sunshine?”

“Nothing.” You smiled, unable to stop yourself, “I just like being around you, is all.”

A faint blush dusted his cheeks and he turned away again, rubbing the back of his head, “You’re direct when you want to be.”

You scratched your cheek, “I didn’t mean anything by it. I guess Hibi’s rubbed off on me.”

He sighed slowly, watching you with those green eyes of his. _A mystery,_ you said. _You_ were the mystery here. So nice all the time, so patient with Roxas and Xion, so understanding with Isa. Befriending that woman. Willing to help people you barely knew at all. Being around you almost made him feel like he had a –

A flash of blue caught his eye and his stomach dropped to his ankles. _"Shit."_

“Huh?” You said, with no response. When you looked up, he wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere. “What the - ?”

“Excuse me.”

A tall, beautiful young woman was running over to you. Her hair was a deep, ocean blue, and so were her eyes. She wore a dark indigo peacoat with engraved silver buttons and a gray crocheted buttoned cowl scarf, both screaming Big Money. Her pants were fabric, but not leggings, and were tucked into tall, blue, almost black boots.

She was scanning the area around you with disbelieving eyes, “Did you see a man with red hair, just now?”

 _That’s suspicious,_ your mind immediately supplied, “Nope.”

Her expression fell, “Oh.” Then, to herself, “I swore he was…” She shook her head, “Of course not. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” Then she paused, evaluating you with furrowed brows, “Have we met?”

The _other_ in your heart was trembling, but not out of fear. It felt like it wanted to cry, “No, I don’t think we have, ma’am.”

But the moment she said it she was already laughing at herself, “No, no, we haven’t.” She smiled, but it was sad, “I’m sorry again.”

You shrugged, “No worries. You have a nice day, now.”

“Yes, you too. Thank you.”

You watched her leave until she was out of sight before desperately looking around for any sign of Lea, “Where are you?” You hissed, only for someone to tap your shoulder. You jumped two feet in the air and almost screamed, but you already knew it was just Lea.

You wanted to say something, but he looked like he had just seen a ghost. He kept looking over his shoulder to where the woman left, his expression pinched and scared.

“Hey, hey.” You said softly, then took his hand and he allowed himself to be pulled away from the street towards an alley, “Are you okay?”

He gulped and shook his head, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously not nothing, Lea.” You squeezed his warm hand, “Do you want to talk about it?”

His head jerked, which you took as a ‘no’, but then he mumbled, “I can’t – she can’t see me.”

“What?”

“She can’t know I’m here.”

“That woman just now?”

He nodded shakily.

“Who is she?”

He was silent for a long time, “My sister.”

Okay… you had expected _ex_ , not sister. They looked nothing alike, but then again, he was adopted so… of course. The abusive family. But the woman looked like she came from money, which didn’t fit with what Lea had told you. Unless she had left that family, too. But…

He looked like he was about to panic. This wasn’t the time, and it wasn’t your business.

“Breathe with me. Okay? Breathe.” You said, taking a deep breath, holding it, then letting it go.

He followed your example, hiccupping now and again, but with your help his breathing eventually steadied. He never let go of your hand.

The _other_ was shaking… sobbing, and you wanted to cry with it, but you didn’t. Instead, you squeezed his scarred, calloused palm. “Do you want to go home? We can go shopping later.”

He took slow, deep breaths, then shook his head, “No. I’m not running like scared fucking rabbit.”

You sighed quietly out of your nose, “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

You made to let go of his hand, but his fingers curled around yours, stopping you. When you looked at his face, his eyes were dry, but he so desperately wanted to cry.

“Thanks for not giving me up.” He croaked.

“Lea…” You breathed, then closed the distance between the two of you, so were standing a foot apart, “You’re my friend, okay? I’m not going to do that to you.”

A humorless chuckle thumped his chest, “You caught on fast. I thought that – “

“Disappearing without warning and a stranger asking about you a second later wouldn’t set off any red flags? Give me a little more credit, man.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He squeezed your hand one last time and let go, “Thanks, Y/N.”

You gave him a warm smile, “I’ve got your back.” Then, you teasingly pointed at your temple, “Got it memorized?”

Finally, a genuine laugh, “I’ve got it memorized.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its My fanfiction and I get to project the GENDER  
> anyway, a longer chapter than usual and i was correct it did just kick my ass in the beginning but look who's finished!!! HA  
> If you want to see some v rough sketches of donald goofy and mickey and maleficent and yen sid for this au I've got some doodles here:  
> https://artoutforblood.tumblr.com/post/617482411129896960/theres-only-a-very-very-select-few-disney  
> there's some info about them in the tags if you wanna read (･ｪ-)


	6. Sunset on Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Until now you had celebrated Celestial Mourning by yourself, if at all. This year would be different. Very, very different.
> 
> TW: Gore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar!!! my darling did an amazing job beta-ing this one!!

Again, you were staring up at the never ending, starry sky, laying on its perfect reflection. How many has it been so far? Thirty-one? Thirty-two? Reoccurring dreams were a thing, you knew, but thirty in four months?

Whatever. Everything in your life was a little bit weird at that point.

You sat up and searched for Naminé. There was a blot of white on the horizon, but you could already tell it wasn’t –

Wait, was that…?

You silently ran towards the creature, her features clearing the closer you got. There were ivory antlers, and there was a white, elongated, furry body. Then, there were four legs, a tail. Then, wisps of ribbons flowing from a glowing spot on her chest. They moved, though there was no wind.

Sensing you, she turned her head and stared at you with her big, blue eyes. All gray-blue, no sclera, just a ring of gold where her iris would be.

You stumbled to a halt and gaped. She was a deer- a stag, but not like any stag you had ever seen. She stood at eye-level with you, her gaze fathomless in a way that reminded you of Xion and Roxas. Her fur was a pearly white and thicker and fluffier than any usual deer, speckled with blue dots in the pattern of a juvenile fawn, with the exception of those on her snout and around her eyes. Her nose was gold, and though you weren’t sure, could there have been some specks of gold in her fur, too?

As your wide eyes scanned her body, you saw what you had thought were four legs was actually six, with the front two close together. The two front legs were hooves, but the back ones were paws of some sort. Something like a wolf’s, but the toes were longer. A lion’s tail anxiously whipped back and forth behind her. And then, her antlers. They moved every time you looked away, and you had to look away because looking at them caused you to feel uneasy, made you feel dizzy and nauseous. Like the waves rocking a boat.

Then, finally, the ribbons and star that sat, no, laid inside her chest. It split her open like a window, spilling out so much starlight it could blind you, but even though you could only take quick glances, you had the feeling it was staring back at you.

There were two separate ribbons that fanned out behind her, then curved and connected back to the star, or the eye, on the other side. They were sheer, something between voile and silk. There were glowing, white and gold dots spread-out in a line in the middle.

And, even through all of this, you knew who it was, “Naminé?”

She nodded, “You recognize me?” She said without moving her mouth, her voice reverbing oddly.

“Yeah, don’t know how, but yeah.” You gulped, “This is a rude question, but what are you?”

Her chin dipped low, “No one’s really sure. DiZ calls me an amalgam, or an In-Between. He says we’re similar like that. This is my True Form.”

“True Form?”

“Yes. Like a demon’s Corrupted Form and an angel’s Pure Form, but I’m the only one like me, and I’m both, but not either.” She lifted her head to meet your stare, “This is what I looked like when I was born. Before I was Shaped.”

There were myths here and there describing both demon’s and angel’s abilities to transform into monstrous forms, but like everything else, you thought they were made up.

Unable to handle your staring any longer, she looked away in shame, “Please don’t look at me that way. I know I look like a monster.”

You were shocked out of your amazement, “What? No!” You touched her snout and turned her gaze back to you with little resistance, “You’re beautiful, Nami. Like a spirit out of a fairy tale.”

She scoffed, but said no more for a moment, “The only other one who’s called me beautiful is Xion.”

You recoiled, “Xion?”

She flinched, but then she chuckled, “I keep forgetting you’re just a dream. Yes, Xion.”

It was your turn to scoff, slapping your palm to your forehead, “Of course _my_ dream would know who Xion is.”

 _"You’re_ the dream.”

“No, _you’re_ the dream.”

She rolled her large eyes, “Whatever you say.” Then, remembering what she was doing before you showed up, she turned her gaze back to the sky with tentative fear.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I sense a demon.” She said, “Close by.”

“I thought you said you can’t see demons.”

“I can’t, but I still have a connection to them. Demons can sense demons, and angels can sense angels, and I can sense both. I was hoping if I revert to this form I could figure out where he is, exactly, but” She sighed, “I can’t.”

You cocked your head, “You sound like you know him.”

Her expression turned dark, “I do.”

You wanted to ask more questions, but you could already feel reality slipping away, “Damn, times up already?”

“It’s because I can’t hold this form for long without losing focus. I have to wake myself up.” Though she was still anxious, you got the feeling she was smiling at you, “I’ll see you next time.”

“See you later.”

And you drowned yet again.

* * *

You awoke with a gasp, though you should have been used to the feeling of freefall by now. The _other_ woke up too, indignant from the rude awakening. When you had first gotten those dreams, you would wake up to its concern and fear hovering over your heart. It was still worried, but had gotten begrudgingly used it.

~~_"Where did you go?_ ~~

~~_"Don’t just get up and leave like that. When you go there, I can’t wake you up._ ~~

~~_"What if you never wake up again?"_ ~~

Those words couldn’t reach you yet, but touched your heart to calm it all the same.

With a sleepy sigh, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table and opened it. February ninth, the locked screen said. You ignored it and got halfway through typing your passcode before stopping.

“It's already almost Celestial Mourning?” You mumbled to yourself.

The Celestial Mourning was the day it rained and snowed for twenty-four hours all over the globe. It was said that the heavens were crying for the hundreds of angels that died in the Great War. Or, in other tales, that the heavens were providing water, therefore life, to the humans who were all that was left of the hearts that found their way to the barren soil.

The holiday itself was shaded with both retellings. At midnight, when the snow starts to fall, and all through the morning until noon, the devout would wear black and whisper prayers for peace and rest for not only the angels, but for friends and loved ones that had passed on. This phase was called The Reflection.

But in the afternoon and until the snow stops, The Thanks begins and the celebrations take full swing. Everyone is encouraged to wear bright colors and festivals take place in the streets. Music, dancing, food, art, and everything happy in-between. This was the time everyone would celebrate the fact they were alive, drinking and laughing to the angels’ names with gratitude in every word.

Ava, Invi, Aced, Gula, and Ira; The Masters, once said to be friends, clashed head-on with each other, sending almost all their followers to their deaths, including their own. There’s no one myth for why they did so. Some say that they got greedy, others say were tricked into thinking the other’s their enemy, some say paranoia made its way into their minds and turned each one against the other. But, no matter how the story started, it ended the same. They died. Each and every one of them. Though, there are whispers that some survived the battle and fell with the other hearts, but were not reborn human.

But those are just stories with a meaning. A story with a following and churches and bells. A story with prayers and love and hate and ire living in tandem and brawling with each other.

Those that do believe pray in Ava’s name. They pray for the others, too, but not like her. The Dandelions believe she is the reason those hearts came to earth and gave life to it, like seeds in the ground. And then, the few angels that continued to live wept for them, and rain came and came and came and didn’t stop until the first human came to be. Familiar eyes staring into the clearing sky, once dark and gray, now blue and bright.

A pretty story, a harsh story, but a story all the same. And yet, you looked forward to it every year, specifically the day after. When you went to the forest and watched the sunset over the untouched snow, just alone with you and your thoughts.

You hummed to yourself as you stretched your arms to the ceiling, listening to worrying pops in your shoulders and back.

The _other_ turned round and round beside your heart, and something about it reminded you of someone.

~~_"Do you really want to be alone?"_ ~~

The answer was no. You had been alone for so long, but you never actually wanted to be that way. The thought of watching that red sunset by yourself made you feel like you were suffocating in your own loneliness.

When you imagined this year’s sunset, you saw someone else with you. That red hair the same color as the rays reflecting off the snow.

The _other’s_ whoop of joy went unnoticed by you as you opened your chat with Lea.

_"Hey are you busy today? "_

Checking the time, you knew he was still asleep and wouldn’t answer for some time. And so was Hibi, she slept late, too. It was your day off, so why shouldn’t you?

You put your phone back and tucked back under the warm covers. The _other_ purred happily and snuggled in with you. As you drifted off, you swore you could feel fingers threading between your own.

* * *

A buzz against the bedside table woke you up. You groaned, somehow sleepier than you were when you got up before.

You pulled your phone over to the covers and blearily opened it. A new notification from Lea.

_"Nope you wanna come over?"_

With a little smile, you responded,

_"Can we meet outside your apartment first?"_

_"Something on your mind?"_

_"Kinda"_

_"Sure what time"_

You checked the time. It was a quarter past ten.

_"I dunno. Around 1?"_

_"sounds good. Let me know when youre on your way"_

* * *

He met you outside just as you had asked, having found a clean part of the curb to sit. He waved at you and you jogged over.

“So, what’s on your mind?” He asked as you took a seat beside him.

You felt bashfulness creep up on you, doubt telling you this was a stupid thing to ask him, “Well…”

“Oh, I know that face.” He pinched your cheek, “That’s the expression of retreat.” He gently tugged, “Go on, telllll meeeee.”

You batted his hand away with a grin. He always knew how to make you smile. “I was just thinking about tomorrow, y’know.”

“And what’s so special about tomorrow?”

“It’s Celestial’s Eve.” You explained, perplexed, “The day before Celestial Mourning? The day where, uh, it’s told that Great War ended?” He only stared. “When all the angels’ hearts fell to earth?”

That’s when it clicked, “That’s tomorrow?”

“The day after, but yeah.”

He hummed, eyes seeing something far off, “I almost forgot that was a thing.”

The _other_ moaned in grief. “Haven’t celebrated it recently?”

“Not in a _very_ long time.” He huffed, “Are you going to join the fun?”

You shook your head, “No, I don’t really celebrate it either. I might sneak in for some food, but I don’t stick around.”

“Then why bring it up?”

“Well, I do do something the day, well, _night_ after.” You couldn’t see it from the apartment, but you pointed in the direction of the sprawling forest, “I go to the park system and watch the sunset. There’s a hill there that gives the best view.” You spread your palms to the skyline, “The night after is always clear, no clouds or anything, and Twilight Town’s sunset is so orange and red, it makes the snow glow like fire. And then the stars and nebulas come out.” You wrapped your arms around your knees and rested your chin on them with a serene smile, “No one usually goes to the park then. The day before, everyone’s at home and in town, and then everybody’s recovering from terrible hangovers or staying home with family. So, the snow isn’t a mess.”

Realizing you were rambling, you tucked your face into your arms in embarrassment, “I go alone, but I was wondering if you’d like to come with me this year.”

Lea took a sharp breath, unnoticed by you, “Me?”

“Yeah, you.” You turned your head towards him, your cheek still on your knees, “I’d like you to be with me when I go. But I understand if you don’t want to.”

He swallowed thickly. Again, a familiar fire burned within him; attraction, plain and simple. He liked the way you smiled at him, liked the way you talked about things you were passionate about, things you wanted to share with him. It wasn’t romantic, not as far as he was aware, not like he had a heart to feel that anyway. But this was more than the casual amusement he got out of humans in his normal everyday routine. You were more. He just couldn’t place how or why.

And, like he did with most things he didn’t want to deal with, he shrugged those thoughts away, “Just you and me, huh?” He leaned into your space teasingly, “Scandalous. What are you planning on doing to me when we get there?”

Your cheeks went beet red and you pushed his face away with an aborted, mortified shriek, “That – _No!_ Not like that!”

A laugh rippled throughout his whole body, not a faux laugh that he used to keep appearances, but a real laugh.

“Lea!” You began to laugh, too, “Forget it, I’m not taking you!”

He chuckled more, rich and happy, “I take it back!” He grabbed your wrist and took your hand off his smiling face, “I’ll go with you.” And then, before he even understood the next three words, he said it and couldn’t take it back, “I’d love to.”

The _other_ cheered in a smartass _‘I told you so’_ way, not at you but at Lea’s shocked expression.

“Really?” You asked, unsure how to react to the combination of his words and his expression.

He nodded, smoothing himself out, “Yeah, really.” Then, he peered down at the lot and saw your car, “But I think we’re gonna take my car.”

You nodded, looking back and forth from your falling-apart-at-the-seams car and Lea’s trashy-but-still-better car. “Agreed.”

* * *

Lea stared out of the window from his mattress, hands in his lap. It was Celestial Mourning and the snow was coming down in big, fluffy flakes, had been since midnight. In other places, it was raining in a gentle, sad beat.

This was the anniversary of the final day of The Great Keyblade War. The day the once beautiful heaven of Daybreak Town became a Keyblade Graveyard. The day the last of the angels, so, so few in number, exhausted and miserable, laid down their holy weapons and refused to pick them up against their own ever again. Or, so the story went. Told down from Master to Master to their clutches.

He wasn’t born until after the war. Many millennia after, but as it was for every angel, there was a terrible ache when he thought back on that terrible tragedy. Or, there was supposed to, but he had long lost the ability to mourn.

 _Is it weird that I miss that?_ He thought to himself, watching the cold tears fall from the gray sky, _That I miss being able to feel that strongly about something, even sadness?_

He turned his eyes away to his palms. For thousands of years he hadn’t been able to feel much at all, then the kids appeared out of the Dark Margin, and slowly, something began to stir. The closer they got, the more it came. It was foreign, but familiar. Still muted, and it came and went, but the fact it was there at all was a miracle.

Of course, though. They were born from Sora; from Sora’s strong heart and strong emotions. Of course it would be them to grow hearts of their own, of course it would be them to breathe life into something dead and gone. Even Isa agreed, it was them. They were special like that. They were _amazing_ like that.

He cared for them after not caring for anybody for so long. They reminded him that he cared for Isa. And, he wondered if it was because of them that he had started to care for you. But, something in the back of his mind whispered that there might be something else.

Being around you also made him feel things he had forgotten, but it was so much more familiar than it was with Roxas and Xion. After carding through his memory, he knew he had never met you before that day. So why did it feel like he knew you?

He groaned, furiously rubbing his temples, “You’re so confusing!” And yet, he was looking forward to watching the sunset with you the next day.

He fell back against his mattress and picked up his phone. A quarter past eleven. Celestial Mourning was almost half over. Did he want to bring it up to Isa? … No. What use would that do? Remind him what he used to have and what he’s missing out on?

But Roxas and Xion… nah. It’s still too soon to go out to a huge party. He could lose them in the crowd or they could lose themselves in the noise. They had to be slowly integrated, one step at a time. Maybe next year he could take them to the festival. If they were lucky, Isa might be there to come, too.

He huffed and pressed his phone to his forehead. Many times he wished that demon senses were sharper, so that pinpointing others could be easier, but no. Just general areas to walk around with ice cubes between the shoulders. Or, in the kids’ case, freezing temperatures and a warm blanket. It was too easy to lose someone, which was both helpful and a hindrance. As much as he wanted to see their faces when they saw all the lights, he couldn’t risk losing them.

Well, whatever. It was time to get up, anyway.

* * *

You had been hanging out on the couch when Hibiki came out of her room wearing a type of kimono. It was a deep black with purple spider lilies on the sleeves and the lower half. Gold embroidery wove in and out, like little lights around the flowers. Fireflies.

“Oh wow.” You said, “What are you wearing?”

“It’s a yukata.” She turned a little to give you another angle, a mildly smug smile on her face, “Like it?”

“It’s beautiful. Where’d you get it?”

“My mom made it for me.” She smiled, then, “You aren’t going?”

“To…?” Then, you remembered, “Oh, the festival?”

“Where else?” She snickered, “You coming or not?”

Twiddling your thumbs, you mumbled, “I… don’t usually.”

She cocked an eyebrow at you expectantly. This wasn’t just a question, it was an invitation, you realized. Your stomach did a little, nervous flop. It had been a while since you had fully participated in Celestial Mourning, but, with Hibi there…

“Might not be so bad. Okay.” Then, you frowned down at your lounge clothes, “But I don’t have anything fancy to wear.”

She crossed her arms, “Does it really matter? Just go put on your favorite shit. And hurry up, got it?”

You jumped off the couch and raced to your room, “Okay!”

When you returned, wearing your favorite winter outfit, she opened the door and pulled you outside by the arm with a grin. “I got us a lift, let’s go!”

Trying to find a parking spot anywhere near a festival was notoriously difficult, and when you pulled up to the fences, you saw getting someone else to drive was a much better decision.

The Tram Common was decorated to the brim with lanterns and fairy lights, glowing dimly in the afternoon gray. They would burn brightly by the time the sun went down. Stalls lined the wide streets, selling food and jewelry and homemade art and linens, as well as toys and masks for the kids. It was bustling with families with small children, and as evening rolled around, they would leave and be replaced with the night crowd.

All the shows and performances were free, and every stall had a few free items, as it was custom for no one to leave hungry and unhappy. This was the day everyone came together to give one another joy.

You and Hibiki walked around for a bit, grabbing some freebies before they were all gone. The most popular free foods were candied fruits on sticks, roasted meats and veggies on skewers, and sweets like funnel cakes with powdered sugar and popsicles. There were some special freebies for some stalls, like banana cue and khachapuri from cultural stands.

“Free bungeo-ppang!” Hibiki crowed and hastily nabbed one, “Now if only they had crepes.”

“We’ll probably find a stall that does, but don’t expect it’ll be free.” You said, looking over the whole plaza, “We haven’t even gotten through a third of the places here.”

“Mmm.” She chewed, savoring the red bean flavor, “This is nothing. San Fransokyo and Radiant Garden have huge ones.”

“Radiant Garden?”

She gulped loudly and coughed, her expression tightened, “Yeah. Had... I guess.”

“Oh.” That explained a lot. The way she bared her teeth at the news when they talked about the Heartless, how cagey she got when talks edged towards her past. No wonder she didn’t want to talk about it. She was a refugee.

Unsure of what else to do, you put your arm in hers and gave her a smile, “I’m glad you’re here, Hibi. I’m thankful you’re alive.”

It was customary to show how grateful you were that those close to you were alive the same time you were, how happy you were that your times aligned with each other, even if only briefly. To tell someone “I’m thankful you’re alive” on Celestial Mourning was the same as saying, “I’m grateful I’ve had the chance to meet you” or, “Thank you for being my friend”.

She understood immediately, and a mournful smile spread across her features, “Yeah.” She said, as you walked down the street, arm in arm, “I’m thankful you’re alive, too.”

Night came quick, as it often does in winter, and the music got louder and lights got brighter and the crowds got noisier. You did finally find a crepe stand and ate as you watched a performance on one of the stages. It was a ceremonial dance portraying humans and angels dancing together, finding new life after such bleak devastation.

“Are you a believer?” You asked Hibiki after wiping some whipped cream off your face, “I didn’t think you’d celebrate Celestial Mourning.”

She shrugged as she chewed her strawberry crepe, “Nah. Not my thing. But my mom and I’ve done The Thanks for as long as I can remember.”

Something in her voice said there was something else, but you didn’t press, “For the fun of it, then?”

“Yeah. I don’t give a rat’s ass about all the angel shit.” She turned her eyes up to the snowfall. One landed on her nose and she grinned softly, “We’re just celebrating being alive, right? That’s something I can get behind.”

Last Celestial Mourning, would you have thought the same thing as you hid in your apartment, watching the lights flicker from your window, alone?

A wobbly smile pressed against your cheeks, “Yeah. I feel the same way.”

* * *

The evening after Celestial Mourning, Lea knocked on Isa’s door and opened it, “Hey, I’m going out. I’ll be back after nightfall.”

“Where are you headed off to?” He asked, peaking out of his beloved heated blanket.

“Out with Y/N.” He said, zipping up his new jacket which had appeared under mysterious circumstances, “We’re going to that forest-park thing.”

Isa lifted a thinning brow, “Is that so?”

He fixed him with a glare, “Yes.”

Isa said nothing, but Lea got the message loud and clear.

“Shut up. It’s not a date.”

With a sharp-tooth grin, Isa returned to his nest, “Have fun.”

“I will.” Lea sing-songed back.

* * *

“Hey, Hibi,” You knocked on her bedroom door, “I’m going out with Lea today. I should be back before ten.”

The second his name was past your lips there was the sound of hurried movement and the door was thrown open, revealing the angry imp herself. She narrowed her eyes at you, “If this is a date, so help me – “

“It’s not!” You rolled your eyes, “We’re just going out as friends.”

She growled low in her throat. You still had no idea how she did that. “Okay, but if you’re not back by ten, I’m going to call.”

“If I don’t answer, you can come rescue me.” You said, “See you later.”

“Okay. And for _fuck's sake,_ please be careful.”

“I will, I will. Someday I’m going to ask why you don’t like him and I’m gonna get an answer from you.”

“Maybe one day, kid. Get home safe.”

* * *

The drive was going to take about thirty minutes, plus about ten more minutes of walking, but when you broke the news to Lea he was unbothered by it. Even when you brought up how underdressed he was for the trip – no winter boots or heavy pants for the snow, he just waved his hand and said he’d be fine.

You felt bad, “Are you sure? It’s not fun when snow gets in your socks.”

“I’m fiiiine. The cold's never bothered me.”

Reluctantly, you folded, “I’m still shocked you’re not dead by now from your blood boiling you from the inside-out.”

“Maybe one day.” He turned his face to you to wink before looking back at the road. “Bet you’ll be sad, though.”

“Maybe.” You admitted.

The line of trees grew closer, as did a few signs on the side of the road that read:

GrayView Park

Followed by:

SPEED LIMIT

15MPH

Don’t Feed Wild Animals

Only YOU Can Stop Forest Fires

“GrayView?” Lea said, amused, “I thought Twilight Town was all about warm colors. I’ve seen so much red and gold I see it in my sleep.”

“Dunno. Wasn’t my idea.”

You passed the tree line. The roads had been cleared in the night, but other than that no one had been up there to visit. Snow and bare trees surrounded you, funneling on either side of the road. Even frozen over, the forest was beautiful.

There had always been something about the forest that people found ethereal, something serene. It was untouched by the city, no matter who tried to mow it down to build a new mall. There was only ever been one major accident that you knew of: a businessman had really set his sights on GrayView forty or so years back and did everything he could to try to make some sort of high-end lodge, but no one would allow it. People who grew up in Twilight Town revered the woods and didn’t want anyone touching it. But he wasn’t going to give up easily, and so he tried to set something up without the local government knowing.

Far into the woods, he thought he had found the perfect foundation, the abandoned mansion. He disappeared for a month, and when he returned he was starved and lost in his head. He publicly denounced the park, saying that it was some sort of separate dimension, a labyrinth of white on white on white. People labelled him insane and he left town in disgrace shortly thereafter.

There were some rumors about how the mansion deep in the woods was haunted by a spirit that protected the forest, and that’s why people wanted to keep it safe so badly. However, you had actually found the mansion once when you were a teenager.

You couldn’t get in, the gate was locked tight, but you didn’t want to in the first place. There was something incredibly, deeply weird about it. No birds sang, no squirrels chittered, and it was the middle of Spring. The colors around it dimmed, the trees were less green, the golden light faded into silver, even the wind didn’t touch your skin.

You left almost as quickly as you found it. You knew the story and you heard the rumors and you weren’t about to get your ass haunted for bragging rights. Whatever was in that mansion, you didn’t think it was particularly benevolent.

Shortly after entering the park, Lea gasped sharply.

“You okay?” You asked.

He shook his head, playing it off, “Nothing.” But you saw a shiver run down his spine.

“Okay…”

There was a gradual shift in his posture the further you drove into the winding forest. It started with his shoulders tensing, then his spine curving, his fingers gripping the wheel, then his jaw clenching, and finally, his eyes shifting from side to side, as if searching for something.

“Lea?” You asked, touching his shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He replied way too quickly to be convincing, “I think we should go, though. I’m not feeling real well.”

“Oh,” You said disappointedly, but despite how much you wanted to see the sunset on the snow, you said, “Okay, let’s go. There’s a fork up about a mile or so. If we take the left we’ll make our way back.”

He nodded stiffly, pressing just a little harder on the gas.

“Lea, really, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine. Just, uh,” he floundered, “my stomach’s starting to hurt. And I’m getting nervous about ice. These tires are old.”

You knew better than to be convinced, but you relented, “Alright…”

There was a period of silence as he drove, taking the directions back to town. The twilight was sinking in, turning the white trees red as the sky got steadily darker. There was something eerie about it in a way you couldn’t explain. Just one of those bad feelings you get before something goes _disastrously_ wrong. Your self-preservation instincts were blaring, but you didn’t know why.

Then, just as the sun was about to dip under the horizon, you turned a bend to find a stranger standing in the middle of the road. It was hard to make out anything, as he was standing in the shadows of the trees and oncoming night, but something about him was misshapen, especially in the torso.

Lea braked hard with a choked gasp. If it weren’t for your seatbelt you would’ve hit the dash.

“Lea?!” You coughed, “Are you oh - ?”

You had never seen him so terrified and enraged. He was gaping at the man in the street, then lightning fast he put the car in reverse and slammed on the gas.

“Hold on!” He snarled, managing to drive backwards while still keeping the stranger in sight.

After your shock had faded, you saw the man you had nearly run over running at _you._ At first he was keeping up, and then he was picking up speed. The closer he got, the more you could make out, such as two long, slim horns protruding from a head of long hair.

 _“What the fuck!?”_ You shrieked, pushing back into your seat, _“What the fuck?!_ ”

“Just hold on! Everything’ll be okay!” Lea screamed behind his elongating fangs, “I’m gonna get us out of here!”

That’s when what you had mistook as a warped body unfurled, revealing two huge, feathered wings. They flapped once and the figure was gone, only for the car to shake a second later when he landed on the roof.

Lea cursed, braking hard in an attempt to shake him off before shifting gear again and taking off back down the road at high speed, but the bogey was still latched on tight.

There was a screech of metal and you found your head forced down to your knees with Lea’s hand on the back of it. He shouted and the car swerved. When you picked up your head you saw that he had narrowly missed driving straight into the trees.

The roof of the car was ruined, a huge gash ran along it from back to front.

 _“Fucking pink-ass proper bitch!_ ” He roared, and you witnessed him put his hand to the slash and a jet of fire explode from his palm. The heat was strong enough to give you a light sunburn from where you were sitting.

You didn’t have time to digest it. There was a crunch of something falling off, then, the tires squealed in protest and your car came to a sudden halt. Looking behind you, you saw the figure stalling the car by holding the bumper with his own two hands.

Illuminated by the rear lights, it was revealed that he was devastatingly beautiful. Long, thick pink hair and a round, strong face. He was built like a tree, thick arms and chest but slim waisted. His black, iridescent wings were fanned out behind him. His cold blue eyes were darkened by thick lashes, and something in them made you scream aloud.

The car lifted off the ground, and suddenly you were in the air. And then, you weren’t.

In a smoke of black, purple and red, Lea broke the front window into tiny shards, ripped your seatbelt in two and took you into his arms. He leapt out of the destroyed vehicle and you were safe on the ground. Then, he was running. Trees zoomed by in blurs, he was able to take hairpin turns without missing a single step, jumping over trunks and roots without pause.

The scene took about five seconds.

With no alternative, your arms wound around his shoulders and you pressed against his hot chest. A small piece of your mind took in the information that he was no longer wearing the clothes he had on before, but that was hardly relevant and was quickly discarded.

Then, without warning, a tree root shot up out of the ground and made to grab Lea, but it was quickly dodged. But with it came another, and another, and then the whole forest was coming after you both.

A terrible growl ripped through Lea’s throat and let go of you with one hand and swept a tongue of flame around you both, so strong it incinerated all it touched. If the forest hadn’t been frozen over, it would’ve been set ablaze.

He ran a little more then set you down on your unsteady feet, “I know this is a lot, but you’ve got to run!”

You were shaking, hardly able to understand what you were seeing. This was Lea. This was _Lea_ . But it wasn’t Lea. Was it Lea? Who is Lea? _What_ is Lea?

He took you by the shoulders and shook you out of it, “You need to run!”

“B - But what about you?” You heard yourself whimper.

Viper eyes softened, then hardened again, “I can take care of myself. You need to go. _Now!”_ He pushed you away, _“Go!”_

Unable to form any protests, you could only nod, and you turned on your heel. You stumbled that first two steps, but then you found yourself running. It felt so slow after being carried in his arms, like you were running through a swamp, everything around you was like moving through jell-o.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears and it hurt to take in air, but you kept running. You _had_ to keep running. And you did until you physically couldn’t anymore.

You collapsed against a tree, then threw yourself away from it, terrified it would come alive. But it didn’t. It was just a frost-covered tree.

Loose from all the running and the fall, your phone fell out of your pocket. You didn’t notice until you leaned on your hands on the snow and touched it. You flinched away from it, then gasped.

“I – Isa.” You could barely speak, opening your phone with trembling hands. After three attempts, you pulled up Isa’s contact, “Pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up! Pick up!”

After the fourth ring, his sleepy voice touched your ears, “Y/N?”

You sobbed, “Isa, Lea – he’s – we – “ You took a deep breath to try to calm your hysterics, “We’re getting attacked!”

“What?” He barked sharply.

“Some guy – he had wings – _fucking wings_ – he wrecked the car – we’re in the woods – Lea’s back there!” You gasped and looked back the way you came, “Oh hell, he’s still back there!”

Isa took this a lot better than you expected he would, “He’ll be fine, he can handle himself, _now where are you?”_

“In – In the forest.”

“Yes, but _where?_ ”

“I – I dunno.” Then, a thought occurred to you and you put him on speaker phone and pulled up your map app. The load time was agonizing as you sat in the cold, quiet forest. Then, your location popped up. “I’m fourteen miles from the entrance.” You swallowed your bile and texted him the spot.

There was a pause as he received the message, “Don’t move, I’ll be right – “ He cut himself off, then, in a pained whisper, “I can’t go. I can’t – “ Then, with rage you didn’t know he was capable of, he roared. It was loud, guttural, inhuman, and ended in a croak. 

“I can’t help you.” He whispered, “Dammit, I can’t!”

Then, muffled voices and Isa’s own disjointed replies to them.

“Isa? Isa?”

“Absolutely not!” You heard him snap.

The other voices rose in pitch to match him and you recognized them. Roxas and Xion.

“We have to help them!”

“We can fight, too!”

“If they know you’re here they will stop at nothing to capture you!” Isa snarled, “You cannot be seen!”

“So we’re just going to leave them to die?!” Roxas shouted.

“Lea can handle it!” Then, into the phone, “How many of them were there?”

“Just one.” You answered breathlessly, “Isa, you know what’s going on?”

“I do.” He answered in resignation, “Did you get a good look at them?”

“Y - Yeah,” You answered as a cold wash ran over you, “He had pink hair, long horns.”

“Marluxia.” He whispered to himself, relief and apprehension conflicted in his voice, “But you said you were in the forest.”

“Yeah.”

 _“Fuck.”_ He muttered and went silent as the twins’ voices warred again.

Your heartbeat drummed in your ears and everything felt so far away. Your body was becoming numb, your own mind was out of your reach. Nothing felt real.

You lifted your hand and slapped yourself in the face, hard. If it was a dream, you would have woken up as sharp pain stung your cheek, but you didn’t. It wasn’t a dream. You were awake. This _was_ real.

Isa’s voice returned, “It’s up to Lea. There’s nothing we can do.” Ignoring Roxas and Xion’s protests, he continued, “Stay on the phone, Y/N, and get back to town. If you sense something cold, anything at all, hide straight away. _Do not hang up.”_

You had no other choice. With leaden legs, you trudged through the snow back towards town.

“But Lea…” You heard your voice echo.

“He’ll be fine. He’s the most cunning of us all; if he can’t beat him, he’ll lose him. Just trust in him.”

Hot tears rolled down your tingling cheeks, “I do.”

* * *

Lea summersaulted backwards, away from the cold roots reaching for him. They were slow from the winter, and there wasn’t any other vegetation to grab him. Lucky. If it had been Spring, one wrong move and he would’ve been strangled.

A near silent flap of wings alerted him to his enemy and he leapt up high, summoning his chakrams in a swirl of flames as he did so. A long, deadly scythe whistled through the air with precision. If he had been two seconds slower, he would’ve been cut in two.

Marluxia landed on the ground, kicking up the thick snow from the impact. He was just as poised as ever, as if it were just another day weeding his garden. His silk shoulder cape whipped behind him as petals danced to the snowy ground.

Lea angled upward to kick off a tree and shoot straight at him, throwing a chakram as he did so. But Marluxia twisted away from its trajectory, the heat singing his sleeve. He wasn’t given a chance to catch his breath when Lea pounced on him, aggressively attacking him with his other chakram, making Marluxia back up without room to move against him.

In a puff of flame, Lea’s other weapon returned to him. He spun, throwing his weight behind both weapons, only to meet the long handle of Marluxia’s scythe. Flames scorched against it as the weapons clashed, but Marluxia dug in his heels.

“So, this middling world hasn’t made you soft after all. I would have thought you’d have lost your touch by now.” Marluxia observed.

“Hate to see you too, pansy bitch.” Lea sneered, then opened his mouth and his throat glowed bright orange and red before a funnel of flame shot out of his maw.

Marluxia grunted and sinuously retreated further into the trees. With a bitter smile, he pinched away the embers in his hair.

Lea made to go after him, but couldn’t move his right foot. A root had crept up on him and wrapped around his ankle.

Hearing swift movement, he brought his chakrams up just in time for the scythe to screech against them. Focusing his fire around his leg, the root burst into ash and he was able to spread his leathery wings and take off into the sky, away from the trees.

Irritated to be driven from home-ground, Marluxia followed and swung his scythe in an upwards arc, but failed to cleave Lea up the middle.

Lea grinned viciously, having made some distance between them with a flap of his dark wings, and threw his chakrams before the blade finished its swing. They caught Marluxia in the chest and spun, the sharp points ripping into him, both burning him to a broiling crisp and slashing his torso to ribbons.

Marluxia gasped in pain. It had been so long since he had felt it, not since the Keyblade War so very, very long ago.

Shocked to his core from the agony and pinned by the chakrams, it was a surprise to himself that he was even able to stay in the air. Then, Lea appeared, gripping the weapons and stopping them, three inches into his chest. Black blood stained Marluxia’s chest and skin, as hard as marble, sloughed off in mucous-like patches from the burns.

“Can’t say I’ll miss you.” Lea said bitterly, “I never liked your face.”

Panting, Marluxia chuckled breathlessly, “And you’re still an obnoxious child. Thinking you’ve won before the battles over.”

Lea gasped, then roared, pulling the chakrams up through his ribs for the finishing blow, but he hadn’t noticed Marluxia’s scythe had disappeared in a cloud of petals until it was too late. The enemy gripped the chakrams, suffering the scorching heat on his palms, and pushed himself off, what was left of his chest tearing away in wet, tarry clumps. With a rueful smile, he plummeted back to the earth below.

With a growl, Lea followed him to a cluster of frozen trees. He landed lightly on the snow, but Marluxia was nowhere to be seen.

Then, a hiss, “There was a human with you, wasn’t there?”

His lungs tightened and he threw a chakram in the direction the whisper came from, demolishing a tree. It fell with a creek, then a thud, but the other demon wasn’t there.

“Why would that be?” His smooth voice wondered from the growing shadows of nightfall, “I knew you’d always been a bit fond of them, little playthings for you to use and then discard.”

Another tree fell, echoing against its brothers.

“But this one. You _saved_ this one.”

And yet another tree fell.

“Are you keeping appearances?”

And another.

“Or do you think you’re capable of _actually_ caring for another?”

And more even still continued to fall.

“You know you can’t.”

The forest was steadily becoming less and less dense.

“We don’t have hearts to care with.”

Even with all the destruction, Lea still had yet to pinpoint Marluxia.

“And you’re selfish. Always have been.”

At this rate, the forest would soon be no more.

“Fuck you!” Lea bit out, _“Fuck you!_ You pompous asshole! You don’t know me!”

“You still play emotions. It’s just as pathetic as it was thousands of years ago, and it still is now.”

Lea shouted, tearing another tree in two, “How’d you find me?!”

“You think I’d waste my time looking for someone as insignificant as you?”

The ground shook under another tree’s weight.

“I was looking for something else entirely. But, good to know you’re here.”

The sea of trees was thinning into a puddle.

“If _you’re_ here, then what you stole shouldn’t be far behind.”

And yet still, another fell to the forest floor with a hollow crack. He waited for another whisper, another backhanded comment, another menacing warning, but it never came. The ice cube pressed between his shoulder blades melted away. Marluxia was gone, for now. He was left in a graveyard of broken stumps.

Then, dread. All _dread_. They’d been found.

“Y/N.” He gasped and leapt into the air, sending snowflakes into the air.

* * *

You shivered in your coat, the cold seeping into your legs where your boots couldn’t cover. It hadn’t been long, you could tell, but it felt like an eternity all the same. You couldn’t say how far you had walked, couldn’t tell if you were any closer to town. Your mind was both blank and consumed by a spinning wheel of thoughts:

What had attacked you? What did they want? What was Lea? What did Isa know? Is Lea okay? _Is he okay?_ _Please_ let him be okay. I want to get home okay. I don’t want to die alone in this forest. _What was going on?_

Isa stayed on the phone, asking you occasional questions to keep your mind on track. But you couldn’t voice any of these questions choked in your throat. They were stuck there, suffocating you.

The _other_ was fluttering in panic while trying to calm and comfort you at the same time. There was the sensation of something trying to break free, but then searing pain, the _other’s_ pain. It wanted to help, to protect you, but it couldn’t. It didn’t have the strength.

Then, a shadow against the moon’s pale light shrouded you. You gasped and clumsily ran, scrambling for somewhere to hide on your frozen legs.

“Wait!” A familiar voice cried.

You stopped so fast you ended up tripping, but a strong hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back before you could fall.

You yanked away and he let you go. You stumbled back and turned to him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

Lea stood before you, both familiar and unrecognizable. Sharp, black horns curved on either side of his head. Long, tattered, bat-like wings were folded behind him. His fingers ended in talons and his ears were long and pointed.

He wore little, all black patterned with gray diamonds along some of the seams. Something almost like a jacket made of leather on his torso with a high collar and two straps criss crossing under his pecs. The rest was asymmetrical; it cut off on his left shoulder, but there was a full sleeve on his right arm. His low-riding pants were of the same material, with a full pants leg on the left leg and the right leg cut short. Even his boots didn’t match, the right leg going above the knee and the left one just below it. A red and silver belt kept it up.

Symmetrical dark tattoos in the shape of swirling flames curved on his pectorals, then another below them that curved around his abs. Tattoos of reverse raindrops hung on each cheek.

But his eyes. Still green like freshly cut grass, but his pupils were like that of a snake and fire red, glowing in the dim night.

“Lea?” You whispered in shock, a twinge of fear tainting your voice.

He hunched in on himself, trying so hard to be smaller than he was, “It’s me. I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise.” When he opened his mouth, you saw rows of sharp teeth.

Hesitantly, you stepped a little closer. The _other_ burned like a warm fireplace.

_"Trust in him._

_"Trust in_ me _. Please."_

And, slowly, you did. His face was that of Lea's. His warmth was Lea's. His hair, his green irises, his freckles. He was Lea. Despite everything, he was still Lea.

The tears finally came, “Lea!” You whined and ran to him, pressing your face into his chest, your hands curled on both sides of your head and sobbed, “I was so scared! Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay?!”

It was his turn to be shocked into fear. Trembling, his hand wound around the back of your head, threading through your hair, “I’m okay, he didn’t even get a punch in.” He whispered gently, “Sorry I scared you.”

You sniffed and pulled back so you didn’t get snot on him, “Thank heaven.” Trembling, you asked, “Lea, what are you?”

He flinched away, unable to look you in the eye, “Ever heard of demons?”

Your body went numb, “Really? _That’s_ what you are?”

He nodded grimly, “I’ll explain everything, but we gotta go. Marluxia might call in reinforcements.” Then, with great regret, “We’re running out of time.”

After a pause, you nodded your head, “Okay, let’s get out of here.”

Only then did you hear Isa’s muffled and insistent voice from your phone you forgot was still in your hand. You put him on speaker.

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you there?”

“I’m here.” You replied, “Lea’s with me.”

“Is he okay?”

“I’m fine, Isa.” Lea said, “It was Marluxia. He knows we’re here now.”

Isa cursed morosely, “We have to leave. Immediately.”

“They saw me with Y/N.” He said, and it was followed with heavy silence, “They’ll come after them.”

You went cold all over. “Really?”

He closed his eyes, “I’ve got no doubt about it.”

Isa took a shaky breath, “Then we’ll have to bring them with us.”

“What?” You gasped.

“We can’t leave you to the wolves. I refuse to.”

“We’ll continue this later.” Lea interrupted, “We’re coming back to the apartment. Give the news to Roxas and Xion.”

“I will. Get back safe.”

“No promises but I’ll try.”

You hung up the phone. Lea opened his arms and picked you up bridal-style with ease, “Hold on tight.”

“I will.” You vowed, and you flew into the calm night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally getting into the meaty part :')


	7. The Forbidden Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you know is a lie, and Lea shares what he knows.  
> Parts of truths. Parts of lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT!!! Just got a little bumpy there is all! Thanks honeyishtar for beta-ing part of it!  
> A big part of this is first-person, as it is a flashback from Lea's perspective. I know that can be a turn off, but there is a lot of important world building and lore in that section!

Lea set you down on the roof of his apartment building, yet, you had a hard time letting go. You gripped his shoulders with shaking fingers, staring at his collarbone but not seeing it at all. 

He said your name, but got no response. Gently, he peeled your fingers off of him and held your hands between the two of you, “We’ve got to get inside.”

You nodded numbly and he lowered your hands and let them go. In a gentle tornado of purple and black smoke, licks of fire in between the folds, he once again looked like a human. He wore what he had on before, his pupils were no longer slits, but when the moonlight hit them you could see a flash of blood red. 

When you focused on his face, it was still him. But he looked so sad.

He shut his eyes and walked past you, “Come on.” 

You knew he wanted to hurry, but your legs could only do so much at the time. How were you even standing? But he took it slow so you could keep up. Impatient, but waiting for you still. 

When you got to the apartment, he fished out his keys and opened the door. On the other side, you saw Roxas jumping to his feet and a flash of light, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“Axel!” He gasped and was on Lea in less than a second. He hugged him tight, burying his face into his chest, “Dammit!” He choked, “Fuck!”

“I know.” Lea whispered, cupping the back of his head, “Let’s get inside.”

Roxas backed off and sniffed, “Yeah.” When the door was closed behind you, he threw his arms around you, “I’m so sorry.” His chest heaved against you, “You shouldn’t ever had – Fuck – Shit! Shit!” 

You held him back, feeling the tears bead in the corners of your eyes, “It’s not your fault.”

“But it is!” He was shaking now, “It’s because of me and Xion. If we weren’t – “

Lea karate chopped him on the top of the head and he yelped. “Stop that. Right now.” His expression twisted into an angry grimace, “It’s no one’s fault but that motherfucking wrinkly bald-ass bastard.”

“True.” 

You hadn’t noticed Isa and Xion were in the room until Isa spoke. Xion had been huddling in the hallway, holding two bulging backpacks, and Isa was sitting on the couch.

When you met eyes with Xion, they dropped the bags and ran to you, hugging you around the middle, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” They murmured wetly, “I’m sorry we couldn’t – that we – “

You tucked your cheek against their dark hair, “Not your fault.”

“No, you don’t understand!” They sobbed, pulling away to look you in the eye, “The demons will come for you because of us! If you weren’t involved – “

 _“Stop_ it!” Lea growled, circling around you to take them by the shoulders, “It's. Not. Your. Fault. No one in this room is guilty of anything.” Then, he wilted and pushed their bangs out of their face, “We knew this could happen, so we’re prepared to move. If we’ve got everything, lets – “

Then, a cold chill went down your spines. With sharp gasps, they all turned to Isa, who was curled in on himself and groaning, holding his head between his hands. He moaned weakly in agony, and, to your utter terror, his hair turned grayer than it was before.

Lea cursed and was by his side so fast you didn’t even register that he moved. He knelt before his friend, “Isa! Isa, you’ve got to fight him!”

A choked breath rattled in his lungs, “I – I – “

Roxas and Xion stood on either side of Lea, hard lines on their scared faces. They were prepared for something to attack. _Isa?_ Did they really think Isa could hurt anybody like this? This last week he could barely make a fist.

Wait… why did you call him when you knew this?

“What’s going on?” You asked, rushing to the couch, but once you saw Isa you found you couldn’t move at all.

Two horns were sprouting from his hairline, his nails were becoming sharp as knives, digging into his temples. His teeth, grit together in a pained grimace, were growing into wolfish fangs. “Get… back!” He rumbled, eyes squeezed shut, “Y/N, get… away!”

“Calm down, Isa, come on!” Lea pleaded.

Roxas and Xion shared a look, and Roxas nodded towards the hallway. Then, Xion was gone, then back again in a blink of an eye. They were carrying Isa’s heated blanket in their arms, quickly plugging it in then throwing it over him. Roxas wrapped it around Isa, then held him around his stomach.

“Fight him!” Roxas hissed, _“Fight him!”_

Xion stood behind Lea, once again in a defensive position, but their eyes were wet with unshed tears, “You can do it!” 

The _other_ was struck with horror and was sobbing so hard if it had a voice it would have lost it. It wanted to be close to him, it wanted to help him. 

_"Please! Help me help him!"_

Despite Isa’s warnings, you made yourself move towards him. You knelt beside Lea, and reached out and touched his knee, unable to say a word. The _other_ glowed bright, burning like it had when you were at the clocktower, but it wasn’t burning you. Its warmth travelled through your arms to your fingertips until it finally met him. 

Isa gasped aloud, his eyes blew open wide, the amber piercing the dim light of the apartment. Then, the glow faded, leaving him wheezing and struggling for air. 

Xion wrapped their arms around him and held him tightly while Roxas rubbed his bony back. Lea sighed in relief, tucking his chin to his collarbone.

Slowly, Isa recovered, and he turned the full weight of his gaze on you. Your hand retreated back to your side when those pale blue pupils warped and fluttered. 

“You’re… one, too?”

Dark horns sprouted from above his temples, curving back above his ear, then reached up towards each other until their ends were merely inches apart. His fingers ended in talons and his teeth, though no less sharp, were more like a wolf’s compared to Lea’s many long snake fangs. There was shifting underneath the blanket from behind him. Wings.

But when you stared into his eyes, there was a pervasive sense of _wrong_. The amber moved within the iris, like a kaleidoscope, warring with the other colors within it. The _other_ recoiled in fear and outrage. The other times you had been around Isa, you had thought it just didn’t like him, but now you knew that was wrong. It was in fear _for_ him.

Ignoring your question, because the answer was obvious, he asked, “What did you do?”

“I don’t know.” You said, shaking your head.

He turned his face away, then shook his own head, “No, it wasn’t you. Couldn’t have been.” He touched Xion’s shoulder, then Roxas’, “I’ll be fine. For now. Thank you.”

They said nothing, only sank to either side of him on the couch. They wouldn’t meet your eyes.

The confusion, the adrenaline, it was unbearable, “What was that?” You asked, then, louder, “What is going on?!” To Lea, “Please, tell me!”

He didn’t lift his head from his chest, only closed his eyes. Then, two swirls of black and purple smoke, and beams of sunlight splitting the seams. When they were gone, so was Roxas and Xion, and at the same time, they sat there with tears in their eyes.

Roxas sat closest to you, but he was in a slouch, his whole body turned away from you as he glared at the floor, and Xion was on the far side of Isa, sitting on the edge of the cushions, their hands clasped together.

Now, you could really tell that they were twins. Black ram horns sprouted from the sides of their heads, Roxas’s curving out and Xion’s curling forward. Their ears were pointed, but also covered in fur, and fluffy lion tails dangled off the couch tucked close to their legs, all the same color as their hair. 

Their clothes were similar, though inverted. Where Xion had black, Roxas had white, and where Roxas had rich red, Xion had dark blue. 

They were covered from neck to toe. Their shoes were strange, ending in pointed, metal toe guards, silver for Roxas and gold for Xion. Their pants were a little baggy and fell below the knees, synched to their calves. They wore thin turtlenecks under their jackets, which were the weirdest part of their outfits. Their collars sprouted into living ribbons that ended in knife sharp edges, as did the bottom part of their jackets, gold and silver. They moved in the non-existent wind.

Then, their eyes. That same blue you could walk into and never return from, but their pupils were goat’s, the color of the light of sunset. Their sclera was completely black. 

For the first time, you felt the cold they carried, threatening to tear right into you, but at the same time it protected you. You were safe under their blanket. The chill would never hurt you.

Roxas wouldn’t speak, so it was Xion who had to tell you, “We’re demons. All four of us.” They lowered her head and croaked, “I’m sorry.”

A breath you hadn’t realized you were holding left you in a great _whoosh_. You felt faint, and for a second it almost felt like you had, but you only wobbled dangerously for a moment before coming back.

But Isa was already reaching out for you, only to wail in exhaustion and pain. He would have fallen right off the couch if Roxas and Xion hadn’t grabbed him and pulled him back.

You were halfway up to catch him before they carefully pushed him into the cushions. You could only stare at his pale, sweaty face, “What the hell just happened?”

His tired eyes opened, “I won’t be able to move for a while. I need to rest until I get my strength back. If I push myself again…” He trailed off, but everyone understood except you.

Your hands balled into fists, “Then you have time to explain all of this to me.” You turned your sharp glare to Lea, “I need to know. Why do we have to run away? Why did they attack us? Why” Your rattled mind couldn’t supply anymore, so you just repeated, “Why?”

Unable to look at you, clouds of purple, black, and fire spun around him, and his demon form took his place. “I said I’d explain.” He said quietly, staring at the couch, “But first, what do you know about The Fall?”

* * *

What You Knew

The Fall took place many millennia after the Great War, after angels had moved to a new heaven and somewhat repopulated. For a time, there was peace between them, then two Masters found themselves in a struggle with each other.

One believed in absolute light, and taught this to his pupils. The other believed in absolute darkness, and did the same to his own. Tensions began to arise, more and more so every day. The Master of Light and Master of Darkness argued ceaselessly, trying and failing to sway the other into their way of thinking.

Finally, the Master of Darkness relented, or seemed to, but it was all a clever disguise. One by one, he turned the Master of Light’s pupils against him with pretty words and promises. He even took hold of the few that had survived the Great War. Eventually, they outnumbered the angels four times over.

When the Master of Darkness felt the time was at hand, he staged a coup to destroy the other angels. But the angels were lucky. He made the crucial mistake of making the bulk of his army act as diversions, destroying heaven and causing chaos. 

He and those he brought attacked and managed to injure two, but the Master of Light and his Firstborn, enraged by this betrayal, managed to hold their ground and forced them to retreat. 

And so, fifteen angels fell, not to earth, but to hell. The Master of Darkness surrounded them all in it and their forms corrupted into something unrecognizable and were born again as demons.

The Fifteen have no names that we know of, and just like the angels above, we know little of them. We call them by their numbers and rank. 

The Master of Darkness, and Zero to Thirteen.

There were only four angels remaining in the smoking heaven, but we know of only The Master of Light and the Firstborn. We assume that the remaining two were also his pupils.

We do not know what became of heaven after The Fall, though many hope they were able to rebuild. The demons, however, built a castle in hell, with The Master of Darkness as it’s king. Many hope it comes crumbling down on his crowned head. 

There is no celebration for this Fall, unlike the first. The Dandelions refuse to revere the day, to even acknowledge it, believing that giving the demons attention would only spur them. That doesn’t keep the believers from spitting their names with such hate on that unspoken day. 

* * *

Lea huffed, watching Isa barely keep his eyes open. He put his hand on his knee, “It’s okay. Sleep.”

He had no energy to even voice a complaint, much less stay awake. Isa fell into a light doze at once.

Lea took his hand back and sighed, turning around so he could lean against the couch. Xion and Roxas had banished their natural forms, but Isa and Lea were still in theirs. 

As if reading your thoughts, Lea said, “He can’t control his form well anymore. He’ll be able to go back after he’s recharged.”

“And you?”

He shrugged, but the way he was watching Isa made you tense, “It’s for the best.”

You nodded slowly, then your eyes danced between the three of them, “Was any of what I said right?”

“A surprising bit of it, yeah.” He admitted, turning his stare to the floor “But it was a lot more complicated than that.”

* * *

What He Knew

I was laying on the top of the castle looking over Scala ad Caelum, sunbathing to my heart’s content where my Master couldn’t find me. A familiar flap of wings drew close, but I knew who it was and didn’t bother getting up. Only one angel had such a heavy, uneven glide. 

Sure enough, I heard Isa land beside me, “Master Eraqus is looking for you.”

I waved my hand, “What’s one lesson on history? Besides,” I stretched my arms and golden wings, “napping is far more important.”

I had my eyes closed, but I could feel him roll his eyes, “He’s going to make you do lots of homework if you don’t.”

“Then let’s do it together.” I said cheekily, patting the white stone.

There was a pause as he glared at me, but he did. I finally opened my eyes as I grinned at him, “See? Better than hearing Master drone on about the old Masters and blah blah blah.”

He huffed through his nose, “Whatever.”

Isa was part of my clutch, born only three and a half thousand years before me, which made us pretty close in age by angel standards. His halo was the same color as moonlight, his wing only a shade darker, except for his left one. It was born deformed, shedding thin, dark feathers, all twisted up and dead weight. After some time, Eraqus and Aqua, the eldest of our clutch, were able to set the axillar, wrist, and leading edge, but everything else had to be amputated. They made him a prosthetic of white leather and feathers so he could still fly on his own. 

He once told me that he had overheard Eraqus saying that he had never heard of this happening before. He kept it out of his voice, but I could see the frustration in his blue eyes. 

I sat up and started regaling a prank on Dilan and Aeleus I pulled earlier that day. I had found their underwear and hung them all around Scala. On the windmills, in the trees, pinned to the notice board, and though I had tried finding a way to stick it to the back of Master Xehanort’s bald head, I couldn’t sneak up on him if it saved my life.

He tried to hide his chuckles, but he cracked when I told him how Xehanort knocked me flat on my ass for even trying to get the jump on him. 

“So that’s why I saw Aeleus in a tree. And why he blushed up to his ears when I asked what he was doing.”

“Watching them fly around in a panic made my year.” I laughed, “Vanitas found one of Dilan’s and threw it in his face! _That_ was funny!”

“Do they know it was you?”

“No way. I was super careful.”

_“LEA!”_

I froze, then slowly looked over the lip of the castle, only to see the two dodos that I mercilessly pranked on the regular glaring at me from below.

Isa only grinned in amusement, “I think you stand corrected.” 

“Uh,” I waved, “hi guys. How’s it going? Having a good day, I hope?”

Their glowering only darkened.

“Ah haha.” I chuckled awkwardly, shuffling away from the edge, “Oh, I just remembered, I’m going to be late to Master Eraqus’s lesson. I really must be going. Bye now!”

“Oh, no you don’t!” I heard Dilan roar and I sprinted to the other end of the castle. 

I leapt off the marble, Isa’s laughter echoing behind me. Then, I spread my wings and caught the wind, sailing through the sky like a bullet. I was always the fastest flyer, except for _maybe_ Elrena. 

I cackled as I flew through white clouds against the sun, the cool wind whipping my thick braid behind me. The sprawling heaven became a blur below me as I pulled hairpin turns and looped around towers. When I looked behind me, they weren’t there, and I assumed I had lost them. 

With a breathless laugh, I turned my head back to my lane and promptly screeched to a halt. 

Master Eraqus was right in my way, arms folded unhappily and frowning stonily. His white halo almost blinded me, but I managed to keep myself from mowing him over, but only barely.

“Uh, hi, Master.” I grinned sheepishly.

He sighed out of his nose, “Skipping again, Lea?”

“No.” I lied, “I just lost track of time. I was on my way to the temple, actually.”

He raised a brow at me, “Really? Because it looked like you were fleeing from Dilan and Aeleus. Again.”

I shrugged my hands up to my shoulders with a smile, “What makes you say that?”

He nodded to something over my shoulder, and though I did not want to look behind me, I did anyway. And there they were, the dodos themselves, and Isa stuck between them with a dark expression and folded arms that resembled Eraqus a little too much. 

“I had nothing to do with it.” He grumbled, “And I don’t know how your underwear ended up falling on Luariam’s head, either.”

I stifled a chuckle, but it quickly disappeared entirely when Master Eraqus pinned me with The Look. 

“Thank you for ensuring my pupils found their way to the temple.” He said as Isa flew over to my side, “And I apologize for Lea’s behavior.”

“I’m not sorry.” I mumbled to myself.

None, save for Isa, was amused. 

After exchanging a few pleasantries, Master nudged us towards the temple, “You’ve both missed a part of the lesson, so you both will be assigned homework at the end of class.”

“Yessir.” I pouted while Isa just sighed.

Master Eraqus escorted us over there. Isa and I flew a fair bit beneath him so we could avoid being hit by his strong, white wings. No angel had a wing the exact size of another, but Master Xehanort and Master Eraqus had the biggest of them all. It had to be because they were the Masters, because Braig, Ventus, Vanitas, Luariam, and Elrena were much older than them and their wings weren’t as big. And yet, the two Masters looked far older than them as well.

I noticed Isa glaring at me and I gave him a sheepish grin, same as I did to Eraqus, and mouthed, “Sorry.”

He shook his head, but I could tell he wasn’t that mad with me. We’ve done this enough times I’d need twenty hands to count them all. Eraqus had long given up on getting angry about it and accepted it with resignation and a satchel of extra assignments.

We touched down in the court and dutifully followed him inside. The skylights in the domed ceiling let in the natural light, so there was no need for any lanterns, and the marble and rich wood it was made of made the room all the brighter. The temple was made to house a hundred angels, lecture seating not only lining up before the teacher but up the walls in tiers, but as it was, there were only five of us, excluding our Master.

The other members of my clutch, Master Eraqus’s clutch, sat in the rows of desks before him. They all turned their eyes on us the moment we entered, and it was just as uncomfortable and funny as it was the first time.

Ienzo, the youngest, sat in the front row with his supplies all over his desk and was watching us curiously. Terra, the second eldest, sat in the second row and was giving us a knowing grin. Then, Aqua, the firstborn, who sat in the front seat beside Ienzo, had been helping him organize his notes before we had walked in. She also smiled at us, that smile that said she, too, was resigned to us causing trouble and loved us for it all the same.

Isa and I took a seat in the second row across the aisle from Terra. Isa had his parchment, quills, and ink at the ready, but I, thinking I would take the day off, did not have them on me.

Terra got out some parchment and handed it to me, along with an extra quill, “We’re covering Shaping today.” He whispered conspiringly, “I’ll let you copy my notes if you tell me what all the yelling was about.”

I took the supplies with an impish grin, “Deal.”

Eraqus made his way to the front of the class and waved his hand. An opalescent aura appeared behind him, notes of bold, shifting color already written in his neat, flowing handwriting.

Lessons this late into the game acted more like quizzes about what we already knew. If we didn’t know, then this would be a great reminder. I was already ten thousand three-hundred fifty-two years old and knew just about everything, or thought I did, so I wasn’t exactly excited for this again. I couldn’t figure how Aqua could take it, she was going to be thirty thousand in a year. The only one who could actually use the lessons was Ienzo, who was only two thousand seven-hundred.

“Picking up where we left off,” He began, “we were discussing the birthing and Shaping process. Ienzo, would you care to share what you know?”

Ienzo nodded and shuffled through his parchment before finding what he needed. He recited from his notes, “Angels are born from stars. When a Master plucks one from the sky, they have to keep it alive throughout the Shaping process. The definition of Shaping is: When a Master gives a star new life, shaping it into a heart, and then the heart will give itself a form.” Already knowing the next part, he lowered his parchment, “This process can take two months to a year to complete. And it’s taxing for both the Master and the new heart, and should only be done after much preparation, because the Master won’t be able to leave the heart, or else it will flicker out and die.”

Eraqus nodded his approval, “Excellent.” He turned to the aura and began to write a brief summarized version of Ienzo’s answer with his finger, “Now, who can tell me what forms an angel gives itself, in order.”

Isa raised his hand, “Pure Form, then Natural Form.”

“Yes. And why don’t we stay in our Pure Forms, despite it being the first form we take?”

“Because we have less control and have to practice regularly to regulate our consciousness in that form. Or we could lose focus and hurt somebody or ourselves.”

“Very good. Thank you, Isa. And I’m sure you already know the name for multiple angels Shaped by the same Master.”

“A clutch.” We monotonously answered.

“Correct.” 

Clutches aren’t considered siblings, they’re not related, though some can come to view their clutchmates as such. The only exceptions are twins, angels born from the same star. It’s incredibly rare for a star to split itself under the stress during the Shaping process, and if Ventus and Vanitas weren’t around, I probably wouldn’t have believed it happened at all. 

However, Masters were often looked to as parents. It was their job to care for and nurture their clutches, as well as teach and train them. Master Eraqus was the closest thing to a father I ever had. 

After a few more reviews and a short essay later, we were dismissed, with the exception of Isa and I who only got to leave after getting our assignments. There was going to be some keyblade training later that day, but we had an hour to ourselves.

I yawned, walking beside Isa and Aqua, “I don’t get it. You know all the answers, why don’t you answer them?” I asked her.

She chuckled, then smoothed out the tangles in my hair, “So you can get the spotlight.”

“I hate the spotlight!”

“I have never heard a bigger lie come out of your mouth, ever.” Isa laughed.

I pushed his shoulder and he pushed me back playfully. That’s when Terra caught up to us and clapped me on the shoulder.

“We had a deal, remember?” He grinned.

Ienzo wasn’t far behind, hugging his notes to his chest and waiting expectantly for the story to begin.

I beamed and happily retold the story, adding every hilarious detail, and they laughed aloud. I lived for the chance to make them laugh, but especially Aqua.

I loved Aqua. If Eraqus was my father, then she was my sister. She was perfect at everything she did, she was the strongest, smartest, most righteous of our clutch, and I’d argue of us all. And, even better, she was kind, and loving, and humble. She was the only one who could calm me when my temper got the better of me, or when I got sad and couldn’t stop crying. I knew I could always count on her, and the only way I knew how to repay her was to make her laugh. I loved my sister more than anything. 

The hour went by fast as we chatted back and forth, bathing in the shade and the sun, and we were rounded up onto the court.

Eraqus stood before us and his keyblade appeared in his hands in a flash of light, “Summon your keyblades.”

We summoned our weapons in a line and fell into our battle stances as we had done several hundred times before. He inspected every single one of us, correcting our stances. The only one who needed no correction was Aqua, who stood at the far left with a small smile on her face, hiding her pride from everyone but herself.

He got to Isa before me, and I watched as he considered him for a long time. Isa’s grip was strong, his eyes were fierce, ready for the challenge that Eraqus was going to give him. 

Carefully, he corrected his feet and knees. “You have to compensate for your wing.” He said, “The weight can throw you off-balance.” 

I could tell Isa wanted to say something, but as always, he bit his tongue and swallowed it. He knew Master Eraqus didn’t mean to be condescending, but it always came off as such. Isa hated it with every bone in his body.

Eventually, Eraqus stood before me. He eyed me critically, then circled and nudged my back, “You’re too stiff. Relax your shoulders.” After I did, he circled back to my front. He wasn’t overly fond of my battle stance, he thought it made me look overconfident. But I was – _am_ – stubborn as hell and he let it go.

After Ienzo, he returned to his original spot, standing before us. “Everyone, get into pairs. Isa, you’re with me.”

Isa’s fingers clenched around the hilt, but he went to his side as always. 

I dove at Aqua, “I’m going to beat you this time! Got it memorized?”

She smiled indulgently, “Give it your best shot, Lea.” She readied her weapon, “I believe in you.”

She said that to me a lot. “I believe in you, Lea. Don’t ever forget.” 

-

I was huddled in the corner of an alley below a tree, hiccupping and crying like the fledgling I was. I was only a few years old at the time, and I still made stupid mistakes, like forgetting to unfurl my wings in time so I wouldn’t crash and burn. 

I wasn’t bleeding or banged up, I got up from the fall pretty fast, just dizzy and sore from the impact. But what hurt most was my pride as the older angels laughed or scorned me. Fucking Luariam. Fucking Elrena. Fucking Vanitas and fucking Braig and fucking Ansem and fucking Xemnas.

I buried myself further into my arms, my wings cocooning me from sight. 

“Lea?”

I gasped, but when I recognized the voice, I peeked through my feathers and saw Aqua’s face. Her beautiful deep blue and pearlescent wings were gracefully folded behind her and framing her face as she knelt before me. Her pearly halo, the same color as sea waves, winked in the sunlight. 

I sniffed and cowered, “Are you going to laugh at me, too?”

She blinked, shocked that I would even think that, “No, Lea.” She reached out to me, “I’m here to make sure you’re okay.”

I tucked my chin close to my knees, tears still swimming in my eyes. “I’m fine!”

She stilled her hand, then tucked her legs underneath her and sat, “You’re not fine, Lea. It’s okay to admit it if you’re hurt or need help.” She tilted her head so she was still in my line of sight, “That’s why I’m here.”

My wings opened a little more without my permission, and I was once again taken by my sister’s gentle beauty as she smiled at me. 

“I love you.” She reminded me, once again reaching for me, “Let me fix your hair.” She grinned, “It’s a mess.”

I blinked and touched my windswept, thick, tangled hair. I hadn’t noticed, but there were leaves and twigs in it from when I crashed into the trees.

Unable to figure out a reason to say no, I scooched closer and turned my back to her, letting my wings splay out on the ground on either side of me. Her fingers began plucking out all the dirt and the knots like a musician with her harp. We sat in silence for the first minute or so, but I was never good with the quiet in my early years.

“Why did they laugh? It wasn’t funny.”

She didn’t pause, “You’re right, it wasn’t very funny. You could’ve been hurt.” 

A green leaf fluttered onto my knee and I picked it up and idly played it, “So, why’d they laugh, then?”

There was a subtle pinch as she carefully tugged on a stubborn knot, “Because, sometimes, people, including angels, can be cruel to one another. Laughing at another’s pain without making sure they’re okay is very cruel.”

The sunlight that beamed off my skin at all hours bounced off the leaf, making it glow. Shamefully, I mumbled, “I laughed at Dilan when he fell off the balcony because he wasn’t looking.”

She snorted, “Was he okay?” 

“Yeah, it wasn’t a big fall and he fell in a bush.”

“What did he say when you laughed at him?”

“He laughed, too.”

“Could you tell he was okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, there’s the difference.” She explained, plucking out the last of the mess. Her fingers brushed through my long, red waves, and everything felt okay again. “You knew Dilan was just fine. And if he weren’t, what would you have done?”

I scoffed, “Uh, helped him. Duh.”

“And there’s the other difference.” Then, she was pulling ropes of my hair in different directions, orchestrating my unruly mane with ease, “The guys back there didn’t even pause to make sure you were okay after that accident.”

“Yeah! I hit three trees and a wall! It hurt!”

She chuckled at my indignation, “I know. I saw it from the Eastern Windmill.” Then, she did pause, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

I shook my head, only to pull my own hair, “I’m okay. My chin and chest hurt a little. And my shoulders.”

In my peripheral, I saw her hand reach over my wing and touch my shoulder. A gentle glow covered her palm, rippling like waves, and the ache in my shoulder receded. That power, the power to heal, wouldn’t be one I would gain. 

I pulled my chin up to smile upside-down at her, “Thanks.”

She kissed my forehead, “Of course.” Then, after another minute of shifting hair, she said, “Done.”

I reached behind me and pulled the tail of a thick braid over my shoulder, held together by a thick thread of gold.

“This way, when you go flying, it won’t get in your face or become a mess again.” 

I stroked the twisting ropes of hair with an even bigger grin and hopped to my feet, “So?” I flipped it over the other shoulder, “How do I look?”

“Very handsome.” She laughed, then, she took my shoulders, stared me in the eye, and told me something I would always remember, “I believe in you, Lea. Don’t ever forget.”

She was trying to tell me something through those words, something I still don’t think I understand. But, encouragement from her is all I wanted.

I pointed at my temple and beamed, “I got it memorized!” 

-

I loved my sister, but love wasn’t enough to smother my jealousy. I strived so hard to be like her, but the divide between us in skill was so far, I knew I’d never catch up. And I knew I’d never get the same praise that Eraqus gave her. And I tried. I tried a lot.

I fell on my ass after she, once again, swept me off balance. My keyblade clattered against the stone before disappearing in a flash of sunlight. 

Aqua helped me up and dusted off my clothes as Master Eraqus approached us. 

“Very good, Aqua. Beautiful form as always.” 

“Thank you, Master.” 

Then, it was my turn, “Lea, you were doing well at the beginning, but you keep getting sloppy as the fight goes on.” He touched my shoulder, “You must learn to be more patient.”

“We’ve been dueling for more than forty minutes!” I countered, “That’s the longest I’ve held my own against her! That’s longer than _any_ of us have lasted against her!”

Terra nodded in defeat behind him, holding his own against Ienzo just fine. I had just beaten his record by two minutes and forty-three seconds.

“And you could have gone longer if you didn’t get impatient.” He said, and it hurt. Damn, that hurt a lot. “You must stop acting like a fledgling when it suits your whim. If this were a real battlefield, what do you think would happen?”

My hands were fists at my sides, “Someone would get killed.”

“Precisely.”

That’s when Aqua intervened, “Master, Lea did really well. He’s a lot more in control than he ever has been before.”

“Even so,” He said, then seeing my expression, he sighed, “Lea, you have made tremendous strides. But we cannot ignore shortcomings that can be easily rectified if you only gave it more effort.”

 _I_ am _trying!_ I wanted to scream. That voice had been getting louder and louder lately. Instead, I bowed, and went to join Isa in the grass.

“Did he cut your lesson short, again?” I grouched, ripping up the sprouts.

“Yes.” He muttered, watching Terra and Ienzo continue their training enviously.

I could see the white feathers of his prosthetic behind his pale blue wing and something in me curdled with guilt. Here I was, angry that I ended up losing to Aqua again despite beating Terra’s long-standing record, and here was Isa, who Master refused to go through an entire lesson with. 

_“Don’t strain yourself, Isa.” “Let’s end it here for the day.” “We can pick this up later.” “You must be tired.” “Don’t go flying for too long.” “Don’t tire yourself out.” “Be careful of your left side.” “You must compensate for your wing.”_

“He’s too fragile.” I once heard him say while Isa and I were tucked above the bookshelf in his study, hiding from Luariam after slathering his bed with mud, but that wasn’t important. 

I felt our impish grins melt off our faces and our bodies go numb as he muttered to himself, writing down his many lessons. “If his wing were to be damaged during training…” he sighed, setting down his quill. He was quiet for a long time, until he turned in his chair to stare out of the open window, “Don’t worry, Isa. I will never let you get hurt.”

We stayed up there in silence until he finally left after nightfall. Isa jumped off first, standing before our Master’s desk.

“Isa…” I whispered, reaching for his shoulder, but he turned away from me and leapt through the open window and into the night. I didn’t know how to reach him then. I’m still not sure I know how to reach him now.

His voice cut through my thoughts, “You did really good.”

“I did? Oh, yeah, I did, didn’t I?” I relaxed into a slouch and watched Aqua and Eraqus watch the last two train. What smile I had was gone quickly, “Just wish he’d say that. Y’know, without pointing out one of my ‘shortcomings’.”

He nudged my shoulder with his fist, “Ignore him. I do.”

We shared a knowing, conspiring smile, and waited until Master Eraqus announced that would be all for the day before getting to our feet.

Aqua approached us first, “You did so well, Lea.” She pet my hair out of my face, “I’m so proud of you.”

Those ugly feelings reared up, but I did my best to shove them back down, “Thanks. Still no match for you, though.” 

“I just have a lot of experience. You’ll get there someday.”

I know she was humble, _I know_ she was humble, but something about her words rubbed me so wrong that I felt my wings bristle.

Terra and Ienzo saved me. Terra begrudgingly sighed, “Should’ve known you’d beat me someday,” But then he smiled ruefully, “But make no mistake, I’m going to get my bragging rights back.”

“And your champion belt.” I snidely reminded him, opening my palm for my prize. 

He chuckled heartily, “Do you think I carry that around? It’s back in my room.”

“Pfft.” I let my hand drop, “Alright, enjoy your last few hours with it. I’ll reap my rewards at commune today.”

Ienzo edged a little closer, “Where are you going?”

I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about, “I dunno. Fly around for a bit. Take another nap.”

“But you and Isa sneak off together after practice all the time.” An excited flush dusted his cheeks, “Are you going to do another prank? Can I come? Please?”

 _Perceptive little punk,_ I thought fondly. Even then, I was an excellent liar, “No can do, sorry kid. Team Sun and Moon only allows premium members to get in on the action.”

“Who?”

I slung my arm around Isa’s shoulders, “Isa and I, of course.”

He crossed his arms with a little pout, but didn’t argue any further.

“Don’t get into too much trouble.” Aqua told us, then winked, “Have fun.”

“We will!” I sing-songed, turning the two of us around and walking down the road.

“Do something to Braig this time!” Terra called.

I only waved my acknowledgment. Instead of flying, Isa and I walked to our destination. Why? Because Master Eraqus always got tense when Isa flew, and he often watched the skies to keep an eye on us. Us flying was a one-way ticket to getting our training spot found.

In the hidden nook and crannies of Scala was an old cathedral, abandoned in favor of the one in the castle. After some digging into the records of the place, we found out it was made for any services that weren’t held on the day of Reverence and for meetings. It had been in use before our Master’s Masters and clutchmates had left them.

There once were many more angels in Scala ad Caelum. Not as many as there were before The Great Keyblade War, but more than the nineteen that had currently lived there. Eraqus wouldn’t speak of what happened beyond that he and his clutchmate, Xehanort, were made into Masters and tasked to teach the next generation before they all left them. They, and the five survivors, were all that remained. 

Not even the survivors knew what happened or what brought this on. But, as none of them were Masters, they were without the power and knowledge to create clutches of their own. None of their Masters had survived The War, so their chance at becoming Masters themselves was lost many millennia ago. So, it was up to Xehanort and Eraqus.

The cathedral was home to a garden in the middle, the walls of marble high around it, hiding it from sight. We had done some remodeling, uprooting the flowers in the middle to create a small square patch of land so we could practice without making a mess. 

We entered the garden and went to opposite sides of the ring and summoned our keyblades. 

“Okay,” I began, “when you dash, you have to find your center of balance and move with it. Don’t try to control it, or you’ll just end up stumbling and falling on your face.”

“I’ve watched you enough to figure that out.”

“Smartass.”

“I’ll admit it, I am smarter than you.”

“Shut up.”

We grinned at each other before I continued the lesson.

I slid across the small arena with ease, leaning into my chest and gliding across the uneven ground. I did it a few times before stopping, “Once you’ve got that down, the only thing that can trip you up is your wings. If they’re spread out, they can catch onto something, if they’re too tightly folded into your back, you’ll tense up and won’t be able to follow your center.”

As he always did, Isa _did_ tense at the comment about wings. All four of them, including the ones on his head, flexed in unison. 

“Let’s practice it with our keyblades. Move around and try to find your center, and then…”

We continued the lesson as the sun crept close to the West. About forty to forty-five minutes came and went as we practiced our dashes.

Finally, Isa was able to do five consecutive dashes without fail. 

I whooped and gave him a high-five, “Nice job!”

He grinned, but it held a bitter edge, “Now, I only need, I don’t know, fifty-hundred more lessons to catch up to you?”

I felt my smile fall a fraction, but before I could say anything, the sound of clapping froze us in place.

We spun around to the entrance to the garden and out from the shadows stepped Master Xehanort, his black wings and halo blended in with the shadows perfectly. He smiled at us like a cat who ate the parakeet, his silver eyes keen.

If Master Eraqus was my father, then Master Xehanort was the crazy uncle. He was nice and all, gave good advice on how to handle the stick up Eraqus’s butt, but he just had this aura about him that just made him _weird_. If someone told me he had helped hide a body once, it wouldn’t have been hard to believe them. But I didn’t think he’d actually hurt any of us. He was a Master, and, as far as I knew, was Eraqus’s trusted friend. I didn’t think there was any reason for us to not trust him, too.

After one more deafening clap, he brought his hands behind his back, “Very good, Isa. Excellent form.”

Isa and I shared a mutual glance of confusion and horror. If Xehanort knew we had been doing training in secret, he could tell Eraqus, and then it would all be over. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he grounded us for all eternity.

We waited for the other shoe to drop. When the waiting became unbearable, Isa asked, “Is… that all?”

“Whatever do you mean?” He asked, “You did well, considering this is your first lesson.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Wait, how do you know that?”

He approached us as he spoke, “I was meandering through these old halls when I spotted you boys out of an open window and heard you talking. I’m impressed with your work ethic. Most of my own pupils wouldn’t willingly put in the extra work once our lessons are over.”

Master Xehanort had the larger clutch compared to ours. There was seven in total, from oldest to youngest; Ansem, Xemnas, Dilan, Even, Aeleus, Duro, and Edym. Unlike my clutch, who were born many thousand years apart, with the exception of Isa and I, Xehanort popped them out rapid fire. The largest gap between ages was perhaps five thousand, which was Duro and Edym. The shortest was a mere thousand, between Ansem and Xemnas, who were older than Aqua.

We stood there awkwardly, trading the occasional glance. Though both of us wanted to know _why_ he wasn’t threatening to go tattle, neither of us were actually stupid enough to ask.

Isa dismissed his keyblade, “You really think that? That I did well?”

“Why would I lie?” He asked, “You have drive and the focus to channel it. That alone is worthy of respect. And the fact you’ve done so well with only a short time of practice, that is worthy of praise.”

The gears were turning in Isa’s head, but he wasn’t really processing his words. Instead, a little, bewildered smile twitched his lips.

“I’m… I’m happy to hear you say that, Master.”

Xehanort smiled, “Praise should be given when it is earned. Speaking of, Lea,” He turned to me and my back went straight, “you make a good teacher. Not surprising considering you’ve kept Aqua on her toes.”

I felt myself blush, “Thanks.”

He smiled, “I’d be delighted to offer my assistance. Despite your collective knowledge, it is not the same as getting taught by a Master. And, do not worry,” he put a gloved finger to his lips, “Eraqus will be none the wiser.”

-

We started training with Xehanort almost immediately. We were still hesitant to let anyone else in our little group, but he had already headbutted his way in and there really wasn’t a reason to say no to his help if he was telling the truth.

I’m so stupid.

With his help, Isa was improving at twice the speed he was with just me. And every time, Xehanort finished the training at the same time everyone else would. Every time, he would praise Isa while not belittling him for his failures. Every time, he wouldn’t even comment on his wing. 

He even extended many of the same courtesies to me. He gave me pointers and clapped me on the back with a warm smile and told me I was doing a good job without all of Eraqus’s bullshit packed in with it. I appreciated him a lot, not only for that, but for helping my best friend, too.

I didn’t notice it at first, but I was starting to compare the two, and I was liking Xehanort more and more than my own Master. I think Isa was doing the same thing. 

After a month or so in, he was starting getting short with Master Eraqus. It started out in private, which I only knew about from his brief mentions that they had a fight, but after some more time, he started arguing with him in class.

Eraqus tried to remain calm, but it was getting obvious he was getting tired of Isa’s, quote unquote, “disrespectful behavior”. 

Maybe, if things had been different, if I knew what Xehanort was doing, I would’ve sat down with Isa and figured out how to talk to Eraqus about _his_ behavior and how it felt to be put-down so regularly. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m still so angry with him I can’t breathe sometimes, but now, I’m sad, too. I’m sad that he didn’t know how much he was hurting us. I’m sad that we couldn’t figure out a way to tell him. I’m sad that none of us gave the other a chance. 

I’m not forgiving him. I don’t think I ever will. If I ever see him again, I can’t say that I’ll even give him the time of day. But I’m sad. He hurt us. And we hurt him, too.

But I just watched. A righteous and vindictive kind of mix of amusement, joy, and anger swelling within me at every public clash. I would watch Isa stand his ground with a hidden smile. 

Finally, one day, they both had enough. 

We were in the court in the middle of practicing our magic when Isa finally snapped. 

“Stop treating me like a fledgling!” 

All at once, our keyblades lowered so we could watch yet another argument. Our shoulders were tense as we felt the change in the air. The last bough was about to break.

Isa was red in the face with rage, his fingers wrapped around the hilt of his weapon so tightly his knuckles were white. All of his wings were folded tight to his body, his expression of absolute fury.

“Actually, you treat fledglings with more respect than you do me!”

Eraqus’s brows folded dangerously, “I will not tolerate – “

“SHUT UP!” He roared, his voice echoing across the stone tiles and flowers, “SHUT! UP! ALL YOU SAY IS ‘Isa, can’t do this’, ‘Isa, don’t do that’, ‘Isa, you’re so incapable of doing anything I’ll make you don’t DO ANYTHING AT ALL’!”

He ended the last sentence with a scream so loud he was breathless. Even so, he stood with his shoulders held high.

Eraqus stood opposite him, shocked speechless. For so long, Isa swallowed what he was given with silent resentment. To Eraqus, I’ve got no doubt this was an abrupt change that came out of nowhere. 

Isa’s chest heaved, “I’m not my fucking broken wing! I can fly! I can fight! I can do anything _they_ can do!” He shoved an accusing finger at us, “You gave me a prosthetic so I _can_ do all of that, so why don’t you just let me do this?!” 

His last sentence ended in a croak so quiet, nothing else made a noise.

He sniffed, “I can – “

_“You are not ready!”_

Eraqus’s shout made us all flinch. We had seen him get annoyed, many of us had even been scolded from time to time, but we had never seen him angry to the point of shouting.

His expression was tight as he glared at my startled friend, “What I do, I do to protect you. You _can’t_ do what they can do. You _can’t_ fly as well as they can. You _can’t_ fight as well as they can. There are simply things you cannot do, Isa! We have to be careful with you because I do not want to see you get hurt.”

Everyone gasped at his admission, even and especially Aqua.

“Master…” I heard her whisper over the blood boiling in my ears.

I was so angry I couldn’t _speak._ I was so upset for Isa I felt my sunlight glare. The other’s noticed and backed away from the light and heat rolling off of me. 

My glow reflected off the tears rolling down Isa’s face. Without another word, he spread his wings and took off so fast we soon lost track of where he went.

“How could you _fucking_ say that?” I heard myself say in the silent arena. 

Eraqus turned to me, and for the first time I saw a spark of fear in his eyes. Not at me. No, definitely not at me.

I had no other words. All I did have was anger on Isa’s behalf. I flew after him and didn’t look back.

I looked high and low for hours, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. He wasn’t at any of our hang-out spots, he wasn’t in his room, he wasn’t revenge-trashing Eraqus’s office, he wasn’t anywhere. I tried to sense him, but like always, the best I could do was get a general sense of where he was. No solid destination.

I ended up searching for so long I missed evening commune, but I didn’t want to care. I landed on one of the highest roofs and collapsed from emotional exhaustion. I threw my arm over my eyes so I wouldn’t have to watch the last of the sun set.

There was the sound of wings on the breeze and I uncovered my eyes long enough to see Ventus flying over on his speckled blond and green wings. His pale green halo was like a beacon around his mess of hair. I groaned and turned away from him as he landed.

“Hey,” He said softly, “I heard about what happened.”

“Go away.” I muttered. 

“Not gonna happen, sorry.”

I harrumphed, but didn’t have the energy to get up and go away myself. I heard him take a seat beside me.

We didn’t say anything for a while. Ventus was good at comfortable silences like that, and he was patient and was always able to read me a little too well. 

Finally, I sighed, “That was shitty of him to say that.”

“Yup.” He agreed.

I lifted my arm and looked at him over my shoulder, “… That felt too easy.”

Ventus and Eraqus had a close relationship, like a Master would with their pupil, with Ventus being the pupil and Eraqus being the Master, except Ventus was way older than he was. But, hey, Ventus looked a little younger than me, making him an eternal nineteen-year old. He sometimes acted like it, too, while Eraqus looked and acted like a grandpa, so it wasn’t a huge shock.

“Why?” He asked, his arms resting on his knees, “It _was_ shitty of Eraqus to say that.”

I stared at him a little longer before sitting up, waiting for him to continue.

Knowing his cue, he continued, “I know Eraqus just wants Isa to be safe, but he’s pretty overbearing, and a lot of us agree.”

“Really?” 

He nodded, “Yeah. I talked to Aqua and Terra about it, and they were…” he huffed, “shocked is an understatement.”

I lowered my chin, “They’re upset, too?”

“Yeah. Terra was so angry I thought his jaw would lock up.”

“What about Aqua?”

He shook his head slowly, “Honestly, I haven’t seen her that furious in a long time.”

I felt myself sweat, “I don’t think I’ve seen Aqua mad, ever. I didn’t think she _could._ ”

“Oh, she can get mad. Trust me. Just takes a lot to get her to that point.”

“What do you think she’ll do?”

He stared at the white streets below, then shrugged, “Dunno. She’s not one to just confront Eraqus, I think, but if this keeps up she might just give him a piece of her mind.”

I turned my eyes from him to my sprawling home, “I thought… no one cared. That Isa was getting treated like that, I mean.”

He sighed through his nose, “We do, we just… I don’t know. We don’t know how to talk to Eraqus about these things. He’s…”

“Got a stick so far up his ass if he opened his mouth wide enough you’d see it in the back of his throat?”

He tried not to laugh, “Something like that.”

We sat there in the quiet of the night. The stars and galaxies painted themselves above us in all their colorful glory, but it didn’t reach me. 

I felt his freckled hand on my shoulder, “What are going to do?”

“Look for Isa, what else?”

“And when you do that?”

“I – “ I stuttered, “I dunno.”

I could feel his green-blue eyes on me until he finally scooched closer and gave me a hug, “It’s gonna be okay.”

I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his chest, “Thanks, Ven.”

He gave me a squeeze, “Anytime.”

-

I had gotten halfway to my room when I stopped. I knew someone would come check on me in there, maybe even Eraqus, and I didn’t want to see his stupid face.

I turned around and went to find somewhere soft to sleep. 

Everything that wasn’t regularly in use in Scala was, in short, dusty and old. There were only so many of us and we didn’t need the entire heaven. We could only clean so much on our own. So, I tried to avoid those buildings as much as possible.

Even so, I ended up in the old cathedral where Isa and I trained with Xehanort. The night sky disappeared as I walked in those large doors and closed them behind me. Taking a deep breath of the musty air, I headed towards the lounge where I knew there was an ornate couch with a few empty tables and chairs sitting around it.

It was dark inside, though my natural glow managed to help guide me through the halls. There wasn’t a lot of clutter, besides in the offices and the small library, but I still walked while watching my feet. 

Before I walked into the lounge, I came to a set of double doors. There were sets of stained glass in the sturdy wood, and I knew that behind them was the sanctuary. I wouldn’t have gone inside if I hadn’t noticed a shadow walk past the glass.

I opened the doors immediately, hoping it was Isa, but no. Standing before the altar was the dark-haired Vanitas, Ventus’s twin. His red halo glowed eerily off the desolate pews and his speckled black and red wings. They made his eyes, red as the last rays of sunset, pierce the dark, straight to me. 

I had heard that human twins sometimes look alike, perfect copies of each other, but the only similarities that Ventus and Vanitas had was their face shape and frame. Other than that, they looked, and acted, like completely different people.

He grinned, “Why, if it isn’t our wayward bird. You missed commune, kid. Eraqus wasn’t happy about that.” He tsked. 

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t give a shit about what he thinks right now. I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, don’t go.” He said, waltzing towards me. Something about the hunch in his shoulders was predatory, but that was just Vanitas, “I’ve been worried about you.”

“You don’t worry about anyone.”

He didn’t even pretend to be sorry, “You got me.”

With another roll of my eyes, I turned towards the doors, “Kay, bye.”

Silent as a shadow, he snuck up on me wrapped his arm around my shoulder so he could whisper in my ear, “I’ve got something to tell you, kid. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

I sidestepped away from him and crossed my arms, “Make it quick.”

His smile didn’t reach his eyes at all, “Eraqus is really upset with Isa, y’know.” He said, and began to circle me, “I honestly don’t know what he’s gonna do to him once he finds him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” He said in a mock of concern, “he might just make sure Isa stays on the ground forever. Safe from fighting and flying ever again.”

I knew what he was implying, but I didn’t want to believe it, “Say what you mean or leave me alone.”

“Lea, Lea, Lea, you’re a smart kid. Get creative.”

I swallowed.

“C’mon.” He whispered, rounding me once more, “You know what I mean. What’s the one thing that lets poor, one-winged Isa take flight?”

I turned on him, nose to nose, “He wouldn’t do that.” 

“Wouldn’t he, though?” He shook his wings for emphasis, “I heard him talking with Xehanort about it. Said Isa was getting too overconfident for his own good and that it was the only way to keep him safe. Xehanort tried to argue with him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie?”

“Because you’re an asshole.”

“Any angel should be allowed to fly, right?” He countered, “I may be an asshole, but even I know it’s wrong to ground one of us forever.”

I felt a bead of sweat roll down my temple at the thought of it. That Vanitas could be telling the truth. That Eraqus would steal Isa’s prosthetic just to teach him a lesson. 

He turned his back to me, facing the stained glass behind the altar, “A lot of us think it’s time we took a step back from all this. From Eraqus and all these strict, meaningless teachings. If this isn’t the final nail in the coffin, I don’t know what is.”

I felt my feathers puff up, “What are you talking about?”

He looked at me from over his shoulder, silhouetted by roses and thorns, “We’re gonna leave Scala ad Caelum with Xehanort leading the charge.”

I laughed, but when he didn’t join in, it faded awkwardly, “You’re joking.”

With a grin, he turned to face me fully. The light of the moon and stars met the stained glass and filled the room with color, with Vanitas a black void blocking it’s way to me, “No, I’m not. Eraqus is a control freak, all the angels are gone, our teachings are meaningless – “

“We’re here to protect the Earth!” I snapped.

“Protect it from who?” He countered, “Do you really think there’s ever going to be a catastrophe on Earth so big we’d actually step in? There’s been hundreds of wars, famines, and disasters, and they got on just fine without us.”

“But – “

“But nothing. The humans can take care of themselves just fine. And I, for one, want to see something beyond this white cage.”

A chill had rolled down my spine, “If you’re caught going below the clouds without permission – “

“Severe and just punishment.” He scoffed, using his hand as a mouth, “Who’s got the right to tell me where I can and can’t go? I’m my own master. And, honestly, I’m shocked to hear you quote rules to me.”

I turned my head away in shame. He knew. He knew how many times I had almost snuck down below, but I never took that last step over the line. I knew if I did, there would be no going back. No one can unsee what has been seen.

He began to stalk towards me, “Don’t you want to be your own master, Lea?” He said in a quiet voice that made my ears ring.

“I – “

“Aren’t you tired of always being told what to do, how to act, where to go? Aren’t you tired of being trapped up here, never knowing a taste of freedom?” Finally, he stood toe to toe with me, and he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Aren’t you tired of being second-best?”

I sucked in a breath and shoved him away, but any words I should’ve said were stuck in my throat.

The damage was done. Vanitas leaned away from me with a smirk, “Think about it. Talk to Xehanort. I’m sure he’d be happy to share his side of things. He’ll be waiting in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

He brushed past me, leaving me shaking in the dark of the empty, hollowed sanctuary. 

-

I slept fitfully on the old couch, and only after I beat it half to death with a roll of parchment I found to get rid of the dust. 

There was a window on a wall, and I woke up so often that I’d see the moon jump an inch against the night sky every time I opened my eyes. Eventually, dawn did come, and I was up with it. 

For a long moment, I laid on the couch, watching the sky turn steel gray to strawberry-blond and soft pink. Scala had clouds, but never enough to blot out the sky entirely, but it felt like there were more clouds that day than usual.

With a groan, I rolled off and stretched. I already knew what I’d be doing for the day. Find Isa. I had to find him, and warn him about Eraqus, if what Vanitas told me was true. Masters, I hoped it wasn’t true.

What Vanitas told me that last night wormed around in my head. I wanted to tell someone, but at the same time, I didn’t. 

_Don’t you want to be your own master?_ And though I tried to block out the next coming line, I couldn’t. _Aren’t you tired of being second-best?_

My wings involuntarily spread violently. Aqua’s smiling face appeared in my mind’s eye. Then, there was Eraqus, smiling down at her before fixing me with a disappointed frown. 

_Not right now!_ I screamed at myself, slapping my palms to my ears, _We have to find Isa._

Easier said than done. 

I searched everywhere while avoiding everyone I could. I didn’t want to talk to anybody but Isa, I didn’t even want to see their faces. Fuck the lessons and fuck the consequences.

Who else was leaving?

I shook the thought away and sped up so I would have to focus just to keep myself from hitting something. 

Again, the sun moved unfeelingly across the blue sky, and nightfall finally came. With it, a full moon. 

I collapsed on a windmill, exhausted from a full day flying. Still no sign of Isa. 

A thought came to me, _He wouldn’t have gone below, right?_ and I almost stopped breathing.

Tired, but unable to sleep, I watched the moon travel across the sky for hours. Sometimes my eyes would close and I would rest, but they would open half an hour later at most. 

After another short rest, I watched the moon come to the precipice of midnight, looking down at the sleeping town. A shadow flew across it’s pale light and I thought it was a trick of my sleepy mind, but no. Someone was standing at the top of the castle, against the moon.

I couldn’t tell who it was, but the chance was too great to ignore. I pushed myself onto my clumsy legs and took flight.

The closer I got, the more I could make out of their outline, and I recognized it.

“Isa!” 

He lowered his chin and slowly turned away from the moon he had been watching to face me. 

I pitched forward onto the marble and jogged towards him, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Are you okay?”

His blue hair moved with the breeze, only then did I notice he had let it down. It was longer in the front, and when the wind blew, it almost completely covered his face, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Do I look okay to you?”

It hurt to look at him, “No.”

He huffed and finally tucked his stray hair behind his ear. I could finally see his face and I gasped. He looked older than he did before, but only by a few years, somewhere in his mid-twenties. 

He knew right away why I was staring, “I know. Xehanort told me that our aging is caused by extreme psychological stress.”

The implications were enough to make me wince. Now that I had found him, I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t even sure to tell him about Vanitas. What if it was just a lie just to scare us? It would only make things worse.

After a period of silence, Isa said in a calm, distant voice, “I’m leaving Scala ad Caelum.”

I felt my stomach sink, “You too?”

“You know about it?”

“Vanitas told me. I thought he was just saying things to get under my skin.” I said, searching his face for an answer, “You’re really leaving?”

He nodded, “I have nothing here. Here, I’m just the one-winged burden. Down there, I can be someone new. I’ll have freedom to do as I please. I’ll be free.”

 _You have me._ Is what I wanted to say, but with everything else he suffered on top of that, it would have been the wrong thing to say.

“You should come, too.”

I recoiled like I’d been slapped, “You want me to go?”

He nodded, “Almost everyone else is leaving, too. I won’t tell you their names, they’d prefer to remain anonymous. But,” he lifted his chin and the moon hit his thick, blue hair like light on a knife’s edge, “do you really want to be left alone with Eraqus for all of eternity?”

 _No. No, I don’t._ “Shit, Isa, I – “

Cutting through my stammering, he said, “You should talk to Xehanort.”

I swallowed. Vanitas had said the same thing. What was I supposed to do? _Shit. Shit!_

“Okay.” I conceded, “But, you should talk to Eraqus, too, don’t you think?”

He grimaced.

“Please. You don’t have to stay, I won’t make you stay, but please talk to him.” I took a shaky breath, “But, be careful if you do. Vanitas told me he…” I didn’t want to put the idea in his head, but I had to tell him just in case, “that he planned on taking away your prosthetic.”

His irises glowed sharply, “He _what?”_

“But Vanitas lies all the time! It could just be him saying things to stir up shit. But I don’t want you to go in there and – “

He cut me off with a wave of his hand. Anger made deep grooves in his still-young face, “I’ll _speak_ with Eraqus when I feel like it.” He said, but the reverb in his voice made me stiffen, “And if he tries to take my wing, I’ll _speak_ with him accordingly.”

He turned his back to me and spread his wings.

“Be careful!” I shouted as he soared away. 

At the peak of Scala ad Caelum, you could see most everything. And, behind Scala, far away from the floating island, was a horizon of bare dirt and plateaus.

_“He’ll be waiting in the Keyblade Graveyard.”_

It was time I got some answers.

-

It’s a long flight from Scala to the Graveyard, which you had to do without pause. Between the two islands was nothing but blue sky and clouds. If you lost your strength halfway through, it was a one-way ticket to whatever lay below. That alone deterred anyone from taking a trip there, but I was fueled by adrenaline and confused anger. I could suffer a few hours of nonstop flight.

By the time I got to the dusty ground I couldn’t even stand up straight. I fell right onto my knees and panted harshly. My wings were sorer than they ever had been before, I couldn’t fold them if I tried.

I took a few minutes to catch my breath. The air tasted stale and smelled of petrichor, despite no rain touching this desert since The Great Keyblade War. When I realized what had really steeped into the barren soil, I almost gagged. It was the smell of ichor, the blood of angels. 

With that heavy on my mind, I got up and slowly walked forward, my wings dragging on the dirt. It wasn’t long before I saw the fence of rusted keyblades. The keyblades of the angels who died in a senseless war to feed their Master’s pride. 

There were paths between the keyblades, and I was eternally grateful that I didn’t have to step between them, let alone touch them. There was no breeze, but I kept expecting to hear a chain creak, but all was silent. Deathly silent. 

To think this place was once the first heaven, Daybreak Town. There were pictures in our books of what it had once been. This place was unrecognizable. It was as if it held no life in the first place.

The moonlight was closing in on the west. Just like its name was millennia ago, daybreak would soon arrive.

I felt like I had walked for miles, alone with the masterless keyblades. Until, finally, a figure appeared in the distance. He walked towards me as I walked towards him, until we finally met at the crossroads.

“I’m so glad you’ve come to see me, Lea.” Master Xehanort said with a smile.

My hands balled into fists at my side, “What’s going on, Xehanort? Why are you leaving?”

He folded his arms behind his back, “This world is too small.” He told me, melancholy in his old eyes, “And it is hollow as the ground we now stand upon. It is but a beautiful cage, is it not?”

I didn’t know how to answer.

“Why should we waste our long lives here? Eraqus would say that we’re here to honor those that have passed, but look around you.” He swept a hand towards the Graveyard, “What is there to honor? They are all gone. There is no need to remain trapped above the clouds.”

My feet shifted, my stomach twisting uncomfortably, “There’s no compromise, is there?”

He threw his head back and laughed, “Do you not think I tried talking to Eraqus? He believes in absolutes. Absolute loyalty, absolute Light, absolute righteousness. I see myself as more of a pragmatist. There cannot be one without the other, there needs to be a balance. Eraqus has tipped that balance for far too long.” He put a hand to his heart, “So, I have taken it upon myself to tip the scale back to its proper place.”

“And the others?”

“The others joined of their own volition. And I now extend that same offer to you.” He held out his hand, “Will you join us, Lea? Down below is freedom. Down below, there is no love lost. Down below, you will become the perfect you. No competition for conditional love. No impossible divides. We will be united as equals.”

I stared at his outstretched hand. I wanted to take it. I wanted to take it so badly, but instead I gripped my pants and tried to breathe.

With an understanding smile, he lowered his hand, “Think on it, won’t you? There is still time before we make our departure.”

I nodded shakily, “Thanks.”

“Of course. But first, here.” He handed me a bottle of golden liquid, an elixir, “To regain your strength. You’ve a long flight ahead of you.”

I took it with another word of thanks and crushed it in my hands. Swirls of gold silk and dust swept around me before disappearing altogether. I was invigorated, but I still felt so tired.

_I need to talk to Eraqus._

-

It was close to noon by the time I got back to Scala. I paused for a breath at the outskirts, but only for a minute before taking to the streets.

Around this time, Eraqus would be in his study, preparing for the day’s lesson after midday commune. I took all the shortcuts while keeping to the shadows. I didn’t want or have time to be seen and stopped. 

Finally, I came to the castle where the Masters offices were. I entered, only to come to a screeching halt. Against the stained glass stood, before the pantheon of empty thrones, Eraqus and Isa were in the middle of another heated argument, but I could tell this one was different. 

I quickly hid behind a pillar and listened in.

“You are out of control!” Eraqus barked, “What happened to you?”

“I got a taste of respect from a Master is what happened!” Isa shouted back, “For the first time in my life, I got to feel what everyone else gets to feel! Like I could be my own fucking person instead of this porcelain doll you’ve made me out to be!”

Eraqus’s voice took a dark turn, “What did Xehanort say to you?”

“That I should be free to be myself and make my own choices instead of following these stupid expectations you’ve shoved onto me.” Isa growled, “I’m my own person and you don’t see that!”

“Of course you’re your own person, Isa. But your wing – “

“I’M NOT MY FUCKING WING!” 

My legs crouched without my permission as Isa’s voice boomed throughout the room. The reverb was back and I could see his frosty glow on the marble tile.

“I GET IT, OKAY? I’M MISSING PART OF A WING, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME ANY LESS THAN ANY OTHER ANGEL OUT THERE! SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE I’M INCAPABLE OF DOING EVEN BASIC THINGS! YOU SHOULD AT LEAST GIVE ME THE CHOICE TO TRY, BUT YOU NEVER HAVE!” He finally stopped yelling and his heavy breathing filled the room, “And you never will, will you?”

The silence was as heavy as an ocean of water and It felt like I was drowning underneath it’s still depths as I waited for a response. 

“I see now that I have permitted too much freedom.”

I sucked in a horrified breath. 

“Xehanort is not your Master, I am. You are your own person, Isa, and I love you, but that is precisely why I cannot let harm come to you. If you died, we’d be lesser without you. Understand that what I do, I do to protect you. If you won’t listen to reason, then you force my hand. I cannot allow you to hurt yourself in some neglectful attempt at proving a point. 

“Give me your prosthetic.”

Before I could jump in, a blinding flash of moonlight filled the entire throne room. 

The power of Isa’s enraged Pure Form sucked the air right out of my lungs, and I wasn’t even looking at him. His voice echoed against itself as he spoke, “You aren’t my Master. You’ve been nothing more than my owner, and you’ve leashed me for too long. I’m leaving you and Scala ad Caelum, and I am _not_ coming back.”

There was another flash of cold light, and I knew that he was gone. 

I stayed behind the pillar for only a moment before I walked around it to face Eraqus.

“You’re a monster.”

He turned to me with outrage in his eyes, “You have no place calling me a monster.”

“If it talks like a monster and acts like a monster, it’s a monster.” I seethed, “How _dare_ you?! How _fucking_ dare you!”

“I will not tolerate any more outbursts from my pupils, Lea.” He warned, but I ignored his threat.

“You would take Isa’s wing because he told you that he feels like you’ve never given him any respect?! That doesn’t look good, does it?”

“You have no right speaking to me – “

I snapped, “You’re right, I have no rights with you! And neither does Isa, or any of us for that matter. Xehanort told me that you expect absolute loyalty, but I didn’t think it went this far.”

His nostrils flared, “Xehanort is a manipulator. I don’t know what he’s been planning but he is using you!”

“Like you’ve been a saint! You hate losing control, and you hate nothing but perfection. You know, you have never said one kind thing to me without adding a backhanded slap at the end? I can never win with you! I try, and I try, but you never treat me the same way you treat Aqua!”

Realizing what I just admitted, I flinched, but didn’t take it back. Angry tears were welling up in my eyes and I couldn’t ignore them.

Eraqus’s eyes went wide and his shoulders fell a fraction. Maybe I had finally struck a chord in him, “Lea, I never meant to – “

“What?” My voice broke. “Never meant to hurt me?”

“I only wanted you to be – “

“Better? A perfect version of myself? Guess what, that can’t happen! I’m all the me I’ve got! And if you just accepted that, maybe you wouldn’t be such a terrible Master!”

The silence stretched on, but on the inside, I was lava and white noise. I was shattering and erupting, and I’d soon flow over and burn everything I had ever known.

“I tried so hard to be someone you could be proud of.” I said in a whisper, but it echoed like a scream. “I gave you everything I had and more, but it just wasn’t enough. It’ll never be enough! _I’ll_ never be enough for you!”

“That isn’t true. I love you!”

I couldn’t stop even if I tried. “Then you should’ve acted like it!” 

Then, I turned on my heel and ran away, ignoring his pleas for me to stop. I didn’t even have the thought to use my wings as I tried not to sob. There was no going back.

I wasn’t aware of the silent footsteps behind me until I heard, “Lea, wait!”

Without thinking, I tripped to a halt, but I couldn’t face her. 

Aqua stepped closer, “C’mon, let’s go somewhere and talk this out.”

All the pent-up anger, hurt, and jealousy that I had hidden for so long was boiling over, “Talk?” I said slowly, “You want to talk?”

“I know Eraqus has been unfair, but if we just gave it some time – “

“You know? _You know?_ ” Finally, I whirled on her, “What the fuck do you know?! You’ve never had him talk down to you! You’ve never had to look in his eyes and know that you’ll never be who he wants you to be!”

Her shoulders tensed, but she stood her ground, “If the five of us can sit down and talk with him, we can get him to see how wrong his behavior has been.” Then, she took another step forward, reaching out, “Please, Lea. Just come with me, we’ll go somewhere quiet and figure this out.”

I scoffed, but she determinately stepped closer. “We can find Isa before he leaves, and the five of us will figure out how to talk to Eraqus. Together.”

I wanted to believe her. I really wanted to, but I didn’t - couldn’t believe that Eraqus would ever change.

She smiled warmly, thinking she had won me over, and she touched my shoulder, “Just be patient. We’ll figure this out.”

I stared at her, unable to believe her ignorance. “You want me to wait?”

Sensing my rage, she tried to calm me, “Lea – “

“I’ve waited thousands of years to be someone he likes. I’ve waited thousands of years to be equal to _you._ ”

Her smile fell away and she blinked. She was finally seeing me for who I am. 

“I have waited thousands and thousands of years only to be second-best to you! I kept thinking if I just tried harder, someday I’d close this gap between us, but it’s never going to happen! Even when I come farther than any of the others, he will never love me the same way he loves you!

“So don’t think you know what I’m going through. You don’t know the first thing about it! You’re the perfect angel! And he’ll never stop thinking that! _He will never change, Aqua!”_

She tried to say something, but I pushed her hand off my shoulder and left her on the ground. I took flight towards the Keyblade Graveyard. My hand twisted into my braid and pulled it out, letting my hair fly behind me. There would be no going back.

-

I met Isa mid-flight over the divide.

“Don’t try to change my mind!” I heard him shout at me over the wind. 

“I’m not!” I flapped harder so I could fly beside him, “I’m coming with you.”

He slowed just a moment, his wide eyes flitting over the sky, before his mouth pulled into a resolute grimace, “Thank you.”

“You bet.” 

Nothing more needed to be said as the line of dirt and dust grew closer. By the time we landed there, we were so exhausted we almost collapsed, but we caught each other before we could fall. Leaning on each other, we stumbled towards the crossroads.

They were there, waiting for us. I didn’t think the group would be so big, and I thought that meant it was the right choice. I counted and recognized the faces of the crowd: Elrena, Luariam, Braig, Vanitas, all of Xehanort’s clutch, _Ienzo,_ and Xehanort himself.

He spread his arms and curled his fingers, “Welcome, Isa and Lea.”

We stopped, still holding each other up, and waited.

He smiled indulgently, “Have you given my offer any thought?”

“We did.” Isa said breathlessly.

“And we’re coming, too.” I ended.

He grinned wide, reached into his coat, and tossed us two elixirs, “I’m overjoyed to welcome you into the fold. Please, join us.”

After using the elixirs, we walked over to Ienzo, who for his part seemed relieved to see us. 

Now that all of us were gathered, Xehanort turned to us with his hands behind his back, “If you are here, then there is little for me to say. We all know there is nothing for us here in Scala ad Caelum.” There was murmured assent, and he continued, “But, leaving will not be easy. I have little doubt Eraqus will do whatever it takes to stop us from achieving our goal.

“We all know the taboo of fighting one of our own with a keyblade, but they may not give us a choice but to take up arms.” This was met with uncomfortable silence, “That is why we will set up diversions, so that they won’t be able to meet us head-on. A small part of our group will dive down while we keep them busy so we aren’t met with any unexpected surprises. Ienzo, Edym, Even, Aeleus, and Xemnas. I trust you will find our new home well.”

They nodded.

“The rest of you will split up and destroy a part of Scala. I know,” he said before anyone could open their mouths, “but this is for the best. I would rather us wreck a few empty buildings than harm those we must leave behind.”

It made sense to me. What was an empty heaven worth? 

“We must move quickly. Eraqus had gotten suspicious, there isn’t a moment to lose.” He said with finality.

A few of us traded startled glances, we hadn’t expected to leave so soon. It was all or nothing.

He handed each of us an elixir before we left the Keyblade Graveyard, and soon, Scala ad Caelum. For good.

When Scala came into view, those of us who were staying behind split off from the pack and went our separate ways to create as much chaos as possible. The group that were to go before us were off somewhere hidden by the outskirts, ready to fall when the first boom echoed across the heaven. 

I found myself veering towards the temple and court. The place where I was always brutally reminded of how I’d never be good enough in his eyes. If I was burning bridges, then that place deserved to be a pyre. 

The sunlight I had been known for was now a sun storm. I entered the temple and took in the empty desks and the light reflecting off the marble. What once was sacred had now become hollow. I outstretched my hand and a small ball of gold and orange fire began to build against my palm. It didn’t grow in size, but did in intensity, until the air thrummed with its heat and power. 

The cord holding it and me back snapped, and a fountain of fire shot from my hand. It hit the desks first, the violent spirals of flame scorched the floor and the wood caught aflame immediately. I pulled my hand up, destroying the far wall until it reached the skylights. The glass exploded on contact and fell like rain onto the floor. A plume of fire and smoke blew out from the dome. Distraction achieved.

I was to go make another diversion, but a familiar voice stopped me.

“Lea, what are you doing?”

She didn’t say it loudly, but I still heard it over the cackle of fire and groan of wood. 

I didn’t turn around, “None of your business.”

“You can stop this, right now.” She said, her voice hardening like ice, “I know Xehanort’s told you things are better down there, but you don’t know what else he might be plotting.”

“Yeah, ‘cause Xehanort is such a bad guy for giving us a choice to leave with him.” I mocked.

“He’s tricking you!”

I sucked a breath through my nose and finally faced her, “I’m leaving because I want to! He didn’t force a damn thing on me, not like Eraqus! Not like you!”

Aqua gasped as if I had actually wounded her, but she quickly returned to glaring, “This isn’t like you.”

 _“Like me?”_ I seethed, _“This isn’t like me?_ This is the first time I’ve ever felt like myself! Not something I’ve tried to be. Not that you would know anything about that, Ms. Fucking Perfect.”

Her hands balled into trembling fists at her side, “If you don’t stop, I’ll have to – “

“Make me?”

She refused to lower her gaze, “Yes. Lea, please, stop this. I don’t want to fight you, but Eraqus – “

The audacity of it all had me laughing, “Of course Eraqus told you to round us up. Of course he did. Well guess what,” I leaned forward and opened my arms with a tear stained snarl, “I’m not going back. And you can’t make me.”

Her eyes were wet, but took a defensive stance, “I want to believe you’ll make the right choice. But even though you haven’t, I’ll be there to bring you back home.”

The heat of the fire dried the tears on my cheeks as fast as they came, “Good luck with that.”

I shot a jet of fire at her and she deftly dodged it, retaliating with a spray of water. I sidestepped it and heard it smother the flames with a hiss. It wasn’t the first step towards this encounter, just one of the many leading up to it.

I felt the air around me grow damp and I threw myself to the side just in time for a geyser to erupt where my feet had been. Steam and smoke filled the room, blinding us both. 

I was angry, but I knew better than to think I could beat her fairly. But I also knew that if I tried to run, she’d follow me, or find one of the others and stop them. That’s when I got an idea. 

I directed the fire onto the desks and seats and more black smoke filled air. It tasted putrid and fell heavy in my lungs, but I didn’t fear suffocation. When the entire temple was full smoke, cautiously followed the faint breeze sucking it out. I stepped lightly over the wreckage, hardly daring to breathe. 

My shoulder hit something, for a second I thought it was a wall, but then I heard a gasp and pain slashed across my arm. 

I shouted and backed away, holding my ripped arm. There was a burst of wind and I looked up to see Aqua standing before me, her keyblade in hand. Her eyes were wide and tears burst from them, her hand reaching for her mouth – reaching for me – reaching for her – 

Something in me twisted and shattered. No words could come. She used her keyblade on me, she hurt with her keyblade! She – She – I backed away from her, shaking my head. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. But the golden ichor running down my elbow and the painful itch of the cut were proof. 

“Lea – “ She whispered, “Lea, I’m so sorry – “

I ran back into the smoke and spread my wings, soaring straight out of the shattered skylight. It felt like my body wasn’t my own, like the skin and blood weren’t my own. Like the tears running down my face weren’t my own. 

_I loved you. I loved you! You used her keyblade on me! How could you use your keyblade on me?!_

I lost feeling in my wings. They flapped uselessly in the air before I fell onto the grass. My golden blood dripped off my fingers and onto the stems. All I could smell was petrichor. All I could taste was ash and salt.

There was the sound of thunder, a flash of lightning, and the ground rumbled beneath my hands and knees. Oh. Right. That was still happening. We had to leave.

 _I’ve got leave. I’ve got to go._ I dragged myself to my feet and began to run through the alleys I would never call home again, _I can’t stay here another second – I’ve got to go!_

Feeling returned to my body, forced into motion by the agony in my heart. What I wouldn’t have done to give it away. I thought this wasn’t a battle, but as I felt the heavens crumble and heard its pained groans, I had to wonder: Did we win?

Scala ad Caelum was burning against the blue unfeeling sky. If we won, what did we win? 

~~_And was it worth it?_ ~~

My wound pleaded for attention, but I knew there wasn’t any time. Aqua could be right behind me, or worse, Eraqus. So, I ran until there was nowhere left to run and my toes met the edge of heaven. 

There! There were some of the others! And… then they were gone. The clouds swallowed them up. 

Part of me wanted to turn around for one last look, but my feet were planted resolutely in the ground. I leaned onto the balls of my feet, and let myself fall.

My wings burned as I dove below the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas a bastard in all incarnations  
> Roxas and Xion's demon forms are based on Sora's beta design! I once saw someone draw them based off that design a while ago but I can't find them and I don't know who it was ;-;  
> Thank y'all for reading and stay strong and united!  
> BLM BLM BLM


	8. And It's Rotten Core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After The Fall, everything well and truly fell apart. He didn't even have the heart to realize it at first. Then they came, and everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight this one isn't beta'd okay? And it's a beefy one too so there might be some stuff I missed ;;  
> Sorry about the wait! The first pov and lots of backstory bogged me down for a bit  
> Also, when being spoken to/about in flashback, Xion is referred to as she/her, but goes by they/them in narrative

Falling from Scala ad Caelum wasn’t anything like I thought it would be. Below the clouds was an endless expanse of stars and constellations, the hearts of every living being in all the worlds. It felt like an eternity, suspended in space but no doubt dropping like a rock. There was no wind, but the rivulets of golden blood trailing behind me was proof enough. 

Finally, below me appeared a growing blot of pure black, swallowing the star’s light and leaving nothing behind. Fear hit me like a brick and I tried to slow my descent, fruitlessly flapping my wings, but the black hole pulled me in no matter how hard I struggled. Until, darkness was all I knew. All I could see. All I could feel. Cold. Cold. And colder still.

I thought this was it. I thought this is what happens to angels who fall. This is the reason nobody went below the clouds. I thought I was going to die, or worse, be trapped there forever.

But, down the funnel, I could see something that wasn’t black. It was dark, but it wasn’t that… _that._ It was the world that was waiting on the other end of the spectrum, and it was coming up fast. 

Once I was out of the suffocating black void, I spread my wings and swooped up to keep from hitting the ocean that rose up to meet me. There were shouts, my name was called, and I turned my head to find some of the others waiting on the beach.

The greeting party, Xenmas, Edym, Even, Aeleus, and Ienzo were there, as well as Dilan, Elrena, and Luariam. Ienzo was running towards me before I even touched the ground. 

“You’re hurt!” He said, then pressed his hand to my arm, a green, soothing glow spread out from his fingers. He wasn’t as good at healing as Aqua – and just thinking of her name made me want to scream – but he was better at it then me by far. 

“Thanks.” I muttered, “Where’s Isa?”

He grimaced in concern, “He hasn’t arrived yet. But I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

I nodded silently, then finally took in our surroundings. We were on a thin strip of black and purple sand, in one direction was a vast ocean of dark, calm, depthless water. Broken coils of black stone jutted and then circled back down off the reef. On the other side were rocks of that same stone, spots or gems in them glowed a haunting purple. The sand ended, and uneven ground went on for miles before a line of craggy mountains. The sky was… it was hard to call it a sky. It was all purple gray, like an old bruise, like rotten meat, giving the impression of something _like_ clouds but not quite.

Splitting the eternal storm’s approach was the black cavern that brought me there, ringed by thorned ribbons of darkness. Xemnas was standing at the edge of sand and water, his hand raised to it with a frown of deep concentration. 

“That’s a Dark Corridor.” Ienzo explained without having to be asked, “Xehanort taught him how to use it so we could come here.”

Desperate for anything that wasn’t the last who-knew-how-many minutes or hours or days, I asked, “So, where is _here_ , exactly?”

“The Dark World.” Dilan answered over Ienzo, “Previously unknown until our Master happened upon it’s rumors in the library. There’s no need to fear anyone following us here.”

“The Dark Corridor is the only way in or out.” Ienzo clarified after side-eyeing him.

Even smiled crookedly, “As far as we know.”

Xemnas cut our conversation short, “More approach.”

We all turned our eyes to the funnel and waited. To my relief, Isa’s mis-matched folded wings unfurled and he managed to keep from hitting the still waters. 

Ienzo and I shouted and waved to catch his attention and he landed beside us. He wasn’t hurt, but there was something different about the look in his eyes that I couldn’t explain. 

Said eyes landed on the gold stains on my arms and sleeves, “What happened?”

I shook my head lamely. Even if I wanted to say, what words could I use? 

That’s when Duro swooped out on his copper wings, followed closely by Braig. They quickly joined the group. Some gasps rang out through the small crowd when we saw Braig holding his left eye, ichor running down his face.

He was obviously in a significant amount of pain and Duro had to catch him before he fell to the sand.

While Ienzo hurried to heal what he could, I heard Edym ask with shock, “Woah, who did that to you?”

He made a noise somewhere between a groan and a chuckle, “Terra. That kid can sure pack a punch when he feels like it.”

Ienzo visibly flinched, Isa sucked in a quiet breath and my blood froze. The last two members of my clutch drew blood. Did he use his keyblade, too? I never did get a straight answer out of him whenever the subject was brought up after the fact. Just that coy, knowing grin.

We stood in heavy silence, knowing that the taboo was prodded, but I knew it was broken altogether. Ienzo knelt beside Braig’s body on the sand, that soft green and gold glow pulsing out from his palms, obscuring his face. It felt like forever before Ienzo leaned back on his haunches and sighed, the light gone.

“I’ve done what I can.” He whispered mournfully.

When Braig sat up, I understood why he sounded ashamed. The left side of his face was laced with wicked scars, and his eyelid was one, big scar itself. His eye was open for half a second, but it was enough to see the cloudy, slashed orb inside.

Braig touched his left eyebrow, “Stopped the bleeding at least.” But he didn’t thank him.

As he and Ienzo were getting on their feet, the last three soared out of the portal. Xemnas dismissed it with a wave of his hand, and my ears popped as it whirlpooled, shrank, and vanished with a growling hiss. 

We watched the three of them descend and stand in a group before us, their backs to the waters. None of them were hurt, but there was a look in Vanitas’s eyes that made me tense. They were manic and cold, and with it was a twisted grin full of teeth. Ansem and Xehanort were perfectly composed in comparison. 

But… where was Xehanort’s halo?

“Welcome, friends,” Xehanort said, spreading his wings and arms, “to the Dark Margin. Our first step towards a new path that has been, until today, left untraveled.”

Folding his wings and arms behind his back, his eyes roamed us. He paused on Braig’s face, but only for a half-second before moving on. “I’m pleased to see that all of us have made the journey, despite any unforeseen obstacles.” His eyes landed on me, seeing straight through my heart. My hands went numb. “I am proud to stand before such brave individuals.”

Elrena’s voice cut through the bullshit, “Hey! Enough talk. We’re in the Dark World, now what? What’s the plan?”

Xehanort was unphased, “Now, we abandon our titles as angels and all that it represents.”

Everyone but Xehanort’s clutch seemed apprehensive at his bold choice of words.

“To live in the Dark World, we must become a part of the Darkness itself and survive the task. As angels we are beings of Light,” he waved his arm at the sky, “without it, we will not last long.”

“And how are we to become a part of Darkness?” Luariam asked.

Before he could answer, Ienzo raised his shaky hand, “Ma - Eraqus told us that the Darkness will swallow and corrupt anything it touches. That it would take over your mind, body, and soul.”

Xehanort shook his head, sad to hear such “lies”, “No, Ienzo. It’s true the Darkness is a living thing, but we angels will be able to survive the process just as long as we let go of the very thing it would love to devour. But we will get to that after we finish these first few steps.

“We have made ourselves enemies in Eraqus’s eyes today.” He said, “Should we face him and the last of his angels someday, I have little doubt we will be forced into a confrontation. But we all know the taboo. To draw our keyblades against another angel, even if we are no longer angels ourselves, is a grave sin. And so, to avoid this, I propose we create new weapons out of the ashes of our past lives.”

Ansem, his eldest, came to stand beside his Master. He knowingly reached behind his head and gripped his dark purple halo. With a chorus of mortified gasps, we watched him remove it and promptly break it with his own two hands. 

There was a crack like thunder and a flash of purple light, then, when it cleared, the broken halo began to reassemble itself. The pieces hovered for a moment before circling around him, until it was finally remade into some sort of weapon I had never seen before. Something between creature and shield, it floated behind his shoulder.

That explained what happened to Xehanort’s halo.

“We can create new weapons from our haloes. But, to balance this newfound power, and to solidify our resolution, we all will disown our keyblades. Before we do that, I will answer your question, Luariam.”

Xemnas left us to stand beside his master. He summoned his keyblade, then held it by the blade and turned it on himself. With a chorus of mortified gasps, his body began to glow. A soft pink orb of light drifted out of the unseen wound. It circled once, before rising and fading away. 

The glow, _his_ glow, died too. The light that each angel possesses was gone. Even his eyes were flat.

Then, without ceremony, he bent it over his knee and snapped it in half. There was the sound air whistling and a disembodied scream, then, it shattered into fragments of light before disappearing altogether. 

My stomach turned at the horrifying display. To not only give up but to completely destroy the symbols of who we were, it was a lot to take in. And our hearts – Our _hearts._

Before I could protest or puke, I wasn’t sure which, Isa took a step forward and took off his halo. I watched him in stunned silence as he took the reminders of his pain and broke them. In a swirl of moonlight, the pommel of a claymore and its heavy weight was in the palm of his hand. When he let it go, it disappeared like our keyblades did. 

Then, in what felt like both an eternity and a blink of an eye, he was holding his keyblade to his chest. I wanted to say something. To stop him, or maybe to encourage him, I don’t know. But all I did was stand in silence as he gouged out his heart and watch it leave us behind. And, in just a few mere moments, his keyblade was gone, too. It screamed, then blew apart, just like he did.

One by one, we demolished our old weapons and created new ones out of the rubble. For a while, I could only witness it, until the bubble finally burst and my hands wove around my golden halo, warm as sunlight, and snapped it.

The warmth wasn’t just warmth anymore, it was raw heat, and it felt as angry as I was. The fragments spun and divided, and in my hands were twin chakrams. They weren’t sunlight anymore, they were fire. 

My hands trembled as I summoned my keyblade and awkwardly held it in front of my chest, the blade a few mere inches from touching my shirt. Every instinct I had was screeching at me, telling me I was being an idiot, to put the damn thing down and _stop._ But it was too late to go back. If I didn’t do this, where could I go? So, I didn’t listen to that voice and pushed my blade into my chest.

It hurt. _It hurt._ It hurt like nothing I had ever known, oh _Masters, it hurt._ It seared and flayed me alive from the inside out, but I couldn’t scream even if I wanted to. Then, my heart, pink, a ball of pure light, passed my eyes and went over my head. I lifted my chin to watch it vanish without any emotion at all.

The pain had passed, and it didn’t even matter to me anymore. The pain could’ve gone on and on and I wouldn’t have even been annoyed. I felt empty. I felt hollow. I felt nothing. Nothing at all. It didn’t even bother me, though I knew in the back of my mind that it should’ve. 

To test the waters, I remembered Aqua’s face. There were no feelings of hurt, or betrayal, or love. Was I grateful? I didn’t know. I still don’t know.

Then, it was my keyblades turn. I held it in my hands and felt its familiar weight for the last time. Its gentle warmth couldn’t reach me anymore. I easily took the blade in both hands, the thinnest part between my fingers, and summoned all my strength.

There was a _crack,_ a fissure split along the neck, before it broke apart entirely. There was that whistling of air through a tunnel, then it screamed in betrayal and agony before dissolving into little shards of light. 

A stab of pain hit me between my shoulder blades, like a sharp knife slicing through my spine, tendon, and muscle. The sensation of being stabbed in the back. If only I knew. 

The last was Ienzo, but even he, the youngest of us all, did as he was told and destroyed the remainder of a life he had left behind. I hadn’t noticed that neither Vanitas or Xehanort had brought out their keyblades or released their hearts. Afterward, when I thought back on it, I assumed they had already done it. 

With a pleased smile, Xehanort said to us, “Now that you have disowned all that you were, it is time to be baptized anew. By letting go of your hearts, the Darkness will not harm you, but give you new power and a new form.”

Vanitas’s grin grew, then he turned his back to us and stepped into the ocean.

“The Darkness is the culmination of every dark emotion of every living being. What once was a shallow pond, grew as The Great Keyblade War came to its climax.”

Vanitas stumbled when the water came up to his shins, but he still kept walking.

“And now it is the vast ocean you see before you. It holds power you cannot possibly imagine or create on your own. And as its power grew, so did its mind, and now it possesses intelligence and a need to leave these shores.”

Vanitas was up to his waist and slowing gradually.

“If we were human, it would swallow us, starting with the heart. With the heart corrupted by Darkness, it would be in complete control for all eternity. The human would be gone forever.”

He was up to his neck now, his light flickering in and out.

“But as angels who have cast out our hearts, there will be no foothold for the Darkness to take. In its attempt to feast, it will turn our Light into Darkness so that we may thrive here in our new home.”

He was gone under the waves.

“And retain ourselves and our sanity.”

After a long moment, it would’ve been apprehensive if I still had emotion, Vanitas surfaced with a gasp. He floated for a second, then calmly walked back to shore.

Even without emotions, I still knew that his new, perverted form should’ve been unsettling and upsetting.

His wings had shed their feathers, now black, large, and leathery. Dark veins had crept up his hands, but were quickly fading, and his eyes were now a disturbing shade of amber, his pupils were long, like a goat’s and were black. Where his wings used to be, two kiko goat horns sprouted from his temples, they curled and twisted out and back behind his head and new, pointed ears. He grinned again, but it was peaceful this time. If he had a heart, I would say that he was happy.

Xehanort took him by the shoulder with pride, “Now, for the rest of us.” 

Ansem and Xemnas were already in the water. The rest of us exchanged glances, checking to see if there was any hesitation or misgivings, but if any of us did, we didn’t show it. Braig was the first of us to walk towards the ocean, and we followed him. 

Isa and I walked together, the point where the sand and the water met growing closer. I wondered, as I took my first step into the ice-cold ocean, if I still had a heart, would I have stopped there?

The water was so cold it burned. I could feel its chill creeping up my leg like a sickness, spreading more rapidly and growing stronger as I began to submerge. My joints began to ache and tremble, my ankle nearly gave out beneath me, but Isa hiked me up by my arm and kept me moving forward. 

Without a heart, I could soldier through the immense agony of wading into the dark ocean. I remember it being the worst when I was up to my neck. Angels can’t suffocate, but I was almost sure I’d stop breathing and die. My throat closed, my whole neck felt like a swollen, useless piece of flesh, capable of only feeling pain. 

Then, I was under. And I could _feel_ it. I could feel the Darkness trying to worm its way into me, could almost taste its thoughts, its anger, no, its cold and calculated _rage._ It was searching for something, it’s ravenous hunger searing through my skin, and it was furious that it couldn’t find it. 

Then, it changed direction, coming for my mind instead. It felt like needles pricking at my skull, but it couldn’t break through. It was seething with frustration, and afterwards, I figured out why. So many would-be feasts walked into its hands, but it couldn’t have a single bite. 

It screamed in my veins, with no other choice but to give up and let me go. I couldn’t break the surface fast enough, and I gulped down air before making my way back to the beach. 

My entire body felt like ice and fire. They were at war with each other for only a few moments after I was on the sand, but then settled into coexistence. There was the sensation of ice cubes between my shoulder blades, and it took me a second to realize that was the sensation of the others around me. Like how warm sunlight felt like angels. 

I heard a splash from behind me, and Isa was soon standing by my side. His eyes were now a wolf’s. His pupils, once reflections of the full moon, were darker, the color of the moonlight behind clouds. His irises were the same, unlike Vanitas, but his wings…

They were the wings of a lunar moth, except they were black instead of green with rich blue accents. His prosthetic had fallen off, showing that his left wing was in tatters, like a child had ripped it apart. His horns faded from his skin tone to black, and they elegantly curled behind his head and pointed ears, then up towards the sky. 

“Nice look.” I said, waving at his horns and wings.

He said, “My wing…”

I hadn’t noticed that Xehanort had approached us until he paternally touched Isa’s shoulder, “We will make a new one for you.”

He nodded, but continued to stare at the sand.

After we had all taken a swim, Xehanort finally took his turn. Unlike us, he did not falter or flinch, just kept walking until he was gone. He was under for a long time, then he finally resurfaced and came back to us.

His wings were still black, but they reflected no light. They were two voids, you could only tell they were feathered because of the outline. Unlike the rest of us, four goat horns sprouted from his head. The two that sprouted on top spread out in tight, sharp curls, and the ones beneath them simply stuck out and curved forward, framing his face. Like Vanitas, his eyes were amber and his pupils were pitch black and a goat’s. A quick look was all I needed to know that they were the only ones with such similar and drastic changes.

A smile curled his lips, “Demons, welcome to your new lives.”

-

-

We adopted new names for ourselves, all except for the original four, Xehanort, Xemnas, Ansem, and Vanitas. We rearranged the letters, slapping an X where it was most convenient. An X to represent us crossing out who we were before. That’s how I got the name Axel, and how Isa got the name Saix. 

With our new names, we were also granted a title. Starting from Zero, Vanitas, and ending at Thirteen, Larxene. I was number Nine, Isa was number Eight. Xehanort had no title, except for the one humans gave him. He’s your Master of Darkness. 

Before we could find a new home, we first found what we named the Heartless. Dark beings with yellow eyes, living shadows. They work in hordes and attacked us as soon as we came close. They were easy enough to beat with all of us, but more and more would replace them. We’re lucky they would lose interest at every encounter.

We didn’t understand why, at first, and I’m not sure I want to know how Vanitas and Xigbar found out, but Heartless will only kill things that have hearts. We think it's because they don’t have hearts themselves. As a group, we couldn’t confirm it for a long time, but I guess they were right.

Heartless are manifestations of Darkness, mindless minions of its will. They seek to feed it, but were unable to find a way to its food source. The hearts of all living things, the dark emotions they hold. Hate. Sorrow. Jealousy. Greed. Anger. Grief. Fear. Their entire purpose is to release the hearts so that those emotions will join the Darkness, make the ocean deeper, make it stronger.

Until three years ago, they had no way to do that. Then, Xehanort opened a gate to a realm called Hollow Bastion, and through Hollow Bastion, they came to Earth. How, exactly, isn’t important right now. But, we should’ve known something was taking a turn for the worse when he did. 

Before that, we spent thousands of years skipping in between the Dark World and Earth. In the Dark World, we found the Castle That Never Was. There were other ruins, small towns to sprawling cities, temples, a maze of mines, but we rarely made use of them. But the Castle That Never Was was nothing like those. It was still a ruin, falling apart at the seams, but it didn’t look like anything a human made. Entirely black with slivers of pulsating purple light splitting through the granite. It took many years to repair it, but when it was done, it towered over everything.

There, we each had our own stuff going on, and we mostly kept out of each other’s business. Hard to pretend to be curious around demons who know you don’t have a heart to feel it with. There were times Xehanort, or Ansem, Xemnas, sometimes even Saix would order us to go do something for them, but it was rare enough for us to shrug it off.

On Earth, we fucked around, sometimes made messes, sometimes cleaned them up. Sometimes just pretended to be human to see what it was like. That’s how we ended up in your legends and stories, mostly painted as the bad guys, though I’ve heard that some of us snuck into the good guy role by mistake.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of years passed. We had what we called freedom, but couldn’t enjoy it. 

Then, the gate opened, and Xehanort's plot was set into motion. A lot of things started to happen all at once, but the most important thing happened a little over a year ago.

* * *

“Four hundred and forty-four days.”

Everyone paused to look at Roxas.

He had been staring at the hardwood floor, then met yours and Lea’s eyes, “It’s been that many days since Xion and I were born.”

A soft smile touched Lea’s lips, “Got the number memorized, do ya?”

* * *

Xion and Roxas weren’t born like any other demon. They weren’t angels, they didn’t fall. 

It started off like any other day. Woke up, did my thing, lazed around the Castle, then, we all felt it. There was a blast of cold air so strong it made my hair stand on end, like a subzero blizzard just hit full-force. 

I jumped to my feet, feeling that terrible cold, and I counted ten seconds before it began to slowly die down. The sound of the bell was tolled, and I warped into the Round Room where several of us were already assembled. 

On the tallest throne, Xehanort waited with Ansem and Xemnas to his right and left, until we were all seated before speaking, “I’m certain you all have felt the cold wind. That was the Darkness screaming in its vast rage.”

We sat in silence, digesting that information, and he continued.

“I have reason to believe that something has appeared at the Dark Margin. I will go investigate what has disturbed the waters so. Should I not return by the days end, Ansem and Xemnas will follow, and only them. Everyone else, you are to stay here until told otherwise.”

There was a flash of a crooked smile before he was enveloped in shadow and gone from his throne. 

“Quite the entrance, whoever it is.” Xigbar said with his signature, fake smile.

Xaldin scoffed, “What makes you say it’s a ‘who’ and not a ‘what’?” 

He shrugged, “I dunno. Just a feeling.”

Ignoring their bickering, Zexion put his fist to his chin, “It could be an abnormally strong Heartless. But why would the Darkness be angry about that?”

“Because it’s not a Heartless.” Vexen said with a conspiring smile, “Do you not remember it’s anger when we submerged but could not be taken by it? Something survived an encounter with the Darkness.”

He nodded slowly, “But it didn’t scream when it was us.”

Vanitas put his head against his chair to stare up at the ceiling, “Must be something reeeally special to rile the Darkness up like that.” 

Saix dipped his chin, pinning him with his cold blue eyes, “You sound like you already know what it is.”

He grinned, then vanished into darkness. 

Ansem’s voice cut through the room, “We will know when Xehanort returns.” Amber eyes swept the room.

“You have your orders.” Xemnas said, then, he and Ansem vanished.

I don’t know when their eyes changed color, exactly. Before, Ansem’s eyes were dark purple, and Xemnas’s was steel gray. But, at some point shortly before they opened the portal, their eyes turned amber like Xehanort’s and Vanitas’s. I brought it up on a whim with Saix, and when he wasn’t interested, I brought it up with Zexion, but he didn’t have an answer. I decided I didn’t really care and dropped it.

I wonder, if I had pushed a little harder, looked a little deeper, if we could’ve avoided all of this. If I could’ve saved Isa.

I glanced at Saix, but he was already warping out. I did the same.

At some point, we stopped talking to each other. It was gradual, slow, until eventually, it stopped altogether. I don’t know what changed, maybe we did. I acted out, I went to the human world freely to take all it could give, and Isa didn’t bother. He became cold and distant. He isolated himself in the Dark World, confiding in Xehanort and Xemnas more and more until he started to ignore me. 

I tried reaching out at first. I invited him to join me in my exploits, I gave a few measly attempts to still be his friend, but I gave up too easily. He ignored me, and I ignored him. We weren’t friends anymore. Maybe we hadn’t been for a long time. 

I went to my bedroom and decided to take a nap until we assembled again. I was able to will myself asleep at that point. Sometimes it was the only thing that could give me an echo of satisfaction.

I had a dream. It was so hazy I could barely make anything out, but through the fog I could see three figures. Teenagers. Two were all black, and one was gray. Their eyes were open, and the black ones had piercing golden eyes, the one in gray’s were a gentle, icy blue. They opened their mouths, and all I could hear was the ocean.

I gasped awake to the toll of the bell. After straightening myself out, I arrived in the Round Room. I was one of the last to arrive, Demyx came a minute behind me. Ansem and Xemnas weren’t in their seats.

Xehanort sat on his throne, a smile on his face, “I am pleased to announce that we have two new members to welcome to the fold.”

There was a chill. Two more demons? Did the others in Scala fall?

He waved his hand, and in walked Ansem and Xemnas flanking the two newcomers. The room dropped several degrees when they entered, but at the same time, I felt safe. I almost felt warm. 

They were teenagers, walking with their heads down. They wore strange clothes and didn’t have wings, but they did have ram’s horns and furry ears and tails. They weren’t like any of us.

“Number Fourteen, Roxas.” 

The blond lifted his head and I openly stared. He looked like a younger Ventus, almost to the T. His hair was darker, so was his skin tone, and from where I sat his eyes, sclera and all, were dark as night with two slits of light to pierce them. Ventus’s eyes were bright and blue-green.

There was no life in him at all. His tail hung limply behind him, and though he walked fine, he was slow. His eyes were flat, without thought, without comprehension. His expression was passive and neutral, no emotion at all.

 _What the fuck?_ I thought. What did this kid have to do with Ventus? He looks more like him than his own twin does. 

Before I could think on it, Xehanort introduced the other one. “Number Fifteen, Xion.”

They lifted their head, and I thought they looked like a girl. Unlike Roxas, they didn’t resemble anyone I knew, but there was an uncanny resemblance between the two of them. The ears and tails were the same, and their clothes were the same style but the colors were inverted. Roxas’s horns twisted out, but their’s curled forward, and their eyes were exactly the same.

“These two are twins, born from darkness of an extraordinarily strong heart.” Xehanort explained, “The heart of a keyblade wielder.”

My mind immediately jumped to an angel’s. I thought they were born from Ventus, but I was wrong.

Xehanort waved his hand at them with a kind smile, “Summon your keyblades.”

Without moving a muscle, a band of light appeared in their hands, and when it winked out, they each held a keyblade.

Roxas held a black and silver keyblade, all sharp points and elegant angles. I was surprised to find out that I could still hear the whisper of its name in my ears. _Oblivion._ Yeah, it looked like it could send you to oblivion. 

Xion held a very different one, bright yellow and green. It looked like it was made of the stars at first light. This one whispered _Aubade._ Separation at dawn. 

Everyone sat in silence, eyeing both the kids and Xehanort, waiting for the shoe to drop.

“I’ve made the decision to allow them to keep their keyblades. They have never been angels, and so there is no reason for them to disown them.”

 _Never been angels?_ I thought, rubbing my chin with my thumb, _But they have keyblades?_

“They have no memories of their own. It will be up to us to cultivate and care for them.”

Xigbar almost laughed. “I guess it takes a village.”

Larxene scoffed at him. 

I didn’t say anything, just kept staring at them. Why did Roxas look so much like Ventus? Why did they have keyblades? Why was it so _cold?_

Then, they were staring back at me. They shared with me little, unknown smiles with dead eyes. A little something stirred in my veins, so small I barely felt it at all. The fact that I was able to _feel_ in the first place didn’t occur to me until days later. 

They didn’t do much that first week. They mostly just stood and stared and had to be led to and from their bedrooms. The only thing they really responded to was their names, but if you talked to them for too long, you would lose them. It had to be simple sentences, yes or no questions. They didn’t understand basic things, like how to open doors, or to be careful where you stepped. Luxord once had to save Xion from stepping right off a balcony the fourth day, once they started walking around on their own.

I don’t know why, but they saddled me with a lot of the babysitting duties. I had to supervise them, talk to them, help with the little things. When I complained about it the third time they gave me my duties, Xigbar grinned.

“It’s cuz you have a way with people. They like you, and you like them.”

I don’t know if he meant it as a back-handed compliment or not, but after that I gave token resistance. When they started talking and walking on their own alright, I thought I’d be relieved from duty, but instead, as Zexion once eloquently put it, I got two new shadows. Demyx less eloquently called them ducklings, and I, their mom.

“Fuck off.” I grumbled, pinching my brow.

He hummed in amusement, lounging on the couch in the Black Room, plucking at his sitar, “I think it’s cute. Hey, Xiggy, don’t you think it’s cute?” He asked, because he’s kind of an asshole.

Xigbar grinned at me from behind the couch, “Don’t tell me you’re not a proud father, Axel. You don’t want the kids to hear that, do you?” His remaining eye had turned amber a while ago, too. 

I growled low in my throat. I wasn’t mad, that was impossible, but it wasn’t like I wanted to stand around being called a dad. 

Something gently tugged on my wing and I lifted it to see Roxas standing there with Xion beside him. He blinked, watching my leathery wing fold before falling to me.

“Yeah, Roxas?” I asked pleasantly.

He ducked his head slightly, then said, “Outside.”

I cocked my head to the side, “What about it?”

“We want to go out there.” He pointed to the round wall of tall windows.

Xion leaned forward, “We want to go see. Please.”

This was the first time they ever said something to me without prompting. And that would be the second time they had stepped foot outside the Castle. 

The first time, I was the one who asked if they wanted to stretch their legs. They agreed like zombies and followed me down the ramp. They weren’t ready to go into a Corridor yet, it would be easy to lose track of them in there if they decided to wander off. 

And yes, Roxas did almost fall off.

I cursed and grabbed his hand wrist before he could tumble right off the edge. I knew if there was any ground below, he would’ve probably gotten up no problem, but there was nothing under the Castle, just a bottomless hole.

“You gotta be more careful.” I scolded, letting him go to nudge his shoulder forward.

He didn’t move, just stared at the wrist I had saved him by. Finally, he said, “Careful?”

I kept myself from sighing, “Yeah. You don’t have wings like the rest of us, so if you fall, you’re going to fall.” I pointed at the void under our feet, “There’s no getting out of there if you don’t pay attention.”

He touched his wrist, then slowly turned his eyes to my hands. “Warm.”

After a second, I shrugged, “I’ve been told I run a little hotter than most.”

“Warm?” Xion echoed, watching us.

Roxas held out his hand, and she stared at it. Something clicked and they put their hand in his. Their eyes widened so slightly I barely noticed. Their fingers squeezed around each other.

“Warm.” Xion whispered.

“Not as warm.” Roxas corrected.

They turned their unending eyes on me. Without asking, they shuffled over and took my hand. There wasn’t any emotion on their face except a blink. “Warmer.”

I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I hadn’t held anyone’s hand like that in thousands of years. I couldn’t remember the last time I held someone without it being sexual. Touching just to touch. 

I let Xion hold my hand until they were satisfied. They dropped both our hands and waited for me to urge them down the ramp. I walked behind them, ready to grab them by their hoods in case they veered off-course again.

We walked a circle around the castle, far enough from the edge for me to be comfortable. They did look around, but it was listless and vacant. I didn’t know if they even recognized that they were outside.

Back to that current moment, I followed his finger to the dark sky that could barely be called a sky. “If it means I can get away from these guys, sure. C’mon.”

As I led them out of the Castle, they did, as Demyx had pointed out, follow me like ducklings. I haven’t gotten that image out of my head ever since. They got better at being aware of their surroundings and that time I didn’t need to keep them from falling off. Talking was another matter.

“Say, Roxas, who’s that?” I asked, pointing at Xion.

He looked, “My sister.”

“Yeah, but what’s her name?”

That one took a second, “Xion.”

They turned their head to him at the sound of their name.

“Xion, who’s he?”

“My brother.”

“Yep. What’s his name?”

They were on the ball, “Roxas.”

“Correct again. And what’s my name?”

They both stared at me, but it only took three seconds, “Axel.”

“Got it memorized?” I grinned, “Aaand our leader’s name?”

Tack on two extra seconds, “Xehanort.”

“Mhm.” I said, stepping off the ramp, “Won’t be forgetting that name anytime soon. Too bad it’s such a mouthful.”

A long pause, “It’s a mouthful.” Roxas agreed.

They trailed just a little behind me for a while. I felt comfortable enough to take them a little farther from the Castle. While we walked, I quizzed them on their memory.

“Where do we live?”

“In the Castle.”

“What’s the Castle called?”

“The Castle that Never Was.”

“What realm are we in?”

“The Dark World.”

We were walking past one of the many paths leading to the rest of the world. This one was filled with colorful crystals and there was a set of dilapidated trolley tracks that lead to a steep slope down into a maze of mineshafts. It was easily one of the more beautiful settings of the Dark World.

“Do you remember anything before you arrived in the Dark Margin?”

They both went silent. Then, they both stopped walking.

I turned around and saw them both boring holes into the craggy ground. There was still no emotion, but there was definitely _something_ in those eyes. They were wide, almost wild, and there was a tremble in their legs and arms that crept to the rest of their bodies. Their heads started to shake and for the first time in a long time, I felt something like unease.

Before it could go any further, I grabbed them both by a shoulder, “Never mind! Calm down.”

They snapped out of it immediately. They blinked slowly, then looked at my hands on their shoulders, then up at my face. There was a small spark of awareness, but I don’t think they remembered the last few, brief seconds.

I let them go and they stayed where they were, depthless eyes on my face. I recognized that stare from somewhere, and I realized it was the same look that babies give to their parents. 

This time, they walked beside me. _What the fuck_ was _that?_ I thought to myself, _And why the hell am I stuck with toddlers in teenage bodies?_

The Dark World is full of Heartless, the exception being the perimeter of the castle. Sometimes, Xehanort would summon Heartless inside so that we could train in a controlled environment. I never knew how he learned to do that. I had tried on several occasions, but no dice. So, I was careful to keep close to the castle so that we wouldn’t be ambushed.

Except, there was something I didn’t know. 

I heard the moan and gurgle of them warping in. I grabbed both Roxas and Xion’s arms, threw them behind me and summoned my chakrams. 

The Heartless that appeared were merely grunts, but we knew that they arrived in waves. The only way to get away from them was to kill as many as you needed before they went away, or run away yourself. Usually, I’d take care of the ones in front of me, then get out, but I had two barely-functional kids with me that time. I didn’t know what to do.

“Stay back!” I ordered, hurling a chakram at the nearest Fluttering before it could dive behind me, “Roxas, Xion, get back to the Ca – “

Two blurs shot past me, one on each side. Two flashes of light blinded me, and then they were there, holding their keyblades and ready to fight like they’d done it all their short lives. Wisps of black and purple hissed and faded where two Heartless had been before. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, then saw the Heartless shiver in unison. Their hungry yellow eyes locked on their keyblades. “Get behind me!”

They ignored me and charged right into the growing throng of shadow monsters. I cursed and went in after them, throwing fire left and right. More and more Heartless popped up, and if it weren’t for the beautiful whispers of keyblade against hard exoskeletons, I would’ve lost them. 

I slaughtered my way to their sides, eyes still on the enemy, “If we go now, they’ll leave. So, c’mon, and –“ Then, I saw them in action.

They worked like two cogs of the same machine. I wouldn’t call their technique effortless, but it was producing results. I could tell by their body language that they were working completely on instinct, stuck on autopilot. They fought like they’d seen a dozen – a hundred battles. Sloppy, but effective.

I shook myself out of it and joined them, throwing everything I had into the fight so that it would be over and done with. What typically took three minutes or less took almost thirty before there weren’t any more Heartless left to kill.

Unlike any other fight, they didn’t lose interest. They didn’t bother with me all that much after some time, until I made myself a nuisance, but they were fixated on Roxas and Xion. Specifically, their keyblades. 

The two of them were panting when they were done, and sent away their keyblades when nothing else attacked. There were cuts and bruises all over them. I was in better shape and handed them both a elixir each.

“Guess our walk’s been cut short.” I said, eyeing the invisible divide between the Castle and the rest of the world, “Stick close to me. We’re going to see Xehanort.”

Like a switch, they were back to being zombies. I moved us closer to the castle, away from the outlands, and we made our way back to the castle. 

“Why do we have to go back?” Xion asked, “I want to stay outside.”

“Because the Heartless are acting weird. The Castle’s safer.” I answered.

Roxas’s eyes stared dead forward, “Heartless?”

“Those monsters that attacked us.”

There was a flicker of recognition in their eyes, like they knew that name. “They don’t like the keyblade.”

I lowered my chin, slowing my pace, “What do you mean?”

“They don’t like it.” Xion said.

“Why?”

They didn’t answer.

Inside, followed closely by the twins, I searched for Xehanort, but the best I could do was Saix. 

He was in the Black Room, standing by the window. His cold eyes shifted away from the report in his hand and onto me when I approached, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

My expression was neutral, but part of me wanted to be angry. _Fuck you,_ I wanted to say, _You’re the one who stopped talking._ “I need to talk to Xehanort. Something happened outside with the twins that needs his attention.”

There wasn’t any emotion on his face, “You can report it to me.”

If it were anyone else, I would’ve faked a scowl. “Nuh uh, this is something Xehanort needs to hear.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly, then opened a Dark Corridor, “Go to the Round Room. He’ll meet you there.”

I _tsked_ , “Follow me.” _As if that hadn’t been what they’ve been doing for a week now._

By the time we entered the Round Room through the Corridor, Xehanort was on his throne with his cheek on his fist. “Saix told me there’s something I need to hear, Axel?”

I put my hands on their backs and gently encouraged them to stand on either side of me, “A Heartless mob attacked us outside, but they didn’t lose interest. They kept coming for the twins, or their keyblades.”

Xehanort wasn’t surprised, “There’s no reason to be alarmed. You see, the Heartless are drawn to the power of the keyblade, it’s Light. They are natural enemies.”

Roxas and Xion were listening, but didn’t say anything.

“But they came from the Darkness. So, wouldn’t their keyblades be the same?” I asked.

He shook his head, “Though it’s true they were born from the Dark Margin, the Darkness does not see them as an ally as it does us, for the simple reason that they are immune to its influence and power. And, I believe in time, their power will outmatch it.”

That was hard to believe, but Xehanort was rarely wrong, “So, it’s mad at them.”

“Not mad, resentful. These two carry with them both the power of Darkness and power of Light, and they will be forever out of its reach. You know that it wishes for nothing else then a way to leave the shores. Imagine it’s frustration to have a perfect host land in its lap, only for it to rebuff any attempt to control it.”

I didn’t pay attention to him referring to Roxas and Xion as a singular person. I should’ve, though. 

The question had been bugging me for a while, “Who’s Darkness are they from?”

A sly smile twisted his lips, “You will meet him soon enough.”

Knowing he wasn’t going to give any more answers, we left. 

_“You will meet him soon enough.”_

_What the hell?_ I thought, escorting them back to the Black Room to relax. I looked at Saix and caught him eyeing me. _He knows._ I narrowed my eyes, _Whatever’s going on, he knows._

-

I didn’t care enough to corner Saix, not at first. It wasn’t until I went to Castle Oblivion and met the boy who Roxas and Xion came from that I felt like doing anything at all. I won’t go into details, they’re not important right now, but that boy is special. I quickly understood why something was created from his emotions. He has a strong heart, and despite not being an angel, he’s able to wield the keyblade. He, and the girl we separated him from, the girl that looks like Xion. They’re both special.

I nearly killed Vexen when he almost spilled the truth to him about Roxas and Xion’s existence. All at once, I felt a protective surge that must’ve been growing since the day I met them. I don’t want to know what would’ve happened if Sora ever knows about them, because if he does, then others will, too. Others that would see them as a threat and would kill them if given the chance. I realized that in two seconds, and I knew what I was doing when I appeared in that room, made to look like the Castle that Never Was from the memories connected to Sora. I was ready to kill him in front of him, because I was afraid. 

I didn’t have a heart, and I was afraid.

I didn’t, though. I reigned in my strength and allowed him to live, allowed them all to live because Saix told me to teach them a lesson, that Xehanort would take it from there and make sure they never tried double-crossing him ever again.

I didn’t see Marluxia, Larxene, or Vexen for a few weeks after we were driven from the Castle, but when they returned, they behaved themselves. I don’t know what Xehanort did, and I don’t think I want to.

As for me and the kids, we kept hanging out. They were allowed outside on their own and were encouraged to defeat any Heartless they came across. They learned fast. How to behave like fully realized people, how to play poker, how to ignore things that were bugging them, how to refuse to take things at face value, but the thing that came the easiest was fighting. They could wield all forms of magic, even how to heal, which Roxas is especially good at, and they could bend Light itself to their will. The only other person I’ve ever seen do that was Eraqus, but theirs aren’t like his. Not sheer and blinding like staring at the sun, it’s gentle, it’s serene, it’s violent, it’s deadly, like the last rays of sunlight splitting the sky before it’s gone. 

They would say weird things. When I returned from Castle Oblivion, they said that they were worried about me. I asked how they could worry about me if they didn’t have hearts and how did they know that word? The answer was: We’re not sure, and the library. Turns out they’d been studying with a dictionary at their side in their free time while I was away. They knew more about history than I do.

It would just be the three of us, hanging out at the top of the Castle, overlooking the dark, ugly, bitterly beautiful world below us. They can’t fly, so we couldn’t go all the way up, but there was a balcony high up and secluded enough that we weren’t bothered. We’d talk about stupid stuff, and we’d laugh. I laughed, for the first time in thousands of years, I really laughed, I felt an echo of joy. Before I knew it, I was slowly starting to feel again.

The only downside was, the closer we got, the further Saix and I grew apart. He didn’t take it out on us, much. He didn’t really care, but there were times I caught him staring at us with this bitter look in his eyes. 

_What right does he have looking at us like that?_ I thought to myself, _He’s the one that left._

Then, Roxas collapsed, and everything changed. It was out of the blue, he just stopped walking, put his head in his hands, fell to his knees and lost consciousness. He didn’t wake up for weeks.

Xion was at his side as often as they could be, but Saix swooped in and started sending them into the outlands, on their own. 

They were leaving just as I was entering the Black Room. “Where’re you going?”

There were little bags under their eyes, “Saix told me I need to go practice.”

Something crawled and bit into my shoulders and neck, “He’s making you go outside again? Is anyone going with you?”

They shook their head.

My eyes slid over to Saix, who wasn’t even looking at us, “Wait here.” And I stalked over to him.

“You’re not going to let anyone go with her?” 

He barely glanced up from his book, “Why should I?”

For the first time, I really felt like slapping him, “She’s tired, and it’s not safe out there. You know they’re attracted to the keyblade.”

“Xehanort wants to see what her limits are. Roxas will have his turn.”

I had questions, I had lots of them. Why did we break into Castle Oblivion, despite the chance we’d be caught by its Master? Why were we messing with keyblade wielders? Why were there human keyblade wielders in the first place? And why did Xehanort send the Heartless to Hollow Bastion?

“What does he want with them?” I growled, low enough that Xion couldn’t hear me. “You know something, I know you do.”

He closed his book and sized me up coolly, “A tool is a tool, and we will use them accordingly.” Before I could respond, he stood, “Do yourself a favor and don't get attached.”

My emotions are small, but they still hit me like a truck every time. I was angry. But I knew better than to go against Xehanort's orders. I knew how he handled people who defied him. So, Xion kept going alone. 

They were fine, most days. They kept getting stronger and stronger, but there were still exhausted bags under their eyes. Again, they were worried, this time for their brother. 

He did wake up, but after he did, he was easily irritated, more so than usual. I caught him doing something menial, I think he was sitting on a couch in the Black Room, nothing to suddenly shudder and growl about. 

A month or so later, Xion passed out. It took almost exactly the same amount of time for her to wake up as it did Roxas. And, just Saix promised, he was sent out to kill Heartless on his own. 

_A tool is a tool._ I pulled my hair, _What the fuck did he mean?_

One quiet night, when almost everyone was in bed, I snooped around, searching for some kind of clue. I started in the library, though I doubted it would answer anything, it could point me in the right direction. And it did answer one thing; the reason the girl could wield the keyblade, but not the boy. I still had no answers for him. 

After a few nights combing through the many, many books, Xion woke up. Like and unlike Roxas, there was something different in their behavior. They were confused, not irritated, and there were times when they’d get really quiet, eyes staring at something I couldn’t see. They’d snap out of it, and pretend nothing happened, but something had..

What really started pushing me to find answers was when they told me something, and I lied to them.

The two of them were encouraged to write in journals. Maybe to help their memory? What I didn’t know was that they were sometimes sharing what they were putting in there with each other. Then, one day, they shared some of it with me.

We were sitting at the usual spot, but they were quieter than usual. I wasn’t going to pry, but I felt something. I felt worried? Is it ironic that I felt the same thing I claimed they couldn’t months before?

“Axel,” Xion said, “there’s something we… need to show you.”

I put my hand on my knee, “Okay?”

Slowly, they each pulled out a black leather journal, bound together by dull gray string. They flipped to different pages. They were both frowning, but Roxas was borderline upset, and Xion was sad, maybe even resigned. 

_They don’t have hearts._ I reminded myself, _We don’t have hearts to feel with._

Roxas showed me a lined page, a few paragraphs long, and a drawing of a familiar boy in ink, “There’s a boy. We see him, sometimes. We have dreams about him.” His eyes were hard as he stared at me, “Do you know who he is?”

I felt my stomach sink, but I kept my expression neutral. I wasn’t going to tell them who he was. I didn’t know what they would do if they knew. “Sorry, but I don’t know him.”

Xion leaned around him, eyeing me. There was something about them, like they could see through lies like they were glass, “He can wield the keyblade, like us. He looks like Roxas.” Their eyes saw straight through me, “We get déjà vu so strong when we see him, it hurts.”

Yes, Roxas _does_ look like Sora, and he also looks like Ventus, and Sora almost resembles Vanitas. I know there’s a connection, but I still don’t know what it is.

Then, she said in a voice I almost recognized as theirs, “It feels like our bones are his.”

I felt my fingers clench on my knee. They were figuring it out themselves, Xion especially. They flipped through their journals, showing me pages upon pages of drawings of him, and of the girl he was travelling with, the other keyblade wielder. 

Roxas did the same, but instead of the girl, his was a boy. He was the boy Vexen and the little witch shaped Vexen’s golem into, his image plucked straight from Sora’s heart. The real boy was the one that defeated the guys in the basement, one by one. It was hard to admit we all got our asses handed to us by a bunch of teenagers.

I didn’t like thinking about them. I didn’t like that feeling that I had done something wrong when I attacked him. 

“You’re sure you don’t know him?” Roxas asked.

I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to bide my time, “Can’t say that I do.” I lied, “Sorry.”

We unhappily parted ways after that. Thing is, I did know why they were having visions about him. They’re connected, they’re a part of him, but at the same time, they’re their own people. I just didn’t know how to tell them. I needed to, and I did, but I should’ve done it sooner. If I had told them the truth right then and there… Maybe this all could’ve been avoided.

I’ll say it before, and I’ll say it again: for all my smarts, I’m still so stupid.

They didn’t bring it up again for a while, but I decided I needed answers, now more than ever. I moved my search from the library to Vexen’s lab, careful not to disturb anything that would tip him off. I thought it was another dead end, until I came upon an entry:

_The Emerged Study,_

_Log One_

_Master Xehanort entrusted me with logging Roxas and Xion’s progress, with Xigbar and Saix informing me of any changes._

_Today marks the seventh day after their birth. Their memory is still lacking, but they are retaining information faster than I had hoped. They are also showing favoritism towards certain members, but they gravitate towards Axel like the moon to the Earth. It’s most likely because he was the one ordered to care for them the majority of the days after their birth. Young children do hang onto the coattails of their families._

_They went outside the Castle with him today. They (Roxas and Xion) were attacked by droves of Heartless, just as Master Xehanort knew they would be. The Heartless are attracted to the keyblade as only utter opposites can be. They cared not for Axel, but attacked Roxas and Xion with vicious intensity._

_Xigbar, who had been watching the affair from afar, reported that they have retained most of their prowess with the keyblade, such as the one they came from. The human keyblade wielder, Sora._

_Why this boy is able to wield our holy weapon, I do not know. He is not a Prince of Heart, unlike his companion, but he has been bestowed a Guide from the Ancient, Yen Sid. He also gave one to the Princess of Heart, a girl named Kairi._

_The Ancient of Light has never interfered with humans or their world, as the three of them had agreed upon so long ago. My hypothesis: it is because the Ancient, Maleficent, has released the Heartless Xehanort sent to her realm, as well as her Familiars, onto Earth. Her hunger for power and dominance over all life forced his hand into choosing a hero to slay her. And slay they did. To think the Ancient of Darkness would be reduced to nothing more than a shadow’s wisp under their might._

_To think what Roxas and Xion can accomplish. They hold their sire’s power twofold and are able to bend both elements to their will. They will be unstoppable._

_End Log_

I usually stopped my searches before midnight, so that I could get some sleep and keep the others from getting suspicious, but this time was different. I needed to get to the bottom of this. 

I combed through every report I could get to before having to leave, but they were mostly day-to-day updates on their growth. There were so many of them, some of them pages long, that I couldn’t get through all of them in one night.

There were reports on Castle Oblivion, too, which I read in the coming nights. He wasn’t an active part of Marluxia and Larxene’s plot, but he still had to be reminded of who he was loyal to. By his reports, he was unaware of this. After his final report, titled simply: The Boy Survived, We Lost, it was never mentioned again.

 _What did Xehanort do to you?_ I wondered. It didn’t bother me before, but it was starting to. Because, what if he decided he needed to do it to me? Or Roxas? Or Xion? The back of my mind whispered, _Or Isa?_

I didn’t sleep well that night. I dreamt of amber eyes and clawed hands tearing apart my chest, reaching for something inside me that was long gone. I knew it was painful, but I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel it, and I didn’t stop it. So, they kept digging and digging until it broke through my spine and out through my back. My chest was an empty hole, gaping, bleeding black tar, intestines and lungs dangling and damaged. The claws scraped past them, ripping my back into black, bloody ribbons. 

I heard screams, but it wasn’t me. They were younger, higher pitched. Sobs of terror, of sorrow, of anger. Roxas’s screams. Xion’s screams. 

I woke with a gasp, sweating, and afraid. I had no heart, and I was afraid.

When I sat with them at a table, talking about little things, they didn’t look well-rested either. They were distracted, little furrows in their brows. I looked around and saw no one else in the Black Room.

“Hey,” I said, “What’s eating at you guys?”

They shared a look, a silent exchange. 

“We’re having more dreams.” Roxas finally said, pinning me with his heavy gaze.

I was already thinking of all the lies I could tell them, and a voice screeched at me, _Stop it! Stop the fucking lying!_

“What about?”

Xion held their hands to their stomach, something I’ve come to realize they do when they’re uncomfortable or upset. Things I was slowly realizing they both could feel, and in an intensity that was lost to me.

“It’s about a girl.” They said, “We’re both seeing her. She’s foggy, but familiar.”

My first thought was: _Kairi?_ “What’s her name?”

Roxas stared at Xion, “Her name’s Naminé.”

* * *

“Wait, _what?”_ You nearly shouted, “Who?!”

All eyes turned on you, varying amounts of alarm and confusion on their faces.

“What?” Lea asked, “Naminé?”

You felt your eyes bugging out of your head. So many thoughts had already been tumbling around your head, but Naminé? _Your_ Naminé?

You stuttered for a few seconds before shaking your head, “It – It can wait. Keep going.”

Lea’s brows furrowed at you, and you could see the cogs turning behind his eyes. But he continued.

* * *

I kept myself from flinching. _There’s no way._ _There’s no way they can see her._

You see, Naminé is a witch with power over hearts. If you don’t have a heart, you can’t see her like they were – are. You can see where I’m going with this. If she was appearing in their dreams, they were growing hearts of their own.

“That’s all we know about her.” Roxas said, “When we try to talk to her, we can’t make anything she says out.”

Xion nodded, “She’s real. I know she is. And she’s getting clearer.”

I wanted to lie. I wanted to lie. I wanted to lie so badly I ached.

I heard myself say, “Don’t tell anyone else about these dreams, okay?”

They both flinched.

“You know her, don’t you, Axel?” Roxas asked.

“Only a little.” I kinda lied, “But it’s important that you don’t tell anyone else.”

Xion leaned closer, their eyes searching, “Why? What would they do?” When I was quiet, their gaze hardened, “What would they do, Axel?”

I swallowed, “I don’t know. But it won’t be anything good.”

I started to search harder. I searched longer. I stayed up for hours going through all of Vexen’s reports, even the inconsequential ones, for a scrap of anything.

I came across a hidden folder and didn’t think much of it, at first, but it was encrypted. I got curious, managed to crack it and read the first entry:

_The Secret of the Amber Eyes_

_Xigbar’s eyes have turned the same shade of amber as Xehanort’s and Vanitas’s. Xemnas and Ansem have possessed the same color for many years, as well._

_Xehanort and Vanitas were unique when they became demons: theirs’ were the only eyes that changed hue. It has long intrigued me as to why such a change occurred, and now it is spreading, but how? I do not have enough data to make any sound hypotheses._

_However, the resemblance to the shade of yellow that Heartless posses does lead me to believe it has something to do with the Darkness. There is no information to support this. All I can do is wait and watch._

_I shall encrypt my entries in case my Master should think me too curious for my own good._

I stopped reading after that, but it still stuck in the back of my mind. 

Every single report he made about Roxas and Xion began with: _The Emerged Study._ Like they were one person, not two. As I was browsing through them again, I realized that was exactly the same way Xehanort referred to them. One, singular being.

_The Emerged Study,_

_Log One-Hundred Eighty-Six_

_Roxas and Xion have been behaving abnormally over the past month and a half. The probability that they are remembering who they came from, or the memories of their birth, may be returning to them. Should they remember anything distressing, it could prove disastrous to Master Xehanort’s plans. They will rebel._

_Against Xehanort’s wishes, Axel has taught them how to use the Dark Corridor. We agree that he has gotten far too attached and will need to be reminded to view them with neutrality once more. If we don’t, he, too, will rebel when Xehanort forces them to merge back into their true self._

I paused there. True self? Merged? Nothing else in the report shined any light on it, but one thing was for certain: Roxas and Xion weren’t born twins, not at first. And if Xehanort forced them back together, what would happen? Or, a better question, what were they like in the first place? And what was I going to do to keep that from happening?

By that time, I was caught up with his reports, so I started sneaking in once a week to read the updates.

Things were getting a little strained between us. I think they, but especially Xion, were realizing I wasn’t telling them the full truth, that they were in some sort of danger, and who they really were. Xion has always been the most perceptive of us, they’re smart and see through lies like they’re nothing. Definitely smarter than Roxas.

* * *

“Yeah, I won’t fight that.”

They smiled for the first time since you’d seen them that night, “Good, because it’s true.”

* * *

These thoughts kept turning over and over in my head as I sat at our usual spot, overlooking the Dark World. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be on Earth, drinking my mind into a muddy haze, up to see the sun set and the dawn rise, then sleep it all off for an entire day.

“Axel.”

I turned to the sound of Xion’s voice. They stood at the doorway, their hands at their sides, their eyes pinched in some phantom pain. 

“Hey, Xion.” I patted the spot next to me.

They didn’t move for a second, then sat with their legs dangling over the ledge. We watched the dark clouds pulse and move, like muscles of some monster.

“Axel, we’re running out of time.”

My eyes shot to them. There was some guarded, sad expression I’d never seen on them before. Maybe not on anyone before, “What do you mean?” They said nothing, and I reached out and touched their shoulder, “Xion, look at me.” When they finally did, burning sunset gold and all, I said, “You can tell me anything, okay? Tell me what’s going, please. I’m here.”

Their eyelids lowered and their lip wobbled dangerously, “Something’s really wrong. Roxas and I, we keep seeing him. We keep seeing Sora, and that’s because…” They lowered their head, “It’s because we _are_ him, aren’t we?”

I was already shaking my head, “No – “

“But we are.” They snapped, “Roxas doesn’t understand yet, he keeps fighting it.”

My fingers tightened reflexively, but I willed them to squeeze their shoulder, like I remembered my sister did for me, once, “Even if he’s where you came from, you _aren’t_ him. You’re your own people.”

They sighed wearily, “But that’s not true, either. Roxas and I, we’re exactly the same, and… if something were to happen, then… neither of us would _be_ anymore.”

My blood went cold, and when they stood up, I reached for them, but they were gone in into the Dark Corridor before I could say,

“Xion…” My hand fell to the stone beneath me, then clenched into a fist. _How do they know his name? Running out of time? Wouldn’t_ be _anymore?_

I sat there for a long time, staring at the spot they had left. I didn’t even know they had run away until the next day, when Roxas asked if I had seen them at all. After that, the entire castle was organized chaos, with Xehanort as the orchestrator. He wanted them found. He wanted them found _now._

Roxas was getting angrier. He used to be pretty cheerful, most days, but after Xion ran away, cynicism became his default. It was her disappearance that finally made things click in his head. He still wasn’t completely caught up, but he was catching on. 

“Axel.”

I turned to him. It was just us in the Black Room, and for once, I felt cornered. 

He stood there, fists at his sides, head lowered. “Do you know where Xion is?”

I hadn’t told a soul what had happened before they left. I had a feeling I knew where they were headed, the one place they had strict instructions to never go: Earth. Where Sora was born.

I scratched my head, it was starting to become a tick, “Can’t say that I do.” When he didn’t respond, I said, “But we’ll find her. I promise.”

His blue eyes burned into me, “Are you lying again?” 

Any words I could’ve said were caught in my throat. No matter how I answered, I wouldn’t look good. Either I lied again, or admitted that I lied and had been lying for a long time. 

“Everyone’s lying to us about something, aren’t they? I can’t get a straight answer from anyone, not from you, or even Xion!” He growled low in his throat, “Something’s different about us. Xion and I.”

I didn’t argue.

“Do you know what it is?”

I sucked a gust of air through my nose. _Stop lying._ The voice told me, _Step up. Stop lying. Stop thinking about what you could be doing and_ do _something._

I looked around, even up in the corners of the ceiling, and when there was no one, I held out my hand, “Come with me.”

He glared at me for a long moment, and I thought he wasn’t going to cooperate, but he finally put his hand in mine, “No more lying, Axel. Promise.”

I grimaced and summoned a Dark Corridor, “I got it memorized. Let’s go find Xion.”

We walked through the Corridors in silence for a long time, side by side.

“Where are you taking me?”

“To Destiny Islands.” I said, keeping pace, “That’s where Sora’s from.”

I heard him gasp softly, “Earth?”

“Yeah.”

“You could get in a lot of trouble with Xehanort for this.” He unhelpfully reminded me, but I could tell he was scared. For me. 

I stared straight ahead and ignored the faint spark of fear in my non-existent heart, “I know. And I don’t care.”

We finally came to the end, but I held out an arm to stop Roxas from walking through the portal, “Destiny Islands is overrun with Heartless.” I warned, “Be careful.”

He nodded once, “You too.”

“What are you talking about? I’m always careful.”

We both stared at the swirls of whispering black shadows.

“You think she’s out there?”

“I’ve got a hunch.”

“Then let’s go.”

When we stepped outside, things, at first, seemed fine. We found ourselves on a small, wooden dock, right off an empty, sandy beach. But it was way too dark for a sunny afternoon at the beach, it was way too cold for early September, and the air smelled of rot; sweet, sour, and putrid. Just a few moments after the Dark Corridor whispered closed, Heartless emerged from the shadows, twitching and writhing out of the woodwork.

We summoned our weapons and quickly started making work of the Heartless appearing around us. Roxas had gotten so strong in such a short amount of time, I could barely believe it, but he mowed them down like it was easy. 

I directed us to sweep over the beach, from where we began to the other side, where a papou tree rested, untouched by the Heartless. The ocean breeze blew against my face, it was wet and warm. 

I gasped, “Roxas, Xion’s here, somewhere!”

He nodded, snarling down at the Shadows, who were growing in size and in strength the longer we stuck around. We hacked and slashed closer and closer to the bridge that connected the island to the smaller one just off the shore. 

A Neoshadow made an unwelcome appearance just before we jumped. It popped out of the ground and swiped at us with its long talons, but it surprised us more than it hurt. Before we could retaliate, it dove back into the shadows. We lost it in the swarm, but then I felt the ground under my feet grow frost. 

“Jump!” I took Roxas’s hand and launched messily from the sand, just before the Neoshadow could drag us into the pool of Darkness. 

I spared it a quick glance, only to see it glaring balefully at us from within the living shadow with those round, glowing eyes.

Roxas yelled, “Xion!”

They were collapsed beside the papou tree, the Heartless were crawling all over them like maggots on a dead body. 

He roared like a beast and charged at them. He released several pillars of light that circled around Xion, and then violently spun outward. All the Shadows became dust and smoke, and all that was left was their unmoving body.

We ran to them, and I gently picked them up in my arms. To my relief, they were still breathing.

Roxas immediately cast healing magic on them, and beautiful, tangible paint strokes of green and gold swept around them, then budded into a flower before fading. Their eyes moved under their lids, then slowly fluttered open.

“Axel…?” They whispered hoarsely.

“Xion.” I shook my head, something inside was twisting almost painfully, “You’re okay. We’ve got you, now.”

They groaned and wheezed low in their throat, “No.”

Roxas was kneeling beside them, and took their hands in his. His voice was a croak, “I’m so glad we found you. But what were you thinking? You could've gotten killed!”

Their eyes got wet, “We need answers, Roxas.” They said, their voice cracking with misuse, “Xehanort… he’s hiding something, about us. Something important.” They winced in pain.

 _I could’ve told you that,_ I thought with a hint of remorse, _but I didn’t._ I bowed my head, _This is on me._

I made to stand, but a blast of cold hair raised the hairs on my arm. A huge pool of liquid shadow had manifested on the beach, between us and the Dark Corridor. An absolutely ferocious Darkside emerged, clawing its way out of the ground, silent as can be. Then, it stood at it’s full, terrifying height. 

“I’ve got this.” Roxas muttered, “You protect Xion.”

I summoned a chakram in my free hand, using the other to hold them close to me, “Don’t worry, I will.”

Strangely enough, I don’t remember a lot about the fight. While Roxas was dealing with the Darkside, the Shadows returned and started attacking me to get to Xion. It was a blur of darkness, yellow eyes and fire, and Xion’s weak breathing in my ear. 

Then, a gurgle and a hiss, and the chill abated a little. I turned my head in time to see the Darkside collapse to one knee and fade.

Roxas stood for one second, keyblade in hand, and he was down the next. 

I shouted his name, swept the immediate line of Heartless out of my way, and crashed to his side on the beach. He was panting laboriously. I shook his shoulder and wished I could heal him. Then, I remembered my pocketed elixirs that I always had on hand, but I had to work fast, before more Heartless could show up and attack. 

I had to lower Xion a little to get into my pockets, and when I looked up, I didn’t know what I was seeing. 

Roxas and Xion’s forms were wavering and pulsating, pulling towards each other like thread trying to pull two pieces of cloth together. It felt like Xion was being pulled out of my arms, and try as hard as I did to hold them back, their body was beginning to merge with Roxas. 

Their eyes were open, and they were terrified. They opened their mouth, but their scream echoed like they were at the far end of a tunnel. 

“Hold on, stop it!” I shouted, trying to hold on to their disappearing body, _“Stop it!”_

Their faces pulled together, and Roxas’s eyes opened. For a moment, just for a moment, I saw four empty eyes staring at me from behind a red mask, no mouth, no sound. Their hair turned brown, and the shadows grew darker.

With no other option, I crushed the elixir over their heads. The gold evaporated, and for a second, all was still. Their goat pupils – the same color as the sunset, didn’t see me. I thought I lost them, and everything was sharp and numb at the same time. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think.

Then, the thread unraveled, and the two fell apart, away from each other. They gasped for air between sobs like they were drowning. 

Something scratched my back, and I knew the Shadows had caught up. Without losing another second, I picked up Roxas and bolted. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the cold wisps of Darkness engulf me. I never tried warping with other people, but I didn’t have any free hands to summon a Corridor. All I could do was hope.

We stumbled into my room and I nearly fell on my face. Roxas and Xion were, thankfully, still in my arms. I went to my knees on the hard stone, breathing hard. Emotions I hadn’t felt for a long time were threatening to break me. 

Then, over all the noise, I felt it. Against my chest were two little, fluttering heartbeats. They were so faint, I almost thought I imagined it. But then I felt the tears.

They were trying to stay quiet, but they were sobbing, almost wailing against my chest. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, which were still around them. I hadn’t heard crying for a long time, never mind being cried on. 

Then, all at once, I knew I had to help them. I had to find out what Xehanort was planning. And I was going to protect them with everything I have, damn the consequences. 

We stayed like that for a long time. Two crying kids, and a demon who shouldn’t have let it get that far.

-

I knew we had to run, but I also knew we needed to know why. I still didn’t know why Xehanort was going to force Roxas and Xion to merge, or why he allowed Maleficent to let the Heartless loose, or what he wanted with Sora and Kairi. A month, I told them, we’ll leave in a month unless it had to be sooner.

After we brought Xion back, I was summoned to the Round Room by Ansem and Xemnas.

I sat in my chair, eyeing the vacant crowned throne, “Xehanort’s a no show?”

“His presence isn’t necessary.” Ansem said, his arms folded over his chest as he stared down his nose at me, “How did you find Xion?”

I shrugged, “Just had a hunch and found her.”

“Yes, you said you found them far in the outlands, by that white castle.”

“Yeah.”

Xemnas narrowed his eyes, “Why do you lie to us?”

I went numb, “Excuse me?”

“You brought Roxas to Earth, to Destiny Islands, and you returned with Xion. You know neither of them are to be allowed on Earth, by Master Xehanort’s strict orders.”

Ansem lifted his chin, “An order you deliberately disobeyed, and had the gall to lie to us about.”

I have a good poker face, but damn if I wasn’t sweating like a sinner in church. “Did you send Xigbar to spy on me?”

A dry smile twisted onto Xemnas’s lips, “Xehanort knows the Darkness intimately. He knows when its power is summoned, he knows by who, where, and when.”

If I had a heart, it would’ve been beating out of my chest, “Should I be expecting some sort of punishment?”

Ansem shook his head once, “You retrieved Xion, and in one piece. Xehanort is merciful and will let this slight go. On the condition that you stop talking to Roxas and Xion, with the exception of business matters.”

In my head, I was screaming and cursing, on the outside, I shrugged, “Alright. Tell Xehanort thanks for me.”

They nodded, and waited for me to warp out. I wanted to go straight to Roxas and Xion’s room, when I remembered that Xehanort could somehow tell when Dark Corridors were used. _Fuck._ But an idea came to me immediately. So, I avoided them all day, and waited for everyone to be in bed before sneaking out.

I was twitchy the entire time I snuck through the halls, always looking over my shoulder and eyeing the walls. I strained to hear any little thing that could be a footstep, but nothing. 

When I got to Roxas’s room, I quietly knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again, just a little louder, no answer.

I sighed and opened it, “Roxas?” I whispered into the pitch-black room, but I could see him bundled up in bed just fine, “Roxas, it’s Axel.”

The sheets shifted, “Muh?”

I slowly closed the door behind me, “It’s me, it’s Axel.”

A sound like a disturbed cat, like a _mrrp_ , “Axel?” He grumbled, “It’s the middle of the night. What is it?”

“I’ve got some bad news.” I said, staying close to the doorway, just in case, “Xehanort knows we went to Earth to find Xion. He can sense when we use the Dark Corridors and where we go.”

He bolted upright, the sheets falling off of him in a pile, “He can what?”

“He’s letting it drop, but I have orders to not speak to you or Xion unless it's business.”

His eyes burned with frustration and fear through the dark, “Shit. What are we gonna do?”

“Stick to the plan.” I said, one ear turned to the door, “A month. Thirty days. Make sure you and Xion have whatever you need and be ready to leave at midnight. Be in her room, and I’ll come grab you.”

“But how are we going to get out? The only way is through a Dark Corridor.”

“We’ll have to run to somewhere random on Earth, then we’re going to run some more, until we’re far enough ahead they can’t follow us.”

“And if we have to leave sooner?”

“Then… make sure you’re prepared to leave at all times. It still won’t be until the middle of the night, that’s the safest way.”

He scrubbed his face with his palms, “Guess I’m staying with Xion.”

“Better get used to it.” 

“I’ll tell her in the morning.”

“Make sure no ones around to hear you, and it's best if you don’t approach me. Xigbar’s been spying on you.”

He groaned, “Of course he has. He’s a bastard.”

“Yeah. I better go. I’ll knock three times when it’s time. Be careful.”

“We will. You too.”

I opened the door a crack, then exited. I didn’t go to Vexen’s lab, I figured I tested my luck enough that night. But I already knew I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him. That left one last place to look. The Chamber of Repose.

If I wasn’t getting desperate, I wouldn’t have entertained the thought of breaking into Xehanort’s reprieve, but I _was_ getting desperate. I didn’t enter the moment I could, I spent nights watching and waiting, and I’m glad I did. If I barged in there, I would’ve walked right into him.

He entered near midnight every night, stayed in there for a few hours doing who knows what, then would leave. There were a few times I thought I got caught, but every time, he got this look on his face like he heard something and left, sometimes muttering to himself things I couldn’t understand.

On the fifth night, I waited for him to leave the Chamber. His back was turned to the open door, and I was hugging the wall and thanking my thin physique. I slipped in by the membrane of my wings before the door closed and found myself in the darkest room I’d ever seen. Even with my eyesight, it was hard to make everything out. 

The room was circular and mostly empty, with the exception of a throne and a round table hugging the wall. I picked my way through the room, watching my every footstep. It felt like something was watching me, and I spooked myself a lot thinking Xehanort had come back, but there was no one. 

I ignored the throne and came to the table, where I found an old tome. It was worn, warm brown leather bound by silver string. It wasn’t made in the Dark World, it looked like it was made in Scala ad Caelum. 

With one last look over my shoulder, I opened to the first page and began to read. And I read, and I read, and I read, and with every fucking page this pit starting growing in my gut. My blood was boiling, and I had to put the book down a few times or I’d burn it. 

It was a journal, started from when he was my age when I fell. Meticulously kept up to date and spilling all his vile secrets. All starting on the day he supposedly met an unknown Master in a dark hood.

He used us. He used every. Last. One of us. He didn’t want us to leave Scala so we could have freedom, he brought us to the Dark World so he could take it _away._ The whole reason he had us cast out our hearts, our keyblades, made us walk into the Darkness was so he could recreate The Great Keyblade War. The fucking crazy old man wants to start a new war with the guys left upstairs, and he’s willing to bring Earth down in order to do it. And what the hell for?

You’d think we’d never agree to such a thing, right? Of course we wouldn’t, especially the ones who survived it in the first place. That’s where our lack of hearts came in. 

The reason Xehanort and Vanitas’s eyes changed color was because they kept their hearts. They went into the Darkness and allowed it in, and that gave them more power than I know. Including the power to possess others. The reason Xigbar, Ansem, and Xemnas’s eyes changed color? Xehanort forced his corrupted heart into them. He had to make room.

I don’t know how far their possession goes. I don’t know if they’re a hundred percent him or what. But he plans on taking control of everyone.

Then, I got to Roxas and Xion’s chapter.

-

_The Darkness called to us today, its scream tore through us all. I left to the Dark Margin as soon as I was able and found a marvel. A beast, similar to that of a demon’s Corrupted Form, was standing at it’s shore. They resembled the boy who holds the key, Sora, and I knew that Maleficent had kept her end of our bargain. I have named Them, The Emerged._

_They did not respond to my voice, so I tried to approach Them. That is when They summoned two keyblades, twin replicas, and attacked. I, the vain old man that I am, assumed I would beat Them easily, but I was proven wrong. I wanted to keep Them intact, so that They would be at full strength when the time comes, but Their raw power is unlike anything I have ever seen._

_The power of the Darkness born in his heart is captivating as it is wild. The Emerged let loose no howls nor roars, but I could feel Their mindless hate and confusion and sorrow and fear. They were a mere beast, feral and without inhibition, and would have torn me apart if I had given Them the chance._

_When it was clear I could not beat Them on my own, I summoned my keyblade and placed a fatal blow between Their breast with great remorse. They immediately went still, staring down at me with those four eyes, and I knew They hated me. They yearned for nothing more than my demise. Some part of Them must know my role in this, and decided that I wasn’t to live a moment more._

_I had expected them to return to the waters from whence they came, but I was pleasantly surprised when The Emerged glowed, pulsing like that of a heartbeat, and unraveled. From the beast were born two demons unlike any that will ever live._

_They stood on the sand, staring into space, no thought nor reason behind their eyes. I asked if they could understand me, and their eyes focused on me. Their rage was no longer there, no emotion at all. Like the others, they are heartless._

_I asked them to summon their keyblades, and they did so. They were no longer the same, now unique, as I realized they now are. I have named the boy Roxas, named after the boy they were made from, now bearing an X. He will not be Sora ever again. The girl I have named Xion, after the sound of the waves from which they were born._

_They will stay here, in The Castle that Never Was and call it their home. They will be made to master the keyblade and its power, until the time comes and I make them one once more. I will leash Them and They will be my weapon against Scala ad Caelum. I fully expect them to lose the aspects that make them who they are in this encounter, and there is a chance that the same trick cannot be done twice. I must proceed with caution._

_The others have not asked too many questions, for which I am grateful. They mustn’t know my plans until they are too far gone to be reversed._

_There is a chance the Princess released her Darkness as well, and if that is the case, where is it? Darkness born from such pure Light must hold tremendous power, and the Darkness would never accept a trinket from her. Perhaps in the Realm Between? In the vacant Castle Oblivion?_

_I will send Xigbar to investigate. We do not want to catch the attention of the Realm’s Master._

-

I finally understood what Xion meant. He wants to make them into a weapon, which would mean that Roxas and Xion wouldn’t be themselves anymore. I had no way of knowing when Xehanort would decide to make them merge, and now that I knew, it was time to act fast. 

But before that, this next part happened.

It was the middle of the night, and I was actually sleeping for once. It was quiet, the calm before the storm. I never went back for more research, I thought I had all the answers I needed. 

There was knocking on my door. 

I woke up, sleepy and a little annoyed, and said, “Who the fuck is it?”

And I heard my name, my first name, my true name, for the first time in forever, “Lea.”

The voice was familiar, and I stopped and wondered when was the last time I heard it. When was the last time he called me by that name?

He said it again, broken and in pain, “Lea, I need – I need…” And, the part that scared me half to death, “I need help.”

I stared at the door, thought I was hearing things, but I got up and opened it, and there he was. Saix was standing on the other side, leaning against the doorframe, hardly able to breathe. His head was down, and when he raised it, his eyes weren’t blue anymore.

“Lea – “ He whispered hoarsely, “He – Xehanort – I – “

I don’t know what I said, probably lots of swearing, but he collapsed and I caught him. When I blinked, amber eyes and glitching pupils stared back at me. 

I dragged him inside and shut the door, “Saix, you idiot.” I growled, “You’re such a fucking idiot!”

He tumbled out of my arms heavily, half on the bed and half on the ground, “I… figured that out.”

“Shut up! No, what happened? Ugh!” I pulled at my hair, “Xehanort got to you.” And, then, all was still, “Did you let him?”

He closed his eyes and shook beneath his clothes.

I didn’t know what to do, and I still have no idea if it can be reversed, but my once-old friend was shivering in pain and cold and I found that I had to try, “You’re such an asshole.” I told him, straight up, “Are you still you?”

He nodded, shook his head, then groaned low in his throat, “I don’t know anymore.” He croaked, “He – He’s inside, now. I can feel him.”

I grabbed him by the shoulders, “Look at me.” And when his red-rimmed eyes opened, I said, “Who are you?”

He didn’t answer for a moment, exhausted from the struggle, “I’m Isa. I was born in our clutch, and you were my best friend. We told each other everything, and – and I miss that.” Would he have shed tears, if he could? “But we’re not friends anymore, and it’s my fault. “

I shook him gently, “What’s your secret, then? What’s the one thing you told me to never tell anyone?”

He stared at me with wide eyes, “That I… I sing human songs in my room, and I'm rather good at it.”

A breath I didn’t know I was holding blew out of me all at once, “Isa.”

Another shudder made him wince, “He’s inside me, Lea. He put a piece of his heart – “

“Yeah, I know.” And for a second, he thought I was in on it, but I quickly added, “I snuck into the Chamber of Repose and went through his diary.”

He breathed, “I can’t stay here, or he will…”

Several ideas went through my head at once, a few even told me I should drop him and run, but I couldn’t. I kept remembering the times when we were still friends, when we’d laugh at stupid things, and pull pranks on the dodos, and get in trouble, and have commune, and everything. And, it hurt, a lot. And, I needed to help him. Because that’s what friends are for, right?

“Alright.” I said, and grabbed my pack of essentials from under my bed, mostly munny and clothes. I carefully helped him up and put his arm around my shoulders.

“You… You’re helping me?” He said in my ear, frail as fledgling, “After everything?”

I sighed and closed my eyes, “I’m not giving up. And I’m not letting Xehanort win. We’ve got a stop we need to make, then we’re blowing this joint.”

We walked down the halls in silence, always looking around the corners before moving on. Every misplaced footstep made me wince, but there wasn’t anyone around. We were very, very lucky.

I knocked on Xion’s door three times, just like I said I would. There was scurrying, then the door cracked open. Roxas stared at me, then opened the door.

“Is it – “ Then, he saw Isa, “What? What the hell?”

“I’ll explain later.” I promised, entering and shutting the door behind me, “We’re taking him with us.”

Xion was pushing their bed against the door, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Roxas grimaced, but nodded, “Okay.”

“Got everything?” I asked.

They grouped around me, packs on their shoulders. “We’re ready.” Xion said, and I never believed anything more. 

Against, his grumblings, I picked Isa up in my arms, “Alright. Get ready for a lot of running. On three. One. Two. Three.”

-

We ran the entire time. To a random city on Earth, somewhere North, and we ran through five more, looking like humans of course. We ran until the ice between our backs wasn't there anymore, and then we crashed in a random motel room for a few hours, paid in cash. 

I bought my piece of shit car and a full tank of gas, and we drove. I don’t know why we stopped in Twilight Town, exactly. Maybe it was for gas, maybe it was to rest, but… something felt right when we got here. I can’t explain why, but to me, it felt safe. 

We slept in the car a few nights until I could find someone who would room us without any papers, and three months passed with us hiding in there, barely ever leaving. Then, these two left the apartment, put both me and Isa into a panic, and I met you. Rest is history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Be safe everyone!!  
> Also, if you want sneak peeks and updates on chapters, go ahead and follow my art blog: https://artoutforblood.tumblr.com/ and don't be shy! I love hearing from y'all!


	9. Muted Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is too much. Every single friend isn't who they said they were.
> 
> You are trespassing, and you will die.
> 
> TW: Body horror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! We were on a short hiatus as honeyishtar needed a break. We're back now! Thank you for your patience!

The final sentence hung heavy in the air. You sat on the hardwood floor, staring at Lea as if he’d laugh and say “Gotcha!” But, he didn’t. He sat beside you, horns, bat wings and all, waiting for you to say something.

You took a shaky breath, it convulsed in your lungs, and slipped right back out. No words were coming to you. You pressed your hands to your tired eyes, rubbed them, then slapped your face once. Nope, they were all still there. Still demons. Still absolutely _insane._

You groaned behind your lips, hunched your shoulders up to your ears with your hands over your eyes, “This is so fucking _crazy,_ Lea. This is nuts! I can’t – I don’t – “

He wilted a little, “Yeah, I get that. And I’m – “ He turned his face away from you, “I’m so sorry you got roped into our mess.”

“Fuck, yeah, me too!” You said with a wave of your hands, but when the three of them looked so miserable, you gently continued, “But I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Even as everything was too loud and too much all at once, and you had no idea how the day was going to end or what tomorrow would bring, it was going to happen. If you sat by, idle and complacent, it would run you over, and you’d find yourself in some sort of demon torture dungeon. Literally. What else could you do?

“Alright.” You sighed, “What do you guys need help with?”

Roxas and Xion wore grim smiles, “We’ve got our stuff packed, we just need to get Lea’s and Isa’s now.” Xion said.

Lea got up, “I’ll get my stuff. Roxas, mind watching Isa?”

He nodded, “Do you want me to wake him up?”

“I will, after we’re done.” Lea then turned to you, “We’ll stop by your apartment on the way out. Grab whatever you need.”

You took this news with numb acceptance and followed Xion to Isa’s room.

You had never been in any of their bedrooms before, but if they were anything like Isa’s, you wanted to cry. All he had was a mattress on the floor, a phone cable plugged into the wall, a space heater, and a backpack that was semi-full of folded clothes. The only thing you could take was the cable.

Xion coiled it carefully and put it in the front pocket of the drab, black backpack. They looked at the mattress, then the space heater, and sighed.

You put your hand on their shoulder and they flinched away. “Xion?”

They curled into themself, unable to look at you, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” There was a beat of silence, then you shook your head, “No, there’s no reason to be sorry.”

“We lied to you.” They whispered, the words heavy on their tongue, “I know what humans think of us. You think we’re monsters.”

It was true. That morning, if you ever thought you would run into a demon, you would’ve tucked tail and ran. You knew the stories, that they brought nothing but terror and sorrow in their wake, wanted nothing more than to turn humans against each other and cause as much destruction as possible. And, maybe part of it was still true, but not for them.

You touched their hand, “You’re not a monster, Xion.”

They gasped, then turned their eyes to you. Their pupils caught the light and burned.

Unable to think of anything else to say, you squeezed their hand. You picked up Isa’s belongings and stood up, waited for Xion to do the same, then left his room. Xion turned off the light on their way out.

Back in the living room, you stared at the scene. It could’ve been any other day. Roxas was sitting on the couch, with Isa snoring fitfully beside him, covered in his heated blanket. There were little sounds coming from Lea’s room, the shuffle of fabric and the quiet mutter of light footsteps. But the atmosphere was low and dark, like clouds heavy with rain. Roxas’s head was bowed, and his hands were fists in between his knees. Smooth horns curved behind Isa’s brittle, graying hair, and an elegant, black wing peaked out from under his blanket.

As you put the backpack beside the couch, Roxas mumbled, “Where are we gonna go?” He grimaced at the floor, eyes wet, “We got lucky last time, and they could be on their way right now. And even if we lose them, they’ll catch up to us eventually.”

Lea entered the room with a full backpack and a glower, “I hate to say it, but you’ve got a point.”

Xion went quiet and put their hand to their cheek in thought, “I have an idea.”

“Share.”

They closed their eyes, then opened them again, “We can go to Castle Oblivion.”

Lea straightened, looked at them like they were nuts, then gave it some thought, “You mean, we go through the back door? But we don’t know where that is, and I doubt DiZ would welcome us with open arms.”

Their fingers curled against their face, “It’s where Naminé’s at, and if she explained it to DiZ, about Roxas and I, he could come around.”

He put his hand on his hip, “Sure, but we still don’t know where it is.”

“I could ask her.” They said, “I can force myself asleep and meet her in The Final World, and she’ll tell us where to find it.”

At the mention of Naminé again, you felt your lips become a thin line. Was now a good time to mention that you knew exactly who she was?

Lea paused, then pulled out his phone, “Ten minutes.”

They nodded and ran to their room.

After a moment’s silence, your throat clicked, “So, about Naminé....”

Roxas and Lea eyed you. “Yeah, what was that about?” Roxas asked.

You intertwined your fingers and twisted them against each other, “I think I know her.”

They looked at you, then at each other, then back at you. “What?”

“I’ve been having these dreams. For a while. She’s in them.”

Lea was already shaking his head, “There’s no way. Human hearts aren’t strong enough to manifest in The Final World.”

“That’s what she said, too.” You said, “We thought the other were just dreams. I…” You let it wash over you, “I can barely believe she’s actually a person. A _living_ person.”

Lea’s knees went weak and he stumbled towards the couch, “What the hell?” He put his forehead in his hand.

You snorted, “Me too, pal.” If you were seeing Naminé in your dreams, then that could only mean one thing. You were different. Something about you made you different from other humans. But you didn’t have powers, you weren’t any stronger than the average person. The only amazing thing you’d ever done was survive the fall from the clocktower as a kid.

The _other_ was oddly still, like it didn’t want to be noticed. They were the only other thing. You opened your mouth, but it flared up.

_“Don’t tell him! He’s not ready. And…_

~~_“I don’t want to leave you. Not yet.”_ ~~

You closed your mouth.

The three of you waited in silence, and Isa was still sleeping. Slowly, ten minutes came and went, and Lea got up to wake Xion. They returned with a triumphant look on their face.

“She told me where she is. The backdoor isn't far from here, but it’s in the forest. She couldn’t say where it is exactly, but it shouldn’t be hard to find.”

“We’re going to have to be careful, and fast.” Lea said, risking a grin.

“What is it?” Roxas asked.

“It’s a mansion.” Xion said, “It’s old, and cut off by a locked gate. Can’t miss it.”

You sputtered, “The old mansion?! You’re serious?”

Lea stared, “How the hell do you know that?”

“Because I’ve _been there._ Once.” You ran your hand through your hair, “I’m afraid I don’t know where it is, exactly, it’s been a while. I’ll, uh,” you put your chin in between your fingers, “probably won’t know where to go until I see it…” You tried to think back to when you stumbled upon the mansion those short years before, but... “Weird. I’m trying to remember how I got there but,” A hole dug into your gut, useless, “it’s… all a blank.”

He sighed, “Don’t feel bad. Backdoors to the other Realms are like that. It’s frankly amazing you came across it in the first place.” He stretched towards the ceiling, feeling his age, “It’s time to go.” And he made to wake Isa.

You reached for Isa’s backpack, and there was the grumbling moan of a truck outside. Your fingers brushed the strap and an electric shock split up your spine. Everything hit you all over again.

The objective was to survive, and to do that, you had to run away. But what about everything in Twilight Town? Your apartment, your job? What about _Hibiki?_ What were you going to say to her, if you were going to say anything at all? Just up and vanish in the middle of the night with no words of goodbye or apologies?

 _Wait._ “What time is it?”

Roxas lifted his head, then checked his phone, “Ten – Eleven. Why?”

You gulped and pulled out your phone. It was dead, the phone call and lack of internet in the park system must’ve drained it more than you thought it did. Time went far faster than it felt it had.

“Oh, _fuck._ ”

Together, the three demons stiffened and turned their eyes to the door.

“What is _she_ doing here?” Lea hissed.

Someone knocked on the door, or rather, punched at it: _Bang Bang Bang_

“I know you’re in there, fuckhead! Where’s Y/N?!”

He didn’t answer for a moment, and for his trouble, there was another _WHAM_ and a crack crawled up the wood.

“Holy shit, I’m coming! Don’t knock the door down!” Jets of steam poured out of his nose like a dragon, and he returned to human form. He stormed over to the door and threw it open, “What the hell do you want?”

“ _Where’s Y/N?_ ” You heard Hibiki snarl, a threat in every syllable, “I can smell them, they’re here.”

You rushed to the door and appeared behind Lea, “Hibi!”

She gasped when she saw you, then shoved Lea aside and pulled you into a tight hug, “What the _fuck_ were you doing? I called you so many times!”

Your arms were around her before you told them to, “My phone died.” You murmured into her jacket, “I’m sorry.”

She huffed, her breath ruffling your hair, “Alright, it’s time for you to come – “ She picked up her head and went still, staring at something behind you. “What the fuck is this?”

You didn’t need to turn around to know that she saw Isa on the couch, horns and all. Before you could tell yourself to think of something and _fast_ , she lowered her eyes to meet yours.

“How long have you known?”

And, all over again, nothing made any sense, “What?”

She let you go and stepped away, her guard going back up, “How long have you known about them?”

“About…?”

 _“_ About them being _demons,_ Y/N! _”_

Lea nearly spat fire, “Shut the hell up! Get it in here or don’t, but don’t start screaming in the hallway.”

She turned her fierce glare onto him, then deliberately stepped inside, but only far enough for him to close the door. Only then did you hear a low grinding noise emanating from her, like teeth against teeth.

Your hands came to fold in front of your chest, like a shield against… well, everything, “I… didn’t.” You tried to breathe, “Not until tonight.”

Some part of her must’ve realized her error, because suddenly, there was a hint of fear in her eyes. She knew an explanation was needed, and soon. “Oh.”

“Hibiki…” You said slowly, “How long have you known?”

Her hands balled into shaking fists at her side, then she growled and kicked a hole in the wall, “ _Fuck!_ ”

“Hey!” Lea warned, pushing her away from the wall, “Don’t destroy the place, you’re not paying for it!”

She rounded on him with her claws pulled – you did a double take. Claws. Her fingers cracked and snapped, and her nails extended into sharp black talons. Very, very much like a demon’s. “Eat my fucking ass you flaming pile of shit! _This is all your fault!_ ”

“How is it - ?!” Then, he took a deep, steadying breath through his nose, “I’ll be all too happy to take some of the blame for what’s happened tonight.” He said in a steely voice, “But this one’s not on me.” His eyes softened when they turned to you, “Y/N, now’s better than later.”

You nodded hesitantly, and he walked around your back. You felt a small pressure between your shoulder blades, warm and comforting, then he placed himself between Hibiki and the rest of the room.

Xion and Roxas were standing and openly staring at the confrontation, their hackles raised. You bleakly hoped there would be no reason for them to summon their claws tonight.

“Hibiki…” You murmured, but she didn’t look at you. She just kept glaring at the far wall. “I’ve got – got to leave. Tonight.” She visibly flinched. “There was a demon. He attacked us while we were in the forest.” There was a sharp _crack_ along her spine, but you forced yourself to keep going, “Lea said that they’ll come after me, because I was seen with him. If I don’t go with them, they’d…” Your stomach flopped once, twice, three times, and bile swam up your throat, but you forced it back down, “I’m so sorry – “

She wasn’t listening to you anymore. In the blink of an eye, she was on Lea. _“You demon, cock-sucking, pompous, FLAMING SHITLORD!”_ She roared, her voice trembling off itself. You didn’t know if Lea didn’t think about it or if he chose to let her punch him, but her fist met his cheek and echoed in the small room. He toppled to the ground with a shout, and she viciously kicked him in the ribs. ( _“Hibi, stop!”_ ) The sound of bones breaking and crunching went off like fireworks “I knew this would happen!” ( _“Stop it!”_ ) She hauled him up by his slender throat with both hands, giving him no chance to retaliate, “ _I knew I should’ve killed you!”_

Roxas and Xion nearly pounced, but Lea waved them aside and whispered a hoarse, “Don’t.”

You threw yourself to her side, but didn’t dare touch her. A cold drip of water ran between your shoulder blades. Two short, round, and pointed black horns were cracking out of her skull, blood dripping down them and into her hair above her long, pointed ears. You could hear them tearing her scalp. There was movement low under her jacket, and a smooth, almost serpent-like tail slithered out, covered in viscera. Wisps and coils of purple and black smoke circled around her.

“Hibiki, stop it! Please!” You screamed, and she turned her glowing, purple eyes on you. Her pupils were cat-like slits and dark violet.

She snarled, “Stay out of this!”

You grabbed her arm, “It’s not his fault!”

 _“It’s_ **_all_ ** _his fault!”_ Her fingers tightened around his throat, but Lea let her choke him with bared fangs, “If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have to leave! _You wouldn’t be in danger like this!”_

With your heartbeat racing in your chest, you forced yourself under her arms and in between them. With no idea what else to do, you pressed your face against the junction of her shoulder and neck and wrapped your arms around her, “Stop it!” You sobbed, “Tonight I found out all my friends are demons, that other demons are going to hunt me, and if they find me, they’ll torture me. And if they find _them_ , they’ll kill them or worse!” You wheezed sharply and tears rolled down your cheeks and into her jacket, “I can’t – not another thing! Not another thing, please!” Your voice hiccupped, “Please don’t kill him!”

She went still, deathly still. You felt her lower her chin, “Why are you protecting him?” She questioned lowly, her piercing gaze now glancing down at you.

You sniffed miserably, your every other word broken by quick, painful breaths, “Because he’s my friend, and you are, too. I don’t know why. But isn’t that reason enough?” You held her tighter, “I can’t lose him, any of them, and I can’t lose you.”

There was a moment, a long, agonizing moment, and you were afraid you didn’t reach her. Then, slowly, very slowly, her fingers loosened, and she let him drop. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Y/N.” She murmured in your ear, “Only you’d want to be friends with someone who’s part demon.” Her arms went limp, then wrapped you into a secure hug, holding you against her. She buried her face into your shoulder. Her voice was barely above a whisper, “I guess, if papa could love mama, then maybe… maybe they can care, too.”

You hiccupped again, still crying and hyperventilating against her shoulder. “Thank you.”

She only hummed. Her throat vibrated against your cheek.

Lea sighed, rubbing his throat with a grimace, “If you’ve got it all out of your system, we need to go. Y/N’s got some packing to do.”

You heard her growl dangerously, “I’m coming, too.”

You half turned, feeling the tears roll down your face, to see him sneer, “Like fuck you are.”

She bared her teeth, “Just because I’m not going to kill you doesn’t mean I trust you. So, fuck you, I’m coming _, and_ I’m protecting Y/N.”

The two of them glared at each other like a Western stand-off. Everyone was on the balls of their feet, until, finally, Lea relented.

“Fine, but you’ve gotta pull your own weight.”

She scoffed, “I always have, you halfbrained fuckwit.” Her gaze went to Isa, still fast asleep on the couch, “What’s his deal?”

He shot her a scathing glare, then leaned over the couch and gently shook Isa’s shoulder.

Hibiki had been tense the entire time she was there, but you felt the muscles under her jacket move and bunch up, and her smooth, fleshy tail was thrashing from side to side.

“Hibi?” You whispered.

“Too many demons.” She whispered back, “How the hell can you stand it?”

You pulled away just a little to see her face. She hadn’t changed back yet, and you could still hear the occasional pop and snap of bones rearranging and dislocating. Her eyes flicked from demon to demon as if expecting them to attack.

“They’re my friends.” You repeated softly, “Not like they’ve tried to eat me or anything.” You added with a sardonic smile.

She rolled her eyes, “They don’t do that.”

“You don’t know that.” Lea said over his shoulder, but you could tell he was pulling her leg, “I always thought Y/N looked tasty.”

Roxas and Xion rolled their eyes and Hibi barred her fangs. Even you blushed and gave him a playful glare. He shrugged and grinned unapologetically, and went back to waking Isa.

You watched Isa stiffly rouse from his slumber, “I guess the best way to describe it is that he’s sick and needs lots of rest. If he doesn’t, he…” You trailed off, unable to think of how to even begin describing the terrible fit he went into.

Xion approached, backpack on one shoulder, “He’ll lose control of himself.” They said simply, “Thanks for not killing Axel.”

Her mouth puckered in disdain, “Don’t thank me yet.”

Roxas sized her up carefully, “We’d beat you if you tried.”

“I’d like to see that, brat.”

“Don’t you dare tear up this room more than you already have.” Lea warned crossly.

With his help, Isa managed to stand. The blanket fell off his shoulders, and you got to see his wings for the first time. They were carefully folded against his back, but still huge even so. Matte blank and slightly fuzzy, in the shape of a lunar moth with the same markings, blue and dark as a moonless night. His left wing, like Lea had described, was torn and full of holes. Someone had carefully stitched on the missing parts. The fabric looked like black silk in one light, then like velvet the next.

He slowly turned, hanging onto Lea’s arm, and saw Hibiki, “I knew we had a visitor. This is her?” Sluggish clouds of black and purple, fading shades of moonlight dimming in and out between circled around him as he spoke, and he looked human again.

Lea nodded, “Yep, that’s the sour grape.”

“Bite me, you filthy flamingo.”

“Anyway, say hi!”

The look on Isa’s face was one of fond resignation, like a friend who was all too used to his friend’s assholery. “There’s a hole in the wall.”

Everyone pointed at Hibiki, who was not one bit sorry.

* * *

Everyone was at the door, sans you, Lea, and Hibiki, who was hovering over you. You watched Lea shove a wad of paper munny onto the table, “What’s that for?”

“For the hole.” He mumbled, “And rent. Our landlady’s a bitch and I don’t trust her, but I don’t want her telling shit about me and making my life harder down the line.”

The predicament with your own rent hit you over the head, “Oh.” And Hibi muttered something under her breath.

Lea’s car was trashed somewhere in GrayView Park, so that left you with your tiny car. It took some rearranging and lots of dark grumblings, but you managed to fit everyone. The luggage was in the trunk. Hibiki refused to sit in the back with them, so the two of you were in the front seats with you behind the wheel. Her tail was curled around her uncomfortably. The others were in the one, long back seat, which could only fit three on a good day. This left Xion sitting awkwardly in Lea’s lap, and his knees were nearly up to his chest.

“Can you push your seat forward?” He asked.

“No.” Hibiki said flatly, “Consider yourself lucky I don’t push it back all the way.”

You shook your head wearily, “Behave, or it’s going to be a very long night.”

“It already has been a long night.” Roxas sarcastically pointed out.

You pulled out of the parking lot and into the streets. The streets were nearly empty besides the few stragglers here and there. With a shock, you remembered it was only the day after Celestial Mourning. Everyone was with their families or recovering from a night of partying. The thought soured your stomach.

The drive to your apartment was blessedly uneventful, but your nerves had you jumping at every little thing. Tension hung heavy as a storm cloud in the car, putting you even more on edge.

A warm hand touched your shoulder, “Breathe.” Lea said softly, “I’m not going to let anything hurt you.”

Your lungs, so short on air since the stranger with horns and wings in the woods, finally filled.

Hibiki grabbed Lea’s wrist and forced it off your shoulder. “Hands off.” She warned.

“Hibiki…” You scolded, but she only turned her head towards the passenger side window. You met Lea’s eyes through the rearview mirror, “Thanks, Lea.”

He smiled wanly back at you.

Finally, you were at your apartment. You pulled into your usual parking space and turned off the car, but handed Lea the keys. “We’ll be right back.”

He nodded and watched the two of you enter the complex, and left him with his thoughts. How did things go so wrong so fast? That night, he was supposed to watch the sunset with you, see it reflect off the perfect snow like you had said. He was supposed to be with you, alone together, watching the sky catch on fire so that the stars and the moon could shine down on you. He wanted to see you basking in their light, a star yourself, a beautiful constellation that was your heart. It took him now to realize what he wanted to see was you, he wanted it so badly he ached.

Something was different about you, he knew it. To think you, a human, were seeing Naminé in your dreams. It was unprecedented. What made you so special? What made being with you feel so familiar and wonderful? He wanted to know. He needed a name for it, desperately.

He felt a cool hand hold his arm, both circled around Xion’s waist (the memory of slamming breaks and your face nearly hitting the dashboard was still so fresh in his mind). Xion’s head was pressed against his chest, so they could look at him from below.

“Are you okay?” They whispered.

He scoffed, then sighed, “Nothing gets past you.”

They smiled, “I’m perceptive. I thought you had it memorized.”

He was so tall his breath barely ruffled their hair. He tucked them under his chin and carefully rubbed it against her hair. _They’re mine. Mine to protect. Mine to care for. Mine to be proud of. Mine to die for._ It’s a possessive instinct that all demons have. Demons are selfish to their very core, but that isn’t a bad thing, necessarily.

In a short amount of time, Lea learned he couldn’t have everything he wanted. The majority of that time was learning to be okay with that, and be okay with what he does have. To others, it’s not much, but to him, they’re his entire world. Who would’ve guessed he’d have such a strong paternal instinct?

Xion allowed it with grace. They liked it. Liked knowing that they were cherished. Roxas allowed it with less grace, but sometimes couldn’t hide that spark of delight. Like Xion, he liked that he was wanted.

“You’re worried.” They said.

“Of course I’m worried.”

Roxas grinned, “I thought you didn’t have a heart to worry with.”

“What can I say? You guys are a bad influence.”

“Hey!” They both laughed.

Isa and Lea smiled, a moment of serenity. Only those two and the boy they came from could create laughter in such bleak times.

That’s when he remembered. “Isa,” When he was looking at him, Lea said, “Y/N can see Naminé.”

Isa’s eyes went wide, his pupils flashing. “Really?”

“Or so they say.”

Xion leaned back against his chest, “I think they’re telling the truth. I wish I knew when I saw Naminé, I could’ve asked her.”

He tucked them under his chin again and he rumbled low in his throat, “I knew something was up when they reacted like that.” At Isa’s confusion, he clarified, “When I said her name while you were sleeping.”

Isa closed his eyes, wrinkles forming between his brows, “There is something different about them.”

Lea slowly turned his head, “You feel it, too?”

“I don’t know.” He pressed his skeletal hand against his chest, “But I felt something when I first met them. And again, when they touched my leg earlier.” There was that look Lea knew well. He was weighing his next words on his tongue, choosing them carefully. “It felt like you.”

He couldn’t stop his snort, “Me? We haven’t gone that far.” Roxas hit his shoulder, (“Gross.”) “Ow.”

Isa rolled his eyes, “Not like that. I meant, like _you._ Like how you used to be, when you were an angel.” When all was silent, he cleared his throat, “I never noticed while we were in Scala. It’s funny how you only realize something is missing when it’s gone.”

Lea squinted at him in suspicion, “I’m not following.”

He sighed grievously, “Like your _sunlight_. I felt it when I first saw them, and again tonight when they broke me out of the possession.” And he shuddered violently at the word. “It’s not as strong, of course, but it is distinctly yours.”

A long, long period of silence followed. Isa and Lea stared at each other, and Roxas and Xion tennis-balled from one to the other.

Lea broke it, “Do you think I know how to take that?”

“No.” He replied flatly, “I wasn’t even sure of it myself until you told me they can see Naminé. I’d imagine those two things are connected.”

Lea didn’t reply, just turned his eyes back out of the window. That’s when he remembered. The first day he met you, you had felt so familiar. Like he had known you somewhere before, seen your face, heard your voice, but he knew he never met you before that day.

 _You’re just as confusing as ever._ He thought, grinding his canines, _Who the hell are you?_

* * *

Hibiki wound her green scarf around her head before you entered the apartment complex to hide her horns. There wasn’t much she could do about her tail besides keeping it as close to her legs as possible.

“Aren’t you going to change back?” You whispered quietly.

“It’s not that simple.” She rearranged her scarf self-consciously, “I’ll change back when I change back.”

You snuck your hand over and touched her wrist, hoping it would offer some comfort, “At least it’s late. Let’s do this.”

When you entered your apartment, you both hurried to your rooms without a word. Before you did anything, you plugged your phone in to get it charged. You grabbed your largest backpack and methodically started folding your clothes as tightly as you could. When that was done, you grabbed your tin of emergency cash and coins and shoved that in, as well as any other important things you could think of. Then, your phone charger. You checked your phone and it only had a measly 9%. You turned on the battery saver and put it in your pocket.

You carried your backpack into the living room and set it on the couch. There was a stash of reusable bags in a kitchen cabinet and you started putting in dry food and a few canned goods in your largest one, along with a can opener, paper towels, wipes, and a baggie of plastic utensils. Better be safe than sorry.

Hibiki caught up with you in a few minutes. Her horns and tail were gone, which you pointed out in question.

“Yeah,” She rubbed the spot where her horns had been, “They went back while I was washing the blood out.” She stared at the hardwood floor, then approached you. Without warning, she grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you in for a tight hug.

“I sometimes can’t believe you.” She sighed, then squeezed, “I can’t convince you to bail now and come with me, can I?”

You wrapped your arms around her and shook your head against her shoulder, “No. And it’s not just because they’re my friends. There’s something else.”

She pulled away to look you in the eye suspiciously, “What?”

The _other_ hummed softly against your heart, holding you. It squeezed, warning you, but you ignored it. “Something’s not right. With me. If I go with them, I might figure it out. And,” you lowered your head, “I can’t desert them. Though, I’m worried I’ll just slow them down.”

She clicked her tongue but said nothing more. Without another word, she grabbed a bag from the cabinet and went to the bathroom to grab shampoo and bodywash, and any other essential toiletries.

“What are we going to do about the apartment?” You asked aloud when she returned, “And our jobs?”

She paused thoughtfully, “Your phone’s dead, right? I’ll call our bosses in the morning. I’ll make something up, like we got in an accident or something.”

You sighed through your nose, “I’ll pay this month’s rent early. Let me write a check.”

She opened her phone, “I’ll send you my share.”

“And you know the log-in for the electric, right?”

“Yeah.”

You took your checkbook out of your bag and hurriedly scrawled out the details. _Look at us. Adulting even when our lives are in danger,_ You thought bitterly.

“Hey, take a second and clean out the fridge? I’ll get the trash from the other rooms. We’ll drop the garbage on our way out.”

You quickly grabbed the trash from your bedrooms and the bathroom, then dropped it in the garbage bag. By the time you and Hibiki were done, it was bulging.

With your backpacks on and your food slung over Hibiki’s shoulder and the toiletries over yours, you all but ran towards your landlord’s office, dropped your check in the mailbox, then outside to the dumpster. Lea must’ve seen you coming and reached over to unlock the trunk for you. You both made room for your stuff, closed it, then hopped in.

You buckled in, “Gas. Then we’ll hit the road.” 

* * *

The clock on the dash ticked by, it felt like hours had become minutes as you drove the endless winding roads of GrayView Park. You felt like you knew these roads like the back of your hand, but the further you drove, the less familiar they became in the dark of night, illuminated only by your yellow headlights.

There were many apologies on your end in that first two hours, but the others shushed you gently, and not so gently. You finally kept your apologies to yourself, slowly gaining confidence that this wasn’t your fault, but feeling guilty all the same.

“You need to be invited in order to find the backdoors to the Realms.” Isa said weakly, “Though it is possible without it. Castle Oblivion was abandoned by its Master for many decades until a short while ago, which is how we were able to find it. The defenses may still be weak.”

“And now that he’s back?” You asked.

He was silent for a minute, “It’s possible Naminé can open the doors for us when we arrive, but she can’t invite us. We’re on our own.”

“DiZ won’t like it when we walk in unannounced.” Lea deadpanned, “I don’t think he’s too happy with us demons for trashing his Castle while he was away.”

“That’s your own fault.” Hibiki shot.

He shrugged, “Sure is.”

That was an hour ago, making it nearly two in the morning, and you were getting exhausted. Your eyes drooped and closed longer and longer, your grip on the wheel was getting weak, your fingers were trembling.

“Okay.” Hibiki said, taking hold of the wheel before you could veer right off the road. “That’s enough. Out of the driver’s seat.”

You didn’t even bother to pull over and slowly braked to a stop. You sleepily got out and stumbled towards the passenger’s seat and buckled in. Hibiki took your spot and kept driving. You tried to stay awake, if only to offer directions, but you were ordered to sleep, and you couldn’t deny them if you tried. Your eyes closed heavily and you dropped off the face of the Earth into darkness.

There was a half-hour of silence while you slept, but Lea broke it in two. “So, who popped you out?”

Hibiki’s eyes flashed, “The hell do you mean?”

“Which one of us made you?” He asked again, ignoring Isa’s warning glance, “I know it sure as hell wasn’t me.”

He thought she’d be angry at his prodding, but as the quiet dragged on, he saw only sorrow in the eyes in the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know.” She finally admitted, “My dad disappeared a long time ago. Erased all my memories of him when he did, but I know he wasn’t a full-blooded demon.”

Lea was suddenly uncomfortable, especially when Xion elbowed him in the side for being an ass. He put his cheek on his fist and stared out of the frosty window. “I… can narrow the demons down to two for you.”

She glanced at him out of the mirror in thinly veiled surprise, “You can?”

“Yeah. In Xehanort’s journal, he wrote that he needed a back-up plan, in case one of us should die, disappear, or otherwise.” And he waved at the four of them in the backseat. “Even if they’re just a smidge part demon, they can still be possessed. And you can tell who’s part demon by the hair.” He pointed at her bangs.

“Get to the point.”

“Xehanort ordered his two favorites to make a baby. Your great-something grandpa is either Xemnas or Ansem.”

She drove on and on, thinking quietly, “If they think I’m gonna let them possess me, they’re in for a nasty surprise. I’ll gouge their fucking eyes out before I let that happen.” The sentence ended in a threatening snarl.

* * *

You woke up, disoriented and stiff. After rubbing your eyes, you saw that you had slept for about two and a half hours and the tank was less than a quarter full. Out of the windows, trees stood sentry in sturdy lines. Roxas, Xion, and Isa were all asleep, and Lea didn’t seem far behind. Hibiki was nodding off, too.

You stretched and yawned, “I’m up.” She mumbled, trying to keep her heavy eyes open. “Time to switch.”

She let the car crawl to a stop and you switched seats.

“How is this forest so damn big?” She grumbled and nearly missed the belt buckle.

You began to drive, “I dunno. I didn’t think it was.” After coming to a fork, you realized you had no idea where you were. You sat there, foot on the brake, then decided to take the right, “I don’t recognize this part of the woods.”

She groaned in her throat, “Great… just _fuckin’_ great…” And… she was dead asleep.

You glanced at Lea through the mirror, “You should get some sleep, too.”

His eyes fluttered, thick eyelashes against his cheekbones, “Can’t. Gotta stay awake.”

“Lea, it’ll be fine. Rest awhile.”

“Can’t.” He said again, more firmly than the first, “I won’t let them hurt you.”

Your heart thumped warmly, “I know you won’t, but you won’t be able to fight if you’re too tired to stand. Please rest.”

He opened his eyes, half-lidded, and watched you, “You promise you’ll shout if something happens.”

“I cross my heart. Now, sleep.” When his eyes were still open, you said, “That’s an order.”

His eyes went wide, just a little, and he chuckled, “Okay, okay. You’re the only one who can order me around. I hope you know that.” He took a deep breath and leaned against the seat. He pulled Xion against his chest and held them securely. It took a while before his breathing evened out, but he did eventually fall asleep.

You smiled, watching the trees go by, “Sleep well.”

Gratitude had snuck in and filled you to the brim. He could’ve left you for dead several times over that night. Many would say he had gone against his nature for you, but you weren’t so sure about that. You thought, maybe it was just in Lea’s nature to protect those he cared about. Maybe he’d simply forgotten and was relearning who he was, before everything that happened.

His past made something in you coil up, groan, and die a little. He’d been through so much, more than a few hours could cover to be sure. And he threw it all away, twice. Once out of heartbreak, the second out of love.

 _He doesn’t have a heart._ Your brain reminded you, _He can’t feel like you can._

 _But what else can you call it?_ A little voice shot back, _Even if it’s only a little, there’s something there. If he loves anything in this world and any other, it's Roxas and Xion._

_… And you, too?_

You swallowed the thought before it could stick around. _No, not me, too._

The _other_ whirred back to life and thumped you gently, a soft scolding.

_“Yes, you too. Yes, over and over and over again.”_

Impishly and conspiringly:

_“Even if he doesn’t know it yet.”_

The _other_ felt stronger than it did a few hours ago. You could almost hear something, sometimes, a voice far far far away. It sounded so familiar, felt like sunlight on your bare skin. You knew that voice, but you weren’t sure where.

With everyone asleep, you were comfortable enough to whisper, “Who are you, really?”

The _other_ hummed and purred.

_“You know who I am._

_“I’ve been with you for years now._

_“You met me a few months ago.”_

It chuckled.

_“Like a riddle, huh? Who am I?”_

You knew it was talking, and the intent behind those words were felt, but you still couldn’t understand _~~him~~ _ it.

It felt like it wanted to say something else, but it bloomed bashfully and retreated. A warm pressure fell on your knee and you swore you could feel something breathe against your cheek. As soon as it was there, it was gone, and the _other_ was quiet again.

The more you drove, the more time kept doing weird things. You’d think you were driving for about ten minutes, only to see the clock jump half an hour, or you’d think an hour had to have gone by, but it was only fourteen minutes. And your gas was doing crazy things, too; jumping up to half, then down to nearly empty, then back up to a quarter.

The clock said it was nearing six-twelve in the morning; dawn would be arriving in another hour. You’d been driving all night, and though you could understand why you hadn’t found the mansion yet, you hadn’t even circled back to the entrance.

 _The forest isn’t this big._ Sweat rolled down your back despite the heaters only able to give tepid air. _The car should’ve run out of gas two hours ago, at least._

Goosebumps rolled up your arms and the hair stood on end. The memories of the mansion were perfect, like a still-life painting. The unsettling aura, the muted Spring colors, the lack of sound; of life. But you couldn’t for the life of you remember how you ended up there and how you got back. It didn’t bother you before, most likely because you never gave it any thought after the fact, but now. Now there was a blank in your memory _hours_ long. You went for a drive sometime after dawn and didn’t come home until after dark. A whole day, gone.

Then, the image of Naminé appeared in your mind. Smiling one second, then eyes wide with fear the next. You couldn’t remember if this was part of a dream you had of her or not. She was saying something, but you couldn’t hear her. Your focus intensified on her, more and more, until you were barely aware of the road.

There was a feeling of hitting something soft, like a membrane. It was there and gone, so brief you thought you imagined it, but then the _weird_ hit you, and your car sputtered to a sudden halt.

The lights on the dash flickered and died one by one. You hastily threw it in park before you couldn’t, just in time for the headlights to go out and plunge you into darkness. The engine croaked one last time, coughed, then fell silent. _“Fuck!”_ You hit the steering wheel, “You piece of horse shit!”

The others woke up immediately. Hibiki and Lea were immediately on the defensive.

“What happened?” He asked, leaning around Xion.

“The car died.” You screamed low in your throat and hit the wheel again, but then Lea’s hand was on your shoulder. He was staring out of the front window, eyes travelling around the world outside. “What is it?”

“I think we’re here.” He whispered and opened the door, “Stay here.” He gently moved Xion off his lap and slunk out of the car.

You all watched him step onto the asphalt – only to realize you were at a dead-end. The only things around you were trees and snow. It had been a still night, but it felt… too still. The moon and starlight above you were suddenly faint. Again, that _weird_ feeling was needling you. It told you you were trespassing, that you were somewhere you absolutely should not be, and that was _very_ familiar.

Lea disappeared into the dark lines that were the frozen trees. Everyone waited with bated breath until his silhouette returned shortly after. He waved and you got out of the car and popped the trunk, keys in hand. It was frigid and the air was stale. Puffs of white you could barely see escaped you with every breath.

“We’re definitely here.” You said, “But where is it? The mansion?”

He joined you at the trunk, handing off bags, “It’s not gonna be that easy. Now, we walk.”

Hibiki shouldered her backpack and the grocery bag, which was the heaviest. She glanced at you from the side, “How far?”

“Do I look like I know?”

“You always look like an idiot. I thought I’d give you the benefit of the doubt.”

He rolled his eyes into the back of his head and slipped on his and Isa’s backpacks, “Shut up.”

You carried your stuff and the toiletries, already well aware that any attempt to keep them from bickering would only bounce off their thick skulls.

Isa was still weak on his feet, a paper man, trembling and formless. Xion offered their arm and he held onto their shoulder. They walked steadily, but slowly, patiently letting him put all his flimsy weight on their shoulder.

Besides you, he was the most warmly bundled. His outfit consisted of rainboots and two layers of warm socks, sweatpants and leggings, a wifebeater, followed by a thin long-sleeve, a sweater, then his track jacket. On his head was a knitted hat and a ratty scarf, and he wore oven mitts over his gloves. He was still shivering.

Lea was leading the pack, but with Isa, you weren’t making good time. No one was callous enough to say it. Not even Hibiki, who was eyeing him somewhat nervously.

“What the hell are you sick with?” She finally asked when her curiosity got the best of her.

Xion threw a glare at her, but Isa kept on walking. You thought he was ignoring her before he explained, “Possession.”

If it still wasn’t so dark out, you would’ve seen her eyes widen. “The _fuck?”_

“I’m sick because I’m fighting it.” His patient voice split through the eerie silence as if he had screamed, “If I were to roll over and let it happen, believe me, I wouldn’t be like this.”

She made a face that you could barely make out in the dull moonlight, “And if you _do_ stop fighting it?”

His whole body shuddered under his layers, “You either kill me or run.”

The bitter cold seeped into you slowly, stinging your cheeks and threatening to get into your boots. The weight of your bags and the long night dragged on you, but you kept trudging forward. It felt like you’d been walking for hours, but the sky above you barely changed.

You thought it was your imagination, but Hibiki looked up at the sprawling expanse of stars and said, “How’s it not dawn, yet?”

Both Roxas and Xion cocked their heads, like listening dogs.

“I can sense it.” Xion muttered, “It’s been below the horizon… it’s felt like an hour.”

Roxas sighed in frustration and relief, “I thought I was going crazy.”

Remembering the time _weird_ in the car, you asked someone to check their phone, as yours was a step from death's door.

Roxas did, and you could see his eyebrows shoot up in the phone’s harsh, muted light, “It’s only six-thirty?”

“Figured as much.” You got a better hold of the bag on your shoulder, “Time was acting _weird_ those few hours you guys were asleep. Hardly moving or skipping ahead a ton.”

Isa closed his eyes and Lea slapped his forehead. “Duh. Must be the Realm’s defenses.”

“The Ancient’s place heavy security on their backdoors so humans won’t happen upon them.” Isa said. “You have to be very persistent to find it.”

Xion lowered their head, then lifted it again, “Then how’d you find Castle Oblivion before?”

Lea waved his hand, “There’s the backdoor, which manifests here on Earth, and then there’s the front door. They’re often somewhere in another Realm, and the Master of it can move it at will. Since there’s such a small chance that any of us would just come across it, it’s not as guarded, usually. DiZ left the front door in the Dark World before up and disappearing. With him gone, it was easy pickings.”

If only to whittle away the time, you asked, “What’s an Ancient?”

He was quiet for a moment, “They’re beings that were here before angels. There’s three of them, each a Master of their own Realm. They’re the embodiment of an element. The Realm we’re going to is Castle Oblivion, the element of the In-Between; neither Light or Dark. DiZ is its Master. And, like the other two, he is very dangerous if angered.” He tilted his chin over his shoulder, “So play nice.”

Hibiki made a noise and clicked her tongue, _“Pfft._ Should’ve thought about that before breaking and entering.”

He shrugged listlessly, “Yup. My bad.”

And, just like that, the barest hint of steely gray light crept up behind the web of black trees. Clouds that weren’t there before had also slunk onto the sky.

Roxas and Xion visibly flinched and openly stared, stopping in their tracks.

“You’ve got to be fucking with me.” Roxas muttered.

“That was fast.” Xion agreed.

“Toldja.” You said nonchalantly and poked at their backs, “C’mon, I’m freezing. The faster we find this place, the better.”

Lea was about to hum when he gasped. The others followed suit, with Hibiki being last.

“No way.” He whispered, _“No fucking way!”_ And in a flash of smoke and fire, he transformed, “They’re here!”

“What?!” You gasped.

Roxas and Xion transformed, too, and sharp _cracks_ and _crunches_ echoed off the desolate trees. Hibiki grabbed your arm with a snarl.

“There’s more of you?!”

“This must’ve been what they were looking for. Marluxia said – “ He cursed again and threw Isa over his shoulder, “Everybody, run!”

The world tipped and you were suddenly in Hibiki’s arms. Torn skin and blood matted her hair where her short horns had forced their way out and her claws dug into your shoulders and thighs.

With Lea in the lead, everyone took off at a speed no human could hope to accomplish. You grabbed Hibiki’s shoulders and held on tight as best you could, the bag on your arm hit her several times in the wind.

You could feel your blood pumping through your veins as your adrenaline surged. The other demons hadn’t even appeared and you were already in a cold panic. Yes, there were more of you now, but there was also you and Isa. Dead weight on their heavy backs.

Part of you wanted to tell them to leave you behind and make a break for it, the other part of you wanted nothing more but to be home, safe and sound under your blankets. The _other_ was pulsing beside your heart, like a second heartbeat. Frantic and afraid, and stoked that fire that screamed at you to _survive_.

A blur of something glowing purple hit the ground in between Lea and the rest of you and exploded in a cacophony of neon light. You pushed your face into Hibiki’s jacket, but the explosion burned the back of your eyelids. She screeched to a halt, the snow crunching under foot.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

You turned your head to the voice and tried to pick them out from the dim and the flash still burning your eyeballs.

There were flashes of light and the whoosh of roaring flames. When your eyes focused, you finally could see the weapons that you had only heard of in stories and Lea’s explanation.

You knew angels carried holy weapons, the embodiment of Light, meant to protect and unlock truth. The fact that they were actually large keys hit you over the head like a rock when you saw them for the first time. When you thought about it, were you the first human to ever see them?

They were true to Lea’s descriptions, and you didn’t know if you were hearing Lea’s words echo, or if you actually heard a whisper, or a promise:

_I am Aubade_

_I am Oblivion_

_We will protect what is ours_

_Prepare to taste my steel_ _Prepare to meet your end_

 _“Xigbar.”_ Lea hissed.

“The one and only.” You followed his gaze and finally saw the demon standing on a thin tree branch with lax poise. A pair of sharp horns hugged his scalp, then curled up. His wings were scaly and black, sharp bone poked out through the skin at every joint. His amber eyes glowed in the nearing dawn, “Long time no see. Thanks for leading us here, by the way. Very kind of you.”

Isa picked up his head and tried to look at him over Lea’s shoulder, “How’d you follow us undetected?”

He shrugged calmly, “I control space, or don’t you remember? Easy to bend it just enough to stay at the very edge of your senses.”

You saw Lea nod sharply at the twins, and beams of light blinded you and honed in on the demon, Xigbar.

Lea’s voice was suddenly at your shoulder, “Take Y/N and run!”

Hibiki didn’t answer, but cold wind cut your face. You gasped and buried into her coat again, and your uselessness sunk into your very marrow. Dead weight in arms more capable than your own. How you wanted to be able to help. How you wished you were stronger.

The sound of static and pulsating air, and Hibiki was forced to a halt once again.

A deep voice said, “Who might you be?”

The pressure of ice cubes in between your shoulders intensified, and you found you couldn’t turn your head to the owner of the voice. Your entire body froze with terror.

The voice came closer, “To think I’d find one here. How coincidences never cease to amaze – “

Hibiki dropped you onto the snow and vaulted over you. The other demon grunted in surprise and pain. Your head spun dizzyingly, but you could make out Hibiki headbutting the large demon under the ribs, her horns puncturing his coat.

“Get outta here, Y/N!” She roared, then backed off just enough to throw a nasty punch into the silver-haired demon's cheek.

You dropped your bag, tripped over yourself to stand, and took off into the woods while they were preoccupied. You wanted to argue, to ask them to promise to get out of there safe, but it would only waste what precious little time they gave you.

You had to find the Castle. You had to find the Castle. But what in the Castle could help? Could Naminé fight?

 _The Ancient._ Your mind threw out, _The Ancient – DiZ – he’s powerful. He can help. Please, for the love of everything, please, he needs to help!_

Dawn was sluggishly creeping up, barely giving any light. You hit trees with your shoulders several times, and nearly ran straight into a few. Your feet stumbled in the snow and exhaustion and the chill had long made its way into your joints, but you had to keep running. You couldn’t stop.

Your backpack was beginning to become too much, and with nothing left to lose, you let it fall off your shoulders and crash into the snow.

_You have to be very persistent to find it._

_Naminé._ Your mind called out, picturing her face, _Naminé!_ You pictured the mansion, _I need to find it!_ You brought up every little detail you could remember. The rust on the padlock, the crumbling, vine covered pillars. The bricks and the curtains and the door and the stained glass and the decal and even the grass. _Get me there!_

Something shifted, and you were running in slow motion. Your limbs were moving, your head was clear, but nothing felt real. It was like you were running in place, moving through a swamp. Unable to do anything but watch yourself move at less than half speed, feeling the momentum on your flesh but hardly seeing the effect.

The sky grew light, from steel to pink to gold, as you ran. How long had you been running? The sky said about forty minutes but your mind said days, weeks, months, _years._ You were losing your mind, it was melting in your skull and oozing out of your eye sockets, ears and nose. You could feel it dripping down your neck and cheeks and into your panting mouth. It was thick and slimy and tasted of rancid meat.

You wanted to scream, you needed it, to release the horror and the madness that was swallowing you whole. But your skin had stretched over your mouth and over your eyes and your ears. You were blind and deaf and mute. A mummy of torn skin and dripping blood and bulging muscle.

 _You’re trespassing and you will die here. You’re trespassing and it will kill you. You’re trespassing and I will twist your bones out through your throat and force your flesh outside your skin. You will screech like a pig and croak your final breath like the animal you are and pretend not to be. This is where you die. This is where you die._ **_This is where you die._ **

And it was over. The world spun around you and your knees hit the snow. You thought you had finally died and faced the trials of hell and the great something that may or may not be out there took pity on you and released you into death’s wilderness.

You had eyes. You had ears. You had a mouth. Your brain wasn’t smeared across your face and down your jacket. The snow was cold under you and you could feel winter’s bite in your fingers and on your stinging face. Tears froze on your cheeks and bile and drool rolled down your lips. Vomit raced up your throat and you had no choice but to puke onto the pristine snow.

The _other_ thrummed like an engine and hauled your spirit back to Earth and refused to let go. It hummed through your veins, warming you from the inside. Fingers carded through your hair, pulling it away from your face with gentle, trembling panic.

_“I’m here. You’re alive. I’m here with you, and I’m not letting go.”_

You choked on a sob and nearly collapsed in the steaming, foul puddle. Instead, you tipped sideways and fell onto the snow, desperately pulling in air. The hands returned, petting your hair and rubbing your back.

 _“That was scary – understatement. That was_ terrifying.

_“But you’re here, you’re alive. I’m here with you and you’re not alone._

_“Breathe, okay? Breathe, just breathe. You’re okay.”_

It whispered against your forehead, soothing you with all its strength.

_“Shh, it’s gonna be okay. Not letting you go of you._

_“Not ever.”_

The memories began slipping away, like scraps of paper blown away in the wind. You forgot why you were nauseous, you forgot the fear, you forgot why you were laying on your side on the cold snow.

Then, you remembered why you had been running. You got to your feet with a gasp and found yourself at the edge of a clearing, still within the trees. Something about it was achingly familiar, about the slants of gray-gold light splitting between the bald branches.

The atmosphere was heavy in your lungs, more water than air, but you could still breathe. The _weird_ was intense; the stillness, the silence, the muted colors. This was not a living land.

You stepped out of the trees only to walk into a funnel of them, curling over you and nearly blotting out the sky. Strange, it was a circular clearing before, wasn’t it? But you didn’t stop, you didn’t have time. Something told you too much time had passed already.

You hadn’t the strength to run, but you forced your leaden legs to jog.The funnel lengthened, squeezed, and the end taunted you by getting farther and farther away. But you didn’t stop, you couldn’t stop. Your friends were in trouble and you had to find help.

Your breath hurt your burning lungs, and you announced for the _weird_ to hear, “I’m not stopping!” Your voice split the haunting silence, “I’m going to Castle Oblivion, and you can’t stop me! I’m a friend of Naminé’s! I need to save my friends! _And you won’t stop me!”_

The world went impossibly still, one foot held perfectly above the ground. It buffered, and then you were at the mouth of the tunnel with no memory of how you got there from where you were.

Your feet carried you out and into the clearing you had seen before. On the other end was a locked gate, and beyond it stood the old mansion. For a second, just a second, you were seventeen again, nearly eighteen, standing there. The fear creeping up on you from your feet up as the mansion seemed to grow, leaning towards you to tower over you. That time, you made a hasty retreat, now, you didn’t have that option.

You ran to the gate and yanked on the bars, “Hey!” You screamed, “Let me in! Naminé, it’s me! HELP!” You pushed and pulled them again, and the echo of a lock clicking hit your ears like a waterfall. A wave of cool air hit your face. You barely pulled your arms away in time for the heavy lock to fall away, held up by the thick chains.

“Thank you.” You breathed and threw the gate open. You ran for the doors and grabbed the brass handle and pulled with all your strength. The door, oak too many inches thick, moved in increments. “C’mon, you stupid fucking thing! _Open!”_

It must’ve hit a smooth spot on the stone porch, because it slid a few inches. There was just barely enough room for you to get through and you squeezed in. You tripped on the creaking hardwood and nearly fell, but steadied at the last second.

Panting, you looked up and took in the interior. The air smelled of earth and must. Dust particles, kicked up by your entrance, hit the silver light from the back windows. There was broken furniture and holes in the floor, cobwebs hung from the rafters and in the corners. A grand staircase stood directly in front of you, and on the staircase was someone you knew.

“Naminé?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw dang here we go.  
> As always, thank you for reading!


	10. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight takes place in a Realm outside time and space. Can you get help in time? And if not, what is the cost of losing?
> 
> TW: Body horror and Gore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you honeyishtar for beta-ing!

“Get outta here, Y/N!” Hibiki roared, then backed off just enough to throw a nasty punch to the silver haired demon’s cheek. It was like hitting a cushioned brick wall, and it was only because she had demon blood in her that the flesh gave in at all.

The air tasted of ozone, a violent red glow reflected off the snow. A beam of pure heat came for her chest and she only barely managed to dodge it. She hopped back, the smell of burnt hair hit her nose and she watched crisped and burnt hair, once silver, crumble into ash in the cold air. 

She couldn’t summon weapons like they could, but she balled her fists and promised to make them hurt. Something was stirring in her blood, a pull, a _call,_ flowing towards him.

He rose to his full height. His horns protruded from his temples, thick at the base then spearing into several thin branches, all twisted up in each other, bending off like a stag’s. His wings were spindly and sharp, with several joints to allow them to fold neatly against his back. The membrane between them was thin, but strong. Besides the crease set in his brow and the slight downturn of his lips, he was unfazed. In the palm of his hand was a beam of hot light, like a bar of red neon.

“Your strength is admirable, but you are no match for me.”

Hibkii’s feet shifted in the snow, grinding down into it for support, “We’ll just see about that, now won’t we!”

The ground vibrated with the strength of her vault; snow kicked up in clumps where she once stood just a second before. With a roar that shook the trees, she pulled her leg back, then swung it up and kneed him right in the crotch.

He grunted again, more in pain than shock that time, and doubled over. Taking the opening for all it was worth, she gave him a devastating uppercut that would’ve properly killed an ordinary human. He stumbled back and held his chin, now all but glaring at her.

“I am Xemnas.” He swung the hand holding his chin out to his side, summoning a blade of energy in his palm, “As your creator, I order you to stand down.”

Her blood groaned, reversed flow, and tried to bring her down to her knees. It took her by surprise and she stumbled. A shock of outrage and fear hit her, her own blood was rebelling against her. It felt gross; _wrong,_ like her blood wasn’t hers at all. Like she had only been borrowing it, and it was returning to its rightful owner.

Hibiki gasped, snarled like a rabid dog, and told her blood to _back down._ It slowed its descent, froze, then returned to its normal flow. Xemnas’s grip loosened, his fingers pried off with her teeth and nails. You can be as strong as you like, but no one can beat Hibiki’s iron will.

She wiped the drool off her lips, “You’ve got no damn business giving me _any_ orders, you rotting shitstain.” And she flew at him once more.

“I am the reason for your very existence.” He said, easily deflecting her fist with his weapon, “You owe me everything you are and everything you will ever be.”

“I don’t owe you shit ‘cept for a ruined heart!” She pulled her hand back before it could burn and swiveled around him. She kicked him in the small of the back.

He stumbled half a step, his wings flapped once to steady him, then spun and began his assault. His energy beams fizzed through the air in devastating arcs, missing her by mere centimeters as she was forced to back away. “If you do not submit, I will be forced to cut you down. There will be nothing of you left. A terrible waste.”

She barked a humorless laugh, “If you think I’m gonna let you, you’ve got another thing coming.” Her tail wrapped around his ankle and yanked his weight out from underneath him. 

He didn’t go down all the way, but it was enough for her to jump up high and knee him right in the cheek and eye. He made no sound when he stumbled back. His weapons popped like static.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve for what you’ve done, grandpa. And I’m gonna make you _pay for it.”_ Her claws twisted into his hair and her fist was one second short of flying before a searing heat hit her side. She cried out and twisted away. When she put her palm to her wound, she found the weapon ate right through her clothes and into her flesh. There was an indent in her waist now, a perfect imprint of his weapon. Luckily it cauterized on impact, but it still hurt like a bitch.

Xemnas looked down on her with piercing amber eyes. “You are a fool, and a liability. I regret having made you.”

She spat onto the snow, “Then kill me, you little bitchpussy. Guarantee I’ll knock your fucking teeth out, first!” 

Several hundred yards away, another battle was brewing. 

Lea helped Isa lean on a tree and returned to Roxas and Xion, chakrams in hand. 

Xigbar appeared on another tree branch before their beams of light could hit him. “Awww. So sweet to see a dad help his kids. What’s it been like playing house?” Lea’s chakrams would’ve knocked his arms out of their sockets if he hadn’t vanished again. 

His voice cut through the unsettling silence, “Not in the mood for small talk, huh? Fine, have it your way.”

Several of his glowing bullets rained down on their heads, but they expertly blocked them. However, the shower kept coming, a hailstorm of purple.

What they didn’t hear or see was Xigbar casually walking around them, stalking towards Isa. Isa tried to get away, but he could barely hold his own weight. His clumsy feet tripped on hidden roots under the snow and he fell with a hoarse shout. 

Xigbar clicked his tongue sympathetically, “Oh dear, look at you.”

“Get away from me!” Isa growled, his eyes glowing harshly.

He only smiled, “That’s it. Get angry. Feed that rage, we all know it's what gives you strength.”

Realizing what was happening, Isa gasped and shut his eyes. He took a steadying breath, counted to ten, but Xigbar groaned and hoisted him up by his collar with one hand. Isa coughed and fruitlessly scratched at it with his claws.

“You’re not exactly in top form, but you’ll even out the field nicely.” Xigbar grinned viciously while reaching towards Isa’s chest with his free hand.

“No!” Isa gasped, redoubling his efforts, but all his weak thrashing and scratching did nothing, “No, stop! _Get away from me!”_

“It’s too bad.” His hand pulsed with wisps of Darkness. With his claws extended, he pushed his fingers into Isa’s chest. Isa’s flesh squelched at the intrusion, but Xigbar’s hand went through his clothes and ribs like a knife through warm butter. Isa wailed in agony. “If you hadn’t fought it, we wouldn’t have to do this part again.” His entire hand disappeared; he was up to his wrist in Isa’s chest, “I know it _really_ hurts.”

Isa felt Xigbar’s old leather glove scrape against something in his breast. The leather and the calloused pads of his fingers scratched the beating heart that wasn’t his own, and pain roared in his chest. It throbbed and scorched and bled down into his gut and up into his arms and down his legs and up his neck and into his head. 

Xigbar _squeezed._

Sharp pain rushed into his lungs. Some small part of Isa’s receding mind knew that it was his one last gasp of winter air, and he savored the sensation. His one last willful act, the last thing he’ll ever feel as himself. He, himself, will die in a few short moments, maybe. He didn’t know what came next. All he knew was that something had locked. He could still see Xigbar’s infuriating smirk, he could still feel his weight dangle from his strong grip, but when he tried to move, he couldn’t. He was locked in the cage of his own body and mind. 

“Y’know, it didn’t have to be this way.” Xigbar mused, watching the amber cloud and swallow Isa’s bloodshot eyes, “If you had gone along for the ride, you’d still be in control of your body. But all your strength’s gone, wasted away by that needless struggling.” He leaned forward, as if sharing a little secret, “And because of that, nothing’s stopping Xehanort’s will from taking over.”

Isa was forced to feel himself be devoured from the inside out. A ravenous cold pumped from the heart and into his veins. It surged through his body, and he knew it was too much too soon. A throaty rasp tore through his throat and his whole body began shuddering violently. Was his body rebelling against the intrusion? Or was it surrendering? 

The pain was intense. He knew he was shifting into his Corrupted Form, but it had never felt like this. His muscles were stretching and tearing, his bones were rearranging, cracking off like gunshots. His voice, his words, his everything was fading to black. And, for the first time, he knew what came next. 

He wanted to scream at them to run away. He wanted to tell them to put him out of his misery. It would be a mercy at this point. He wanted to take it all back. Everything. All the pain he had caused. What he wouldn’t give for a moment in time. A moment of all of you sitting in the living room, laughing about something stupid. A moment with his heart once more. A moment with his family. Just a moment. 

He wanted to say that he was sorry.

“Woah-ho.” Xigbar grinned, letting go of Isa’s furry throat, “What a pleasant surprise.”

Foam and drool dribbled down his elongating snout. Blue-gray fur covered his skin in thin, brittle patches. Strength he had nearly forgotten rolled into his muscles and blinded his mind as he grew to a terrifying size, ripping his clothes to shreds in the process. His head split in two, twin wolf heads with snarling maws. Tongues, black as death, lolled out of them, and open sores split along the lips and onto his cheeks. There was only one eye and one ear per head, like they should be pushed back together any second. Black thread spun around the flesh above his massive paws and pulled tight. They immediately cut through the skin and tar-like blood oozed into his fur, staining it like ink. His scar grew, stretched across the neck that connected the two heads. A single, swollen eyes opened in that expanse of leathery skin, staring emptily into space. He was now more wolf than demon, emaciated and gaunt, a husk. He stunk of rancid meat and spoiled blood.

There was a scream; a plea; a sob.

Xigbar grinned dispassionately, “Sick ‘em, boy.”

Lea barely had enough time to shove Roxas and Xion away before Isa’s Corrupted Form was on them. In a flash of chilling moonlight, Isa summoned his claymore in one of his maws and brought it down on his head. 

There was a clash of metal against metal. Lea’s chakrams grew in his darkening hands. He felt his spine lengthen, pulling his muscles and tendons along with him. His skin glossed over as smooth, dark red snake scales sprouted from them, so smooth you could barely distinguish it from skin. His face elongated into a muzzle, something similar to a fox but not quite, and a mane of wild, scorching fire replaced his hair and down his long, hunched neck. The tattoos under his eyes bled up and down, until they covered his sharp eyes like a harlequin’s makeup. Two pointed ears sprouted under his horns and snapped back against his scalp in a mix of fear and anger before they flicked back up and swiveled, listening for Xigbar. 

His body was lean and flexible. He still had his strong shoulders, but his thin waist went on and on until it came to his legs. They were that of a lion’s, but the two tails whipping behind him was that of a snake’s. Two new arms sprouted underneath the old ones, albeit a little closer to his back so there was room. They were longer, and hard muscle rippled under the smooth scales. His chakrams, now the right size for his new form, fit just right in his large hands and long, clawed fingers.

Under his chin, a new mouth opened, full of onyx black teeth, a myriad of snake and lion fangs, without a tongue. Should you ever look into the maw head-on, you would see its endlessness and be sucked into it. A void, a cavern of stalagmites and stalactites, water hissing down the hideous points, dark and obscene. Going down, and down, and down until you find yourself in its ravenous pit of a stomach and drown. 

The new mouth roared with abandon. Drool dripped down the teeth and sizzled when it hit the flames. 

“Isa!” He screamed, the growl under his voice made the branches tremble, startled by the power behind his attack, “Snap out of it! _Come on!”_

Instead of an answer, Isa’s free mouth tried to snap a chakram out of his hand. Without any other choice, Lea shoved him away with his other two arms. It was hard enough to make Isa mow down a few trees. He heard Roxas and Xion make to join him, but that infuriating voice slipped between them.

“Ah ah ah.” Xigbar wagged his finger, “I think these two need to have a good argument and clear the air.”

Roxas and Xion yelled and there was pop, and Xigbar’s voice was somewhere else. They made to ignore him and join Lea, but then a force split the ground between them, dividing the party. They bounced off the wall. They could only see it by the faint purple glow it gave, and both growled.

“Guess I’m on babysitting duty.” Xigbar rested one of his guns on his shoulder, “Don’t worry, kids. I’m sure we can think of something to do.”

“Yeah, I’m sure we can!” Roxas slashed at the ground and waves of light swept towards Xigbar, and he nearly lost his footing before vanishing and appearing behind them.

Xigbar didn’t laugh. It always sounded like he was one syllable away from a good cackle, but he never _actually_ laughed. But at that moment, he chuckled, like he was in on some kind of joke. It sent chills down their spines.

“Let’s see how long you guys last.” He whispered, and their battle began in earnest.

Meanwhile, Isa got back on his paws and launched at Lea, who half-turned to assess the situation, but snapped back into focus. He barely dodged the first blow, coming straight for his head, only for Isa to switch mouths and swing up, catching his lower left arm.

Lea cried out behind his teeth, then tried to scare Isa away with a wall of fire. The snow around them melted instantly, and the dead, wet grass smoked and burned. Isa stumbled away, but did not run. A growl rumbled through Isa’s body and into the snow as vile, yellow froth dripped from his lips. His three eyes glared at his enemy and friend.

“Isa.” Lea cautiously hoped he could hear him, even as he readied his chakrams, “It’s me, it’s Lea. Don’t let him do this to you, Isa, you’ve got to snap out of it, _please.”_

There was no true comprehension, but that middle eye focused on him. Ghosts of tears were welling in it; tears of distraught pain, of agony, of rage. Those tears flickered like the roaring flames dividing them. They would never fall to the snow below. 

Isa’s ears snapped up, as if he heard a call, then he lowered onto his two front paws and leapt through the fire. The flames curled around him, accepting him with wild grace. Lea backed away several paces, shoving his fruitless hopes away as he did so. Isa stood before him, his dry fur crackling and smoking, filling the air with the smell of burnt hair. 

Isa lifted his heads, one holding his claymore, and the other howled like a sea beast far underwater. The dirt trembled underfoot and Lea’s ears rang. If any human had heard, their eardrums would bleed. 

With no other warning, Isa charged with a command echoing in his mind: _Kill them._

Lea danced away from Isa’s frenzy of attacks, elegant and slippery as an eel. Every instinct within him was at war with each other. _Defend. ATTACK. No, don’t! Stop him! Defend! RIP HIM. TEAR. No, STOP! Can’t kill him. HE WILL KILL ME. SAVE HIM!_

_Can I?_

“Fucking Masters, Isa!” Lea roared, deflecting yet another blow with both chakrams. The force of it rocked up his arms. “Don’t make me hurt you!”

Isa didn’t answer, only continued his barrage. Trading off devastating arcs from his claymore, his snapping, rabid jaws, and his huge, clawed paws. 

Another sound, multiple sounds, like the cracks of a cannon, caught their attention. Several trees were blown over as an object hit them at a dizzying speed. The object hit the ground, skidding across the snow and knocking down another oak, and all was silent.

With no more distractions, another growl ripped through Isa and he swung his claymore and caught Lea in the jaw. 

Lea was thrown off his feet from the attack, but managed to regain his footing instead of falling down. One of his free hands cupped his snout as he blinked away his dizziness. His focus shifted from the throbbing in his bones to the taste of his gritty, acidic, acrid blood in his mouth. He must’ve bitten through his tongue on impact.

He barely dodged Isa’s next attack, jaws going for his fiery throat, only for long, black talons to catch him in the stomach. Lea hissed like a viper and went to retaliate with his own claws. One hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and the other went straight for the disembowelment. They only made an inch into Isa’s soft, withered stomach before he stopped himself. 

The middle eye was staring at him. In the whites of the eye he swore he saw a ghost of an old, familiar smile.

Isa lunged in his grip and icy hot agony blotted Lea’s vision. Isa’s razor-sharp fangs were gum deep in his shoulder, tearing through muscle and tendon. Lea’s lower maw screeched with pain and he dropped his chakrams. One hand held the other head’s jaw shut around the pommel while the other two free hands grabbed each part of the snout and forced his mouth open. The hand holding him by the throat shook with the effort to keep Isa from thrashing out of his grip, and the head holding the claymore wasn’t helping any.

Isa’s jaw was like a steel trap, and it took all of Lea’s focus just to keep his grip from slipping. But slowly, his mouth opened by short, stuttering increments. 

“Isa.” Smoke was pouring from Lea’s jaws, “Isa, _you’ve got to wake up.”_

But there was no recognition in those amber eyes. 

The pile of broken tree trunks shifted, and Hibiki’s disheveled, bloody body crawled out of the rubble with a feral snarl on her face. Her blood was as red as a human’s and dripping freely down her forehead. She impatiently wiped it off with her slush-soaked coat sleeve and grabbed her scarf, and quickly wrapped it around her head and notched it tight to keep the blood out of her eyes. 

Hibiki was sore all over. There were several bruises all over her body and another cauterized wound on her upper arm, and her shirt had all but melted onto her skin. It stung horribly in the chill. But despite, no, _because_ every nerve was telling her she was fighting a losing battle, her will was hardening to steel and her attacks were intently murderous. 

She felt Xemnas before he appeared behind her. The longer they were near each other, the more intimately she could sense him, as no doubt he could sense her. And unlike herself, wild and uncontrollable, he was stiff in both expression and tactics. He either didn’t like changing his battle style or saw no reason to change it. 

There was a whistle of heat on cold air and she ducked her head just in time to miss the red rod. It would’ve cleaved her head in two, steaming pieces if she hadn’t.

A noise, between the hiss of a lioness and the growl of a hyena ripped through her throat and she twisted and leapt, her dark claws bared and blinking off the dawning light. She aimed straight for his face, his awful amber eyes, and managed to catch him on the chin. 

Xemnas stepped back and touched the shallow cuts with an unimpressed grimace. When she pounced at him again, he backhanded her with a sweep of his hand. He would’ve liked to have said that it was as easy as swatting a gnat, but demonlings, as his Master had named them, were far more resilient than they seemed. 

He thought he’d be ready after witnessing Ansem’s progeny struggling, succumbing, and beating back his possession. As strong as the boy was, he still lost the fight, and was only able to come back to himself because of Sora. He had neglected to ask what generation the boy was; Riku was incapable of changing his form or summoning any demonic powers of his own at will. This woman was obviously a much more direct descendant of his, and thus possessed more power than he had expected. But still, what she had was only a morsel of what he had. No matter how much she struggled against him, against his influence, she would lose. Whether she’d inherit his Master’s heart or wind up a mangled corpse in the bloodied snow was still up in the air.

A whole tree trunk cracked over his head and he grunted in surprise. It was quickly followed by Hibiki herself. She leapt onto his back and clawed at his face. Her nails raked across his cheeks and eyes, hissing and spitting curses and insults at him. She tore off a nostril and brackish blood spilled over his lips and a well-aimed slash caught him in the eye, slicing into the meat of his eyeball. 

He gasped and reached behind him. He aimed for her head, yearning for the twist and satisfying snap of her neck breaking, but she writhed out of his reach again. But in doing so, he found her shoulder in his palm. With a silent snarl, he flung her off his shoulder and into the destroyed trees.

She flipped over in the air and landed awkwardly on her neck. She cried out in pain, terrorfied by the chance that her neck snapped, but she could still feel the rest of her body fall onto the rough bark and splintered wood. 

Though she had managed to avoid a devastating injury, sharp pain still rocketed up and down her neck and spine. White dots blurred her vision and the world spun around her. 

“Fuck.” She whispered, gasping for breath. Part of her wanted to sob, but she would never cry in front of him. Not in front of a demon. Not ever. Her broken, barely-human heart thundered in her breast. _I’m alive. I’m alive. I’m alive._ As inhuman as her heart was, it was still full of emotion that the demon she came from could never feel. Terror. Relief. _Rage._

Sorrow.

She heard the crack of branches behind her. He was approaching. She was losing. She might die here. Behind her eyelids she saw her mother’s warm smile and heard her voice as they sang together in the kitchen. Behind her eyelids she saw, or rather didn’t see a man where her father should be. All there was was an imprint; a painting taken off a sun-bleached wall, leaving behind its shadow forever. Behind her eyelids, she saw you. Heard echoes of laughter and conversations you had not that long ago at all. 

_Will I see any of you again?_ Her mind wondered bleakly. _I don’t want to die. I still have to find papa. I still need to get back home to mama. I still have to protect Y/N._ The ice between her shoulders pressed down until it burned, and something _snapped._

 _“I refuse to DIE HERE!”_ She flipped onto her back, ignored the protest of her spine, and smashed her foot onto his knee. 

Besides a half-falter, he ignored the blow and raised his open palm, the red blade hissing and popping against the winter air. His left eye was closed and black blood oozed from his nose and the gashes across his face. With apathetic displeasure, he struck down, but she twisted away and tumbled down the broken logs. 

Hibiki landed in a heap in the snow, but forced herself back onto her feet. When he appeared in front of her a second later, they returned to their deadly dance. Claws against blade. 

Behind the divide of diamond, Roxas and Xion were battling for not only their lives, but for their hearts and souls, and they would lose.

The Xigbar they were currently fighting was unlike the Xigbar they knew before. Had he been holding himself back all those times they saw him train in The Castle that Never Was? Or were his opponents so weak that he didn’t need to use all his power before? 

He was still cocky, still calculated, still had that streak of cruel arrogance, but there was a mercilessness to his attacks now. Everything before was just a game to him. The outcomes of the fights before held no real consequences for him. Now, he had focus. He had a clear goal in mind as he sent barrage after barrage of deadly projectiles after them, and he intended to get that result and none other.

The dawn was full of jagged, purple stars falling down on them. If the bullets didn’t get them from the front, they’d spin around and come at them from behind. But Roxas and Xion were a team, and they always swore to have each other’s backs. One would step in to deflect the bullets, only for him to snipe them between the shoulders, in the back, in the chest. But not the head. No. Never the head. 

The twins got their shots in. A beam of light caught him in the elbow while he was up in a tree, Xion’s Aubade cut his hip, Roxas’s Oblivion bruised his shin. All little mistakes he allowed himself to make. Oopsies, better not do that again.

Despite the wall he made between the group, he never strayed far from it’s view, and it was completely on purpose. Isa’s Corrupted Form beat against Lea’s resolve to not retaliate and left him bloodier and weaker with every blow. Xemnas wore down Hibiki’s resilience. Her movements were slowing, her attacks missed more than they hit. He was slowing down himself, but he wasn’t the one losing ground.

The sky was brightening slowly but surely, turning the snow from gray to blue. The sun should’ve sent golden waves across the forest’s banks, blanketing the barren trees, but nothing was bright in this world bordering on the In-Between. And, as they heard Lea’s useless begging for Isa to stop, as they heard Hibiki’s voice grow hoarser and fainter, they also heard the frantic beating of their hearts in their ears.

Back to back, keyblades in hand, both Light and Darkness at their disposal, and clothes torn and fur burnt and skin raw and bleeding and open wounds littered on their small bodies, they felt more useless than they ever had before in their short lives.

Xigbar’s dark chuckles drifted to their sensitive ears from the shadows, “Oh dear. I don’t think your friend’s have got much time left.”

As if on cue, Lea made a wrong move. He raised his sore arms to deflect Isa’s claymore yet again, but his chakrams were too low. The pointed edges of the giant claymore caught him in the neck. His shout was cut short and dissolved into a whimper. His body was carried by the momentum, the edges of the weapon stuck in the meat hiding within the mane of fire, and he was pinned to the ground. 

He dared not thrash or he’d tear his own throat out. Isa’s wolfish face leaned in, leering into Lea’s frightened eyes. One of Lea’s hands flew out and grabbed him by the bony shoulder, but couldn’t decide if he should push him away or just try to keep him from moving closer.

 _“AXEL!”_ Roxas and Xion screamed, and ran to the faint purple glow. They smashed their keyblades against the wall, but couldn’t leave a scratch. There wasn’t even a sound of protest from it to acknowledge their struggle. Just tiny fists against the wind. 

Two whistles went unheard over their cries. Two gasps cut the cries off. Silence. Silence. Two bodies, too young to die, met the snow.

After the shock of the pain ebbed away, only a little, Xion knew that they were dying. Xigbar had a marksman's aim, and he must’ve known they had hearts, or else he wouldn’t have aimed for them. They had just a little time left before their weakening, punctured heart stopped beating. 

_I only just started living,_ They thought with grief for everything they yet to see, yet to feel, yet to experience, _and now I’m going to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want Roxas to die._ Memories, clear as day, came to them like seashells carried by the waves. Memories of their brother, laughing at silly things and making fun of each other in the happy way. Of Axel and his kindness, his jokes, and his warmth, and the fear he tried to hide from them but couldn’t entirely. Of Saix, who was once, at best, a cold onlooker, and now had shown such strength and such remorse for his actions despite his lack of heart, that he had become a part of their family. And of you. You, who gave them nothing but support and love, with no expectations. All you wanted was for them to be happy, and safe. And when the truth came, you still loved them. You still held their hand. You ran away for them, and it was going to all be for nothing.

The realization hit them, and their heart thudded painfully in their chest. The gaping wound on their back, a perfect, gory tunnel to their heart, was going numb at the edges. Their fingers were tingling and their heartbeat was getting weaker. Soon, it would be barely a flutter. They would die, yes. So would Roxas. And so would Axel. And Saix. And you. And your friend, too. 

They knew the only way to keep that from happening was to play right into their hands. If the situation had been anything else, if it would’ve been just them, they’d allow themself to fade right there in the pale yellow of winter’s dawn. Crystalize and disappear with a smile, knowing Xehanort wouldn’t get his way. But it wasn’t just them. They had a decision to make, and they made it with solemn acceptance and a brave smile.

Roxas felt Xion’s fingers touch his own. His eyes snapped to them and he was suddenly full of grief so palpable he could taste it on his dry tongue. His heart thudded in his chest as he lay face down next to them, it struggled to keep him alive. He wanted to be alive. He wanted to _stay alive._

Their eyes mirrored his grief and fear, but it held a sad acceptance he could never quite match. Even when they were at odds with each other, even when they couldn’t understand the first thing about each other, they always seemed to know what the other was thinking. After all, they were once one. 

“Roxas…” They whispered as the first tears brimmed and began to roll down their face, melting the snow under their cheeks.

He tried to shake his head, but barely managed a twitch, desperate to deny it though he knew they were out of options, _“No.”_

A hoarse cry cracked through the wood, followed closely by a deafening howl and breaking trees. They flinched, but it only made their choice all the clearer. Their voice was strong, despite how soft it was, “We have to, Roxas. We have to help them.”

Without even thinking about it, his body was already beginning to smear like raindrops down a windowpane. Their bodies began to connect and collide like paints being mixed together to create a new color. 

“Xion…” His voice cracked in agony of misery and fear and loss. Tears rolled down his cheeks, “I don’t want to go.”

They already knew. Their voice was calm, but he knew they were weeping for a reason. “I’m glad I got to meet you. And Axel, and Saix. Oh, and Y/N, too.” They smiled, and it broke his dying heart into fragile pieces, “I’m glad… you’re my brother.”

His breaths were coming in short gasps, and he could feel Xion’s painful breaths fill his lungs as well, “Me too. I...” His voice was leaving him, coming from the far end of a tunnel, as were his thoughts, his reason, the turmoil that was his heart, “I love you, Xion. I don’t…” His memories were going, like the last shards of light before nightfall, “I don’t want to forget. _I don’t.”_

Their bodies were gravitating to each other, merging, broken and whole, and who they were before would be no more. They wouldn’t _be_ anymore.

Before their mouths vanished, Xion whispered in an echoing voice, “I love you, too. Please, don’t forget me.”

He wanted to say, _I won’t._ But he already had, and so had they. All that was left was a hollow shell, and vast rage and pain. 

Xigbar stepped back to admire his handiwork. The Emerged, at first glance, didn’t seem that imposing. They were relatively short compared to some other Corrupted Forms and weren’t draped in body horror and tentacles. But the shadows seeped into the ground, bleeding like ink, growing Darker until black was all there was. It blanketed them for a moment, then began to recede back into the snow, leaving smears in the air, like blood. A thorny coil of it circled around them, and above their head was a crown of thorns, and those, too, were pulled back down into their long shadow and disappeared.

They stood at about ten feet tall, covered from head to toe in thick brown fur. They wore something that resembled clothes, as if they were drawn by someone who only vaguely knew what clothes were. A blue bodysuit with a black emblem on Their chest. A black and silver jacket, similar to the ones Roxas and Xion had once worn, seemed so small on Them. It drew attention to Their barrel chest that narrowed too steeply to Their thin, bloated stomach, just like a child with kwashiorkor. Puffed pants of the same material were on Their strange legs and ended in silver and red metal, like armor.

Behind Them was a long tail that split into two along the way, curling towards each other before they could touch the ground. Their legs bent oddly, like that of a beast, and on Their cloven hooves were shoes of metal. Their long arms hung down in front of them, Their back hunched over like a marionette without its strings. There was a keyblade in each hand, exact mirrors of the other. Red and gold, blood and sunset, and these did not whisper; these were as silent as their master. The Emerged’s face was covered by a sharp red mask that hid everything but four eyes that stared blankly at the disturbed snow. 

The air was cold. Cold. _Cold._ Like ice in marrow and mind. The warmth of the blanket was there but perverted. It now felt like static on the skin, like limbs that were trying in vain to wake up, to get the frozen blood moving again. 

Everything went quiet, silent as shadow, if but for a moment. The air was thick on everyone’s shoulders and tongues. The hairs on Xigbar’s arms went on end, and part of him knew he would be wise to be afraid.

If They could have screamed, they would’ve. The eyes, long pupils of gold, spun around in different directions, independent of each other, and the tension was cleaved in half.

The Emerged was on Xigbar in less than a second, slashing their keyblades across him, aiming to cut him in three. He barely had enough time to teleport elsewhere.

He stood several yards away, grinning smugly, but when he moved forward, pain snuck up on him. He looked down at his black shirt and saw the front was cut and was growing sticky with his blood. He hissed and pressed his hand to the wound, finding it to be shallow. Even so, it was enough to startle him. This had never happened before. 

“Ah.” He mused, “Guess I’m in more danger than I thought.”

Then, a shadow descended upon him. Without a thought, he somersaulted back and narrowly missed a lethal skewering.

Then, The Emerged’s face was in front of him, barely a foot apart. His ears popped, like the atmosphere was being pulled towards Them like a vacuum. Those four eyes burned into him with not just hate, but _loathing._ There was something eerily similar in that gaze to a little angel he knew a long, long time ago.

His smile twisted into a humor-filled grimace, “Why is it you always have to glare at me like that?” And he leapt away, putting just enough space to take aim, only to find no beast to slay, _“Wha-?”_

A shimmer of shadow, a breath of foul air. _Below._ He looked down only to find a keyblade swinging skyward. 

The pain was immense. It had been a good while since he felt the sting of a keyblade. Not during his tussle with Terra, as he allowed others to suspect, but all the way back to the start of it all. He had forgotten how much it _burned._ As if the sun itself had struck him with all its fierce might. And with it came a full-body chill, rattling your bones, into your fingernails and teeth. Biting, scratching, aching, _moaning._

He fell in a heap several yards away and considered himself lucky that he fell into a snowbank. His chest was all numb and agony at the same time. A sluggish spurt of black blood fountained before dying back to a steady flow. His intestines, the same dark purple as all demons’, were glistening wetly in the early sunlight, slowly spilling out of his slashed abdomen. 

“Ah, shit. You’re not playing around, huh?” He muttered, knowing it was hardly a question. Talking just for talking's sake. He pressed his gloved hand to his gaping wound, vainly trying to keep his insides inside. “I call for a time-out.”

Those bright eyes were there again, staring down at him. They cocked Their head to the side, observing him. Were They enjoying this? Maybe, if joy was something They were capable of. All that anger had to go somewhere, and it had to be taken out on something. 

They raised Their keyblades in unison, never once taking Their eyes off of him. Xigbar thought, just for a second, that this was it. After all this time, he was going to die here, from the hands of this monster. The despair and fear and anger born of a good, kind heart. Fitting? Maybe. Maybe so.

But no. Not here. Not now. _I’ve still got work I need to do._

He summoned his guns and raised them just in time to block Their final blow. They pressed down onto him, facelessly leering at him. The pressure let up, and Xigbar almost dared to hope, only to cry out when those keyblades rained down at him one after the other. The sound of metal against metal, the musical chime of the keyblades against the hollow groan of his guns filled the air: _CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG_ and there was no letting up. They could do this forever, and They were going to, but Xigbar’s arms were growing weak and sore.

With a reserve of strength he always held onto, he gave The Emerged a parting smirk, “If only you still had a heart to be your guiding key, poppet.” And the air twisted into itself, and _popped._

The two keyblades hit snow. The wind whistled, the first warning of a tornado, and the snow erupted from around Their blades, floated for a just second, then fell back to earth with a _whump._

They stared at where Their quarry had been just a moment before. They didn’t move a muscle, like a toy that lost its battery, and then, there was a noise. Sobs. Dry, heaving sobs. Somebody nearby was calling for someone. Calling their names as if that itself could bring them back. 

The Emerged had a true name that didn’t belong to Them, but there was something that pumped in Their breast. It beat to no rhythm, a mess of something that couldn’t be called music. _Ba-bumpbump BUMP ba-BA-ba-bump BUMP bump ba-bump ba-ba-BUMPbump._

They turned around slowly. Their hooved feet pushed the snow into a small hill, but They felt no cold. There was nothing in that hollowed body. Nothing but a mess of drums that beat ceaselessly in Their ears. 

Their four eyes fell on some new game. Something new to take out all of this pain, this suffocating fear, this _hate_ They would give anything to be rid of. They shuffled forward, sizing up their new prey, crouched low, and pounced.

* * *

You stood in the old mansion, breathing in musk and cold dust. Before you, halfway down the once – grand staircase, stood someone you had thought to be nothing but a dream.

Naminé wore a cotton, baby blue dress that went past her knees, holding the barest hint of cream ruffles along the bottom and on short sleeves. Over her shoulders was a sheer poncho-shimmering ever so slightly when she descended another step into the light. Blue sandals were on her feet, but despite the light clothing she was unbothered by the cold seeping between the bricks. Her blonde hair was messier than you had ever seen it.

She was staring right back at you with disbelief in her gray-blue eyes. You both held your breaths, waiting for the other to break the silence. And as the moment dragged on, you couldn’t wait anymore.

“Is it really you?” You whispered. Your voice was nearly lost in the space between you. 

She finally took a breath and her expression melted into confusion, but by the hard line of her mouth, she was unsurprised. “Yes, it’s me.” She said you name in a clear voice, as if she had only now known it. “You’re really real.”

“I’m really real, alright. And so are you, apparently.” 

And just like that, she smiled, “We have a lot to talk about, but first, where are the others?” She frowned, “I sense other demons are nearby. What happened?”

Adrenaline shot through your exhausted body yet again. Your muscles tensed and your joints flexed. “We got attacked after we got in… whatever this is.” You moved towards the open door, but made yourself stop, “We need to get back there. They need help!”

Her soft eyes hardened immediately and she bounded down the remaining steps, but paused when she stood beside you. “I don’t have powers over demons.” She said, her voice was suddenly tired and disappointed, “I don’t know if I _can_ help.”

You put your hand on her shoulder, “What about the – uh, the Ancient? They called him DiZ, can’t he help?”

She lowered her chin in thought, her brows pinching, “He might… But I don’t know. He won’t just open his doors for anyone, especially after what happened when they trapped Sora and Kairi here.”

“But you told him about Roxas and Xion, right?” You pressed beseechingly, “He’s gotta know they can’t be taken by – whatever his name is – Xeha – _fuck,_ whatever. If he takes them, they’ll die and – “ You hiccupped halfway through your sentence. That’s right. They’d die, and the Master of Darkness would use them as a weapon of mass destruction. Roxas and Xion would be gone forever. Your chest suddenly ached with the horror of two hearts.

That horror was reflected in her eyes, “Of course I told him. If I hadn’t, he would’ve sent you away the second you got past the threshold. But he won’t open the doors for them.” She grimaced, “He holds grudges.”

More light spilled through the dusty window panes; time was ticking on. “We’re running out of time!”

She nodded, then turned her back to you and your hand fell off her shoulder. She shouted into the large room, “DiZ! We need help!” A moment of silence, _“Please!”_

Suffocation. All air was pulled from your lungs, and for a second you thought were going to pass out or die, then your lungs filled again. 

Standing at the base of the stairs was a tall, dark-skinned man with his hands held behind his back. He wore clothes unlike you had ever seen before, alien robes of black and red, and most of his face was wrapped up in dark red bandages. Hanging from his neck was a long necklace strung with wooden beads the size of your fingertip, painted in shades of gray. In the middle was a thick disk of wood emblazoned with a strange heart-like symbol. There was something ethereal and eldritch about him. Your eyes watered and your throat went dry as you stared at him until you had no choice but to look away. And still, you could feel his dark gold eye on you, like he was reading your heart and mind, cataloguing your every memory, your every virtue and sin, your every cruelty and kindness. Your hidden secrets, the things you never told a soul, your forbidden fears and hopes were being laid bare before him and you could not stop it.

When he finally shifted his gaze to Naminé, you could finally, really breathe. “What has happened?” He asked in a deep voice that made your ears ring. 

“More of Xehanort’s demons are here.” She explained quickly, “Inside the walls! They’re fighting Roxas and Xion and the others.”

You watched him from the corners of your eyes, it was the best you could do, and his eye flashed stormy gray before returning to haunting gold. “I knew I should’ve refused them.”

And just like that, a switch flipped within you. It still hurt to look at him in a place deep deep down, but your indignation and desperation gave you the strength to glare at him head-on, “It’s not their fault!”

And again, he was looking down at you, dissecting you piece by piece, “Demons bring nothing but trouble wherever they go, human. You would have been wise to have never offered your help.”

The anger you had always taken such care with reared its ugly head and you suddenly didn’t care who this guy was. You didn’t care about Lea’s warning to play nice. “They’re my friends, and they’re in trouble! I don’t give a shit what you think or what bullshit advice you have. If you don’t help us, they could die!” Your imagination swept you away, showing you their broken bodies, empty eyes, voices you would never hear again. An incensed sob rocked out of your throat before you could shove it down. “You have the power to help them, and you won’t because of something Lea was forced to do?!”

He said nothing, just continued to stare at you, expecting the next wave.

You swallowed thickly, “If that won’t make you do something, then maybe the fact the Master of Darkness will take Roxas and Xion away and make them into – into some kind of fucking _weapon_ will!” The voices of news reporters whispered in your ears, images of the devastation the Heartless were wreaking on the world swam across your vision, “He’s going to destroy the entire _stars-damned world!_ And you’re just sitting on your ass here?!” You jabbed your accusing finger at him, feeling the itching sting in your eyes and the tears roll down your face, “The _fuck_ is wrong with you? Do you think this doesn’t affect you? They’ve been _looking_ for you! Or – “ the thought suddenly struck you cold, “Naminé. And now they’re here. And when they’re – “ Your breath hitched tightly, “done with them – my friends – they’re going to come _here._ So what the hell are you going to about it?”

He said nothing for what felt like a lifetime slipping between your shaking fingers. His mere presence was beginning to give you a headache, but you didn’t dare look away, didn’t dare show submission. 

You barely saw Naminé in your peripheral. She took DiZ’s hand in hers, they could barely cover the back of his hand. “DiZ, you took me in when no one else would have. You know you can trust me, and you know how important this is. Not only to me, but to the worlds. The world need’s Sora, Kairi, and Riku, but it’ll also need Roxas and Xion. We need the power of every good-hearted keyblade wielder to face Xehanort, you _know_ this.”

The first sign of emotion furrowed his brow and pinched his mouth, “It would be safer to kill them.”

She tugged his hand imploringly, _“No!_ Don’t say that! It’s not true!”

The words spilled past your lips in a harsh growl, “If you lay a hand on them, I will kill you.” Their eyes were back on you, but a cold-hot wash was dripping down from your head to your shoulders, “I don’t care if I can’t, I don’t care if you’ll kill me before I can kill you. I will do everything in my power to stop you.”

A flicker of amused surprise, the slightest curve of a smile, “Is that so? You are either exceptionally brave or foolish to threaten me in my own Realm, so far from your own home.”

Your hands were fists at your sides and blood was beginning to replace the tears, leaving sticky trails down your face. “With all _due_ respect, I came here for help. I won’t leave until I get it.”

He finally bared his teeth in a smile, revealing rows of shark-like teeth, and he chuckled, “No matter how long I’ve lived, humans continue to surprise me. I forget their capacity for stubborn, surprising senselessness.” His eye glowed in the dim, “And if they do betray you? If Roxas and Xion merge and become that weapon we all fear? If that one finally falls to his possession? If those demons you call your friends stab you in the back?”

The blood was still coming down your cheeks, your vision was blurring and going dark, “I believe in them. I know they won’t hurt me, not on purpose.” As for the argument for The Emerged and Isa, you had no counter, but Naminé did.

“Even if they become The Emerged, their hearts won’t simply disappear.” She said, gripping his hand with all her strength, “I could save them. As for Isa, there has to be a way to help him, too. And I think I know a way.”

He cast his cool gaze on her, a silent debate in his mind. Behind his cold exterior, there was something warm in there for her. “Fine. But should something happen, it is your responsibility.”

She nodded once and let go of his hand, “I accept that.”

With that battle won, you finally let your tired, aching, bloodshot eyes fall to the rotting floorboards. You carefully wiped your face and dabbed at your tender eyelids. You had nearly gone blind there for a second, and your vision was still bleary and dark at best.

“What is your name?” You heard him ask.

You squeezed your eyes to push out the last of the blood and tears, “Y/N.”

“Very well, Y/N.” He said, and the bells in your ears began to subside, “I welcome you into my Realm. Do know I may revoke this invitation at any time.”

You glanced at him, and your eyes didn’t hurt. “Thanks. Now can we _please_ get going?”

* * *

Lea wasn’t aware of what was happening until the atmosphere threatened to flatten him. He was barely keeping Isa’s snapping jaw away from him, feeling the claymore’s sharp edges in his throat dig further in. It had missed his airway and larynx, but it was still a problem. If he made one wrong move, or if he let Isa go, he could very literally lose his head.

But that stopped mattering when the dawn dimmed and Isa’s shadow grew over him. Even Isa, mindless as he was, reacted to the sudden shift in the air. His ears flattened against his skulls and the head trying to eat his face off lifted away and turned to Lea’s left, peering over the twin’s head. 

Taking the opening for all it was worth, Lea grabbed the claymore by the pommel, then punched the one holding it in the nose. Isa released the weapon with a sharp yelp, and Lea roughly shoved him away and summoned a ring of fire to surround Isa, giving him enough time to carefully pull out the weapon from his throat. He could feel every wiggle and shift of it as he pulled it out, and his lower jaw howled and drooled. Finally, it was out and he could breathe again. But not for long.

Lea threw the claymore somewhere far behind him, hoping that Isa didn’t have the capacity to summon it back. After levering himself up on two elbows, he finally looked around for whatever distracted Isa. And he saw Them. 

They leapt and nearly made a Xigbar kebab out of weapons he couldn’t see clearly, but he dodged. For a moment, just a moment, he didn’t recognize Them and he wondered where Roxas and Xion were. 

A wink of pale light on blood-scarlet metal. Two foreign keyblades, one in each hand. They had them at their sides, clawed hands covered in thick brown fur held on to them like lifelines. He knew if he could see Their face, there would be four familiar eyes.

He had been slowly getting back on his feet, but his legs nearly gave out beneath him and his throat closed. His eyes prickled, but no tears could come despite how desperately he needed them. His chakrams fell out of his weak fingers and dissolved into flames before they could hit the snow.

“Roxas?” His voice cracked, their names heavy on his tongue, “Xion?”

They didn’t so much as turn his way. Instead, they attacked Xigbar with a viciousness that the twins would never use. Xigbar flew into a pile of snow and they were on him not two seconds later. Their movements were fluid, but… something was so off. An uncanny valley. A puppet following strings, a marionette, a mindless monster.

Lea barely registered the snow on his odd knees. A rasping, hoarse sob croaked out of his throat, but no tears. He wanted tears, he _needed_ tears. _He needed them back,_ **_please._ **

_“Roxas.”_ The world was spinning, tunneling and going dark and his voice was a scream and a whimper and cry and pleading beg, _“Xion.”_

The sound of Their keyblades rang hollow between the bare trees. Soon, They’d break Xigbar’s waning defense, and Lea knew when They did, They would waste no time killing him. Maybe he should’ve felt sorry for the poor bastard, but there was no room for anything but despair. 

Something happened then. Xigbar must’ve fled the battlefield because the force of Their attacks hit the ground and the snow kicked up into the air, becoming a white curtain against the dark beast. 

Their names kept spilling out. If he kept saying them, maybe they’d come back. He’d say them until the end of time, until his voice gave out and even after if it meant it’d bring them back. He wanted them back. He _needed_ them back. The echoes of his heart were breaking into tiny pieces, and though there wasn’t really anything there, every shard cut into him like glass.

Finally, They turned to the sound of his broken voice. The blue of Their eyes were nearly indistinguishable from the shadow the mask cast upon them. But those pupils split the same shadows, spearing the darkness with their familiar light. Except there was no warmth in them, and no cold, just a sea of human’s most awful emotions. Those same emotions that make us human, just as much as the good.

They crouched low, and They were gone. Lea’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes swiveled everywhere to find them. He hadn’t noticed that his wall of fire had dimmed to embers and that Isa was free again.

The awkward _splat_ of two bodies colliding from his right. He twisted his flexible neck nearly 180 degrees to find both Isa and The Emerged splayed out on the ground. The two of them had hurdled themselves at Lea, only to smack into each other before they could meet their target. Lucky him.

The Emerged was up first, standing there with hunched shoulders and limp arms. They cocked Their head as Isa struggled onto his paws. He shook his heads and bared his teeth at Them. 

The subtlest shift in The Emerged’s posture. Their armored hooves dug into the snow, Their fingers tightened around the hilts of Their keyblades.

Lea didn’t even have the breath to curse. He threw himself onto his feet, slipping in the slush just for a second, and dove between them with his chakrams in hand. Their keyblades smashed into his weapons with shocking force, but he could shoulder it while in his Corrupted Form. 

He made the mistake of looking in Their eyes. The mask cut Their face into four divisions, and each one held an eye. Which ones were Roxas’? And which ones were Xion’s? The answer was: none. They belonged to The Emerged now. There was no Roxas anymore. There was no Xion anymore. Their true name was Sora, or the form of Sora the boy never liked to acknowledge. They didn’t recognize him. He didn’t recognize Them. It didn’t make it any easier, though. It didn’t lessen the twisting, blistering pain where his heart should’ve been.

He shoved Them away, but they dug into the snow and only moved a few yards at best. Canines ripped into his wounded shoulder and Isa’s weight nearly threw him to the ground, but Lea grabbed him by the scruff of his neck where the two necks met and tossed him over his shoulder, right into The Emerged’s chest. They landed in a heap, but were back onto their feet before Lea could catch his breath.

Again, they turned on each other, ready to slaughter whoever was in their way, but Lea couldn’t let them do that. A wall of fire soared up from the ground between them, but it only made them turn their malicious attentions on him. A three-way battle, and he was putting himself in the middle of it. 

His previous wounds still stung. His snout had swollen up from the hits he’d taken from Isa’s claymore, and his scratches and bites were bleeding. His throat protested against his every movement and he could smell his acidic blood burning in his mane. The lower jaw moaned, then howled. A distress call; an SOS. 

Your face swam across his vision. You were probably still out there in the woods, maybe you’d be lost here forever. He promised he’d protect you. He promised he’d protect Roxas, and Xion, and Isa, and he had failed miserably. He should’ve known better to make promises, they always fell through in the end.

Hungry eyes and hungry maws charged at him. He raised his weapons. No giving up now. Not until they killed him.

Hibiki wasn’t aware of much more than the demon she was trying to kill, but she’d have to be deaf to miss the howl; the cry for help. Not that she could do much about it anyway, as the silver-haired motherfucking _shitstain_ was making progress with his execution. 

However, Xemnas’s eyes did follow the sound. A slow, victorious and infuriating smile spread across his dark face. “I see Xigbar succeeded in his mission.” And he turned away from her dismissively, like she was nothing more than a toy that he’d lost interest in. 

“Oh, no you don’t, old man. I’m not finished with you!” She ran, squatted down and swept at his legs.

He tripped a little and once again turned his attention on her, but to him she was nothing more than dog shit. She tried to punch him in the face again, but he caught her fist in one hand. But when he opened his mouth to make some arrogant remark, she used the leverage he had helpfully given her and swung her leg up and kicked him in the soft tissue under the chin. 

He choked, and she pulled his coat sleeve back to expose his strong arm and bit him like a crocodile; whipping her head from side to side to tear the meat off the bone. His sour blood filled her mouth and she fought a gag. 

For the first time, he actually released something close to a yelp, but her short victory didn’t last long. The arm she had clamped between her teeth went up, then came crashing down on a broken tree under them. The back of her head cracked against the hard bark and she let go of him with a gasp.

Xemnas brought his boot up, aiming straight for her ribs, but she rolled away before he could crush her like he did the log under her. Hibiki shot to her feet, slipped on an icy piece of branch, then ran at him. He dodged her first attack, then her second, raised his red blade and nearly punctured a hole through her shoulder, but she still had some stamina and speed left in her. 

She grabbed his extended arm and used it to push herself up. Her talons went into his neck, severing the flesh, but he only swept his blade and hit her across the right side of her ribs. Hibiki was thrown with a sharp cry and fell on the wound on her shoulder. What was left of her energy was wavering.

A dark whisper fell on her ears: _Go Corrupt._ _Now’s the time. Let loose. Kill him!_

Her muscles bubbled and bulged against her coat and she felt her tongue grow too large for her mouth. Darkness was swirling around her again, and she was ready for it, for the final shift. Her last chance at survival. 

A voice shook the ground and vibrated the air, “I don’t recall inviting you to my domain, demon filth.”

Hibiki picked up her head to try and find the source of the voice, but when she spotted him between the trees, her eyes did everything in their power to look away. 

His silhouette was that of a man in robes, but inside and behind and beside and before was anything but human. There were eyes, golden eyes, and so, so many of them watching her from within a gray mist like lighthouses. There were _things_ moving in that fog. Limbs; scrawny, bony, bent, thick, writhing, hands with too many fingers or none at all, and things that weren’t limbs at all. The fog was protecting her from knowing exactly what hid within it.

Xemnas stopped in his tracks, openly glaring at the Ancient, but he said nothing. Was his voice stuck in his throat like Hibiki’s was?

A thick whip of gray swung out of nowhere and wrapped around Xemnas’s body, pinning his arms and legs together to keep him still. He thrashed, then the tentacle-like _thing_ began to squeeze, and not gently. His bones started cracking within seconds and his organs would rupture soon. With a sneer, Darkness enveloped his body, and he disappeared.

DiZ scoffed in disgust, then turned his attention to the other problems. The very problems he knew would transpire. 

You were standing beside him with your hands to your mouth. Confusion and horror boiled up from your legs and into your brain. You didn’t recognize the three battling monsters, but it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. You had felt that vibrating howl in your bones. You knew what it had to mean.

“Lea…” You whispered, so shocked no tears could come to you, “Xion, Roxas, Isa…” Then you gasped and started searching with your eyes, “Hibi-?!” Hibiki shifted at the call of her name and you spotted her in the forest’s wreckage. You sprinted to her side and fell to your knees beside her, “Hibiki?!”

She groaned low in her throat, “Took you long enough…”

“I’m sorry – I’m so sorry!” You gently moved her onto her back with her head in your lap. Her many cuts and bruises and cauterized stab wounds demanded attention, but you didn’t have a first-aid kit on you. Best thing you could think of was to clean the open wounds and wrap them up. 

Her scarf had come loose and you peeled it away, horrified to find it sticky with her blood. The gash across her forehead was deep, and you could see a hint of white bone underneath. You switched between hissing curses and soothing whispers as you carefully washed it with some clean snow and, with nothing else to use, rewrapped her scarf around her head.

Of course the situation – _your friends_ – just out of your sight was screaming at you: _You were too late. Look at what happened!_ And the guilt was immense, but you wouldn’t stand a chance against them. Stepping into that fight would only make things worse. But you could do this; you could help Hibiki. Doing this kept the tears from becoming real.

Nearby, DiZ had made short work of the brawl. Isa was entangled in whips that smelled of iron and rain, pinned to the forest floor as he yowled behind his teeth. The Emerged was in a similar state, but Their struggling yielded more fruit. They managed to cut some of the tentacles with their keyblades before they could ensnare Them, and They were only getting angrier.

Naminé ran past DiZ, unable to take her eyes off of the monstrosity that was once her friends. But inside Them, she could see _them_. Their hearts, unique constellations that were larger and stronger than anyone would’ve thought possible, were still there. But they were a tangled mess, the stars were flickering like dying lightbulbs, and they were the dimmest she had ever seen them.

With tears in her eyes, she raised her hands, fingers poised like she was ready to play a harp, and they plucked at key lines connecting the stars, the very things that made them constellations. Normally, she would use paper and pencils and crayons and paints. It was gentler that way, and the lines could disconnect and reconnect without the recipient knowing any better. But she didn’t have time to be gentle, they didn’t have any time at all. So she broke the lines with her thin, powerful fingers, and just like that, she did what she promised she’d never do again. The power that came as easy to her as breathing. Playing with hearts was a simple game, and hearts were awfully easy to break. 

The Emerged flinched as if They’d been struck by lightning. Then, like a puppet cut from its strings, They went limp in DiZ’s grip. 

Naminé clapped her hands to her mouth and began to sob, hating herself and her power with every thin bone in her body. 

Lea was breathing heavily, eyeing the whips that had circled around him but hadn’t yet attacked. He tried to pick up his feet, only to trip and fall to his knees. The smell of smoke began to dissipate and coils of fire and shadow swept around him in a tornado. What was left was a broken demon kneeling in the snow.

DiZ’s eye flicked from each player on the field, before returning to Isa. He raised his hand to snap, but Lea’s voice stopped him.

“Don’t you dare kill him!” His voice cracked like a broken bone. “Don’t fucking – “ He groaned and nearly slumped into the snow, but caught himself on his hand. 

The Ancient looked down on him, like a cat considering a mouse, “Bold of you to demand anything of me. You should be grateful I haven’t decided to kill you.”

You gently put Hibiki down on the soft ground, prepared to get up and put yourself between them, “Leave them alone!”

Naminé finally sniffed back her tears, “I told you I think I know how to stop the possession.” When he didn’t respond, she brought her shoulders back, _“DiZ!”_

He sighed softly, “Naminé, Xehanort could see us through him.”

“Then knock his ass out, for stars sakes!” Lea shouted.

DiZ considered the option for a concerningly long time, then flicked his hand like he was waving at a fly. A whip uncoiled just enough to hover between the divide between Isa’s heads. Then, it swung down sharply and Isa went stiff, then still. The only way you could tell he was alive was by the quick rise and fall of his ribbed-lined chest. His Corrupted Form began to melt away in weak swirls of moonlight and Darkness, but it wasn’t nearly as smooth a transition as Lea’s. His fur shed in clumps and his skin bubbled as he shrunk, until finally, he was Isa again, moth wings and horns and all. Naked as the day he’d been Shaped. 

DiZ handed Naminé a few vials of golden liquid and she hurried to Lea’s side. When she was in front of him, they stared at each other uneasily. Lea had hurt her, and he had freed her, but that didn’t make up for holding her prisoner. Lea knew this as well, he just wasn’t sure what to do about it.

She handed him the elixir.

“Thank you.” He said.

She nodded, “You’re welcome.” And went to you and Hibiki. She knelt beside you, eyeing Hibiki warily, and the look was returned in equal, if unfocused measure. 

“Who the hell are you?” Hibiki muttered.

“My name is Naminé.” She answered.

You said, “She’s a friend of mine. You can trust her.”

“Your taste in friends is bad, Y/N. That doesn’t reassure me.”

Your lip twitched, “I refute that, but let’s just get you healed up.”

A little smile twisted Naminé’s lips and her shoulders relaxed a little. Your banter was enough to remind her that Hibiki wasn’t just part demon, as you had pointed out to her what felt like ages ago. With care, she held the vial over Hibiki’s chest and crushed it in her hands.

You gasped, _“Nami!”_ but the glass twinkled like ice before melting into drops of light. The liquid swirled into golden dust and fell over Hibiki’s face. Immediately, her fatigue faded and her injuries closed. They weren’t gone entirely. The skin was still pink and raw where Xemnas’s blades had hit her and there was an uncomfortable ache in her bones. Her eyes drooped sleepily, but she sat herself up just fine.

Lea wasn’t much better, but he got to his feet all the same, drawing your gaze. After making sure Hibiki was okay, you got up and ran to him. He watched you come with both relief and disappointment. _You hadn’t made it in time._ He thought bitterly, but reminded himself that _It wasn’t your fault._

Then your arms were around him and your head was on his chest, and it hurt. “I’m sorry!” You said, your throat tight, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t get them in time. Lea, I’m sorry!” Your eyes stung, but the tears were slow coming, “Roxas and Xion are – “ 

“Not your fault.” He whispered, and his hand came to cup the back of your head. The words out of his mouth barely sounded like his own, so far away from him. “It was me. I should – should’ve been more careful.” It felt like a hot poker was tearing at his chest. Your proximity to him intensified the pain too terrible to name, _“Masters, I couldn’t – “_

Your cold hands touched his face, but there were no tears on his cheeks. His voice died in his throat as he stared emptily at the sun rising in the sky, it’s beams drifting between icy branches. But it couldn’t reach him. It couldn’t reach you.

“They’re gone.” He swayed where he stood. His strength was failing again and everything felt empty and numb and cold and hot and alone and – and – _“They’re gone.”_

Your thumbs brushed over his cheekbones, “Maybe not. Lea, look at me. Please.”

He didn’t move, but allowed you to turn his face down so he could see you. The _other_ was a mess inside your chest; sobbing and screaming, all wrapped up tight within itself and threatening to break, but you had to focus on the man in front of you. He was the only thing that felt real amidst your grief and guilt. But you had to believe.

“Naminé said she might know how to save them.” You said, your wet breaths hung in clouds between you. “They can still be saved, Lea.” 

There was the barest flicker in his green eyes. A forbidden spark of hope. 

Your fingers slipped down his face, but a warm hand stopped one from falling. He pressed your palm against his cheek, staring at you in disbelief. Then, his eyes fluttered and he nuzzled into your hand, looking for comfort wherever he could find it. And he found it in your kind, distraught, teary eyes. In your gentle hands and soft voice. 

_They can still be saved?_

All around you was the remnants of a battle waged outside of time and space. If anyone would ask, he wouldn’t be able to tell you how much time had passed while they fought, even though the sun had left the horizon. Broken trees and black blood were scattered amongst the mess of slush and snow. The undisturbed winter wonderland had been knocked out long ago. Imprints of paws and shoes twisted and leapt like a dance, imprints of when they had fallen were left on the messy snow. 

He couldn’t tell if they had won or lost. Maybe neither. Maybe both. 

His long fingers twisted in your hair and pushed your forehead against his chest. He wished you could hear his heartbeat. “Really?”

“Really.” You promised, and you wrapped your arms around him again, under his limp wings, and held him tight. His warmth stung your cold face. 

He took a deep breath, you felt it, and he released it. “I believe you.”

You squeezed him. No words came to you. There was only the need to be close to him. To not let go. If you let him go, maybe you’d wake up and find that no one had survived at all. 

“You’re here, right?” You whispered, your breath fanning across his ribs, “You’re real, right? You’re not dead, right?”

“I’m not dead.” His other hand came to rest on the back of your neck, “You got us help just in time.”

“I didn’t, though.”

“We’re all still alive, at least.”

“That doesn’t make it any _better.”_

He was quiet, “I know. But you said we have a chance.” He wanted to see your face, wanted to look into your eyes, but you only pressed further into his chest and he allowed that want to pass. “And I’m going to believe you. I’m going to believe we have a chance.” As dim as that belief was. But it wouldn’t be there at all if it wasn’t you who said it.

Your hair tickled his skin as you nodded. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading!  
> we really getting into it now >:3c part of me can't believe i managed to write fourteen straight pages of fight scenes and i love writing eldritch body horror so that was a plus.  
> Btw I love hearing from you guys! Even if its just little things you want to talk about, feel free to leave a comment or hope over to my art blog https://artoutforblood.tumblr.com/ and leave an ask/message!  
> stay safe out there guys!!


	11. All That's Gained and All That's Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is ticking for Roxas and Xion, but Namine knows what to do. It's dangerous, but it's their only chance. 
> 
> How was she to know what would happen on those shores? How was she to know that to regain what they had lost, they would have to lose another?
> 
> How was Lea to know that to get back what he had long lost, he would have to lose something just as important?
> 
> How was Hibiki to know that her struggle to save you didn't matter?
> 
> How were you supposed to know that, to know who it was, you had to let him go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks honeyisthar for beta-ing!
> 
> TW: Body horror and Major character death.

The walk back to the old mansion was hard. Not because of any wards or traps, as an uncomfortable roll of your stomach said there was but you had no idea why, but because of the company. DiZ walked behind the group, better to keep an eye on his new guests, and Naminé was in front, as she knew where you were going. And in the middle were the five of you: Both Lea and Hibiki were leaning on you. Hibiki loosely held onto your arm. You couldn’t tell if she really needed the assistance or if she only needed to know you were there. Lea’s hand was on your shoulder, and his eyes kept switching between staring into empty space and sharply focused on the path before him. And right behind you were the sources of the suffocating gravity.

The Emerged and Isa were wrapped up tight in DiZ’s strange appendages; smoky whips with the elasticity and control of tentacles. You couldn’t decide which name to use for them. They were out cold, Isa had his eyes closed, but The Emerged’s were open and glassy. After protests from Naminé, Lea, and yourself, DiZ held them above the snow instead of dragging them through it.

As relieved as you were that they weren’t being handled like prisoners, their shadows dangling in your peripheral made the hairs on your neck stand on end. And with it came crushing guilt and feint hope. 

_You were too late. Too slow. Too useless. But we can save them._ Their smiles were ghosts, haunting and fleeting, _We have to. You won’t allow any other outcome._

The _other_ was a mess, but was slowly calming down little by little. The shock was wearing off, but everything else was as strong as ever. It felt like a double dose of emotional agony, but you managed to shoulder it with shaking lips and stinging eyes. Only the reminder that you weren’t alone kept you moving.

The walk was blessedly short. The tunnel of trees that had previously taunted you was gone, and you all stepped into the clearing unhampered. The mansion no longer leered down at you, but you still had a sense of uneasiness in your stomach when you looked at it. There were no longer hisses that you were trespassing making your head throb and your throat dry. As it’s Master had said, you were now welcome.

 _Don’t make us regret it._ It warned.

The gate unlocked without preamble. It fell away and swung open. 

“I am allowing you into my Realm.” DiZ said with a hint of a threat, “Do not make a mess of it.” And he waved Naminé forward. 

She led you through the doors that opened easily under her hands. You stifled a frustrated snort. “Follow me.” She said.

Now without the panic from your first visit, you took the time to look around. The interior of the mansion was warm, a stark contrast from the forest outside. There was furniture either destroyed on the floor or piled up against a door at your right. In the middle of the room was a sculpture of a crumbling castle, and beyond the frosted windows that took up the far wall you could see the outline of a statue of some kind of creature. 

You glanced behind you, only to do a double-take when you saw that The Emerged had managed to squeeze through the doorway.

“H-How…” You shook your head, “Nevermind.”

Naminé led you up the creaking stairs that surprisingly held your weight and took a right. Through the ornate door was a library with a large desk in the middle, and on that desk was a strange, unfinished symbol in gray and a feather quill and inkwell full of shimmering silver ink.

She took the quill and began to fill in the gaps of the symbol with practiced, precise strokes. When she was done, she quietly ushered everyone against the wall. The floor began to glow with waves of eerie silver light, until it was soaked in it and then gone entirely. All too fast to really appreciate the light show.

It revealed a simple, white, curved staircase, and you all walked down it without a word. There was a gap of empty air between each step, and you held Lea’s and Hibiki’s hands tightly as they carefully made their way down. There was no end in immediate sight as you walked round and round and down and down, but the warmth of the mansion had quickly evaporated and replaced by a gray mist. It fanned over your face like a waft of cool, fresh air, but didn’t hinder your sight of the staircase. 

“How much longer?” Hibiki grouched, a step in front of you.

“We’re almost there.” Naminé said over her shoulder.

You don’t know how long you’d been walking, and when you tried to make a guess, you came up with everything between ten minutes to an hour. Exhaustion was replacing the dizzying amount of adrenaline you’d been high on that night and you doubted you could handle any more stairs. But, what Naminé said held true and your feet finally met the floor below. You lifted your leg, expecting another step, only to stumble into Hibiki’s back. She hissed and you quickly apologized as she squeezed your hand in forgiveness. 

The mist cleared and you found yourselves in a long, high ceilinged room made completely out of white marble, though you couldn’t find a single line indicating a tile. There were light bluish-gray patterns on the floor and darker gray on the ceiling. Greek pillars were up against the walls as well as strange sculptures popping, like miniature fountains. And at the very far end of the room was a set of pale yellow-silver double doors, gilded with a strange, familiar emblem. Half on each door.

The symbol looked enough like a heart to make the comparison, with a long notch at the bottom and strokes on each side that might’ve been wings. The left door’s half was made with thick strokes and, compared to its neighbor, was unthreatening. The right door’s half was sharper and thinner and looked like it was baring fangs. As you got closer, you realized where you had seen it before. It was the same symbol on DiZ’s necklace. 

Naminé opened the doors and stepped back to allow you inside. The next room wasn’t much different in terms of architecture, but wasn’t empty like the first. There was a pale sofa and two matching armchairs around a square coffee table that nearly blended in with the marble. The furniture was utilitarian, a stark contrast to the ornate room, and on the coffee table was a strange board game and drawn pictures. The pieces and board were similar to chess, but some of the squares rose off the table and upon closer inspection, the pieces weren’t chess pieces. 

The three of you stood there awkwardly, eyeing the sofa hungrily but hardly dared to move. Naminé and DiZ walked past you and the doors closed softly behind you, but you still flinched.

“Please, take a seat.” Naminé said and went to pick up the papers. 

DiZ said nothing and continued on through another pair of doors with The Emerged and Isa in tow.

“Hey, wait!” Lea shouted weakly, “Where’re you taking them?”

He stopped and looked at Lea over his shoulder with his single, cold eye, “I’m putting them where they will be safe.” And closed the doors behind him.

With nothing else to do, you moved towards the sofa and deposited Hibiki and Lea onto it. They glared at each other and immediately scooched to the far ends of the sofa. You sighed and sat in between them and unzipped your coat. The moment your body hit the surprisingly soft and plush cushions, your very bones melted and your eyes felt heavy. What you wouldn’t give for just a few hours of sleep. 

After picking up all of the pictures, Naminé took a seat on an armchair across from you, setting the stack on her lap. “I know you must be tired, but we don’t have a lot of time.”

Lea picked up his head from where it was resting against his fist, “What do you mean?”

She took out a page and showed it to the three of you. It was a cartoonish drawing of Roxas and Xion’s demon forms, and in between them was The Emerged, but there was a heart shaped hole in Their chest. In that hole was a mess of black scribbling. “Roxas and Xion’s hearts are still in there, but they’re a knotted mess. In time, their hearts won’t be able to be separated, and they’ll be The Emerged forever.” She set the picture on the coffee table with grim finality.

“Then, go separate them!” Lea said with more bite than what was necessary. “Fix them like you fixed Sora!”

“Lea.” You scolded. 

But she was already shaking her head. Her shoulders were hunched and her hands were clenched into fists onto the stack of papers, “It’s not that easy. I can’t put Them to sleep and get rid of the knots, because more will form faster than I can undo them. Trust me, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I saw into their hearts while we were out there in the forest.” She deflated, “It was already such a mess.”

You leaned forward, “Then what do we do?”

She took a deep, steadying breath that set your nerves on edge. “If I tried to untangle their hearts here, I could do irreparable damage to them. Hearts are very, _very_ fragile, and theirs are still young. I would do it the easier way,” she tapped the papers in her lap, “but we don’t have that kind of time. The only way I can do it the fast way safely is to bring them to the very place that will keep them stable. The place where they were born and gained their powers.”

Lea’s eyes went wide and he took a sharp breath, “You can’t mean – “

“The Dark Margin.” She said gravely.

His head shook vigorously, “No. No way. That place is _evil!_ It’ll eat them whole!”

“But it can’t.” She shot back, “They’re immune to the Darkness’s influence.” Her eyes jumped to each of you intently, “The Emerged is a being created from Sora’s dark emotions, mostly his anger, fear, and despair. In the Dark Margin, those emotions can stabilize and might even grow, which will keep them strong enough to survive me pulling their hearts apart.”

You knew about the Dark Margin from Lea’s explanation, and you couldn’t stop the shiver that rolled down your spine at the thought of them going near it. 

“What the absolute fuck are you guys talking about?” Hibiki said with a face that almost made you cough a laugh. 

“Roxas and Xion transformed into The Emerged. That brown, hairy beast.” You explained, “And if they stay like that, they’ll… well, they’ll…” A lump appeared in your throat that you couldn’t choke down. 

Though she didn’t completely understand, she put her hand over yours and gave it a comforting squeeze. “You have terrible taste in friends, doll.” She stated plainly, “But that really fucking sucks.”

Lea scoffed, “ _Fucking_ understatement.” He pushed himself off the sofa and began to pace. A terrible restlessness set in his muscles that wouldn’t let him sit put, but he barely had the energy to shout and rave like he wanted to. 

You turned your hand over and squeezed hers’ back, fighting back the tears that were finally threatening to spill. 

After a long moment of silence, Lea spun on his heel to face Naminé, “What about Isa? You said you had some kind of plan?”

She frowned at his aggression, but didn’t let it faze her, “I do. But it’s not going to be easy, either.”

“I don’t give a rat’s hairy ass.” He bit, “What is it?”

Her frown deepened, but she said, “The entire reason Xehanort made you cast out your hearts was to make room for his own. If Isa’s heart returned to him, and with some help from me, we could force Xehanort’s heart out for good.”

Lea stood very, very still for a tense moment, “That’s it? How the hell are we supposed to find Isa’s heart?” He ran his hands through his messy hair, “What kind of plan is that?! Do you even know where angel’s hearts end up?”

Naminé’s eyes slowly slid over to you, “I have an idea. But we’re not going to solve that problem at the moment. Roxas and Xion need our help _right now.”_

He swallowed, but finally nodded, “You’re right.”

DiZ returned, calm as a leaf on still water, “I have secured the demon in a pod for safe keeping. The Emerged is being held in the Chamber for the time being.” He then turned his head towards the ceiling and made a come-hither motion, “I will bring the front door as close to the shores of the Dark Margin as I dare, but my help stops there. I refuse to ever step foot on that miserable strip of sand ever again.”

Naminé nodded understandingly, but her fingers were knotting together on her lap. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

A bitter, wry smile twisted her lips, “Now, we figure out how we’re going to get Them to the Dark Margin.”

Your eyebrows crept up. All you had was two tired and beat up demons at your disposal, and The Emerged wasn’t small. Both Lea’s and Hibiki’s mouths puckered, thinking along the same vein.

“I can help.” You said.

Both Lea and Hibiki outright refused your offer on the spot.

“Like hell you are!”

“If you think I’m letting you anywhere _near_ that place - !”

“But I can and you’re not going to stop me!” You snapped, “Naminé, do you guys have any – I dunno, blankets or tarps big enough to carry Them?”

DiZ answered for you with a snap of his fingers. A giant, stormy gray tarp made of stiff, strong fabric appeared, folded, on the coffee table beside the not-chessboard. 

“I guess we do.” She said.

“Great.” You got off the sofa and picked up the tarp, still huge even folded up into a neat square. “My idea: we put The Emerged on the tarp and the four of us drag Them to the shore. One person per edge.”

Lea and Hibiki’s arms were folded tightly against their chests and, for an uncomfortable second, they looked very similar. 

Hibiki muttered under her breath, “Could work.”

Lea sighed, “But the Heartless could appear at any time.”

You felt a cold chill settle low in your gut at the thought of coming face to face with those monsters. It made you realize that the fear had always been there, out of sight but never really out of mind. You knew survivors who had come face to face with them were very few. The Heartless were a relentless and never-ending enemy that would stop at nothing to kill you.

Ignoring the slight tremble in your voice, you put on a brave face, “We don’t have a choice.”

Hibiki bared her fangs and her claws punctured her coat, but she didn’t mention the elephant between the two of you. 

“Hibi…?” You asked.

She shook her head and turned her chin away so none of you could see her face, “Fine. Whatever.”

“Hibiki, you don’t have to – “ 

“I made a promise and I intend to keep it.” She still didn’t show her face to you, but you didn’t have to see it to know she was upset with the idea of heading straight towards the Heartless. “What’s this Dark Margin, anyway? Why’s it got Heartless?”

“It’s in the Dark World.” Lea explained with the last of his patience, “It’s where the Heartless come from. And, Y/N,” 

You stiffened at his tone, “Yeah?”

He took a step towards you, his eyes were boring into your own, “You can’t touch the water.” 

“Huh?”

“By any means necessary.” He said, and emphasized his words by putting his hands on your shoulders, “You. Can’t. Touch the Darkness. The ocean of the Dark Margin. Remember what I told you about it?”

“Kinda?” You winced, “It was a lot of information. I know it tried to possess you, right?”

“Yes, and it would’ve in a way if I still had my heart. And even then, it’s only because I was an angel that I got out of there with my mind intact. You’re _human.”_ He gave you a gentle shake. His viper pupils were burning red, “If you step into the Dark Margin, the Darkness will _eat you alive._ It will corrupt you from the inside out and there will be nothing of you left! You’ll die.” He ended in a whisper.

The _other_ was burning so much it was almost blistering. 

_“Not gonna let that happen.”_

Within a few hours it had grown stronger than you had ever known it to be, or was it this strong the entire time and not even it knew?

“Don’t touch the spooky water. Got it.” You squeezed his arm. None reassured, he still let go. You looked over at DiZ, “Are we there yet?”

He nodded and opened the same door he had emerged from. “I will prepare Them and meet you in the foyer.”

Naminé set the papers aside on the table and led the three of you through the open door and straight into another long room. This one had a huge set of double doors at the end. The door closed behind you. DiZ had not followed.

You glared at the door behind you with one eyebrow raised. As much as you wanted to make a comment on how the guy was kind of an asshole, you had enough sense to not say it in his home. He probably knew everything that happened here and you’d prodded the bear enough. And, you guess, he did come to the rescue. Fine.

You caught Naminé watching you and you faced her. The two of you stared at each other for a long time before you both smiled and went in for a hug. 

She hugged you around your waist and you patted her messy blonde hair. “Hey, girlie.”

“Hey.” Her voice was muffled against your shirt, and her shoulders began to shake under your hand. 

You held her closer, close to tears yourself, “Been a long night.” She nodded, and the front of your shirt started to get damp and her little sobs grew louder. You hushed her softly, working out the tangles in hair with gentle care. “It’ll be okay, Nami. It’ll all be okay, you’ll see.”

You could tell there were words trapped in her throat, and you knew her well enough to imagine her saying: _But what if I can’t do it?_

“You can do it.” You soothed, “I believe in you. I trust you.”

She sniffed and hiccupped and her arms tightened around you.

“I’m glad you’re not a dream, Naminé.” You said.

Her choppy breaths finally evened out and she moved her head so that her cheek rested on your chest, right below your heart, “I’m glad you’re not a dream, either.” She whispered quietly. Then, she cocked her head, pressed her ear a little closer to your chest. The quizzical silence dragged on, but you didn’t disturb it.

Hibiki watched the two of you with a little knot between her brows, but her eyes were soft as she watched the girl in your arms. You could already sense that protective streak brewing in her. Lea, however, seemed a little uncomfortable. He didn’t look directly at the two of you, and the _other_ wilted in shame. 

When Naminé pulled away, a question on the tip of her tongue, DiZ entered with The Emerged in tow. There were chains around Their limp body, and Their eyes were still open and blind. His whips held Them aloft as he walked towards the front door, with the four of you following as closely as you dared. The doors opened for him and, without stepping outside, his extra appendages carried The Emerged out.

Naminé fearlessly stepped outside and the rest of you were helpless to follow. The Dark World was aptly named. It was _dark_ , but you could still see well enough, just not as much as you’d like. Like Lea had said, there wasn’t really a sky, just rolling things that might be clouds, but the way they moved reminded you of muscles under hard skin. It looked and felt like it would storm any second, and not just any storm, a cataclysmic storm. A tsunami, or tornadoes, or both. The air was thick and cold, and your joints immediately began to ache in their sockets.

The earth was sharp, to put it simply. From the hint of spiny, twisted columns and spires over the water to the pebbles under your feet, which dug into the soles of your boots and threatened to spill you over their edges. The little rocks gradually became smaller in the distance, and in that distance, you saw a hint of a beach through the dim. There were boulders that did not look the least bit comfortable to sit on. You wouldn’t do it even if someone paid you. And it was all in varying shades of black and dark purple, with flecks of glowing violet thrown into the rock. They pulsed like lungs breathing air. The Dark World felt alive in a sickly, uncomfortable way. You couldn’t savor the experience of being the first human to touch another world besides Earth. Walking on its soil made you squeamish. 

You cast a backwards glance at the Castle and almost yelped. That _thing_ was barely a castle and didn’t match the interior at all. It was made of some kind of stone a color you couldn’t quite place, and the shingles were a shade of green you did not like. Towers stuck out in odds and ends that simply didn’t make sense and windows glowed eerily orange in the darkness. Its presence unsettled you more than the old mansion did, if only because it didn’t hide the secret of its true nature.

Wanting to get this part over as fast as you could, you and the others unfurled the tarp and laid it on the ground. DiZ carefully put the chained Emerged on it. 

“Thank you.” Naminé said, and you and Lea echoed it respectfully, but not happily. Hibiki did not, but that didn’t surprise you. 

Hibiki and Lea took the front of the tarp, as they had more strength than you and Naminé, who held up the rear. You counted down from three, and they pulled and you followed, trying your best to keep the fabric from snagging on the jagged ground and to keep Them from rolling off.

Your idea was working, and the beach was drawing nearer with minimal effort that still gnawed on the last dregs of your combined energy. For the first time that night, you felt useful, like you’d finally done something right. 

But, no Heartless had shown up. You kept expecting it with every few steps. One of them was going to just pop right out and scare you shitless. But they didn’t come, and that was sort of worse. The muscles in your shoulders and back were beginning to tighten and your eyes strayed from your destination more and more. The _other_ was right along with you, burning brightly and anxiously. It felt like someone was holding onto your elbow. Like it knew something terrible was about to happen and wanted to pull you away at a moment's notice.

Everyone was thinking the same thing, but didn’t dare say it aloud and jinx it, not that it mattered in the end. What happens will happen, with or without your input. 

The breeze coming off of the dark ocean kicked up and bit right through your layers. You wished you had zipped your coat back up before leaving Castle Oblivion. But the breeze didn’t lift a candle to the ocean itself, the Darkness Lea had warned you about.

Lea’s descriptions of it were apt. It was calm, it was vast, and it was _dark_ dark. There was an orb past the horizon curtained by strange rock formations, a mockery of a full moon that gave little light. But back to the ocean, it was more than just dark. There was a familiar call to it that set your teeth on edge. It drew up your anxiety and your exhaustion the louder its gentle waves became, and you heard echoes of memories you’d rather forget. Memories of hatred, of terror, of sorrow, of loneliness, of desperation and despair. You remembered standing on the edge of the clocktower, looking out at a tiny, living world and feeling empty and dead inside. You felt small on the shores of the Dark Margin. Useless. Meaningless. Hopeless.

_You want to drown._

You didn’t realize you had been slowing down until a burst of heat snapped at you from inside your chest. You flinched and felt a cool hand on your wrist. Naminé’s eyes, as depthless and Xion’s and Roxas’s bore into you. 

“Ignore it, Y/N.” She said firmly, “That’s not you. You’re stronger than it is. Don’t listen to it.”

You gulped and nodded. Sweat was dampening your brow, but not just from the exertion of dragging The Emerged across the treacherous sand. Hibiki was in a similar state. She was baring her teeth in a snarl. She hadn’t cast away her demon form yet, and you could see her tail thrashing from side to side like a cornered animal.

“Hibi.” You called out, and she flinched, “You don’t listen to anybody, so don’t you start listening to that.” You pointed at the water.

She looked at you from over her shoulder.

“They’re right. It’s just trying to make you feel like you’re weaker than you really are.” Naminé said. “And I don’t think you’re weak.”

She lowered her chin, then nodded once with a light huff of laughter. “You’re damn right I’m not.” 

With the four of you moving again, you were nearing the water’s edge. The cold wind suddenly drew back unnaturally. There was the sensation of eyes on the back of your neck. Hundreds of them. You looked over your shoulder, beyond the line of rocks that blocked off the sand from the rest of the world. The eyes were real. 

A scream caught in your throat as a mass of living darkness split apart and yellow eyes multiplied and mouths opened in silent, ravenous screams. Naminé caught sight of them too, and put herself between you and the shadows that were ready to crash down upon you like the ocean’s ruthless tide. But, before they could sweep you away and tear you apart, a wheel of fire flew into them, connected with their hard exoskeletons, and the first wave disappeared in blotches of ink smeared on the wind. 

Lea’s voice cut through the sound of scuttling limbs and flaps of leathery wings, “YOU GUYS GO! I GOT THIS!” 

Hibiki grabbed their side of the tarp and pulled with all her strength. You and Naminé switched sides, moving over to the side of the tarp that was facing the ocean, and yanked as hard as you could. The adrenaline was only making you dizzy, now, but you refused to lose your footing. 

Together, you veered towards the Darkness and stopped before you reached the lip of the waves. The Dark Margin didn’t leave wet imprints on the beach, the sand was as dry as old bones. There was no real way to tell how far the ocean could creep up. 

“Y/N, stay here!” Naminé told you without room for argument, “You – Hibiki, you’ll be okay if we go in. Help me drag Them – “

You barely caught sight of the Heartless that swooped for her head, and you don’t know if you would have noticed if Hibiki hadn’t pounced on Naminé and forced her head down before the shadow monster knocked it clean off. You followed its trajectory and saw it to be a sort of container full of thick liquid, too blue to be water, with beady eyes and a cackling, sharp mouth. It swung back through the air, aiming again for Naminé, but Hibiki kicked off the ground and raked it with her claws as it flew past. The Heartless tailspinned and dissolved into smudges of darkness before hitting the ground.

But, as everyone knows, Heartless move in packs. More of those pot-like Heartless were swooping towards you, along with disgusting hybrids of insect and child, and insect and human, and bat-like creatures. Lea was following them to rush to your aid. His chakrams flew through the air in a sloppy frenzy, and though he managed to slay many in one blow, there were dozens if not _hundreds_ still slipping out between the crevices of the sand dunes and boulders. 

_“What the fuck?!”_ You gasped, rushing over to Naminé and shielding her with your body, “Where’d they all come from?!”

Naminé was staring at The Emerged. You thought you heard her whisper, “They’re here for us.”

“Us?” You hissed, “All of us?”

She shook her head, but there wasn’t any time for explanations. Hibiki stood there for a second, torn between the need to protect you, and the knowledge that if Lea fell, you all were fucked. 

“Go!” You told her, “We’ll take care of it!”

She didn’t like the sound of that, but one of those flying Heartless knocked into her shoulder and forced the decision upon her. You turned your eyes to The Emerged, to Naminé, and then to the ocean that was the Darkness. Your decision was forced upon you, too.

You grabbed The Emerged by one of the chains wrapped around its shoulders, “C’mon, it’s you and me.”

Naminé gaped at you, the meaning behind your words clicked into place but made no sense. She grabbed your arm, “Wait! If you go into the waters, you’ll be corrupted! You’ll die!”

You held onto the chains even tighter. _Be useful._ “And if we don’t get them in there, they’ll be stuck like this forever!” The rage of battle pierced your ears, but you didn’t have time to look, “Now grab that side and pull!”

She wanted to cry, but she did as you told her and wiggled her hands around a thick chain and pulled with all her strength. The Emerged was heavy, very, very heavy, but you managed to find purchase in the sand and together you dragged Their huge body towards the ocean. You were tired, so tired, and your heart was hammering in your chest. And though you felt like your shaking arms were going to pop out of their sockets, you still managed to keep moving.

You were trudging backwards, facing the battle. Lea and Hibiki were outnumbered and still exhausted from their previous fight, but even as they stumbled and faltered, they were still fighting with all they had and more. Despite their rivalry, they worked good together, side by side. But they couldn’t hang on much longer at this rate. They would die.

Sharp pain shot through you from your ankle and up your leg. You had met the waters of the Dark Margin. It was so cold it burned, no doubt the worst pain you’d ever been in, but even though hot tears rolled down your face, you kept going. You slowly submerged, losing strength with every step. It was agony, but even when you nearly fell, you caught yourself and didn’t stop. Not until you were up to your stomach and Naminé was nearly up to her chest. 

You glanced at her before you lost the fight and collapsed. Antlers had sprouted from her scalp, her skin now pearly white. Her ears now resembled her True Form’s, fluffy and sticking out of her head. Her eyes were all blue and gold, no white sclera to be seen, and you couldn’t tell if it was your eyes tricking you or if she really did dimly glow. 

Your knees gave out beneath you and you fell backwards into the sea of darkness. The scalding chill seared through your very veins. You were afloat, but not for long. She screamed your name and her beautiful face appeared above you, her wide eyes shedding tears.

“It’ll be okay.” You tried to say, but you weren’t sure if she heard, or if you had said anything at all. Your vision was going black, and with it came the feeling of something else pushing into your mind, body, and soul. It wasn’t the _other_ , no, it was something else entirely.

Inside your heart, that familiar fire blazed, desperately trying to keep you warm, aware, alive. 

_“You can’t go yet! You can’t leave! I need you!”_

It screamed, trying so hard to keep that _thing_ from taking you.

But, with your death came a peace you didn’t expect. Maybe before. Before you opened the door and let them in. Before these people entered your life and home. These people who became so precious to you made their way into your heart. 

Maybe it was for that very reason you didn’t fight it. You made your choice, and any chance to come back was lost the second you hit the water. You didn’t want to go. You didn’t want to die. You wanted to live with every bone in your body. _You wanted to live._

But it was okay. Xion and Roxas would live in your stead. With them could come a chance to win this hopeless fight. Even if it meant that you had to leave them, you had faith that they could handle it on their own, without you. You hoped your love would still reach them after you were long gone.

 _It’s time to let go._ Your voice reached out, holding those shaking hands that held on so tight. Funny how you only now realized who’s hands those resembled. The realization didn’t even surprise you. Maybe you knew all along. _You need to go home, now. He needs you._

_“I won’t!”_

You gently peeled the fingers off your heart. _Thank you. For being with me for so long. For being my friend._

The voice trembled and wept with drops of sunlight.

_“I’ll bring you back! I’ll always be there to bring you back!”_

You smiled, watching that warm light float away, _Goodbye, Lea._

* * *

Sweat poured down Lea’s face. He had no energy to release himself into his Corrupted Form, no energy to even roar. If things didn’t turn around, and fast, he’d have to give himself up entirely if the others were going to even have a chance.

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to miss Xion and Roxas and Isa’s lives. He didn’t want to miss a short human lifetime he could’ve spent with you beside him. It’s funny, how much you realize you can lose when you’re about to give it all away.

A Novashadow blindsided him and he didn’t react in time. He was thrown to his knees with a grunt. His chakrams hung from his weak fingers. But, before it could finish him off, Hibiki was there. The Heartless was gone in a puff of foul smoke and ink, but he could tell Hibiki was on her last legs too. She was panting hard, her bangs plastered to her forehead. 

“Hey, grape,” He said, pushing himself up onto his trembling legs, quietly summoning the very last dregs of his power. “get away from me!”

He didn’t like her. Never really had, she had threatened him and punched him too many times for him to like her, but she was still your friend. And with him gone, she would be the last line of defense until Roxas and Xion were saved. 

_Roxas. Xion._ He knew the grief he was feeling was but a small portion of what a person with a heart could feel, but it was still so much. He had failed in what he had set out on months ago, about half a year now, to do. That was to protect them from Xehanort and his lackeys. To make sure they didn’t meet the fate they were doomed from day one to face. And he had failed miserably. 

_But they can be saved._ That was your promise to him. That is what Naminé promised she’d do. Promises fell through more times than they came true, but he trusted you. He had for a long time, though he still didn’t know why. He didn’t know the first thing about your mystery, and he was going to die never knowing. 

_But you’ll survive. And Roxas and Xion will be saved. Isa will be saved. That’s all that matters. I guess I don’t fit in that equation anymore._

Hibiki whipped around to face him, then beat off another Heartless before it could reach them, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just get away!” He barked, his form already smoking. 

Seeing the first, small embers bursting to life on his skin, her eyes widened, “Hey!”

Just as he was ready to leave the world with a bang, just as he always imagined he would, a ball of light appeared before his eyes. He barely had time to register it before it dipped below his line of sight, then, warmth bloomed throughout him like petals of a flower. 

He gasped and doubled over as if he had just been punched, or waking up from the longest nightmare. The thump of his heart were deafening drums in his ears and alien in his chest. And with it, pain and emotion in such intensity that he wanted to die with the taste of his salty tears on his tongue. He thought he was in emotional agony before? Oh, how naïve.

When the moment of shrieking feedback cleared, he remembered a time spent in a gentle place, where he healed with the help of patient hands. Memories and emotions tied to him flooded his mind. They were his, there was no doubt, they just transpired without his knowledge. Floating, flying, diving. Dying.

_“I won’t let you go.”_

Dreading what he was going to see, he looked over the waters and bellowed a shrill scream. You were just barely visible, sinking into the Dark Margin, soon to be swallowed and made into something unrecognizable and dead. 

Then, a flash of light. Naminé stood over your body, a white, gorgeous keyblade in her hands, the tip of the blade hovering over your disappearing chest. She was shaking with the power of her sobs, but a little light appeared, hovering over you, and then it was gone in a burst of fireflies before they winked out entirely. _Gone._ Just like that. _Gone._

Still crying, she dismissed her keyblade before going to The Emerged. She plucked on invisible strings and a mangle of constellations twisted into the air. In a pseudo-calm furry, she began pulling the tangle apart with careful fingers. 

And you were gone under the waves. 

Red was all Lea could see. He wasn’t even sure if he could summon his monstrous form with his heart back, but when he felt his skin rip apart and fire and light and darkness swarm him, he found that he most certainly could. 

His roar was joined with a piercing shriek from Hibiki. She saw the last of you sink. She knew what that meant. You were dead. You were _dead._ Her only friend and you were dead _dead_ **_dead._ **In a flurry of twisting, furious darkness, her skin blistered and turned black. Her limbs elongated, her bones snapped and crackled violently and she screamed again in pain as her bones grew and mutated. She had turned into her hidden Corruption. A goblin with large, dark eyes and a wide mouth full rows of needle-sharp teeth. Her skin was rough and leathery with purple accents along the extremities and horns. Her hands were much larger and ended in sickle-like claws. Her lips pulled back to reveal her black gums and pointed tongue and just how long her teeth were. 

Her ruined heart wasn’t dead enough not to feel the sheer tearing grief and denial. It rushed through the veins that bulged against her temples and down her thin throat. There was only one outlet she knew of to release this numb pain. She charged with a screech that rattled her bones and the Heartless were caught off guard by her slaughter. 

Lea didn’t know what he looked like now, but he knew this wasn’t his Corrupted Form, though it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, but _everything_ mattered. He still had that long, lanky height, and his build was similar enough he was able to slip into his mad butchery easily. The mane of fire was gone and his neck was still long but no longer hunched, and some dim part of him caught sight of a fiery-orange-golden glow from behind him. It didn’t matter though. _It didn’t matter._

You were gone. GONE. _GONE._ And unlike Roxas, Xion, and Isa, there was no way you could come back. Humans aren’t as resilient as demons and angels. So fragile. So mortal. 

He could still feel your hair between his fingers. The memory of your smile was tainted by the memory of you drowning. Two memories merging together, two memories that were never meant to be apart and made so much sense when they were pulled back together. Two memories of every precious moment. 

Burn. Burn. _Burn. Burn it. Burn it all away. I can’t take this! IT HURTS TOO MUCH!_ **_IT HURTS!_ **

His powers came so naturally to him. It felt like he had finally gotten out of clothes too small for him and he slipped on something new but so _right._ His fire was no longer angry and vicious, but neither was it tame. It was wild, always would be, but this fire didn’t fight him. It followed his command, coils and geysers of shades of red and orange and yellow he’d never seen before. There was gold, like the gold he had long ago, and there was scarlet, like the one he chose, and there was this. It was both. It was neither. It was every color in-between and outside of the cages he had been trapped in. A whole slew of choices he never knew he could make. 

But the beauty came at such a price. It was perfect in its imperfection, it was everything he never knew he needed, but if he knew what it would cost him, he would’ve never accepted it. 

Your name. At that moment, he wished he’d never known it. He wished he never knew your face from a crowd. He wished you were still back in Twilight Town, living your life unaware of who he was. He wished you were a perfect stranger. If it meant you would still be alive, even if it meant you never met, even if it meant his heart never returned to him, he would take that future in a heartbeat. 

The air was smoke and ash and ink smears on windowpanes and Hibiki’s heartbroken howls. He knew he must’ve been screaming, too, but he couldn’t understand the sound of his own voice. It didn’t exist. 

* * *

Naminé stood in the ocean of the Dark Margin, feeling the Darkness’s chill against her skin, but it didn’t want her. If it had wanted her, she would have woken up on its shores like The Emerged had. But she had too much Light in her that no amount of Darkness could ever extinguish. She was too strong for it, and so was Roxas and Xion. The Darkness _loathed_ them, and they knew it. 

Part of her wanted to grin down at it, as if it could see it and know that she knew. Know that she knew she was stronger than it. That _they_ were stronger than it. That she knew it would _never_ have them and how she gloated over this fact.

But all she could do was weep. All she could do was try to blink away the salty tears before they could cloud her vision. It was all she could do to stand upright and pluck this tangle apart while knowing your body was submerged in the Darkness, under its waves. She may have played her last ace, gave you one last chance at survival, but it wasn’t there with her. Whatever was going to emerge from those shores was not going to be you.

She just prayed that she had enough time to pick apart the cluster of snarled constellations and put them back together the way they belonged. Apart and _whole._

Though they had never met in person, she loved Roxas and Xion. They had long conversations in their dreams and found solace in one another. Alike, but different. They were born without hearts of their own, and so had she, only to have hearts grow within them. And though their cores were the same, they came from opposite ends of the spectrum. 

She came from Kairi, a Princess of Heart, a human with only Light in her heart. The exact opposite of a demonling. Naminé manifested when her stubborn, single-minded desperation to save her friends outgrew her control. Roxas and Xion came from Sora. He wasn’t a Prince, just a normal boy who held a secret beside his heart. The Emerged manifested in those waters when he was forced to tear himself apart in order to save his friends. He was pulled back together with his friends’ help, but a portion of the emotions he didn’t like was left behind. 

The three of them were best friends. Both of them were so precious to her heart. They were the only ones that stayed with her when the others left. They’re the only ones she didn’t hurt. 

Well… were. 

Even with the tears blurring her vision and her sobs kicking at her lungs, her fingers still played their hearts like a skilled harpist. She could feel exactly where the connections were wrong, she knew whose star was whose, she knew how to untangle the knots with the least amount of struggle. And her movements were precise and she moved quickly. Too fast for the merging to keep up. 

The constellations before her eyes were soon drifting away from each other with each helpful nudge from her fingertips. The stars, that had previously been flickering like dying lightbulbs, returned to their brilliant glow. Below them, The Emerged was face-up in the waters, floating just enough that their mask and chest weren’t submerged. Like stitches being pulled apart and cut, They were splitting at the seams. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t clean, but thread by thread Xion and Roxas were clipped apart and coming back. 

Naminé’s tears met the ocean like rain, _plip. plip_ , a sad melody at odds with the savage battle on the sand. She watched the very last stars slip away from her fingers and reconnect with the rest of their hearts. The complicated constellations glowed fiercely in the dim, and Naminé lowered her hands, sending them back to their rightful owners. The chains holding them floated off and sank to the bottom.

Xion and Roxas’s eyes pinched, then fluttered open. Their tails slowly wagged below them in the freezing water. The first thing they saw was a sky they never, ever wanted to see again, and Naminé’s tear stained face and beautiful, natural form. They said her name curiously. They knew who she was. _They knew who she was._

Her breath hitched tight when she saw that she had succeeded. She didn’t even realize how relieved she was to know they had kept their memories. That they were still themselves. More fat tears rolled down her pale cheeks and she threw her arms around them with a choked sob. 

“What’s going on?” Roxas asked in bewilderment, “Why are we at the Dark Margin?”

Xion wrapped their arm around her back, tears of their own welling in their eyes. “I thought… we were gone. Forever.”

Roxas went silent as stone as he recalled what could’ve, maybe even _should’ve_ been their last moments. But before he could piece together what happened, Lea’s roar shocked him out of his thoughts. He turned around and placed a steadying hand on Naminé’s back, as did Xion.

His voice was hoarse and small, “What…?” 

Xion shook their head in disbelief, “Is that Axel?”

Naminé tucked her chin against her collarbone, “No. It’s Lea. For real, this time.”

The great beast on shore was a thing to behold. Nine, huge tails swept behind him, untamed grace in every swing of his chakrams. Beautiful, merciless fire danced at his beck and call, searing across the unending waves of Heartless. It was just him and the feral monster that must’ve been Hibiki between them, but their fight was more than just about protecting them. It was vengeance, retribution, and revenge. 

Xion and Roxas shared a glance of mutual determination and kicked themselves out of the ocean. They perched easily on its calm surface and dashed across it. Their keyblades appeared in their hands, unique and themselves once more.

“Hands off!” Roxas shouted to announce their arrival. Xion took the more direct method and slammed their keyblade into a Neoshadow that had leapt at Lea from behind. It's hard shell cracked, then it exploded into a pool of Darkness and shadow. 

“Lea!” They said, fierce and calm in face of the enemy, “It’s going to be okay, now. Roxas and I can take care of this.”

Lea went still when his name off their lips met his ears. His eyes swept across the battlefield and found them both slaying the Heartless left and right. Arcs and spears of Light destroyed every single shadow it touched. Xion bounced around, covering everyone’s blind spots while Roxas demanded the attention of the Heartless, keeping them off their winded and fragile allies. 

Hibiki largely ignored them and continued her assault, but something in Lea suddenly felt hollow. All that energy he got from – _from_

His knees nearly met the black sand, but he kept himself upright and forced himself to keep fighting even though he’d rather keel over and pass out from the physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Had it only been a single night? Had all of this only been a night? 

An image that should’ve been a memory flipped by like a page of a book. A story of a different universe where he was on a snowy hillside, overlooking the sunset with you. And Isa was back in the apartment, resting and not possessed yet. And Roxas and Xion never became The Emerged, not even for a second. 

The picture was so fleeting, and it still left his lungs empty of air.

Then, without warning, the Heartless stopped. They went completely still, listening to something they couldn’t hear, then together, they warped away. The hisses of the Darkness they left behind dug pits in their stomachs. Hibiki was still screaming at them after they were gone, demanding they come back, demanding they die.

Movement from the ocean grabbed their attention. Naminé was coming back to shore with an arm around your body to keep it afloat. When the water became too shallow, she went down to her knees in order to drag it out of the water, her lion’s tail limp behind her. Your body was sopping wet, unlike her, and your winter clothes added to the weight. 

Lea stared long enough for her to get you out of the water’s reach until he finally lost the strength to hold onto his True Form. Shades of fire rolled around him, along with threads of Darkness and Light, and he was back to his demon form, though he could tell there was something different about it, too. He didn’t pay it any attention, however.

A suction-slurp of wet skin, and Hibiki’s Corrupted Form fell away. It wasn’t pleasant to feel or to look at. Her leathery skin hung off of her before twisting back against her flesh as it should, returning to its natural color. Her clothes were ripped in some places and noticeably stretched in others, but she was still decent. She stumbled on the sand and was breathing hard. Obviously, she wasn’t fairing much better than he was. 

Roxas and Xion gaped in horrified silence as Naminé let it down on the rough sand on its back. Their keyblades fell out of their fingers and were gone in flashes of Light. They knew you shouldn’t have been in there. Why were you in there? They knew what it meant – You – _You_

Xion’s hands pressed against their abdomen and they couldn’t breathe. They tried, but the air wouldn’t stay, and they tasted their salty tears in their open mouth. A broken croak left Roxas’s dry throat and his hands clenched at his sides until they shook. His cheeks grew wet. 

“No.” He tried to say and took a step towards your body. “No. Why?” His hands were in his hair, gripping his scalp and pulling at his hair, “They’re not – “ And he stumbled even further towards what used to be you, reaching out with green and gold magic weaving around his fingers.

Naminé got up and put herself between him and the body on the sand, “Don’t.” She warned, “It’s not them.”

Xion came to stand beside their brother, openly weeping. “Why?” They whispered, “Why did they – It wasn’t for us, was it?!”

Naminé’s silence only made it hurt worse.

Hibiki and Lea stood as silent sentries, waiting for something. They didn’t know what. Hibiki hoped you’d move, show some sign of life. Lea knew if that body moved, it wouldn’t be you.

The atmosphere dropped ten degrees. “Get away from it.” Lea heard himself say. When they didn’t move, he forced himself to shout, “Get away from it! It’s not – “ he tried to say your name, but couldn’t “them!”

Finally, the three teenagers hurried to stand behind him. Together, the five of them watched the body. The fingers twitched, coated in black sand. The feet flinched and flexed. The spine shuddered up and down, making your body spasm like a seizure. Then, it stopped, and the body was still. 

Slowly, the body sat up, facing the ocean. It cocked its head, taking in the view, and then carefully stood, finding purchase on the shifting sands. It turned around. The eyes weren’t yours anymore.

The sclera was pitch black and your irises were now a familiar shade of Heartless yellow. They glowed like will-o’-wisps, lanterns of death. The expression on its face was calculating but passive as it took a good long look at each of them individually. Those chilling eyes stared right through them, not unlike how DiZ had seen through you, but it didn’t care about their good deeds. 

Finally, a little smile tilted its lips. The black sclera drained behind their eyeball, and it was white once-again. It took a deep breath through its nose and stretched the kinks out of its neck. When it was done, it finally spoke in a voice that didn’t belong to it, “Hello, little things.”

It felt like lightning shot straight through them all. _Outrage._ This thing wearing your flesh was far too serene for what hid within beneath. A mask of peace and calm. Your face – _Your face didn’t belong to it._ But those eyes weren’t yours, and it didn’t bother hiding it. The eyelids were peeled back as far as they could go and the irises were still that anglerfish yellow.

“Get the _fuck_ out of them!” Roxas snarled, his tail thrashed violently behind him, “They don’t belong to you!” 

It regarded them coolly, “I don’t believe I asked for your worthless opinion, you measly shadow of a boy.” 

A vein appeared on his head, but Naminé pressed her palm against his shoulder, “It’s trying to get under your skin. Don’t let it.”

Its wide eyes slid to her, and it’s smile grew by a fraction, “Oh, please, do continue. I think I can almost hear you, ghostling. Oh, wait, am I looking the right way? I can barely see you.”

The gold of her eyes flashed and her nails bit into his shoulder, but she didn’t rise to its bait. 

Xion had been silent, but their whole body was trembling. Their talons tore through their gloves and into the meat of their palms. But, even without a word being said, it turned its attention to them. 

A little hum lilted from their cold lips, “The puppet that tried and failed to dance off its strings. A shadow of a shadow. Pitiful.” And promptly ignored their existence. 

Xion barred their fangs, "What gives you the right to say that!?" They seethed, unable to keep their temper in check. But Naminé slid her hand into their's, and they bit back their words.

Their tempers were only hampered by the fact that it wore your face. If this was any other enemy, they would’ve snapped and attacked, but it wasn’t. Attacking it would mean bruising and tearing the skin of their friend. And if it attacked back?

The Darkness wasn’t a merciful adversary. 

Their smile only grew when they focused on Lea. It held a knowing, smirking edge to it that made his skin crawl. You never looked at him like that. Like he was a meal to be picked apart tendon by tendon and devoured. “Congratulations, firestarter.” And it brought its hands up and clapped once. The skin was black and the veins throbbed under the skin from the fingers and into the sleeves of the wet jacket. “You’ve got it back. How does it feel? Does it ache? Does it hurt?” The corners of its eyes crinkled when Lea couldn’t so much as breathe, “Knowing you let yet another promise fall through?”

He bared his long fangs and tried to ignore the palpitations in his breast and the wet tears rolling down his cheeks, “You sick _s_ _ack_ _of horse shit._ Stop toying with us!” He tried to make it sound threatening, but his voice cracked. It was a beg. 

“No.” It replied simply and it turned to Hibiki, looking happier every second. “And finally, the only one here that doesn’t have a full heart. Or a full family. Or even full memories.” It cocked its head to the side, waiting expectantly, feeling the rolling boil under her skin, “You’re nothing but broken. A broken little girl with nothing left but – “

Before Lea could stop her, Hibiki was on the Darkness. She grabbed it by its sopping collar and pulled back her fist, _“Why you rotten sack of cockamamy – “_ the rest of the words died in her throat. It was your eyes, and they were full of frightened tears. Her fist was stuck beside her head, unable to fly. 

Once its victory was assured, the yellow returned and the Darkness cooed, “Oh, Hibi. You wouldn’t hurt your only friend, would you?” She gave no verbal response, but the sobs that kicked at her ribs and loosened her grip on them was answer enough. The Darkness hummed pleasantly and raised their hand, as if it was going to caress her cheek, “That’s right, little Hibiki. Your only friend,” Darkness whipped around the black hand and its voice lowered with ripe hunger, _“is DEAD.”_

If it’s blow had struck true, Hibiki would be dead, too. But before its hand could slice her neck, white chains of Light wrapped around its arm. It made no sound as the chains wrapped around them, but the angry shock was plain on the curl of its lip, revealing sharp canines. It immediately began to thrash.

Hibiki fell backwards and landed on the beach. Tears slipped down her cheeks and her lungs kicked and struggled for air. There was no room for denial. No room for hope. _Your only friend is dead._ She hid her face in her hands and watched your body fight against its bindings between her fingers. _Your only friend is dead. Your only friend is dead. Your only friend is dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead._

Naminé held her keyblade in both hands, straining to keep the Darkness in her grasp. The keyblade, all pearly white and elegant whispered,

_I am Oathkeeper_

_You have my friend_

_You will never get away_

She snapped at Roxas and Xion, “Help!”

The initial surprise wore off and they summoned their keyblades, too. More of those blinding chains snaked around the Darkness until it was forced to its knees, bound nice and tight.

It seethed as it glared at them out of the corners of their eyes, “Vile scions of the keyblade. Always managing to worm your way out before the going gets tough. And yet you still pale in comparison to the true heroes. _Maggot-ridden leftovers._ You repulse me.”

Lea stomped up to it, fueled by his protective rage, and wrapped his fingers around the back of its throat, “One more word out of you…”

Suddenly, its voice returned to that serene softness, “Or what, Lea?” It asked in your voice, “What would you do to me?” It batted its eyelashes innocently, “What do you want to do to me, Lea?”

His throat closed and he had to release it before he crushed your – _its_ neck. It felt like ants were crawling all over him and his tongue was swollen behind his grinding teeth. _Not you. It wasn’t you._

It opened its mouth, only for another chain to slip between its lips and gag it. “That’s enough out of you.” Xion growled. 

It sneered at them, then their expression returned to patient passiveness. Watching. Waiting. _Catch and feast._

Everyone was breathing heavily, even though no blows had been traded. The cold was so palpable they could feel it in their gums and teeth. It wasn’t the cold drip, or ice cube, or the winter under the blankets, this was a subzero blizzard and they were naked and stranded in the snow. This was the real deal. And it was wearing your skin.

The question hung in the air: 

Now what?

Do we kill it?

Naminé didn’t dare tear her eyes off of it or lower her keyblade, but answered the unspoken questions, “We’re not going to kill it.”

There should’ve been an argument. They should’ve shouted _What? Why not?_ But they didn’t. Couldn’t. 

There was a hint of smugness in her voice, which was all show for the Darkness, “You said Hibiki was the only one without a whole heart? You’re lying.” Its expression went unnaturally stiff. “But lying’s what you do best, isn’t it?” Then, to the rest of them, “Before Y/N was fully submerged, I released their heart.”

There was a chorus of gasps and two, _“Naminé!”_ s, but then Lea remembered looking out over the ocean. He saw the orb of light rise above your chest and burst. 

There was anger there, yes, and damn if the intensity of it didn’t nearly put him into a panic attack, but there was a thought, too. If his heart found its way back… “Why?”

She lowered her chin resolutely, her glow glinting off her antlers drew the eye, “Hearts don’t just disappear. I have a theory that there’s someplace out there that holds them until they’re ready to… move on, so to speak. Y/N’s heart is strong,” and Lea felt her gaze on him for barely a second, “With any luck, and some help, they’ll find their way back. I’m sure of it.”

The Darkness scoffed at them, but whatever remark it wanted to make was kept silent by its gag. 

“Now.” She took a deep breath and released it slowly, “We very carefully bring it back to Castle Oblivion and put it where it can’t get out or hurt anyone.”

Hibiki’s voice was rough with misery and the barest flicker of hope, “What place?” But Lea had a feeling he knew. The other, unfinished half of their mission at Castle Oblivion. 

“The Chamber of Awakening.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


...

……

………

Pinpricks of light poked through the darkness that had enveloped you. The pitch black bled into a deep blue, endless night sky. Consciousness came slowly to you, and your senses came even slower. Eventually, and it felt like a very long time, you realized you were sitting against cold brick, on cold stone, in an unfamiliar, empty alley.

Your eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks. _Where am I?_ The question echoed, but you had no answer. _Who am I?_

_Who…_

Memories steeped and swirled, paint strokes on water. Murky at first, but clear as the pictures swam to the surface. Memories of your early childhood, then as you grew up. A period of grayscale, of loneliness, of depression you had tried in vain to ignore. Memories of the last few months. Their colors were brighter, the lines were crisper, and they swept away the years of isolation, but didn’t drown them. And then, rapid fire, what could’ve only been about twelve hours - worth shot past you in a blur of clarity. Their names tripped over your tongue.

_Isa. Naminé. Roxas. Xion. Hibiki. Lea._

You sat up like you’d been electrocuted, and your head spun. You groaned and fell back against the brick and blinked slowly. You pressed your hand to rub against your eyes, and when you saw it, you felt your stomach drop.

You were semi-translucent. There was an outline and a tinted glow, and inside your skin were dots of light – _stars._

The point of weapon over your chest. Naminé standing over your drowning body. A flash of light before the Darkness swallowed you. 

“Oh, my.” You heard a curious voice say, “What are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mehehehehehehehheheheheheheehehehehe  
> Thanks for reading guys! And /please/ keep reading i promise you its worth it !!  
> Please stay safe out there everyone!! Love y'all!


	12. The Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of selfless selfishness.  
> Now in debt to a world that holds IOUs in a tight fist, what will you all do now?  
> What can you do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks honey-ishtar for looking over Hibi's part!  
> I AM SO SORRY!!! IM SORRY!! Honey and I have been having A Hard Time of it lately, and we've been taking a little break, but I'm back! Sorry about the delay! It's here now!
> 
> TW: Body horror

You gasped and turned your head towards the voice, only to find nothing was there. After a second of thinking you had been hearing things, a ball of light fluttered down from the sky, accompanied by the sound of children’s laughter. You scooched away, then it stopped to hover at the mouth of the alley. Then, _poof,_ in a burst of bright fireworks, a tiny creature dropped, stumbled, and stood where it had been.

It was very cute and round, it looked like a cat plush come to life with a little pouch hanging off its neck and a cape. Its blue, threaded eyes blinked at you, “Wow, you really are a human!”

“Uh.” You used the brick wall as leverage and got up. Your legs trembled like a fawn’s, but found their strength quickly, “Yeah, but who are you? And,” You tried to peak around the lip of the alley, “where am I?” 

The cute and cuddly creature put his hands on his hips, “I’m Chirithy, and you are in Traverse Town.” He stepped out of the way so you could walk out. You tried not to look at your hands on the bricks or down at your feet. Seeing the ground through your toes gave you vertigo in a very, very bad way. It also brought to your attention that you were naked, but it didn’t feel like a big deal to you. You didn’t _feel_ naked.

Outside the alley, there was a town square. A fountain was on the far left, and up the stairs were shops decorated in neon. It felt like there should have been people bustling along in the night, finishing their day trip and getting ready to go home, but the place was deserted. It was just you and Chirithy.

“So,” He said, bouncing back into your line of sight, “how’d you get here?”

Your mind was, at best, T.V. static, so you replied, “What do you mean?”

“Here.” He pointed at the ground beneath your feet, “In Traverse Town. You’re the first human heart that’s ever come here before.”

You could only stare. “Excuse me?”

He shook his head, “Seems you’re just as lost as me, then.”

“Well, maybe – I don’t know.” You squeezed your eyes tight then opened them again, “What _is_ this place? What are you talking about – about hearts?”

His ears lowered and all the childish wonder fell away forlornly, “Oh.” Then he shook himself out of it and waved a stubby paw around you, “Like I said, this is Traverse Town. This is where angels’ hearts come when they die – or been given up. This is the waypoint between there – “ He pointed up towards his left, at something past the sky, then to his right, “and there, Earth. Where they’ll heal, and maybe even be reborn.”

It took all of two seconds before you lost all sensation in your knees and you fell backwards. Before you could make an unfortunate meeting with the ground, two unbelievably soft, velour paws caught your head. Chirithy’s plush face took up your entire vision.

“Are you okay?”

“M’ fine.” You shuddered, “M’ fine. Definitely fine.” You took a deep breath, then made a sound like a tea kettle.

His ears flicked up, “Going by the sound you’re making, I don’t think you are.”

You made a strained sound in the back of your throat, “Just. A lot to absorb. Been a long night.” Any humor you had left drained right out of you with your next revelation, “Am I dead?” You focused on his eyes, “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

His shoulders drooped and he nodded slowly, “Yes. That, or your heart was released from your body, although there’s not a lot of distinction between the two. You still end up here.”

“Oh.” You said weakly.

As you made no move to get up, Chirithy settled down and put your head on his lap and gently patted your hair out of your face. Meanwhile, your mind was a myriad of chaos that held an empty echo. _Dead. I’m dead._ As much as you were at peace with it in your _final_ moments, now that you were here… Confusing. The word you were looking for was confusing. And upsetting. And distressing. And _wow_ , this was not exactly how you imagined going out and not how you imagined what came after was like. And, wow, the sky was big and full of stars, or actually, hearts. Naminé could probably tell you who they were and – 

_You were never going to see them again._

He was quiet for a little while, letting you breathe, but as if he could sense your panic, he asked a question, “Do you know how you ended up here?”

You were drawn out of your tears, and they floated up towards the night sky like drops of honeyed light. “Huh?”

He patted your forehead consolingly, “This place isn’t for humans. When humans die, they go up there.” He pointed at the night sky. It was so clear, not even your dreams with Naminé were this clear, this beautiful. You could see backsplashes of nebulas, and even the tiniest stars, those farthest away, burned so brightly. “Where they leave their brushstroke on the starry sky. Their signature, proof that says: I was here, I was alive.” His paw returned to your hair, “Speaking of, I never got your name.”

You told him, and it felt like you were whispering to every star in the sky: _I was here. I was alive._ He repeated it with quiet contemplation. “Hmm. Oh! Excuse me.” He shimmied out from underneath your head and you decided you might as well sit up. He stood in front of you and studied your form. His eyes were following something within you, and you realized it was the lines of your constellation. 

“What are you doing?” You asked quietly.

“There are some exceptions to the rule.” He explained, “Royalty of Heart, for an example. These humans are direct descendants of the angels that fell to Earth after The Great Keyblade War, without losing their hearts and being reborn again human.” You felt like swooning again. _So, the rebirth theory is true._ “So, their hearts are much stronger than a normal human’s. I’ve had a few drop in before, but it’s been so long…” He shook his head, “Nope. Not that.” But he only narrowed his eyes more and studied you again.

You shifted on the stone, “If it’s not that, than what?”

He glanced at your face for a second and tapped his paw to his chin, “You remember what I said about signatures?”

“Yeah?”

He nodded as if that was all the explanation you needed, then waddled over and deliberately tapped your brightest star, the one right where your heart would be. There was a flooding sensation, like you were bathing in sunlight. The echoes of somebody who had held your heart and helped you heal. 

“Ayup! And there it is!” Chirithy said, eyes smiling.

You held your hands to your chest and the tears threatened to spill over again, “Lea.”

“Mhm! Seems being tied to that angel’s heart for so long made some of that Light and power rub off on you.” He had no mouth, but you could tell he was smiling wistfully, for your sake, “It’s not every day you find a heart that compliments your own so well. I can tell he was very happy with you as his partner.”

That last few seconds scrolled through your mind again. The _other._ The _other_ was _Lea._ You only figured it out at the very end. That was when you heard and felt his voice, his desperation, his – 

_“I’ll bring you back! I’ll always be there to bring you back!”_

A low sob retched through your throat and your head fell heavy in your hands. “Oh,” Your chest heaved, _“Lea.”_ The tears rained down heavy, and fell up in dewdrops of despair. Maybe some joy. He was whole, now. He was whole. _But if only you’d known._

In that moment, you felt utterly alone. You hadn’t realized how much you depended on the _other_ – Lea’s heart for companionship. How much you listened to the flutter of his heartbeat beside your own. How much you cherished him. Cherished _all_ of them. And now you were alone. 

“I’m never going to see them again.” A broken noise left your throat, “I’m never going to see them again!” 

You felt a little paw touch your elbow, but Chirithy didn’t say anything. He sidled up beside you and leaned his head on your arm. The two of you were there for a long time, listening to nothing but your sobs in the endless night.

* * *

Lea gasped awake. His heart was racing and his brow was damp with cold sweat. It felt like he just had the worst nightmare, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was. That was probably for the best, right?

After his heart stopped feeling like it was going to pop right out of his chest, he fell back on his bed and closed his eyes. When his head hit his pillow, he turned on his side, and his hand searching the other side of the bed, only to find no one was there. He opened his eyes again to see the comforter was a mess. The clean sheets were still a little warm under his palm. Outside the window, the morning was already well underway. He had slept in late again.

With a hum, he sat up and stretched to the ceiling, then got out of bed. He ignored getting out of his sleep shirt and boxers and went right out of the room. The teenagers would be at school and if Isa wasn’t at work, he’d be in bed like the night owl he was. He was worse about sleeping in than Lea was.

Out in the living room, he found who he was looking for. You were sitting in the armchair, all cozied up with a mug of something warm in your hands and looking out of the window with a small smile.

“Morning.” He yawned, walking towards you.

You picked your head up and your smile grew, “Morning. Nice bedhead.”

He cracked a grin and ran a hand through his hair, either to tidy it or make it messier, it didn’t really matter. He walked around the back of the armchair and leaned over it, settling his chin on your head and circling his arms around your shoulders. Your hand reached up and brushed against his chin. It was cold. He shivered and nuzzled into your palm. Goosebumps rolled up his arms and down his neck.

“Something wrong?” You asked.

He sighed into your hand, his own came to cup it to his face. “Had a nightmare.”

Your hair shifted under his chin; you were trying to look at his expression, “What about?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know.” His eyes focused on a swirling line on the hardwood floor, “I can’t remember. But it…” His mouth suddenly went dry, “It was bad.” 

He closed his eyes, and it was dark. It pulled at him and his heart thumped. His eyes flew open with a sharp gasp. Your arm reached out to put your steaming mug on the coffee table and he heard the shift of fabric. You had turned around in your chair and your hands came to rest on his shoulders, near his neck. His hands came to cup the back of your head, but he didn’t look down to see your face.

“You don’t remember anything?”

He tried to swallow, but something was stuck in his throat, “No… Nothing. But it feels like…” His stomach had slowly been turning sour and tears pricked at his eyes, “something happened. Something terrible.”

“Oh, Lea,” Your voice whispered, “something did.”

His eyes flew down to you, and to his horror, your eyes were black and yellow. He threw himself away from you, but you were gone anyway. The living room was gone. Everything was gone. All that was left was black, an unending darkness. And a feeling. An emotion. Deep, ugly. Alone. Despair. Guilt. Regret.

“Oh, Lea, Lea, Lea.” Your voice said, but it wasn’t you. It was something else. It was just using your voice like a puppet. “Was it a good dream? Did you like it?”

The tears were coming and they couldn’t stop. His heart thundered in his chest, and the old/new sensations were still so frightening. He was wrong. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was real, and he was remembering. 

“How are you sleeping so easy?” It asked, its breath tickled his ear and he spun on his heels, only there was nothing there. “After everything that happened? After everything you’ve done?”

He tried to reply with some snappy comeback, that’s how Axel would react, but his voice wasn’t coming to him. His lungs burned, the cold sweat returned, and he couldn’t ignore how his hands were shaking. 

Then, a figure appeared in the distance, and he couldn’t resist the draw he felt towards it. He knew that silhouette. He knew it. 

“You ran. You lied. You used.” And it said it so matter-of-factly it made his heart crumple. The voice was everywhere, but it wasn’t loud. It didn’t need to be. “All you ever do is hurt people, Lea.”

He tried to ignore it, _That’s not true._ But memories that begged to differ rose up and blotted his vision. Still, he ran to you. His one saving grace. The one person who might understand. The one person he knew almost as well as he knew himself.

Getting to you was easier than he thought it would be. You were turned away from him, and he gently took you by the shoulder and turned you around, but before he could say he was sorry, he realized something was very wrong.

“You used me, Lea.” You said, eyes full of tears and your face contorted into pained betrayal. “From the very start, you only wanted me around because you could use me.”

His hands squeezed the fabric of your jacket, “No! No, I – “

Then, his first memories of you shut his mouth tight. The first time you met, you had helped Roxas and Xion, and all he saw was a possible enemy. The second time, you helped him after he got black-out drunk on the street, and he was an asshole to you for it. The third time, all he saw was a good fuck. The fourth time, he only asked you to stay in touch because he could use somebody, just in case. 

“No…” He whispered, recoiling at his own actions, “No, I never meant – You’re one of the most important people to me! You’ve got to know that!”

You lowered your chin, fixing him with a stare that said: _I know better than to believe a liar._ “Only after I proved I could be useful. And even if what you’re saying is true, all you’ve ever done is lie to me. All those things you told me about yourself was a lie. I only knew the real you hours before you let me die.”

That memory hit him so hard his knees nearly gave out. He saw you sink into the Darkness. He saw you die. _He let you die._

“Are you happy?” You asked quietly, on the verge of dissolving into sobs, “That I was useful until the very end? I saved Roxas and Xion. It was an equal payoff, I think.”

 _“No. No. No. No. No.”_ He kept whispering under his breath as the tears rolled down his cheeks. _Deny it. Deny it. It didn’t happen. I didn’t use you. I didn’t want to lie. I didn’t want you to die. It wasn’t an equal payoff because I_ need _you._

“Face it.” Your skin began to melt off your face, the muscle underneath turned a rotten purple. Your eyes popped like water balloons and slid down your cheeks. The obsidian skeleton underneath cracked and crumbled, “All you do is hurt people.” And then you were dust and gone. Your clothes fell in a molded heap at his feet.

All was still. All was silent. Then, in front of him, a yellow eye appeared and opened. Its pinprick pupil glared down at him accusingly, closed, and opened again. It was now a window into a moment in time. It was his outburst in Castle Oblivion, him shouting at Naminé when all she was doing was helping. She didn’t have to help. 

He watched his face turn ugly and he saw her shrinking away. _“That’s it? How the hell are we supposed to find Isa’s heart? What kind of plan is that?! Do you even know where angel’s hearts end up?”_

Then, another eye appeared. _“It was me. I should – should’ve been more careful.”_

And another opened. He used you. _“I understand if you’re not interested, got the message loud and clear, but we don’t have a lot of friends here. And, if something were to ever happen to me…” “Nothing, really. Just a fuck.”_ And spat in your face when all you had ever done was help. _“I’m fine. You don’t have to do me any favors.”_

He ignored their problems. _“We’re not going to throw ourselves into that mess just so Xehanort and his cronies can find us!” “We are_ not _going there!” “I can handle this!”_

He selfishly lied to every person he’d ever cared about. _“We were poor growing up. And they were home-schooled.” “Sorry, but I don’t know him.” “Only a little.”_

He also fell for a lie, and ruined his entire life. _Master Eraqus. Isa. Ienzo. Terra. Ventus. Scala ad Caelum up in flames. Falling below the clouds into half a life._

 _“I believe in you, Lea. Don’t ever forget.”_ Aqua’s face smiling at him as she mussed his hair affectionately. Aqua standing in the smoldering wreckage of the temple, _“I want to believe you’ll make the right choice. But even though you haven’t, I’ll be there to bring you back home.”_ The tears in her eyes and pained shock on her face, _“Lea – Lea, I’m so sorry – “_ A head of blue hair and the winter sun revealing a sea-blue halo in a crowded street.

Him, running away like the coward he was. 

And the answer was, none of it was worth it.

That voice returned, calm with pity, “Oh, dear. So many mistakes. So many things you’ve done wrong.” A shadow of a boot stepped into his line of sight. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen to his knees. “How do you do it? Telling lies like second-nature? Ruining lives of innocents that should have nothing to do with you, and even your relationships with the people closest to you? How do you live only thinking about yourself?”

The windows closed, and then split into sharp-toothed grins. Yellow drool dripped down their black lips. 

“Look at me, Lea.” And he tilted his head up, helpless to heed its call. What he saw made him want to curl up and die. A shadow you, all darkness and yellow eyes and a toothy grin. As it spoke, more eyes and little mouths blinked open across its face, “Karma’s big on collecting debts. And do you know who her biggest provider is?” He didn’t answer and it shook its head knowingly, “Me. The Darkness and consequence that settle in the minds and actions of people like you. People like you, who sow weeds in a garden that suck the life out of everything around it. People like you must reap what they sow. And low and behold,” It spread its arms, showing off its new form and all its ugly eyes and hungry mouths, “here I am.

“Make no mistake, it was you who brought this upon yourself. It’s too bad the person most precious to you had to pay for your mistakes. The person who helped heal your heart after you so callously threw it away, and then helped the rest of you without asking for a single thing in return.” 

It knelt before him with its chin on its hand. All its eyes were pinned on him, all mouths opened like baby birds expecting their next meal. “But I really must thank you for handing me what I have sought for so long. I now have a puppet to play with. It may be a little broken.” And it touched its chest, revealing a heart-shaped hole, “But it’ll do. I am in complete control.” 

A brief glimmer of hope. _Their heart is strong. They’ll find their way back._

Its smile only grew, “Hearts are weak.” It said, knowing his every thought, “They give in to me all the time. How do you think I grew? And Y/N’s heart,” It _tsked_ , “so very weak. Part of you must remember what it was like in there. That bleak isolation. The longing for something they never knew. Looking down at a world that’s doing just fine without them and would continue doing well after throwing themself off the clocktower. There’s no one outside your circle that will even care that they’re gone.” It stood again, leering down at him with those terrible, glowing eyes, “I was growing within them long before your heart woke up. I know them more intimately than you could ever hope to.”

His voice finally came to him. It hurt to talk, like glass in his throat, “Shut up. You don’t know them.”

“Know them?” It said, “Have you forgotten?” The greedy maws opened and the eyes went wide with barely-contained madness, “I _am_ them.”

Lea gasped awake. His cheek was pressed against cold tile, his arm was pinned underneath him awkwardly and his wings were stuck out and full of pins and needles. Ah. Right. He fell asleep outside the Chamber of Awakening and fell over and got drool all over the clean white tiles. 

And now that he was awake, he was stuck remembering everything that happened in the silence of the halls.

The walk back to Castle Oblivion was hard. Not only because they were all exhausted to their bones, but because of the company, or lack thereof. Naminé, Roxas, and Xion surrounded your body on all sides, their keyblades trained on it as the chains sprouting out of them held it above the ground. Your body didn’t fight, didn’t so much as move, but not because it was dead, but because of what inhabited it was patient. 

The Darkness wasn’t able to pick at scabs that covered deep wounds with a gag in its mouth, but the freezing temperatures and memories that they would rather leave forgotten kept resurfacing. No one said a word about it, but they all understood that the Darkness was capable of reminding them of what it was without words. 

It felt like forever until they found themselves at the doorstep of Castle Oblivion. With Naminé’s hands tied, Lea stepped up and knocked on the door. It opened after a moment and DiZ stood before them. He stared at the body hanging over their heads, held back by chains of Light, not with surprise but with hate.

“Foolish human. Look at what your sacrifice has brought.” He said with great pity.

“We need to bring them to the Chamber of Awakening.” Naminé said as sweat began to wet her brow, “It’s the only place the Darkness can’t escape.”

DiZ did not look away from the abomination before him, “You are asking much of me, Naminé. To let a host to the Darkness into my Realm is to defile it. What do you intend to do with it? There is no saving your friend.”

She grit her teeth, “I freed their heart before the Darkness could corrupt it. It’s out there, somewhere, and I’ll help them find their way back. I can do it!” _Y/N said they believe in me. It’s time I prove their trust wasn’t misplaced._ “Just give me a chance!”

A heavy sigh left him, “I know you are powerful, Naminé, but this…”

“Please!” Tears of frustration were finally rolling down her cheeks, “Give me a chance to set this right! I can do it! Please!”

He stared into the Darkness’s yellow eyes, knowing its intentions to be set free onto the world. Make itself stronger by fueling the darkness in people’s hearts while it feeds on what’s left of your body until it is a husk. But in the Chamber of Awakening, its influence would be vastly trimmed down, and once those doors were closed, it wasn’t likely to break out. But he knew it would try, knew it eventually could, and he knew it would use what power it had to hurt anyone and everyone it could.

But telling Naminé no would break her heart. She had enough heartbreak already. So, he relented, “I will allow it. But should it prove to be more than a handful, I will have no choice but to eliminate it.”

The Darkness narrowed its eyes at him. There was a tug on his incredible heart, and memories of isolation on its shores came to him. He glared back and waved them away. “The sooner we get it locked away, the better. Follow me.”

He summoned his extra appendages, extensions of his will, and they wrapped around the Darkness. However, he told the keyblade bearers not to let it go. And, despite their lack of success to find the Chamber during Lea’s first visit, DiZ merely opened the door from the foyer and they were in a long hallway. At the end of the hallway was a set of double doors that were nearly indistinguishable from the rest of the stone. The only thing that gave it away was the barest shadow of engravings.

Despite how much they only wanted to rest, Lea and Hibiki followed them to the door, but that was as far as DiZ would let them. He and the keyblade wielders entered and the door shut behind them. They stood there, silently waiting, and after some time the doors opened again and they filed out. 

Though it was only for a moment, they saw your body sitting on a throne, tied up snug in chains of Light. On the walls were patterns of chains that pulsed steadily. Its eyes were open and staring at their backs, then the doors closed and locked it in.

Lea didn’t remember much after that. It was a grief and exhaustion laden haze. There were flashes. Him hugging Roxas and Xion tighter than he ever had before and the three of them messily sobbing on each other, because he finally remembered how to. Seeing the pod that Isa was being held in, like a closed lotus bud. Did he apologize to Naminé? He thought he might have, but maybe not. He and Hibiki didn’t say a word to each other, couldn’t even look at each other. It was a step from their bickering and constant glares, but he couldn’t tell in which direction. 

Staring at the door to the Chamber of Awakening and feeling so alone it brought him to his knees. His heart remembered being beside you, you were never apart in all those years. Asleep, yes, to heal. But then he woke up, and you were there. Always there. Even for his heartless body. 

He knew what it meant, but he couldn’t face it, couldn’t think on it. What use was that when you weren’t there anymore anyway? 

He was so lucky to have known you, and you were so unlucky to have known him. That was the thought he fell asleep to, leaning against the wall beside the doors. And that was where he woke up.

He pushed himself back up and his head hit the wall. His vision blurred as he stared down the hall, all the whites and grays mixed together like paint on water. More tears spilled down his cheeks and fell into his lap. Seemed like ever since he got his heart back all he could do was cry. There was a lot to cry about, not just that single night, either. Mistakes and trauma upon trauma and mistakes were there to wrench his heart dry of tears. 

For the first time in many millennia, he brought his knees to his chest and hid his face in his arms. His wings cocooned around him like a shield, but it wasn’t working. There was the soft rustle of feathers, but he didn’t pick up his head. 

Yeah, his wings were feathered again, yay. Iridescent in cascades of gold, orange, yellow, and scarlet. And in the right light, they became the same blue as the core of a flame. They were longer than the ones he had as an angel, less thick; more optimized for speed than soaring. 

His horns were still there, and so were his long, sharp fangs. He could tell by pressing his tongue against his teeth and by the familiar weight on his head. He hadn’t checked if his eyes had changed at all, but all these little facts passed over him with passive apathy. Proof he got his heart back. Proof he had power over Light and Dark. Yay. Hooray. How great for him. 

He was relieved and happy that they got Roxas and Xion back, alive and apart and whole. He would be eternally grateful to Naminé for the rest of his life. He dimly remembered sticking to them like glue for those first however many hours, had waited until they fell asleep before even considering leaving their sides. After visiting Isa, he had tried to sleep in the bedroom DiZ had offered, but sleep alluded him. There was just the feeling of something missing, that there should be someone in that bed with him. Before he knew it, his feet picked him up and brought him to the Chamber, and that was where he finally found sleep. And a bittersweet dream. A devastating nightmare. 

He couldn’t really tell if it was a nightmare of his own making or if the Darkness had exerted what influence it could over him. He didn’t know which one was worse, but those words and memories kept echoing between his ears. This was a hell of his own making. 

Part of him wanted to point out that it could have turned out worse. Roxas and Xion might not have survived. The Darkness could have figured out a way to get inside them or Naminé. Hibiki might have died. He might have died. They all could have died. _You were lucky,_ that small voice tried to tell him, _We’re lucky we only lost one._

But that wasn’t fair, was it? How could even that small part of him see your life as a necessary casualty. How cruel. How selfish. _All you do is hurt people._

__

“Lea?”

He flinched out of his thoughts, and his wings parted involuntarily. In front of him stood Xion. They were still in their Natural Form. Their tail hung limply behind them and their eyes were soft, sad, and knowing. Slowly, they crouched before him, and suddenly they reminded him so strongly of his sister he nearly croaked. 

“Do you need some company?” They asked. 

He couldn’t find his voice, and so he simply opened his wings, and they crawled partially into his lap and gave him a hug around the middle. He hadn’t stopped crying, he realized, and he hid his face in their hair and wrapped his arms around them tight. It didn’t take him long to realize they were crying, too.

They hiccupped against his chest, “They’ll come back.” They whispered, trying to convince themself just as much as him. “They’ll come back.”

 _Don’t make promises you can’t keep,_ But the words couldn’t make it past his throat. 

* * *

Xion couldn’t be alone. Being alone meant quiet, and quiet meant ruminating, and ruminating hurt. They did sleep, and they slept for a while, but when they woke up, they found they didn’t want to be awake. They’d rather be unaware of the truth in dreamless sleep. In their sleep, they were home, and you were alive. 

But their mind was awake, and it wouldn’t let them rest. They didn’t want to think. They didn’t want to know. So, they got out of bed. 

First, they went to Roxas’s room, but rethought that decision. Roxas sometimes liked to be alone, especially when he was upset. He didn’t like anyone seeing him like that, not even Xion. Especially Xion. 

So, they walked past his door and continued on. They walked the lonely halls, trying to think of anything else but the memories. Naminé might – no, she needed to focus, and remembering why she needed to focus made their entire body shudder and their eyes burn with unshed tears. 

That left Lea. And Lea probably needed somebody right now, just as much as they did. They didn’t know where his room was, but they had a feeling he wasn’t there anyway. 

The Chamber of Awakening wasn’t meant to be found, not if DiZ didn’t want it to be, but he must have begrudgingly allowed them in. All they had to do was think about it, and they were drawn to a random door that might not have been there before. They opened the door, and there was the long hallway and the hidden doors at the very end, and beside those doors was Lea.

His new wings hid him from sight, and the feathers still dazzled Xion, and they allowed themself to stare just for a few moments before approaching. Their footfalls were silent on the floor, and when they stood before him and said his true name, he was startled. 

His gold irises were thin slits of distress and his eyes were bloodshot with fat tears that were still rolling down his face. They asked if he needed company, and his wings unfurled and he dropped his knees. They settled around him and pressed their ear to his chest. 

His heart beat strongly, but quickly. The details on how he got it back was still fuzzy, but they knew it had something to do with you. 

You. Your name. Your voice. Your heartbeat. The Darkness telling them - _No. Won’t think. Can’t think._

They knew why he was crying. They knew he was missing you something awful. They knew how he had slowly come to rely on you, like you, and how he let you in. How much he needed you. It wasn’t hard to piece together.

 _I miss them._ They tried to push the thoughts back down, but they resurfaced no matter how much they tried _. I miss them so much. I need you, too. I love you. Please, please come back home, please!_

They began to weep into his chest, searching for solace in his warmth and the knowledge that he was still here, but it wasn’t enough. There was a hole, now. A deep hole, an unfillable hole. Knowing that the others were okay was good, knowing that there was a chance was good, but not enough to ignore it. Because you weren’t there anymore. Because they couldn’t hear your voice, couldn’t see your smile, couldn’t hold your hand. Because you were gone.

“They’ll come back.” They tried to convince themself, “They’ll come back.”

They were brought back to their last moments in the snow, seconds from losing themself and becoming The Emerged with Roxas. They remembered how they had come to that decision. That if it was just themself to die, they would’ve done so. Crystalize in memory and fade. If it was between you and them, if they could trade places with you, they would do so in a heartbeat. The world could go on without knowing Xion, but their world couldn’t go on without you. 

You let yourself die to save them. You shouldn’t have, but you did, and there was no undoing it. Time and reality weren’t merciful like that. 

For the time being, all they could do was hold on to one of the few people they had left. Hold on tight, because who knew who could disappear next. 

* * *

Roxas hadn’t left his room all day. He sat on top of his sheets while hugging his knees tucked up to his chin. 

He was happy he and Xion were alive. When he resurfaced from that vast _nothing_ where nothing existed but misery and darkness, he was confused, but so very relieved. His wish came true. He was alive. Xion was alive. And everyone had survived the battle against Xigbar and Xemnas, more or less. 

The thought of you there at the Dark Margin had crossed his mind, but was swiftly dismissed. No one would have been stupid enough to bring you there, right? But then he saw Naminé drag your corpse out of the Darkness, and nothing made sense, least of all, the undeniable fact that you were dead. 

The denial was still rolling through his heart and mind. He still wanted to believe that that thing in the Chamber of Awakening was just some embodiment of the Darkness that just so happened to take your shape to fuck with their heads, but he knew it wasn’t true. No one told them why they died, but he knew why. It was to save him and Xion. Naminé’s silence was all the honesty he needed.

Every several minutes, just long enough for that part of him that held on to denial to create some sort of conspiracy theory, the reality would set back in, and bring with it the weight of the world. You were dead. You died for them, and his quiet sobs would renew stronger than before.

Mortal death and demon death weren’t so different that he didn’t understand. Demons may take a lot more punches than a human in order to cark it, and so far, none of them had, but what happens when it does is still the same. The flesh dies, the heart goes on, and they don’t return. To him, it was a horror story, though most of the demons back in The Castle that Never Was always mentioned it with a devil-may-care attitude. 

_What will happen when I die?_ He wondered. _That won’t be for a long time._ A voice answered. _But it might not._ He said. _That’s true._ It would say. _I don’t want to die._ He vowed. _Death is inevitable for all things._ The voice told him.

The first time he really thought about death was when he thought Axel – _Lea_ had died in Castle Oblivion, and it tore him up inside. The thought of him being gone forever hurt the first flickering lights of his heart. But he hadn’t died, and when he returned, Roxas was relieved that he had been wrong. 

Second time, Xion had gone missing. He would think he would know if they were dead, but the thought still whispered to him when he wasn’t distracted. When they found them on the beach, passed out under the papou tree, he really thought they were dead. The rage set in fast, but they were alive and that’s as far as it went.

Third time, it was just that very morning. Technically, it wasn’t really dying, but it was as good as. And as much as he didn’t want to, he understood why he had to. He accepted it with bitter resignation, but even that death wasn’t forever.

Mortal deaths are. 

He kept trying to remind himself that Naminé had performed miracles before, she had done one not a full day before by saving them, but the odds weren’t in their favor. When humans go, they’re gone forever. And if by some chance your heart does find its way back as she believes it will, it’ll have to fight off the squatter in your body: The Darkness. 

His claws bit into his skin through his shirt. He knew the Darkness, and he hated it just as much as it hated him. Before all of this, he had no opinion one way or the other, but now… A low growl rumbled out of his throat as he remembered those cruel words it had dismissively thrown at him. It knew how to hurt him. It knew how to hurt all of them.

 _I am not Sora’s shadow._ He had long told himself. 

What hurt worse was that it had used your voice. The voice that had cared, the voice that had taught, the voice that had encouraged, the voice that sometimes admonished. Your kindness still echoed in the silence. Your final kindness was the reason he was there to remember them at all. You would never say such horrible things to them. Never. 

Did he ever tell you how much he cared? If not, if you came back, he would. He would tell you. He would thank you. And he would say he was sorry. He would tell you he loves you and he would ask you to never leave again. Because you belonged with them. You belonged. And you were gone. _And he just couldn’t stand it._

A miserable whine rose out of his throat and he tucked his face into his knees to muffle it. “Please come back.” He wept, “Please, come back.”

* * *

Hibiki hadn’t slept a wink. She sat huddled in the corner of her room, trying to breathe, but could only manage quick, painful gasps. The skin on her wrists were scratched raw, some shallow cuts oozed warm blood onto the cool, white floor. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about it. She wanted to stop thinking about it. About how you had died. About how she promised she’d protect you. About how she failed. About how she might never ever see you again. 

_I promised._ Her eyes ached with how long and how hard she had been crying. _I promised I’d be your friend and I’d protect you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it, Y/N, and I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry!_

She never really realized how much you meant to her before. It started off small. Simple gratitude for letting her broke ass stay in your apartment until she had enough munny to move on. Then, she made an effort to repay you, and you had accepted it with surprise and wonder, and it made her broken heart hurt. And you made an effort in turn, and before she knew it, you were friends. Best friends, even. 

Even months later, you always seemed so surprised that she wanted to spend time with you, that she wanted to be your friend. You shouldn’t have been surprised, because becoming your friend was one of the only good things she had left. 

And now. Now. Now you were gone. And you might never come back. And it was her fault. Because she couldn’t stop you from being a hero. Couldn’t stop you from sacrificing yourself. She didn’t think you’d ever be so stupid to do that. 

She was alone now. Alone. Mama was far away, papa was nowhere at all, and you were dead. She had no one. No one. 

_Please, come back._ And another long wail flew from her throat, then cracked and dissolved. Her voice was a step from dying, and she wanted to scream until it was gone forever. But there was no strength left in her, no resolve.

Her little, ruined heart was fracturing like splintered glass. If nothing was done, it would break altogether. That girl, Naminé’s words played through her head. _“Hearts are very, very fragile.”_ And hers’ was more fragile than most, it wasn’t even whole to begin with, as the parasite in your body had so cruelly pointed out. 

The fact that she had met who was, essentially, her great-something grandfather that morning hardly mattered to her. It would have to be something she would think on later, if she had a later. What she did know was that she hated him. That he had the audacity to bring her into this world simply to use her and anyone else like her. And if he didn’t need her, she was useless and discarded, left to fend for herself in a world that she didn’t belong in. 

_I want mama._ She thought she felt her warm arms around her. _I want papa._ She thought she heard someone call her name. _I need somebody, anybody._ She thought she saw the shadow of you pass across the crack under her door. 

But she was alone. 

* * *

Naminé sat in her study, staring at the blank sketchbook in her hands. She had maybe a few hours of sleep that late morning. It was probably close to evening on Earth, but it was always impossible to tell in Castle Oblivion. Time simply didn’t exist there in a way that mattered. 

DiZ had knocked on the door a while ago and left her a mug of warm tea, but she could only stomach two sips. It rolled at every little intrusion. The tea was left cooling on the table.

The page was still blank.

Who did she start with first? Who would she try to draw out and bring back? Both matters were pressing in different ways. But who was to say this idea of hers would even work? She had never tried to bring a heart back before. It was always tangible, nearby if not in front of her, but this… 

She remembered the last time you held her, _“You can do this. I believe in you. I trust you.”_ And you said it with such conviction for what she thought was a dream. 

_How can you trust me?_ She thought bitterly, _You don’t know what I’ve done. Who I’ve hurt._

Oh, how many questions she had for you. How were you real? For starters. But she had a guess, and that guess had been correct. Then, she would ask everything about you, and rejoice that you weren’t just a companion dreamt up by a lonely girl.

She wanted to ask her questions. She wanted you there so she could. She wanted it in her very marrow. _Please, come back. I’m going to call for you. I’m going to find you._ Tears dripped down her nose and hit the paper. _I’m going to bring you home, then we’re going to talk to each other, and I’ll finally admit you aren’t a dream to your face. And I’ll tell you thank you._ Her breath hitched and more rain stained the page. _And I’ll tell you I love you for all the times you treated me kindly. And you’ll be there to hear it. I promise I’m going to bring you back._

And just like that, she reached for a paintbrush and brought it to the damp page. A memory of a dream. The Final World and all its beauty came to life in shades of dark blue, white paint followed to create the stars, and the reflection underneath that your silhouettes couldn’t touch. It was you, and it was her, sitting under those millions of hearts, your backs to the viewer. Her hand was raised, tracing a heartline, and you watched with curious interest. 

She stared at the page and waited. And waited. There was supposed to be a feeling, the beginnings of a bridge. It's hard to describe. It was a steadying focus that would grow with each little piece she could pry out. When she had first done it with Sora, had drawn him and his two friends on the beach, it had surprised her. There were more pictures needed to solidify the connection, but it was still there. This… 

With a stuttering sigh, she put her forehead in her hand. There might be _something_. A little stir, but she couldn’t decide if it was real or if it was her mind making up something that wasn’t there. 

_You have to try._ A voice reminded her, _You have to set this right. For them._

She carefully tore out the picture, set it aside, and started another.

* * *

The Darkness sat back on the throne as best as it could all wrapped up in those insufferable chains. The Light itched where it touched its skin, and its jaw was aching with the links in its mouth, effectively gagging it. Annoyances at best. All chains crumble in rust eventually, all things die. It was inevitable, as was itself. 

Ah, sweet suffering. Even locked within this wretched prison, it could feel it, smell it, practically taste it. Their bitter, salty tears danced deliciously on its tongue. What delicacies they would be when they die to the hands they so love. Even outside, _finally outside,_ it could feel its power grow with every mortal death. At the hands of its minions, at the hands of others, at the hands of fate and time and illness, the darkness in their hearts would find their way to the Dark Margin.

That firestarter’s pain was particularly nutritious. A healthy helping of regret, guilt, self-loathing, and denial. All it had to do was push it a little more, spoon feed him all that he’s done and all that could have been until he pukes. How tender the morsel. How sinfully sweet. 

At some point in the future, it would be strong enough to break out of even this, the strongest of prison cells. It was made specifically for something like it, but it only prolonged the inevitable. It _will_ get out, and it would join the Earth and continue its work on a more subtle level then its minions. Death isn’t the only way to bring misery to the living. There are ways of making hearts hurt for far longer and far worse than any little, meaningless death could. 

_Y/N._ Its eyes narrowed with smug glee. _A very sincere thank you to you. Your body will serve me well._ It relished the feeling of blood pumping through its veins, but it only brought attention to one very important thing that was missing.

Your heart. It should’ve been its’. Should have been blessedly corrupted and stamped into control under its heel. Without it, it was weak, which meant it needed more time to crawl to its full potential. And there was that pesky ghostling and her powers. Combine the two, and there could be a problem.

But to think your puny, pathetic heart could force it out? It had to laugh. It knew you too well. Knew your weakness, knew your loneliness and the cracks created from self-isolation and fear of being known and why. Should your little, broken heart find its way back, it would force it to its knees, make it surrender, and then it would tear it apart and swallow it. And it would be whole, and soon after, nothing would be able to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! And Happy November 7th, 2020!!


	13. Fractured - Held Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even torn, they have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Honey-Ishtar for beta-ing!  
> I had a stylistic thing going on for a certain segment of this chapter, but it didn't work out in ao3 format :(  
> Happy New Year!

DiZ did not enjoy being host. Especially to demons, and even more so to the Darkness itself. Curse him for going soft. 

He had long felt the intrusion on his Realm before he finally took action to clear out whatever pests had made a nest in it. At first, he had expected some stray humans that had managed to get through his deteriorating wards. It had happened before, but he could tell something was different; there was something else in his Castle, something he had ignored as he could barely feel it at all, but the presence grew slowly, as did the presence of Darkness and Light, and he returned to investigate.

When he got there, there was a girl with almost no presence. She felt more like a spirit than a tangible child, and yet, she was there all the same. Upon seeing him, she was frightened, and he realized she could see into him for who he really was, and he quietly made his outward appearance more palatable. 

They had spoken in soft voices, one inquisitive and without room for lies, and the other out of fear that slowly became tentative curiosity. She told him what had transpired in his domain, and he was full of righteous anger, but he didn’t dare show it in front of her - this girl from somewhere in the In-Between. 

She took him to the pods where he saw with his own hundreds of eyes the boy who held the key. And soon after, he met the Princess of Heart, another who wielded the key, and their guides. He knew that they had fought Maleficent together and reduced her to a wisp. They had expected him to be angered that they had killed one of his own kind, reducing their triad to two, but he saw no loss. She had overstepped and broke their sacred oath and had no intention of stopping. Killing her was the only option.

After the Princess, he found the demonling in his basement, having finally found his guide, and DiZ was surprised to find it was the King. Why had Yen Sid sent that one to a boy with a broken heart? A boy that fell to Darkness and nearly brought the Earth to a premature end? No matter the weapon he possessed.

The Magician, Yen Sid, the Ancient of Light, was as enigmatic as ever. DiZ had long accepted he would never understand him, but he did understand one thing: The Earth was in danger. The Heartless threat was growing stronger by the day, and without the keyblades, there would be no stopping it. That knowledge reminded him of their sacred oath: To not meddle with human affairs, to not endanger them, to not hurt them and the Earth they walk upon. As Ancients, they owe them nothing, and humans owe them nothing in return. 

But one of their own intentionally broke this oath with her own two hands, her only motive being the selfish desire to grow more powerful. The more Darkness that walked upon the land and grew within human hearts, the stronger she would become, which left Yen Sid and himself with a dilemma. They could not retaliate and go to war with her, the casualties would be catastrophic, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t help stop her. Yen Sid had acted upon this loophole, and DiZ chose not to help either side.

That didn’t stop him from hearing about the boy and the girl that possessed keyblades. And he thought to himself: Children? Teenagers? What could that fool magician be thinking? Is it not cruel to force such responsibility on them?

Then, he met them, and he understood. The Princess of Heart was an obvious choice, a heart full of Light and powers passed down to her, and bravery and strong-will. The boy held a similar secret of his own, and it made DiZ laugh when he realized what it was. And the demonling. He was still a wild card until proven he was faithful, but had so far been useful.

And then, there was Naminé, who simply didn’t fit. He could feel both Darkness and Light within her, and she was both, but she was neither. A girl who should've never existed, but she did anyway. 

He knew she could wield the keyblade, could practically see it in her hands, but when approached, she said she kept it a secret. If the demons that had kept her captive knew that she possessed it, who knew what they would have done with her. Practical. Smart. Good qualities.

And so, after piecing together Sora’s heart, she stayed behind. And, the fool he was, was grateful he wasn’t alone. He had cared for them for nearly a year, gave them a place to stay in his home, and little by little, they changed his heart. He cared for them, and he cared for Naminé, and so he gave in to her request to let these new guests stay.

That didn’t mean he had to like it, and he didn’t, and that was wise.

The Chamber of Awakening was built long ago by his hands. He made it for the sole purpose of locking away an Ancient, even himself, should they prove too dangerous. It would hold the Darkness, but he didn’t know for how long. The Darkness’s power was beyond that of an Ancient. It wasn’t the embodiment of the element, it _was_ the element. He knew it could break free, knew it _would_ break free the second the chance arose, and he had to be ready for it. 

For all of their sakes, he prayed Naminé was right and that she could save the human and banish the Darkness out of their body. If she couldn’t, it was kill or be killed.

He had moved the front door to his realm, but kept it within The Dark World, rather than give the Darkness an extra exit to Earth. He would have to keep moving it in order to keep Xehanort away, but staying in that rotten world made him itch.

He glared at doors separating the threat to the rest of his Realm, to Earth, and to the rest of the worlds. He could feel it in there, still, silent, patient as it was malicious. And he knew it could feel him, as well, though he was only completely certain when he felt it speak to him, forcing its thoughts into his mind.

Compared to lesser beings, it was a much more tangible, painful trance. He could feel its teeth and nails drag and scrape memories and thoughts into his present. However, these weren’t attempts at bringing him down, soul, body, and mind; these were questions. The image of Maleficent came to him like concrete on concrete, then what was left of her, just her cloak and staff on the stone of Hollow Bastion. 

He didn’t answer, he didn’t have to, because it already knew. There was a tinge of remorse that wasn’t his, not created of true sorrow but of inconvenience, then a jab of backhanded praise directed at him. _So, its true that my Mistress was defeated. Pity. And may I say, what impressive forethought, just not enough it seems._

He dismissed the unwanted intrusion, but could feel it laugh at him as it faded. With a sneer, he turned his back to the Chamber, but stayed in spirit to watch his unwanted prisoner. 

_Naminé, hurry!_

* * *

Naminé’s study wasn’t exactly like the rest of Castle Oblivion. It still had the same ornate trimming, it was still white, blue, and gray and made of that same endless marble, but it felt lived in. It didn’t feel as closed off to the rest of reality like the rest of the maze of rooms, which was likely thanks to the wide window that sat at the far wall, draped in white, slightly sheer curtains. There wasn’t anything to look at out there, per se, but dim daylight filtered in through the curtains at all times, letting any specs of dust dance like flickering stars in its rays. 

The furniture wasn’t utilitarian, like the furniture in the sitting room, but ornate, yet simple. It was all white, maybe a little gray, and if one wasn’t paying attention they might trip right into the long table. There was a dresser full of draws against one wall where the Castle supplied endless amounts of sketchbooks and crayons and other things for her to use. And there were vases of white, porcelain flowers on it and on the middle of the table. 

But what caught the eye was the surprising amount of color the room held. There were several pictures stuck to the white walls; windows to worlds she hadn’t seen in person, of people she had only met vicariously through others, of objects of great importance, like Kairi’s lucky charm, and her own fake version. So many places, so many faces, so many memories (mostly Sora’s and his friends) but of others’ as well. There were pictures of The Castle that Never Was, of moments between Roxas, Xion, and Lea sitting on their perch together, and pictures of their brief respite in Twilight Town. There was a picture capturing the sprawling town at sunset from the view of the clocktower. If Naminé was in any of her drawings, it was of her back, and she had to wonder if she was in any at all.

Her table was always a mess, even on good days. Pictures and sketchbooks and paints and pencils and all manner of art stuff would be thrown every which way. This sometimes caused her a headache when she had to find an unfinished drawing under the debris or a certain color she knew she had a minute before but had somehow disappeared, but now it was more like a warzone. 

Pictures of you. Memories of you: her own, Roxas’s, Xion’s, Lea’s, Hibiki’s, the vague ones she could catch of Isa’s, and even some of your own memories of them all. All these precious moments that should have been bright with joy and fond affection were now tinged gray and blue with sorrow and heartache. They covered almost every inch of the table within arms-reach, and past that there was everything she had set aside from before that awful morning.

Her wrists ached and she was forced to put down her sketchbook and stretch them. It felt like they were swollen, and it hurt even worse when she rubbed them, but in a good way. She knew about the threat of arthritis, even if she was unsure if she could get it, and was normally good about taking breaks. But, her eyes travelled across the stepping stones of memories, she wondered how long she had been at it.

Now that she had stopped, she noticed her eyes hurt in their sockets. She pressed the heels of her palms to them and rubbed. _Exhausted._ That was what her body was telling her, _Exhausted._ And yes, she was, but she doubted she could rest even if she tried. 

There was a knock at the door. She knew he could just appear wherever he wished, open doors without so much as a whisper and she would be none the wiser, but he didn’t. She didn’t like being snuck up on, she didn’t like a sudden presence when there was previously none, she didn’t like it when people split a long silence with a word or a touch without some warning. He knew, and so, he adapted.

“Come in.”

The door opened, revealing Diz standing in the doorway, “Naminé. How goes your efforts?”

She let her hands drop to her lap and sighed. There was a long moment of silence as she tried to come up with some sort of answer, anything at all, but, “I’m not sure.”

He waited until she nodded her permission to enter the room fully. Soon, he was standing beside her, so tall and larger than life itself, looking over her progress. She could see him, or, most of him. What lay within the mist under the watchful, glowing eyes, and she had even found a part of his heart in The Final World, but that was all she could see; a piece, a part, a fragment. If she were to see all of him, she feared her very being would melt like ice cream off a stick into a sticky puddle in her chair. But she wasn’t afraid of him, not anymore, not for a long time. 

His eye lingered on a picture of you, asleep on your bed, and in your chest were two lights. One was yours, and the other, a sunshine gold, was Lea’s. There was an outline of that same gold, his silhouette curled around you as you slept. A slumbering protector. 

“You haven’t found them?”

“Like I said before, I’m not sure. I can feel something.” Her hands balled in her lap, and she ignored how the joints in her fingers protested, “I can feel _them_ somewhere, but I can’t quite reach them. Yet.” She added quickly, “I’m not going to lose hope.”

He closed his eye and nodded solemnly, “I know you won’t.” _Even though your hope is naïve, you are not._ And he prayed that her wisdom could still save them all.

Her shoulders fell and she looked away from him, “I know you don’t think we can do it, but I’m not giving up.”

There was a moment, and his gloved fingers reached out and traced the hearts within your graphite chest, “Their heart is strong.” He finally admitted, “His heart thrived with them for far too long for there not to be any lasting effects. However, they are beyond my sight, but not yours, I’d imagine.” He retracted his hand, leaving not a smudge, “I trust that you’ll be able to retrieve them, but we are on a time limit. The Darkness is patient, but it will free itself eventually. You understand what I must do, should that come to pass.”

She shut her eyes tight as if that alone could force the image away, “I do. And I understand, but I can do this. I _can_.” When she opened her eyes again, they were wet, “Y/N believed in me. I have to, too.”

“As do I.” And he knelt beside her so that they were eye to eye, “I will do whatever is in my power to keep the Darkness at bay and inside the Chamber. I will give you what time I can.” His eye flashed to steel, “Make the most of it, Naminé. We are relying on you.” _Again._

There was a small, fleeting smile, “I know.” 

He closed his eye again and stood, “That being said, you should rest. It would do us no good if you cannot see the paper in front of you.” And he offered his hand.

Naminé wanted to argue that she wasn’t tired, that she could stay up longer, just a little while longer, but her body was sore and her vision was blurry with unshed tears. She placed her hand in his and he helped her stand. Next thing she knew, she was in her bedroom, under her blankets, in soft, warm pajamas. The room was dark, but lights danced across the ceiling, stained glass and stars and paopu fruits. A music box played a familiar song, the one that had always lulled her to sleep, something soft, sweet, and a little sad. The air smelled of cinnamon and fresh air and was cool on her face. Already, her eyelids were growing heavy and her mind was going blank. A finger brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and then she was alone and fast asleep.

When she woke up, there was a warm mug of lemongrass tea on her bedside table, sweet with honey.

* * *

Hibiki laid on the floor, staring at nothing. Her old clothes, ruined with scorch marks, holes, and blood had disappeared after she discarded them for the ones she had been given. Simple gray clothes, made with cotton. The shirt was light, slightly puffy, and was open on the sides, stitched together with X’s and the pants, a darker gray, cinched around her waist with soft yarn. 

She could have taken a shower, but it took what little strength she had left to change clothes, and her greasy hair haloed around her in stringy tangles. Her tongue was dry, her skin was sticky with grime and sweat, and her body still ached even with another elixir. But none of these things compared to the ticking time-bomb in her chest. 

The inhuman heart beat within her breast, but she could feel it faltering, galloping, slowing, weakening, shattering. It felt like shards of glass digging into her lungs and ribs, scraping against the bone and flesh with every stuttering beat. Could a heart literally break? If so, hers’ was. 

But what could she do? How could she stop her already fractured heart from splintering apart? She felt like a bystander to her own murder, wanting to but helpless to stop it.

 _I don’t want to die, not yet._ A voice whispered, a child’s voice. The image of the demon that had attacked her flashed across her eyes, _I survived him, only to die here? What kind of utter horse shit is this?_

“Get up, Hibiki.” Her mama’s gentle voice came from the kitchen, “It’s time for breakfast!”

Hibiki’s eyes opened and she found herself in her childhood bedroom. It was a mess, there were toys thrown in the corner and her bedsheets were crumpled by her feet. The open window brought in the scent of blooming flowers and fresh, spring air. Inside, the scent of apples and spices drifted under her door and caressed her senses. 

Did she have to get up? She was still tired, and it wasn’t a school day. A few more minutes. The food will still be warm in a few minutes, and her mama would wake her if she didn’t wake up herself. Everything would be right where it was when she’d wake up, right where it belonged.

Hibiki’s eyes opened, and she found herself in a strange, white room, on the floor instead of the bed and staring at nothing. 

_I don’t want to die._ That same voice whispered, firmer this time, determined, _What am I going to do to stay alive? Because I’m not going to die._ A familiar smile cracked the glass of her heart, _They wouldn’t want me to die. But what can I do?_ Her fingers tightened into a fist, _How do I stop it? I can’t just pull it out of my chest and –_

That’s when she remembered. The pale girl in blue, the one you hugged, the one who said she wasn’t weak, the one who fixed those demons’ hearts. The one who was trying to bring your heart back. 

Now with a plan in mind, she promptly set it in motion. Getting up from the floor was hard, it always was, but she had no other choice. There would be no languishing until heartbreak took her, there would be no letting go. One step at a time, one tiny step, and another, and another until her scraped hands were around the doorknob, and beyond that door was the sterile light of the Castle, and another blockade out of the way to her destination.

Hibiki didn’t know where she was going. Where was she? Where was her room? What was her name? The image of her face came to her, calm, tear streaked, and resolute. There was a moment, her mind reaching out, and then something reached back and tugged her along. There was a pull at her navel, which she followed. It led her down four hallways, right turn, right turn, left turn, straight, and nudged her towards a door, like any other, but this one had a sign on it:

Naminé’s Study

Please Knock Before Entering

There were pictures of yellow stars and blue flowers around it, decorating healthy green vines. She stared at it, it took her a second to recognize that they were words, and then knocked.

“Come in.”

The doorknob twisted in her hand and the door opened with a slight creak. Inside, there was the girl. She was sitting at a long, cluttered table, paused mid-stroke on a sketchbook. Her blue eyes pinned Hibiki in the doorway. 

Then, she put the sketchbook on the table, without taking her eyes off her visitor, “You can come in.” 

Hibiki fixed her with her own stare and took a deliberate step inside. After working around her cotton tongue, she asked, “What’s your name?”

“My name is Naminé.” Her eyes focused on Hibiki, and she had the distinct feeling that she wasn’t looking at her but _into_ her. “I’m glad you came. If what you came here for is…” 

“My heart.” And she heard it in a child’s voice, “You can fix them, right? Mine is –” Her throat clicked uselessly, “It’s breaking, isn’t it?”

And again, Naminé was looking into her eyes and seeing more than anyone should, “If nothing’s done, yes.”

Hibiki stood in place, fighting the dizziness that threatened to sweep her legs from underneath her. “Fix it. Please.”

And she nodded, no argument, though there were bags under her eyes, “You should sit.” But as the seconds stretched on without any movement, she sighed and retrieved her sketchbook. After flipping it to a blank page, she contemplated the paper, then grabbed a colored pencil and set to work. After a minute of drawing, she asked again, “Are you sure you don’t want to sit? This could take a while.”

Hibiki only shook her head. If she sat down, if she lost focus on standing on her own two feet, she would only break down again. 

Naminé saw right through her, but continued drawing. Slowly, a young woman appeared on the page, a perpetual frown on her face with eyes that work like an electric fence. Standing tall. Standing alone. Strong. Even though she was crying.

Then, hand in hand, another girl appeared. A child, eyes bright and wearing a trickster’s grin. Small, but not weak. And not alone. And not afraid.

“Mama?”

Naminé moved on to another paper, and built a house with a cozy kitchen made of dark wood. 

"Is it almost done yet?”

There was a mother standing beside the stove, and beside her was that little girl. The girl was standing on a stool, cutting carrots while dutifully and affectionately watched by her mother.

The voice that answered her was gentle and kind as she said in Japanese, “Not yet, Hibiki-chan. We have to finish cutting these vegetables first.”

Their backs were turned to the viewer, but their faces were turned to each other, smiling lovingly.

“Awww! But I want to eat it now!” But a moment of distraction, frowning stubbornly at her mother, and the knife missed its mark. The girl cried out and dropped the knife on the wooden cutting board and soon the kitchen was full of her cries. 

“Hibiki-chan! Where’s the cut? Show mama.” She waited with her hand held out and the tiny palm hovered over it, showing a long but shallow cut along two fingers. She sighed in relief, “Let’s get the first-aid kit.” 

With one hand, she turned off the stove, and then led her daughter to the bathroom. When she was sitting on the toilet seat, the mother – and now we know her name is Hana – told her daughter to hold her hand up and count to ten. With a washcloth underneath the hand, she poured hydrogen peroxide over the cuts.

The girl – and her name is Hibiki – hissed and choked on her sniffles, but kept herself quiet, because she’s a big girl.

After wiping away the excess, Hana carefully smeared antibacterial ointment on the wounds and wrapped brightly colored band aids around the little fingers.

“And, now, for the final step.” Mama Hana whispered conspiringly, then, she kissed the band-aids, “Do you feel better now, dear one?”

With tears still in her eyes, a wobbly smile spread across Hibiki’s face. “Mm-hm.” Because mama’s kisses were magic, and they made the pain go away.

Hana’s gentle smile could warm the coldest of hearts, “I’m glad. Do you want a hug?”

Hibiki didn’t answer, but put her arms around her mama’s neck and buried her little face in her long hair. 

Hana sighed again and wrapped her arms around her daughter, petting her hair, the same colors as her father’s. “You must be more careful when you use knives, understand? Don’t look away when you use them.” 

“Yes, mama.”

“Do you promise to be more careful?”

She nodded, “Promise.”

Hana smiled again and kissed her precious head, “Thank you. Now, let's finish before papa comes home. He’ll be very proud to hear you helped.”

Hibiki immediately forgot her pain, “Yeah! I helped!” Then, she gasped, “Carrots!” And leapt out of her mother’s arms and ran back to the kitchen, with Hana racing after her. Laughter echoed in that house. Love echoed in that house.

Naminé set that paper aside wistfully, then began to work on the next. That same girl, a little older now, knelt beside the outline of a young boy with black hair.

“Isaac,”

And in between those children was a round, fat little dog with brown fur and a dark mask, rolling happily on his stomach to receive belly rubs.

“what are you going to name him?”

They played in the garden amongst a sea of flowers that have, since then, been ruined into a black desert. 

The boy, Isaac, thought for a second, then said, “His name is Ruben!” He picked up his newfriend and hugged him. 

Ruben wagged his tail and tried to turn around enough to lick his face, making Isaac giggle, which made Hibiki laugh.

She put her chin on her fist and pet the dog’s short fur, “So, how are you going to sneak him in?”

“Through my window. And you’re going to help me, right?” He grinned playfully and she gently pushed his arm. 

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” Then, she gushed all over the lucky dog, “And I’m going to raid his kitchen and give you all the steak and hot dogs! Yes, yes, I will!”

Isaac gasped, because it was never really clear if she was joking or not, “You will not!”

“You can’t stop me, you fucking noodle!” And she got up with hands on her hips, “Now, c’mon. Let’s go.”

He took her offered hand and they both made their way to his home. It was still early, too early for his parents to be home from work, which made this the easiest crime ever. If sneaking a dog into a house is considered a crime.

Despite Ruben’s fat burrito body, Hibiki lifted him up to the window sill with ease after Isaac climbed through it, and he carefully picked him up under the armpits and pulled him in the rest of the way. She followed him in and closed the window behind her.

Ruben immediately started doing what dogs do, and that is start smelling everything in sight. While Isaac watched him, Hibiki ran to the kitchen and got a bowl of water and several hotdogs. On her way out, she spotted a jar of peanut butter on the counter. 

An hour later, his parents followed the sound of giggles and found their new dog hopelessly trying to eat his fiftieth spoon of peanut butter. They weren’t even mad.

She set that picture aside, and Hibiki only then noticed how there were several new pictures on the table, all of her. But she didn’t have the time to think on it further before Naminé turned yet another page, and her memories overtook her once more.

Hibiki’s silhouette on the page, a few years older again, but still so young, and standing with his back to her was a man. Outlined by the sun, his features bleached in its harsh glow. Features unknown to the girl. Unknown to the world. 

The girl had only one thought as she watched the man walk away from her, into the last rays of day. “I don’t want you to go.”

What was left in his place were brief, unreachable echoes. Far-off hums that might be his voice, or the broken machinery of her mind. The outline of him was a void and a voice she desperately wished to fill, but no matter how much she grabbed and clawed, she made not an inch of progress. There were days that even that last wish squirmed out of her fingers.

Did he hold her? Did he sing her to sleep? Did they play pranks together? Did he want her? Did he love her? And if he loved her, why did he leave? 

A fervent wish and need to know why. To finally grab him by his coat and pull him back home, to fill in the frames without pictures. Until then, she will repeat:

“I don’t want you to go.” “I don’t want you to go.” “I don’t want you to go.”

Hibiki was kneeling on the tile beside the chair, and she didn’t remember when her knees hit the floor. The ache in her heart was fresh, present, punctuated by soft, splintering fractures that were then stitched back together with thin thread. The needle poking through the tender flesh, a sting, then a sigh as it continued on its path. Her fragile, half-formed heart was pulled back together, and though the stars still flickered, they were there and alive.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she leaned her forehead against the girl’s knee. The soft fabric of her dress was cool against her skin, and the thin fingers that caressed her hair grounded her back to reality. 

“They were right.” Her gentle voice said, “You are a good person, Hibiki. You always were.”

Silent tears stained the blue dress.

* * *

Hibiki stayed in Naminé’s study for a while, sitting at the table, watching the papers pile up. The ones depicting her own memories were in front of her in a mess, and she stared at each one with silent solemnity. 

Naminé noted that this was probably very uncharacteristic of her. When they had first met, Hibiki was tired, but still full of a bitter bite that was only barely kept in check by your presence and, again, her own exhaustion. And there were the times you would share something about your life, sharing a comment she made, or something she did that gave the distinct impression that the demonling wasn’t someone to trifle with. The woman that sat at the table with her was a shadow, but at least she was still real and tangible. Naminé knew you would be devastated if she were to die, and now she knew the feeling was mutual. 

The amount of devotion Hibiki must have in order for her heart to almost literally break from your demise… It was almost overwhelming, and incredibly touching at the same time. For someone with a broken heart, she felt things so strongly. Naminé was a little envious. 

Ignoring that little green spark, she got out of her seat, ignored the protest in her back, and poured a glass of water for Hibiki and set it by the papers. “When was the last time you ate?” 

Hibiki didn’t answer immediately, but eventually muttered, “Don’t know.”

She went to her desk and pulled a little silver bell out of a shelf and rang it twice. It echoed, like a windchime met water ripples, then a plate appeared on the middle of the table. A porcelain platter of cheese, fruit, salted nuts, and dried, cured meats. 

Hibiki raised a brow, “Fucking voodoo bullshit.” And grabbed a stem of juicy green grapes. She popped one in her mouth half-heartedly and chewed with disinterest, but her voice was soft, “Thanks.”

Something that could’ve been a smile twitched the corner of her lips, “You’re welcome.” And she took a slice of brie cheese, along with crisp apple slices and a few pecans, and returned to her seat. Like Roxas and Xion, she didn’t need to eat, but the act made her feel more human, and she enjoyed the lean, fresh flavors of her picks. 

She could feel her eyes on her, and when she looked, Hibiki didn’t look away. 

“Yes?”

“Why’d you help me?”

A blink. A moments’ confusion, “Why wouldn’t I?”

If she had more energy, she might have scowled, but all she could manage was a pout, “You have bigger things to worry about. Like Y/N.”

And, yes, that was correct. Her work concerning you and Isa had taken up her every waking moment, but, “That’s no reason to let you die.” She said with genuine earnestness, “If,” The words escaped her, but she found them, “If there’s something I can do to help, I want to do it. And, Y/N loves you.” The shock on Hibiki’s face made her heart break a little, “They do. They really do. And I want everyone to be here when I bring them back.”

Hibiki finally looked away, her hair a wall between them, and instead of replying, she ate another grape. 

After waiting a few moments more, Naminé picked up her crayon and continued drawing. Just as she was being pulled into it, she heard, “You really think you can do it?”

Her hand stilled over a portrait, your eye left unfinished under the wax. “I have to.” She said quietly, “They said they believe in me. Now, I have to prove that it wasn’t misplaced.”

Her frown deepened, “Y’know they wouldn’t hold it against you, right?”

Naminé’s eyes flashed gold, “You don’t mean – “

“Of course I want them back.” She stopped that thought before it was even finished. Bloodshot eyes stared right back into her, hurting, hoping, “You have no idea how – “ She grit her teeth, but it only fell back into a tired frown, “I mean, if it” don’t say _can’t_ “takes a while, they’ll understand. 

“They have terrible taste.” She muttered, eyes staring at something far-off, “I’m proof enough of that. But, you” A moments contemplation, “you’re good. You’ll do it, just, don’t run yourself into the ground, or anything, kid. Y/N would hate that more than anything.”

Pale fingers brushed a lock of your hair, frozen on paper, “They would, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah, no shit. Go take a walk, you’ve been sitting here for hours.” 

It took more than a few tries to get her out of the room, but Naminé did eventually relent to Hibiki’s will. One went on a walk, one finally went to bed. 

When Hibiki’s head met the feather pillow, she thought of you, and she thought of her mom, and she thought of Isaac, and she thought of her dad, and everything that led her to this point. Thing was, she couldn’t decide if she would take a different turn somewhere, and if she would, where. The answer eluded her as sleep finally claimed her, safe knowing her heart would survive another day.

Naminé walked the quiet halls, her fingers skimming the cool marble walls. Her path was aimless, but she continued to walk it anyway. It wasn’t until a door opened to her right that she realized there was someone that would like to talk to her at all.

Xion stood in the doorway, their hair a bedheaded mess, even the fur around their ears was a bit matted, and in borrowed pajamas as if they had flown out of bed just to see her. 

Naminé’s eyes widened. So much had happened, she had nearly forgotten her dear friends were in the Castle with her, that they were in arms reach of each other. 

She reached, only to find herself in Xion’s arms. Her own arms instinctively wrapped around their shoulders and held on tight. It was a surprise to find she was actually a few inches taller than they were, and their hold was strong, and safe _._

“This is real.” Naminé whispered, feeling tears bead in the corners of her eyes, hardly recognizing her own voice. 

Xion squeezed her tighter, burying into her shoulder, “I can barely believe it. I thought I’d never be able to do this.” 

Slowly, she lowered her face into their dark hair and breathed them in. They smelled clean, fresh from the bath, and there was something else, too. All demons had this slightly sour smell, not unlike ripened fruit or meat, but Xion also smelled like the ocean, salty, but cool like balm. 

“You’re just as beautiful as you are in my dreams.” 

Naminé felt herself blush, but could barely form more than a squeak. 

A door opened, and the two of them barely had time to register the sound of running before another pair of arms wrapped around them. 

Roxas had one arm around each shoulder, leaning his head against Nami’s. “Didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” He tried to joke, but his throat was tight. 

Their arms crossed over his back, and together they tucked into this hug, the first of many, they hoped.

“I’ll forgive you, this time.” Xion whispered, tears rolling down their cheeks. 

And Naminé began to cry, her breath hitching in her throat, her sight swimming through the tears. “I broke your hearts. Please, I never wanted to… _Please_ , forgive me.” As her emotions overtook her, her curved, stag horns began to sprout from her temples and her skin began to glow.

Roxas pulled her closer, and she felt Xion’s cheek brush against her own. 

“You saved us.” Roxas reminded her, “We get to be alive because of you!”

She could feel Xion’s lips move against her skin, “So, there’s nothing to apologize for. _Thank_ you, Naminé. _Thank you.”_

Their voices broke, and yet, they held each other up, never once letting the other fall, despite the fragile way their knees buckled under the weight of the past day, and even beyond that. The pain wasn’t gone, but they weren’t alone, they never were, and never would be again.

In those quiet halls, there was only the sound of bittersweet sobs.

* * *

The three of them ended up migrating to the lounge, with Naminé in the middle so she could receive as many hugs as she wanted. The three of them could never manage to be in the same dream at the same time, it was a one person at a time deal. Naminé was a little overwhelmed from all the attention, but she glowed with it all the same.

They talked. They talked and they talked and they talked. About nothing, about everything, all the things in between. Roxas and Xion shared everything they learned of the human world, to Naminé’s quiet rapture. They knew that, more than anything, Naminé wanted to be more human. 

(In secret, they shared that same wish.)

What they didn’t say aloud was that being together made it easier. They wouldn’t say what it was easing, because if they did, then it would shatter it altogether. It’s not like they had to say it anyway, because they all knew it, and knew what it was, and knew they had to try to ignore the insistent memories as best as they could. 

When one couldn’t shrug them away, the other two would know immediately. Roxas would go stiff, his expression would pinch, and his hands would form fists on his knees, trembling with grief. Xion would flinch, then their fingers would knot over their stomach and their eyes would become so sad, it hurt to look into them. Naminé would blank, her gaze far away, and then slowly shake like a leaf in the wind, ready to fly off the bough. And every time, they would drag the other out of their thoughts until they could nearly forget again.

But voices become hoarse, throats become tight, and the mind tires. Eventually, they could only sit there, eyes closed, driven to exhaustion laden sleep. Had they talked for hours? Or had it been less? Time does not exist in a way that matters.

And, it was there they woke up to footsteps drawing close. Hibiki stepped around the couch, leering down at them with tight lips. She wasn’t jealous, not really, but it was hard not to imagine the times the two of you would pass out on your couch after staying up too late watching movies or playing video games or doing whatever. On that note, she needed Naminé’s help to get all your stuff that you abandoned in the woods.

Thankfully, she didn’t need to say anything, as they were already looking at her over the couch. They seemed drowsy, but the twins were soon becoming alert, and their intense, fathomless gazes sent a shiver down her spine. 

Naminé blinked up at her, “Hibiki?”

She scowled for a second, but smoothed out her expression slightly and spoke to Roxas and Xion, “Where’s your shitty brother? I bet he’s looking for you brats.”

They both scowled right back at her, but the reminder did get them stirring. They looked around Naminé in order to meet each-others’ eyes, and they were quiet for a moment.

Xion broke the silence, “I don’t think he should be alone right now…” They said softly.

Roxas sighed with a nod, “You’re right.” Then, he glared at Hibiki, “Thanks, I guess.”

She rolled her eyes, but the look in her them wasn’t full of the same hostility they held before, “Uh-huh, sure.”

Xion eyed her before sighing through their nose, “We’ll see you later, Nami.” Then nuzzled her cheek before getting off the couch.

“See you, Naminé. Don’t work yourself too hard.”

Naminé turned her face away from them, “I’ll see you later.”

The two demons left the room, glancing back at the others with a bit of trepidation, but nevertheless leaving them be.

Hibiki waited for them to be gone before leaning against the back of the couch, “Hey, I need your help with something.”

The girl smiled at her kindly, “Of course. With what?”

“Left all our shit in the woods, kinda need it. I need to be able to get back.”

“Oh,” And she stood, smoothing out her dress, “Alright, I can guide you. Follow me.”

* * *

Lea sat before Isa’s lotus chamber, staring at the closed petals. 

“Hey,” He said to the silent room, only to realize he didn’t know what to say. So, he ended up waiting for a reply that would never come. 

And he waited.

And he waited.

“Hey.”

Lea’s eyes flew open, his heart leaping into his throat. He swore he heard – but the pod was still closed – 

The familiar warm-cold. A hand brushed the feathers of his wing. Standing beside him was Roxas, and beside Roxas was Xion. Pain laced through Lea’s chest at the sight of them, echoes of his screams ringing in his ears; calling their names over and over, feeling the syllables trip over his monstrous teeth, but realizing that it wouldn’t be enough to bring them back. The Emerged’s four eyes boring into him without seeing him, and wishing he had just one more day with them. 

Two hands brushed the tears from his eyes, but they just kept coming. His two charges knelt before him, and he slid his thumbs over their wet cheeks, but they wouldn’t dry.

“I’m so happy you’re alive.” Lea heard himself say breathlessly, as his lungs struggled to hold air, “You’re both – I was so – “ 

Two heads pressed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around their backs. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Roxas whispered wetly.

Lea tried to dispute it, but all he could manage was a croak. He pulled them in closer, pressed his face between their heads. Their fluffy hair tickled his chin and cheeks, and the tears smearing across his chest grounded him and left him dizzy with grief at the same time. 

“I love you.”

They went utterly still in his arms.

“I love you both so much. You changed my life, and I – I never want to lose either of you ever again.” He tried to breath, “Never, _ever_ again! So, next time, please call my name and I’ll come running to you. Doesn’t matter what’s happening, it doesn’t matter! Because – “ He sobbed, “Because you’re two of the most important people to me, and I will be there in second, I _swear_ I will.”

 _Don’t make promises you can’t keep._ That little voice reminded him. _Fuck you._ He said back.

Xion sniffed and wept, “We love you, too.”

“We love you, too.” Roxas repeated with a whimper.

“We’re sorry we scared you.”

“I was scared that I lost you.” Lea whispered hoarsely, “I was scared you’d be stuck like that, I was scared that you’d be the thing you both never wanted to be, and that I failed you. It wasn’t your fault, it never was.” And he kissed the top of their heads, “Just, _please,_ ” But he didn’t know what he was pleading for. Maybe, he was pleading for them. Maybe, he just needed them.

But there were some people missing. Two very, very important people. 

The twins didn’t respond, only burrowed deeper in his embrace. The terror was still fresh within them, too. Though the memories of being one, as The Emerged, were there, though very faint. They remembered feeling angry, and sad, and very, very afraid. Afraid. Afraid. Afraid, Afraid, Afraid, _Afraid_. 

It was a fear that shook within marrow, a terror that stole into their hearts, a horror that blinded their weeping eyes. At first, it was Sora’s fear, but now, it was theirs’, too.

_I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of hurting people. I’m afraid of losing everyone. I’m afraid I can’t do it. I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid I’ll never see them again. I’m afraid it’ll all end. I’m afraid that I can’t stop it. I’m afraid they’ll die. I’m afraid I’ll die. I’m afraid of everything. I am. I am, I am, I am, I am. I’m afraid and afraid and afraid of it all._

And when manifested in The Emerged, the sentences ran together and became this simple statement:

_There won’t be anything to be afraid of, if We destroy it all._

And apart, that thought evolved into this:

_Is that really me?_

As if reading their minds, Lea pet their hair, as someone he held dear did so long ago, “Thank you, for everything. You’re some of the kindest people I’ve had the pleasure to meet, got it memorized?”

Roxas snorted, as did Xion.

“Very memorized.”

* * *

“I should apologize to Naminé, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. You know what happened?”

“Sort of. She didn’t go into too much detail, but we got the gist.”

“Oh.”

“You were kind of an asshole.”

“Yeah, I was.”

“She doesn’t blame you.”

“She should, though. I wasn’t good to her.”

“No, you weren’t. Even if you did let her escape.”

“I’ll apologize soon.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a promise.”

“Good.”

* * *

“Do you think he’ll wake up?”

“I hope so.”

“How long do you think it’ll take?”

“Who knows. But Naminé will pull through, I know she will.”

* * *

“They’ll come back.”

“I know they will.”

“I miss them.”

“I do, too.”

* * *

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Please, don’t leave us.”

“I won’t.”

* * *

Hibiki cast her gaze at the destruction around her. She hadn’t realized how large the battlefield was before, but she could see now that a large swath of the woods was in pieces. Trees were uprooted or torn apart. Large snow banks were created from the skid and impact of bodies across the snowy ground. There was still blood in the snow, darkened by age, both black and red, and gaping sores in the white, revealing singed, dead grass. 

The crunch of snow alerted her to Naminé’s approach, until they were standing side by side. There was a moment’s breath, as if they wanted to say something, but nothing came past their lips.

Hibiki closed her eyes, then moved on. Following the path of kicked up snow, she finally found the place where she had come toe to toe with her great-something grandpa for the first time. Her bag of goods was, along with her backpack, thoughtlessly discarded in the heat of battle. 

Flashes of silver hair swept through her mind, dark in the dim of night, glowing red in the wake of his weapons. Her fingers brushed against her side where they had found its mark. The wound was closed and no longer hurt, but there was still a dark scar. A matching one was on her arm.

Her bones creaked under her skin, and she knew if they ever met again, she’d do everything in her power to kill him. It wasn’t fair. She never had the chance to have a normal life, but she didn’t know that her entire purpose was only to be an extra body to use. She spit at the ground in disgust, then picked up her bags. 

The two of them trudged closer to the invisible wall between this Realm and the human world. “I need to make a few phone calls.” Hibiki muttered, “You’ll let me back in, right?”

Naminé nodded, then spotted the others’ bags a ways away. After they got those, they found your car in the dead-end, but didn’t have the keys, so they couldn’t test if it would start.

“I’ll be right back.”

After shuddering through the membrane, she did as she promised she’d do to you, and didn’t find it at all pleasant. She was actually relieved to walk back into the _weird_. 

The two of them walked together in silence, sharing the load. They followed what they thought to be their footprints, only to realize too late that there was only one pair of tracks. In their way was a tote bag and a backpack, abandoned among the frost-covered trees. 

They stared at your belongings for many long seconds, before they picked them up and hung them across their shoulders.

Naminé’s thin hand fit into Hibiki’s calloused palm, their fingers squeezed around each other. They made their way back, hand in hand.

“You can do it.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yeah. If they believe in you, so do I.”

The crunch of snow underfoot, the chill of winter on their wet cheeks. 

“Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“We know you will.”


	14. Dive to the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimless and lost, you wait for whatever fate comes for you in Traverse Town. That is, until you realize you're losing everything precious to you.
> 
> Ever wonder how Isa got his scar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Face Mutilation, Eye Mutilation and Gore

You stared at the stars above you, lying flat on the cool stones below. How long had you been there? Did it even matter? There was only you and the little fuzzball here, anyway.

“Hey, Chirithy, tell me a story.”

Chirithy sat beside you with his hands in his little lap, “Sure! What kind?”

“Any story. I don’t care.”

He hummed thoughtfully, tapping his chin, “How about a true one?”

You waited, and he began in a somber voice,

“Before there were stars, there was Darkness and Light, trapped in an endless battle, where silence and rage reigned supreme. They were perpetually trapped, pressed together, head-to-head, warring for more. More space, more power, more anything. They hated each other, though, they didn’t even know why.

“Time wasn’t real, yet. They could’ve been fighting for eons, or a millisecond, but, eventually, something was born between them. This being was gray and color, and it burst out between the seam that divided the Light and Darkness. It did not give a name for itself, but as it was In-Between the Light and Dark, that was the title it was given.”

He leaned forward, gesturing wildly with his paws, “For the first time since the beginning, the Light and Darkness didn’t have anything to do. They sat on either side of the In-Between, lost. They still wanted to fight each other, they wanted to go to war again, but they couldn’t! The In-Between likes peace and quiet, and most certainly did not want to be caught between another eternal battle. 

“For a long time, the Light and Dark tried and failed to find a way around the In-Between, and when they finally realized they couldn’t, they sulked.”

“The primordial forces of Light and Dark sulked?”

“Yep. They sure did.”

That managed to get a puff of laughter out of you. “Okay. Continue, please.”

“So, the Light, Dark, and In-Between sat in a row in tense silence. Until, the Light started to think about something beyond hatred. It wanted something to appease its boredom, and those thoughts began to take shape within it. It was shocked to find something growing inside of it, but that shock soon turned to distant curiosity. 

“Slowly, but surely, it created a strange tower that rose up and up and up, and inside that tower were strange rooms that had doors that led to nowhere, and portals that would bring you somewhere completely different inside it. Of course, every house needs someone to call it a home, and carefully, the Light created the first Ancient.

“The Magician, Yen Sid, was the Light’s one and only son. But Yen Sid grew lonely, and began to create his own creatures, whom he called Guides. The first of the Guides was in the shape of a black mouse, bearing the crown of the king, for he rules over all other Guides. His name is King Mickey. To this day, Yen Sid resides within the Mysterious Tower, creating his Guides and practicing his powerful magic.

“Meanwhile, the Darkness became insanely jealous of the Light’s creation, and started to create something of its own. However, the Dark’s first try was a disaster. This world it created was twisted and perverse, a mockery of everything that would come to be. And when it tried to create life, oh, those were even worse. 

“The beasts it birthed are evil, terrible, writhing things, hungry and hateful. They multiplied into the hundreds quickly, and overran the ugly world, searching for what they do not have.”

“The Heartless.”

“Yes, though they did not get those names until long after.”

You considered telling him you knew of that story, or, at least you think you did, but you didn’t want to interrupt his pace, and nodded for him to continue.

“The Darkness was enraged, and its anger made the Dark World expand. 

“Realizing what would happen if that world grew to collide with the Mysterious Tower, the In-Between hurried into action. It meticulously created its own world, and it was lush, wild, and alive. The air was sweet and fresh, and no animals were as yet created. It placed this world with no name in between the Dark World and the Mysterious Tower, and exerted its power to halt the Dark World’s tumorous growth.

“The Darkness sneered at the In-Between and its unassuming creation, but had noticed that the Light had already moved on to create something new. Driven by a need to be better than it, the Darkness also began to build a new realm.

“During this period of creation, debris flew from the Light and into the sky. First, with the creation of the Mysterious Tower, came the moon, then, with the creation of heaven, came the sun, and all the other shards became the stars.

“The sun forever watched over this heaven from just over the horizon, and it was named Daybreak Town. And, both it and the moon circled around the In-Between’s world, drawn to it by gravity. 

“Meanwhile, the Darkness created a mangled castle, surrounded by reversed waterfalls. And, in spite of the Light, it also created its own Ancient. The Mistress of Evil, Maleficent, was coarse and cruel. She created beings of shadow and malice, whom she called her Familiars. Unlike Yen Sid, she did not make them out of loneliness, but out of a need to hold power over others’, just like her creator. She ruled over Hollow Bastion for many, many years, until her greed led to her downfall a short while ago.”

“She’s not alive anymore?”

“Well… she’s certainly not alive, but not dead, either. After she was defeated by the keyblade wielders and their Guides, she faded into shadow. Maybe, sometime in the future, she’ll reappear, but for now, she’s barely more than a shade.”

 _Keyblade._ That word meant something to you, but you couldn’t remember exactly why. 

“Though there was no sign that Yen Sid would go to battle with her if she dared trespass against him, the In-Between still saw an imbalance of power; a potential threat to the tentative peace it had gone to such lengths to protect. So, it again stepped in to create another realm apart from the world, and its own Ancient.”

White rooms, gilded pillars holding up the ceiling. A piercing gold eye that saw everything within you. What was his name?

“This castle was like a child’s drawing come to life, foreboding and looming. It’s name is Castle Oblivion, and the Ancient that calls it home is the DiZ the Wise.”

“I met him.” You said, though you weren’t completely sure about the circumstances of your meeting. You did remember your head splitting, and the appreciation and passive dislike you had for him.

Chirithy blinked, “Wow, you must be one of the few humans he’s ever appeared before. Count yourself lucky you survived with your mind intact.”

You remembered the blood running down from your eyes, “Yeah…”

“DiZ has always been a solitary soul. He had no need for company, and preferred to keep it that way. That is, until recently. But that’s another story.”

Blonde hair and gray blue eyes and a shy smile.

“For a time, there were only the three Ancients, who once in a while glanced at each other warily but did not interact. Then, everything changed when the first star fell from the sky. It landed in the heart of Daybreak Town, and by that I mean the world’s very own heart. And from the meeting of the star and heart, came the first angel.

“I will not speak his name, though he gave it to me willingly. You may know him as the Master of Masters. He was brilliant in his radiance, and always knew what would happen before it did. However, he was also eccentric and somewhat wild. He always wore a cloak that covered his face, maybe because he had never been Shaped and given a palatable Natural Form. All that I know of his features is his eye, one of which he planted in his keyblade so that it would continue on after he was gone, and so that he would always know what the future held before it came.

“The Master of Masters lived on his own for a time, aware of the Ancients watching him closely, though he didn’t seem to mind or care. He lived with his head held high, watching them back with a glint in his eye, like he knew their potential fates and his own.

“As it happens, people get lonely, and he did, too. One day, he went to the far side of Daybreak Town where the night still teetered on the horizon, and he plucked a star out of the sky, and from that star came his first apprentice and firstborn, Ira.

“After Ira came Invi, then Aced, then Ava, then Gula, and finally, Luxu. These angels would become Masters themselves in time, Shaping several hundred angels between them all, and be given the title of the Foretellers.”

 _Foretellers._ A part of your mind knew you knew that name, and that you knew the names of them, but not, “Luxu? I don’t remember a Luxu in the stories.”

“Yes, he was the forgotten one.” Chirithy nodded somberly, “Even I don’t know what happened to him. One day he just disappeared, along with his Master’s keyblade. Though… I believe one of the survivors of the Great Keyblade War wielded it. I wish I knew more.”

“The Foretellers went to war with each other.”

“Yes. As it was preordained by the Master of Masters.” Chirithys’ ears drooped, his threaded eyes stared at the cobblestone, “He made me and Traverse Town because he knew it would happen. He gave me one demand, that I watch over the hearts that would come here during the war, and when they were ready, urge them to fall to the still unnamed planet below Daybreak Town. Somehow, maybe through his eye, he knew they would be reborn again human, their hearts living on to give birth to more lives.

“What I don’t understand is why he made them go to war in the first place.”

You stared at him in bewilderment, “You mean he went through the trouble of making an entire world and you as a failsafe, only to _make_ the war happen? Why the hell would he do that?”

He shrugged, “As I said, he was eccentric, and a mad scientist, and I don’t think he even gave the full truth to his own apprentices, who he loved dearly. He most certainly didn’t give it to me. 

“All I could do was wait and watch uselessly as the war began. First, after creating me and giving a book of prophecies to each of the Masters, excluding Luxu, with specific instructions to each, he just… disappeared. He knew he would, and told them all such, but the circumstances were still so mysterious. 

“And after him, Luxu disappeared, too. I only saw him twice since. Once, when he faced against Ava, the leader of the Dandelions, and the last, when he looked over the desolation that became Daybreak Town in the wake of the war, as Kingdom Hearts appeared overhead, awakened by the heartache and bloodshed.” He ended gravely.

Now that word did not ring any bells at all, yet the way he said it gave you goosebumps. “What’s that?”

Chirithy went quiet for a few moments, fiddling anxiously with the little pouch around his neck. “Even I’m not completely sure. All I know is that it’s incredibly powerful and ancient, older than the Darkness and Light. Maybe its where they came from, I don’t know. And, it can be summoned, but only at great sacrifice.”

Something nagged at the back of your head, something about a motherfucking wrinkly bald-ass bastard. “What happened when it appeared?”

“It absorbed the last dregs of life from Daybreak Town, creating the Keyblade Graveyard in its wake. Then, the last of the angels, the ones who put down their keyblades and stopped fighting, caught some of its power before it went dormant again and used it to create a new heaven, Scala ad Caelum.”

 _He wanted to recreate the Great Keyblade War._ Why did this thought seem so important? You couldn’t remember. 

“What came after?”

“You did.” He said with a smile in his eyes, “Humans. You’re all really amazing, you know? You don’t limit yourself to the whims of Light or Dark, you’re… bombastic, and beautiful, and alive in ways that angels and demons aren’t!”

You snorted, “We’re also puny and weak compared to them.”

“You might not have the same powers as them, you may not share their long lifetimes, but you can do something they can’t.”

“What’s that?”

“Grow. Change. Give yourselves and everything around you names, and then rename them again, and those names are remembered beyond death. You’re unpredictable and predictable and mortal, and I think that’s rather amazing.”

You turned your face away from him, suddenly aware that you were unable to do any of that ever again. The stars under your translucent skin pulsed in time with your silent heartbeat. You didn’t feel amazing. You didn’t _want_ to feel anything. You wished to be numb.

“Where do I go after this?” 

Cocking his head, he said, “Well, I don’t know. If you were an angel, you’d go down to Earth.”

“To be reborn?”

“Ohhh…” He hummed in hesitation, “That depends. If they leave their bodies behind, yes, but if they don’t, then the heart can’t be reborn.”

Your hand traced up your arm to the place your heart would be, if you were still alive, “Like Lea.”

“Yes, and others. If they go back down to Earth, then they’re trapped. They can’t do anything but roam, looking for the one person they can share a body with, to heal. After the recent Fall, all but two chose that path.”

The thought of there being another here hurt, and at the same time, you weren’t alone. “All but two… Who?”

“Do you want me to show you? Angel hearts are quite the thing to behold.”

You turned your head to look at him. He was haloed by the neon of a sign behind him, washing him in a blue glow. “Sure. Why not?” _It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go._

He hopped up with an unseen grin and waited for you to stand. Your knees trembled for a second, but managed to hold you as you walked beside him.

“So, really, where do you think I’d go?”

The little creature thought about this, then shrugged helplessly, “I really don’t know. I’m not even completely sure what became of the Royalty of Heart that found their ways here. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, if you decided to go back to Earth, you’d be reborn. If your body is dead.”

You weren’t sure about your body, but after some thought, thinking about a different life you’d live as a new human, you had to wonder, “Do you think I could wait for them? That I could stay?”

He gasped, but quickly tried to cover it with a cough, “I certainly wouldn’t say no to your company! But…” And you pretended not to notice him fidget, “you must know their hearts beat for a long time, all the way into forever if they don’t die in battle or give up. You could be stuck here forever.”

Again, you let your memories wash over you... and found they were a little hard to find. You knew your life wasn’t great, for reasons you never wanted to fully acknowledge. From your earliest memories, all the way up to that one day, all was dark and gray. You could feel that. Moments of joy were fleeting and quick to anger. How many times had you wanted to give it all up entirely, or begged for a different life? 

But, the thought of living without them hurt far, far worse than all of those years combined. It could have just been the fresh grief talking, but for now, you felt nauseous at the notion.

“I’ll wait forever, if that’s what it takes.” You said in a hollow, cracked voice.

Chirithy didn’t respond, only gazed at your hand sadly and longingly, wishing he was big enough to reach it.

You walked through the deserted town, listening to the song of distant windchimes, despite there being no wind to speak of. What clean desolation, this lonely place was. 

Part of you wondered if this heart was someone you knew, and an even smaller part feared that it was one of the demons’ that attacked you and your friends. Most you thought nothing of it at all, and only wished for some distraction.

Finally, you came to a dark alley. From there, you could hear quiet sobs. 

“Here’s one of them. He’s been here quite some time.” Chirithy murmured, “He’s not much of a talker, so don’t take it personally if he ignores you.”

Tears beaded in the corners of your eyes and fell up to the sky. How could one person leak this sorrow into the very stone? It seeped into the air, heavy in your lungless chest. 

You stepped into the alley and into its’ dim. In the darkness was a pale, moonlit glow, as if a piece of the moon itself had chipped off and fallen to Traverse Town. It flickered like a dying lightbulb and the sobs grew louder, sticking into you like glue.

Finally, you were close enough to see him clearly. The constellation that built this heart burned brightly, far brighter than your own despite its struggle to stay lit. It sat within an orb of light, and there were so many stars within, you knew you couldn’t count them all. You dimly remembered a moment in a dream long ago where Naminé had pointed out an angel’s heart to you, and how large it was had winded you. No wonder he glowed so harshly, with that large heart squeezed into such a tiny space. Pure, concentrated Light.

The heart sniffled in surprise and hiccupped. You felt his words rather than heard them, “Who - …” He fell quiet, and the potency of his gaze made you tingle like you’d been electrocuted. “I know you… from somewhere.”

You knelt before him and gave him your name, “What’s yours?”

He repeated it to himself, his voice reverbing like he was speaking through a tunnel, “I’ve never met you before. Why do you feel so familiar?” And the intensity of his stare made your hair stand on end. “You… glow like he did. My friend.”

You cocked your head to the side, “Lea.” You said simply, feeling the lines between your stars melt like magma in marrow, “I was his.” And nothing could be a simpler explanation.

“Lea.” He muttered, “Yes, that must’ve been his name. I forgot.”

“What’s your name?” You asked again.

“I don’t know. I forgot that, too.”

Chirithy bounced towards you, “My! I’ve never heard him speak so much.” Only for awkward silence to follow his intrusion, which he took with dignity. After a moment of considering the heart before him, he approached you and took your hand, “Here.” He said softly, “It’s been far too long since he’s felt the touch of another.”

You let him bring your hand to the angel’s heart. The heart shied away at first, then tremblingly pushed into the palm of your hand like a nervous, touch starved animal. The moment you made contact, you gasped aloud.

At first, it was only him and his power and his pain, twisting a sob out of your throat. Yes, you knew him, his body and mind at least. But before you could say his name, something else followed. A connection, not only with him, but through him. The pull of a child’s hand, desperately grasping your fingers after stumbling through the dark of night.

A gasp that was not your own. A sentence that whispered at the edge of your consciousness, _“I found you!”_

Her name came to you like a whisper on calm waves, _Naminé?_ Then, just like that, you slipped between her fingers, but the connection couldn’t be undone. The first line between hearts was forged.

You had the sensation of suddenly waking, though your eyes hadn’t fallen shut. Even the angel’s heart flared. 

“What was that?” He asked, “What did you do?”

“That wasn’t me. I don’t think… Isa.” That’s right, his name. “Isa, it’s me!”

“Isa…” He muttered, then a ghost of a sigh wafted across your cheek, “My name. You found it. Thank you.”

You pressed your other hand to his soft shell, it felt like the static coming off an old T.V., “I know – knew your… body? Other half? We were friends.”

“Friends.” He whispered, like it was a foreign concept, “Friends.”

“Do you remember? Do you know me?”

He spoke with resignation, “No. I have lost my connection with my body. I gave it away, and gladly. Although, your name does stir something inside me, deep deep down. I’m not surprised you knew me in another life.”

Your fingers curled around him, your entire body ached with heartbreak, not only yours, but his. “Lea told me what happened.”

“He did? Then you understand why.”

And maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. But you knew that he was lonely and so very sad. More tears fell up to the sky. 

“Do you… want a hug?”

Silence, followed by, “A… hug.”

“You just sound like you need it.” And that’s because, when you were on the brink of following through a tragedy, you yearned for someone to hold you. 

He didn’t answer, and you nearly let go, but then he croaked, his words catching on all the lines of his constellation. Again, he wept, and it only grew when you brought him into your arms. You felt tiny paws rest on your back, followed by a soft forehead. The three of you sat on the cold cobblestone, holding one another until the pain could ease, if only a little.

And yet, your mind was a reeling mess. You felt her reaching out to you, reaching _for you._ Why? Why was she doing that? What could she possibly be hoping to achieve? You were dead. Dead, dead, and deader still. You gave it away – why…

The seizing of muscles in your legs, pain, dark and blinding. Cramps in your arms from pulling a monster beside her. Right, Xion and Roxas. You did it to save them. You’d do it again.

… How long had you been there?

How long had Isa been there?

Why did he forget his name?

Oh. Oh no. Memories. Memories. Memories. Where were they going? Your memories! Dig. Dig. Dig. Where were they going?! Names. Names. Lea. _Lea._ You’d never forget his name. Xion. Roxas. Naminé. Hibi - Hibiki. Yes, yes, the names that mattered, the names you needed hold on to.

But… why?

No, no, _no._ No! Don’t go! There were feelings, they were staying, but what had happened? You remember… fear. Fear, yes, fear. Terror. Pain. Excruciating pain. Hopelessness, resignation. Utter devotion and love.

“Chirithy,” You whispered in a shaking voice, “Where are my memories going?”

“Uh oh… It’s happening already.” You heard him whisper back. He pressed his forehead between your shoulder blades. “That’s what happens here, Y/N. When you come here, your memories will fade, a clean slate for your new life. Not completely! The heart never truly forgets, but everything, except the feelings will go. Unless you’re reminded. Like Isa, here.”

You gasped sharply, “I can’t forget.” You heard yourself say, holding even tighter to Isa’s heart, “There’s something important. Something…” _Naminé, you’re looking for me. You’re looking for Isa, but why? Why? There must’ve been something you said. I remember white. I remember ceaseless stairs and fog. I remember… pictures. Pictures, yes. And something about Isa, his heart… But your voice is far away, and where is it going?! What did you say?!_

You cursed, clutching to Isa like a lifeline. “Naminé.” You said, hoping she’d hear, “Naminé, are you out there? Where are you?”

Isa swallowed his sobs, “Who are you talking to?”

“My friend. I felt her for a second. She can…” What can she do? “do stuff with hearts. I’m trying to speak with her.”

He scoffed, “That’s hopeless. Your voice won’t reach her.”

“Not with that attitude it won’t.” You reflexively snapped, but immediately apologized, “Sorry. I’m just forgetting something, and it’s really important that I remember.” And even as you were speaking, you could feel more things slipping away, now that you were aware they were going. 

“Who is it?” Chirithy asked.

“Naminé.” You answered in frustration. Sighing, you pressed your forehead to Isa’s heart, “Naminé, are you there? Please answer me…”

Your hands were reaching out, struggling to touch another, clawing for something substantial, the last of what you knew. The dark was an expanse of nothing, and yet you called her name. _Please hear me! Please! I can’t lose you, yet!_

Slim fingers fit between yours, your name echoed back with a cry. The starless night burst into light, auroras of blue and green and gold split it open, and you were pulled through and into her arms.

At first, you barely recognized the sight of this world of stars and reflections, though yours and hers’ could never reach the water below your bare feet. Her head was tucked against your chest, and she was clutching you tightly. You could feel her warm tears on your skin, her short, aborted sobs rocking her shoulders against you.

“I found you!” She wailed, “I found you!”

Though your memories were dimming ever more, the relief of her near you nearly brought you to your knees. You didn’t need memories to know you loved her. 

Your arms circled her slim shoulders and you pressed your face into her silky hair. “You found me.”

“What is this place?”

You straightened in surprise, and the two of you turned to see Chirithy rounding your back, staring up at the billions of constellations in awe and wonder. 

Naminé’s brows crinkled, “Who is this?”

You blinked, “Chirithy, how’re you here?”

“You’re guess is as good as mine. Where are we?”

“The Final World.” Yet Naminé still stared at him in utter confusion.

Another voice murmured, “So many stars…”

On the other side of you, Isa’s heart floated, his glow tempered in the lights in the night compared to the dark of the alley. 

Naminé gasped, “Isa! Thank goodness you’re here too.”

“Do I know you?”

“Not really… But I’ve been looking for you, too.” She shuddered with a sigh, her eyes wet, “I was beginning… I thought maybe…” She breathed in sharply, “But you’re here. You’re here, and I can do this.”

 _Right,_ you thought, _there was something she needed to do._ If only you could remember what. “Naminé, I…” 

She glanced at you, a quick study, then turned her face away with her shoulders bunched to her ears, “I see.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. I know you wouldn’t do that.” But her voice was still tight with hurt. 

“Can I get them back? Can you give them back to me?”

Slowly, she turned back to narrow her eyes at your constellation, “Memories are never truly gone, just forgotten.” She began hesitantly, “There may be a way… but… We’ll have to see as I bring you back to your body.”

When you blanked, she closed her eyes to fight the tears that threatened to spill once again. “Your body. The Darkness is inside it.”

Ice flooding your veins, so cold it burned, acceptance, fear. “… Oh. And, I assume that’s bad.”

This time she nearly laughed, a hysterical, exhausted laugh, “Yes, its _very_ bad. We have to get you back in your body, or else its going to…” She went unnaturally still, her terrified gaze somewhere far off, “get out.”

“The Darkness?!” Chirithy yelped, “It got into your body? Oh dear, that’s not good, not at all!”

Remembering what he had told you, you nodded quietly, “That’s right, the one from your story.”

He shook his head in horror, “How on earth did it get in you?!”

“They walked into the Dark Margin.” Naminé explained quickly.

“The Darkness made manifest in the worlds…” He shuddered, “You need to get back in your body, now. If the Darkness breaks free and goes to earth, I can only imagine it would bring destruction that would rival the Great Keyblade War. I will help you!”

“I still have no idea what you are.”

“Long story short: I am a creature created by a mad scientist in a test tube, and I watch over angels hearts before they fall. Now, how can I help?”

She stared at him for a second before a thought dawned across her face, “You said you watch over angels hearts before they fall? Do you mean you help them come down to Earth?”

“That and other things – Oh, I see where this is going!” He put himself between you and Isa’s heart, “You need me to nudge these guys in the right direction, yeah?”

“Yes, exactly. I’ll guide you as far as you can go and take them from there.” But suddenly, her eyes were sunken, “I wasn’t – I didn’t think I’d need to take both of you at the same time.” She eyed you both, “Isa’s heart… it’s so…”

“Weak.” He ended flatly, “I know.”

Looking again at his heart, you could see the difference between his constellation and the ones above you. The flickering of the dying lights continued on along a rotten beat, cracks spiderwebbed through the lines connecting them. 

Chirithy nodded sadly, “Heartbreak is a deadly thing, and his memories have all but gone.”

Naminé’s hands balled at her sides and her voice cracked with frustration, “I’ll get them back for you. And you too, Y/N.” 

“Naminé…” You reached out to her, but she shook her head and wiped her eyes before the tears came. 

“I think I know what to do…” She sniffed and met your gaze, “We can hug after we’re done.”

You hesitated, your hand still held up in the air, but you eventually relented and stayed where you were. She was a castle of glass, one blow from caving in.

“Alright. What are we going to do?”

* * *

You opened your eyes to find yourself in Traverse Town yet again, with Isa’s heart and Chirithy, exactly how you were before. The plan was in motion, now you were to lead it along. Together.

Chirithy stepped away from your back, and was quiet for too long before tugging on your hand, “Follow me.”

You stood, and Isa’s heart rose from the ground as well.

“Are you certain this will work?” He asked.

“It has to.” You said, “Naminé can do it. We can do it. Let’s – “ and at just that moment, you felt a chill run down your spine. The feeling of being watched, the eyes of a predator on your back. You turned on your heel, gaze darting around the alley until flying up to the overhangs above you. There was nothing there, but the feeling hadn’t gone away. 

Swallowing, you patted the back of Chirithy’s head, urging him forward, “Let’s go. No time to lose.”

He led you through the winding streets, through a set of doors that led to a plaza crowded with houses. The sound of windchimes came to you yet again, and you felt your chest ache. 

Down a few short flights of stairs, leading to a wide-open area of stone, dotted with glowing orange street lamps, he bounced towards yet another pair of doors, surrounded by tall walls. You couldn’t even see where they ended and the sky began, they just kept going on and on. The air was unnaturally still, and there was a pull at your navel, tugging you towards the doors.

“Here it is. The exit to Earth.”

You took a deep breath and took a step forward, but Isa didn’t. “Isa?”

He floated there, on the threshold of change after hundreds of years of stagnation, “I don’t know if I can.”

You stood there, staring at him, feeling rather than remembering echoes of a life you would rather leave forgotten. The memories would come back, however, they always did. Staring at a closed door, staring over a city, staring at shadows and hearing hissing whispers that made your ears burn in shame.

You reached and gently placed your palm against the curve of his heart, “If I could, I think you can, too. I’ll be with you, but I can only take you so far.”

His stars faded and flickered, fractured, “How will I make it?”

You knelt, bringing your other hand to hold the other side, “Naminé will be watching over you, but you have to carry your weight, too. We can’t do it ourselves, its up to you to save yourself.”

“Alone?”

“No, not alone. What did I just say? We’ll be with you, and they’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.” Slowly, you leaned your forehead against him, feeling the static against your skin, “You’re not alone. Please, let’s go home. Together.”

He went still, then, a choked sigh stuttered out of him.

“Are you ready, Isa? Are you ready to go home?”

“Yes.” He whispered in a broken voice, “Yes, please.”

“Me, too. Let’s go.” You stood, wiping your eyes, and turned back to the doors, only to find Chirithy standing there before them.

His ears drooped low, and his eyes were downcast, little paws hanging limply at his sides. 

“Chirithy?”

“It’s time for you to go.” He said, trying hard to sound happy, but he couldn’t fake it.

You approached him and knelt on both knees. You pet his head, watched his threaded eyes close, then your hand came to caress his cheek, “Can’t you come with us?”

He pressed into your palm, eyes squeezed shut, “No, I’m needed here.”

“There’s no one left.”

“Not so, and there will be more. I can’t leave.” 

“But you’ll be alone. Again.” 

The weight of thousands of years of loneliness was heavy on his chest as he nodded against your hand, “Yes, I will be. But I promised I’d stay.”

You sighed quietly, tears pricking at your eyes, “Maybe I’ll find my way back here again someday.”

“Maybe.” But he didn’t sound so sure. “But don’t you worry about me. My place is here, and your place is on Earth. You’re wanted, and needed. And I’m going to help you go home, now.”

You cupped his other cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead, felt his soft fur against your lips, “Thank you, Chirithy.”

“Thank you,” He said back, lifting his face to gaze upon you, “for giving me some company for a while. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

Yet another goodbye, “The pleasure was all mine.” 

He bounced into your arms, tucking his velour face against your shoulder, and you held the back of his head and little body close. 

“Will I forget you?”

The silence stretched on, and your stomach sunk. 

“Chirithy?”

His voice was small as he said, “Yes. It’s the way it has to be.”

You squeezed him tighter, “I don’t want to forget you.”

“Memories are never truly gone, only forgotten. The heart remembers, Y/N. You’ll remember me there, and I’ll be here to remember you.” He leaned out of your embrace and gave you a terrible, sad smile, “Now, let’s get you home; where you belong.”

Before you could protest, he stepped away from you and walked to the door. There was the echo of a lock clicking open, and the doors slowly swung open, revealing a great expanse of the brilliantly clear night sky. He stood against the stars, staring back at you.

You swallowed, then you and Isa approached. The pulling sensation grew, drawing you towards the edge of the world. 

Chirithy stepped through the doorway, walking on air. He turned to the two of you, “Take my paw.” You stared at the ledge and at the bottomless sky below in fear, but he said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m right here.” 

Isa sidled against you, and you held him with one arm. What lay outside the solid ground was a vast unknown, and for a moment you wondered why you were taking the risk. But he was right there beside you, he was there before you, and they were down below waiting for you. Taking a deep breath, you held out your hand, closed your eyes and stepped off the stone and into nothing.

For a moment, you were spinning, suspended in space, but the pull of gravity on your limbs warned of the impending fall. Your grip on Isa’s heart slipped. If you had blood, it would’ve flown to your head.

A soft paw filled your palm and the weight lifted. You were suddenly weightless, secured in Chirithy’s hold. Isa’s heart fluttered against your hip, mimicking the sudden racing of your own. The lines connecting your stars pulsed rapidly and your entire body thrummed with your heartbeat.

“See? I’ve got you.” Chirithy said. 

He turned in the air, still holding your hand. Then, it’s not so much that you moved, but the stars did. It wasn’t so different from how Naminé scrolled through the stars in your dreams, but it was more like standing still while hours pass and the sky turns around and around, with you stuck in time. The bright lights waltzed and streaked past you, streaks of paint against a dark blue canvas, until they slowed to a stop.

Chirithy pointed at something below you, “There. Do you see her?”

At first, no, then a star winked silver at you, and you felt a child grip your wrist and pull you toward it. A band of light blue light spread out from that one star, through the lines that connected it to the rest of the constellation. 

“Yes.”

He nodded, mostly to himself, “The first step of many. No matter how many times I do this, it never gets less beautiful, or any easier.” He couldn’t look at you. “I remember him. Your soulmate. He was… so lost, so broken. It wasn’t long until he wanted to leave, but he stuck around for a time anyway. For Isa.” Finally, you managed to catch his wistful, sidelong glance, “But he was never meant to stay. They never are. 

“I’m so glad you had each other. Thank you for helping him heal. I only hope you can heal, too.”

You stared silently at your destination below you, “I’m… going to do my best.”

“I know you will. But remember, your best changes from day to day. Give yourself patience and compassion, okay? You deserve that.” 

“Hey…” You said, after record scratching on a word, “what did you mean by - ?”

He giggled, then pressed his other paw to his mouth in a _shhh_ motion, “That’s for him to explain, not me.”

“That’s hardly fair! You can’t just say something like that and – “

He shook his head, “You won’t even remember what I said.”

You glared, “And what about Isa? Will he remember?”

“For a time. His heart is still an angel’s, but it’ll slip away eventually.”

Something fractured a little inside, remembering that Chirithy was going to be alone and forgotten. You repeated, voice breaking, “That’s hardly fair.”

“Life doesn’t need to be fair. Life is what it is, and it’s time for you to return to it.” 

He gently swung you through the air, still holding onto your hand. The fingers around your wrist grew tighter, the pull more urgent.

“Chirithy?”

“Yes?”

You squeezed his soft paw, feeling your bottom lip tremble, “Thank you.”

His eyes smiled, serene and sad, “You’re very welcome.”

With Isa secured at your side, you let go and let the hand guide you away. Chirithy and Traverse Town began to shrink, getting farther and farther away. 

Was it your voice that said it? Or was it his last parting? “Goodbye.”

Like a falling star, you felt you both pick up speed as the force of your decent overwhelmed you. Biting back a scream, you wrapped both arms around Isa’s heart and held fast. The last thing you saw was Naminé’s heart welcoming you.

The last thing you felt, however, was the sting of claws against the flesh of your eyes.

* * *

Isa didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he knew when he did, he was in a moving car, speeding across the highway in the middle of the earth night. He remembered the chill in his blood and in his bones, and he remembered the tense silence that sung him to sleep.

When he dreamed, he dreamed of amber eyes, and Xehanort’s insistent hissing in his ear: _You are me. I am you. My arm, my hand, my finger. Kill the abductor, take back the weapon. Return to me. Return to me, now._

Why did he let him do this? Why did he let it go this far?

In his nightmare, he felt Xehanort's claws tear into his chest, slipping through his ribs like warm butter, and the pain – oh, the agony! He saw the dark infested glow of his heart for just a moment before it disappeared inside of him, settling in like a tumor where his heart once was. The pain! The pain, the pain! The cold, it infested and tore through his veins, and he fell to the stone under him. 

_Give in._ He felt his words needle into his mind: _Give in to me. Become a part of me._

How foolish was he to believe in his lies?

Xehanort had smiled paternally at him before the betrayal, the way he had always yearned for Eraqus to smile at him; with pride and without pity. And now, he understood it was a trick. This man was heartless long before he let the Darkness take it. 

“Allow me to gift to you my legacy,” He had said, “and you shall have purpose.”

And he said yes. He wanted it. He needed his approval like humans need air. 

Xehanort smiled at Saix, prone on the ground in his own hot sick, convulsing and gasping like a fish on land. That’s where Xehanort left him, closing the door behind him. Saix was trapped alone in the dark. 

He didn’t have a heart to feel with, but he had wants. He wanted to live, to survive, and be himself and only himself. He wanted to be somewhere far away, he wanted – he wanted – He wanted his friend. He needed his friend, now more than ever. If they could even be called friends, now. 

“Lea.” He whispered in a broken voice. His arms shook violently as he pushed himself onto them, “Help… Help me. _Help me._ ” 

_You don’t deserve his help._ A nasty voice that wasn’t Xehanort’s spat at him, _What have you done to deserve any kindness from him? He fell with you, and how did you repay him?_

Axel kept talking. Kept talking. Kept talking. He was good at talking. 

Isa would talk back. Saix fell silent. And he stayed silent over, and over, and over, until the words dwindled, drifted off, and fell into silence with nothing to connect to and cross this chasm that had come between them. 

Demons can’t feel, but Saix knew if he could, he would sob. But he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t succumb to this… _this._ Even if he deserved it, even if it was fate, he would deny it with his dying breath. He wasn’t a pawn, he wasn’t a puppet – the same word he had so thoughtlessly thrown at the twin weapon, how fitting was that? – and he wasn’t Xehanort. 

He wasn’t his wing, and he wasn’t helpless or a creature to pity. But he couldn’t get out without help, and there was only one person in all the realms that might consider giving it. 

Saix crawled to the door and clawed up the wall, onto his own two feet. His whole body was shivering violently, it was like a piece of ice inside his soul and spreading to his extremities. It came in waves, huge, torrential, punishing waves that threatened to throw him to the cold floor. Once he was in the halls, he threw up twice more, though he did not eat. What came out was foul black sludge, dribbling over his trembling lips and getting into his hair. His stomach ached hollowly and begged for relief, but it kept filling with whatever it was purging. 

All the while, he could feel him. Inside. There were flashes of – of _things_ . Swelling, bubbling, boiling over. Memories he pushed away and pretended not to see – not his own. Emotions that wrapped around his neck and threatened to choke him out – _not his own._ The parts that were Xehanort and the parts that were Saix, no, Isa, were blurring. Where did he begin, and where did he end? 

He stumbled his way to Axel’s room, and said his real name, and, against all odds, Lea helped. He _helped._ Though, he hadn’t thought that he and the twin weapons were actually going to run, until they had. Together, on that very same night. 

And no, he wasn’t jealous that they were going to run together, without him. He _wasn’t._

Next thing he knew, they were running as fast as they could. Many miles upon miles went past, but he was in too much pain to pay attention. It was all he could do not to throw up on his old friend and now savior. 

Then, they were in a motel that smelled of dust and mildew, where the wallpaper was peeling off the walls in places and the beds were as hard as bricks. Lea had placed him on one, but he couldn’t sleep. 

“How are you feeling?” Lea had asked, not bothering to cast aside his human façade. None of them had.

Isa’s dry tongue moved against his chattering teeth, “C – Cold.”

Lea stared at him, the only thing betraying his expression being the uneven shift of his feet. Finally, he sighed, and sat on the bed beside Isa, with his back turned to him, and offered his hand. He ignored the prolonged, awkward silence as Isa stared at it in confusion and asked someone to get a washcloth and run some hot water on it. 

Trembling and unsure, like a skittish animal, Isa took Lea’s hand, and was suddenly reminded of how much fire burned under his skin. His skin was so hot it could burn a human, but for Isa, it managed to warm his fingers, frost hidden underneath the nails. 

He didn’t see who placed the hot washcloth on his forehead, but he did see the brief look they had given him. Surprise, confusion, and revulsion. Perhaps that was warranted, considering how coldly he had treated them, but still, something about it made his mind go to war. The fact Lea wouldn’t look him in the face for too long, let alone make eye contact, only made the gunfire and death cries louder.

“Try to rest. We’ll stay here for a few hours.” Lea said to the room.

“What about you?” Roxas asked from out of sight. 

“I’ll keep watch.”

Xion’s voice was a touch threadbare, “But, aren’t you tired?” 

Was Isa hearing things, or was there genuine affection in Lea’s tone? “I’ll be fine. You two take the other bed. Try to get some sleep.”

There was more token resistance, but they relented. Eventually, a pair of deep breaths filled the nighttime silence, punctuated here and there by snores and sleepy muttering. 

“You should sleep, too.” 

Isa didn’t realize he was the one being spoken to until he caught Lea looking at him from his peripheral. “You look like shit.”

He huffed a humorless laugh, the first one in many, many years. “I feel like shit.”

“So, you can still laugh.” Lea’s tone was guarded and cool, so very different from how he spoke to Xion. “I’m surprised the effort didn’t kill you.”

And yet, he still held his hand, offering what warmth he could. And why, oh, Master’s why, did he feel this… bite inside of him? Like something had just crushed a bit of something else inside his chest. It wasn’t Xehanort.

“Disappointed?”

That earned him a scowl, “I wouldn’t have carried you across five cities if I’d – “ He growled in frustration and annoyance, “Look, I wouldn’t be helping you if I wanted you dead. So, despite how much it must pain you, can you try not to be an ass and make me regret it?”

Isa went silent, staring at their hands without really seeing them. His voice sounded like a stranger’s when he asked, “Why did you help me?”

Lea wasn’t looking at him anymore. He sighed and rubbed his face with the palm of his hand. “Because you were my friend, once. And unlike you, I didn’t forget that.”

“I never forgot.” Isa meant it to be sharper than how it came out, but it was a little whisper. “You’re the one who made new friends.” And it was childish and petulant to say, but he couldn’t rewind time and steal the words out of his mouth before they could be spoken.

There was a moment’s silence, then Lea pinched his brow between his fingers, “Masters, Isa, what the hell is your problem? Is that why you look at them like that?” Though his frame was taught like a string on a bow, his hand didn’t squeeze around Isa’s fingers. “They’ve got nothing to do with whatever happened between you and I. That’s old news. So, don’t you dare try to use them as a scapegoat when you’re the one who stopped talking.” 

Suddenly, the full force of Lea’s wrathful glare was on him, “I won’t tolerate a word against them, do you understand? They’re my – “ His voice cracked like thin ice, “They’re mine. And I will drop your ass if you don’t put on your big-boy pants and act like an adult.”

Isa wanted to return that glare, but couldn’t force it knowing that Lea was right. Instead, let his eyes fall closed, feeling the possession shoot through his nerves, making his muscles twitch and flex without his permission.

 _I’m sorry._ The words pressed against his cracked lips, _Just say you’re sorry, and mean it._ But, Isa wouldn’t, yet. His pride wouldn’t allow it.

“Thank you.” He managed to say instead, the words like knives in his throat, despite how much he meant them. “I will…” 

The whirring of the air conditioning filled the silence that followed like water in a glass, as did the low hum of electricity. Compared to the still, haunting quiet of The Castle That Never Was, it was so, so, so very loud.

Lea sighed again, but didn’t let go of his hand. “Get some sleep.”

But Isa feared if he did, whatever woke up wouldn’t be him. Without distraction, he felt needles everywhere; in his bones, in his arteries, in his flesh, in his teeth, in his lungs, in his stomach, in his mind, behind his eyes, but mostly, where his heart would be.

What he hated now, as much as a demon could hate, was in the quiet, he could hear a slow, sluggish heartbeat. Within him. _Within him!_ It made his stomach turn once more and he had to swallow the bile that pushed up his throat. 

No, Isa wouldn’t sleep, not yet. Not until it forced his head under and smothered him into unconsciousness. 

Lea pretended not to notice.

When the first rays of summer dawn arrived, red and warm, the group left to find a car. Lea handled the entire thing, with Xion, Roxas, and Isa waiting nearby; never once out of sight. 

It was incredibly awkward. Sitting by them, but not too close, with his hands in his lap. He could feel them eyeing him, and could see the suspicion in every line on their young faces. He also caught other’s stares as well, humans who would quickly avert their gazes as soon as their eyes met. But they would look again out of the corners of their wide eyes.

Isa felt his brow slowly furrow. 

Lea returned with keys and a hard, thin line where his mouth once was. “Let’s get out of here.”

And so, they drove along the highway, stopping only for gas three times. All the while, Isa sat in the front seat beside Lea. But it wasn’t a seat of honor, it was a prison cell, where he was watched closely. 

If there was conversation, he was rarely involved, and he preferred it that way. His eyes were heavy, and even with the blanket they stole from the motel, he was shivering. His tongue was like cotton and what words managed to come out felt like glass against his lips. Eventually, it took all his concentration just to stay awake, and as night fell and the company on the highway became sparse, even that wasn’t enough.

His nightmare of amber eyes chasing him, steadily and surely, wouldn’t be his last. 

When he awoke, it was very early morning, still dark outside with nothing but the stars and the new moon to keep them company. There was a rest stop at the side of the road; a low brick building with several mildewy wooden benches and tables surrounding it. The smell of grass followed the breeze.

Isa was surprised to find that he felt a little stronger than before, though still cold. 

Lea’s voice was gravelly with exhaustion, “We’re going to stop here. Stretch your legs, wash up, and come back.”

Of course, none of them actually left on their own. They left in a group towards the rest stop. Xion went with them to the men’s washroom instead of going to the women’s on their own. At the time, Isa hadn’t yet needed help to walk. He managed to get inside on his own on weakening knees. 

Lea quickly splashed some water on his face and wiped it off with his shirt as Xion and Roxas walked past him to the showers, carrying the shampoo and bar soap they took from the motel.

“I’m going to wait outside.” He said, returning to the small hallway leading to the restroom, “Shout if you need something.”

Soon, two showerheads were turned on, leaving Isa alone in front of the sinks. With a heavy sigh, Isa walked towards them, paying no mind to the mirror in favor of also splashing some water on his face. He waited for the water to get at least lukewarm before cupping his shaking hands under the faucet and bringing them up to his face.

The water ran down, off his chin, down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. Slowly, he rubbed his calloused palms over his eyes and his cheeks. Lost in the sensation.

Then, he raised his gaze to the mirror, and saw horror in the flesh. His eyes, once as blue as the sea reef, where now an ugly amber – the same amber as Xehanort’s. 

“No.” He heard his voice echo against the stone, barely heard over the jets of water, “No. _No._ ” The stares – the shock – the disgust – _“No!”_

His cold fingers, nails as sharp as knives, touched the violet skin underneath his eyes. The sting of his claws pressing into the soft flesh made him flinch. “My eyes.” He gasped, breaths coming quick and short, “What happened to my eyes?” 

“Isa?” He heard Lea say, but his voice was distant, at the far end of a cavern.

Fledgling emotions began to flood his consciousness, quick and overpowering as a tidal wave, “Xehanort, what have you done to me?!” He croaked, his claws digging further into his cheeks under his widening eyes, wild with madness.

Lea asked again, “Isa, are you okay?” 

But Isa didn’t hear. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, glaring at the stranger’s eyes, he withdrew his claws from his cheeks and brought them to the flesh of those eyes. With a roar that borderlined on a screech, he plunged his fingers into his eye sockets.

He felt his eyes bulge and then pop like water balloons, the liquid and blood oozing out from between his fingers and dripping down his cheeks. The next cry was one of pain, but his nails hooked against the skin of his face and yanked, hard. The wet rip of skin off muscle was loud in his ears, drowning out the sound of his own wails. 

His hands were sticky and wet with his black blood and he felt flaps of skin hanging off by tendons hitting his saliva slick lips. Blindness swallowed his whole world into nothing but dark and cold. His lungs struggled against the overwhelming weak emotions, and he realized he was drowning in the deepest depths of the ocean. 

There were shouts of other’s hitting his ears, and arms were around him, cradling him, crying his name.

“I’m sorry!” His words were cracked and jagged out of his tight throat, little air bubbles dying before they met the surface, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Those amber eyes were waiting for him on the ocean floor. Until then, there was darkness, and a sensation of weightlessness blanketed by suffocation. It grabbed him, a solid weight dragging him further down. The cold was sinking into him, spreading out from this hole in his chest. He was a being of ice and stone, and he was drowning.

Two thin hands grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him away from the sift below. There was a voice, muffled by the water, calling out to him. Though he could not see, he knew it was somewhere above the far-off surface. And yet, he was pulled slowly, slowly up. 

His feet kicked weakly, trying to propel him out of the water. He could taste his acidic blood and the saltwater on his tongue. He kept kicking, kept kicking, and then reached with his other hand to swim. 

Something below grabbed his leg and yanked him down. 

_You are me! I am you!_

He shouted, and water filled his mouth and collapsed his lungs. The twisted hand worked against the hands that valiantly tried to bring him up. He felt himself be pulled back towards the black, cold, bottomless pit.

Another pair of hands took that wrist, these large and warm and familiar. Sunlight blessed upon his skin in the deep. He dared open his eyes and saw the sky and the fragmented rays of dawn blinking down at him through the waves.

_Swim, damn you! Swim! Come on!_

With a grimace, Isa kicked against the hand that threatened to drown him. He kick and flailed and swam towards that distant shore. The gnarled fingers held on with wicked strength, but he could hear it hissing and cursing him, could feel them slip bit by bit.

_I am not you! I am me! And you can’t have me!_

_YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ME!_

**_LET ME GO!_ **

**_GET! OUT!_ **

With one final kick, straight to the knuckles of that twisted hand, it let go with a garbled bellow, and Isa was free to swim. With those two hands helping him up, with his gaze on the sky through the water, he went rose up and up and up. Free. 

His face broke the surface, his first breath of salty air. Free!

_I’m free!_

* * *

Isa awoke with a sharp gasp. Darkness surrounded him on all sides, and for a moment he thought he had gone blind. His hair drifted off his bare back and shoulders, and the sensation of weightlessness shocked him. Past his panicked breaths, there was no sound, none at all. 

_Breathe._ His mind chided, _You’re no good if you panic. Breathe._

His next breath convulsed in his lungs, but he managed to fill them, and then slowly release. Fill, release. Fill, release, until he was… not calm, not calm at all, but not scared either.

The silence filled the space around him, deafening, until it gave way to something new. A heartbeat. A strong, living heartbeat.

Disbelief attempted to steal the air out of his lungs again. His hand crept up his bare torso until it came to rest over his left-side breast. Under the skin, cradled within the ribs, it pumped against his palm. _Ba-bump – Ba-bump – Ba-bump -_

It was a foreign weight after so long, but one he hadn’t realized he so desperately craved to return. Salt water dripped into his mouth, the taste of his tears had finally come. And they came, and came, and a broken noise creaked out of his throat. What agony! What sweet agony it was to feel again! 

He gasped for breath, clutching at his chest with one hand pressed against his mouth. The intoxication of emotion rolled through him with a potency he hadn’t been prepared for. Processing everything he had gone through was enough to rip his newly won heart in two. 

_Breathe!_ That voice said again, urgency clear in every syllable, _Breathe, you’ve got to breathe!_

A mocking laugh echoed in his ringing ears.

“Why don’t you take a breath, kid?” That insufferable voice grated against his memories. “Not a thing you can do about it now.”

The heart that floated above him was large, far larger than Isa would have guessed. The colors bled from purple to teal, to silver to gold, and the shell around it reminded Isa of paper that had gone yellow with age.

Isa’s heart didn’t bother answering Braig’s, only continued to cry.

He didn’t laugh, but there was cruel humor in his voice, “C’mon, why don’t you watch the show with me? Soon enough, there won’t be any reason to cry at all. Not when that old coot decides to play out his part.”

Isa’s heart sniffled and went still, “What are you talking about?” He hiccupped, then changed his mind, “Never mind! Leave me alone.”

If the heart above him could smile, Isa could only imagine he would, “Everyone else has left, kiddo. No one else to bother ‘cept you.”

“Then go with them!”

“Nah, I’d rather stay right here, safe and cozy. Wouldn’t want to take refuge in a world that’ll die anyway.”

“What are you prattling on about?” Isa snapped, “If you won’t leave me alone then at least make sense!”

Braig’s chuckle made Isa’s heart shudder, “That’d be a long, long story, and I don’t feel like telling it. All you need to know is that Xehanort’s got a big ol’ plan, and all our friends are gonna die, eventually.” This time, he sighed, and it was almost wistful, maybe even sad, “Gotta wonder what Kingdom Hearts is going to do this time around.”

That was about the time Isa tuned him out and ran away from him. But now, back inside his body with his mind at his dispense once more – 

_Kingdom Hearts._ The very name made a cold shudder go up and down his spine. He remembered the details Lea had shared with him, what he had read inside Xehanort’s journal. They had thought he was going senile – but if it was possible, then – 

There was a small groan and a _fssssss_. Cracks of light split the pitch black, between the seams of his cage. And slowly, the petals began to unfurl, bathing him in a harsh, white glow.

He covered his eyes with a grimace, and voices reached his ears – wonderful, familiar voices – 

“Isa! You’re back!”

Ignoring his stinging eyes, Isa lowered his hand and saw before him his oldest and best friend. “Lea?” Then shouted when a piece of fabric hit him square in the face.

“Cover up! No one wants to see that!”

And, just like that, Isa was painfully aware of his nudity and quickly covered himself with the – it was a sheet. Flushing with embarrassment, he stared at the welcoming party. There was Lea, of course, then Roxas and Xion, and behind them was…

His throat closed the second he laid eyes on the Ancient and had no choice but to look away. But, before anything else could be said, he announced, “I think I know what he’s going to do.”

The hush that fell upon them was immediate.

“What?” Lea asked.

Isa stared right back, and was startled by what he saw, but said anyway, “Xehanort. I think I know what he’s plotting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again. On the road again.  
> Guess who got fucking Covid and was sick for the last three weeks? THIS GUY. which meant I got to work on this behemoth of a project. Guys. you don't understand. We're past Wherever You Are (my first reader/lea multichapter fic) wordcount. I hit 300 pages in microsoft word today.  
> What have I created


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